You guys, I am so so so so so so so so sorry. I've had the biggest writing malfunction ever. But now I know where the whole story is going for good. So be expecting chapters. Enjoy...
Chapter Eleven.
Alice told me that it would only be me, her, Jasper and Edward again today. The rest of them were going away hunting since they didn't go before. At school it was still a little awkward between Edward and I. We didn't talk that much to each other directly.
Once again, I had to go to their house after school. I don't even remember how my house looked anymore. I told them that I had to stop by my house to get something first though.
School was an amazing blur for me, nowadays. The work was beyond easy and I finished almost everything in class. Today wasn't an exception.
I drove to my house quickly just wanting to get today over with. I wasn't sure exactly what his reaction will be, when I give it back to him. But it didn't make sense for me to keep it anymore. It wasn't mine.
I've been telling that to myself for awhile now, but the time did nothing to help the pain that washed through me when I thought that. Sometimes I hated reality. We probably had the longest engagement in the world.
I quickly got in and out of my house, getting the ring in the process. I hadn't worn in so long, it seemed new to me. I stuffed it my shirt pocket and sped away to their house. I hadn't had a clue on how I should approach him with this. He probably wouldn't expect. We also had to be alone, I didn't want Alice or Jasper there.
What I was mostly worried about though, was how I would cope with this. When I knew that it was final, that it wasn't mine anymore for sure. That I wouldn't have any part of what we had been. I shuddered at the thought of what that would do to me.
I crept up to their Victorian mansion through the thick greenery surrounding it. I was nervous as I went up the stairs but relaxed when I told myself that I would give it back to him at the end of the day, not now. I knocked twice, not feeling very comfortable just walking in.
Edward came to the door.
"Hi." I said walking in.
"Hey." He said, with an annoyed tone in his voice.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"You'll find out soon." He replied. My eyebrows scrunched.
At the same time I saw Alice coming down the stairs in a dark blue velvet dress all the way down to the floor. It was tight on her and fit her perfectly.
"I'm feeling completely under dressed." I stated. She just smiled.
"There was a slight change of plans. Jasper decided to take me out tonight, so we won't be able to spend time together today." She said.
I narrowed my eyes at her. She knew I couldn't object though.
"Oh, that's perfectly fine. I hope you guys have fun." I replied sweetly.
Just then I saw Jasper coming down the stairs in a dark blue tux, that matched her dress.
"We will. You guys have fun also." She said, and linked arms with Jasper.
She really was evil. She had probably been planning this for a long time. It's not like I didn't want to be alone with Edward. It was just that I knew it would be awkward. But I guess it would work because we would be alone, and I could give him the ring without any company.
"Yeah we will also. Bye you guys." I said.
With an eye roll from Edward directed towards Jasper and another farewell from Alice, it was only Edward and I left. It was getting silent, so I left it up to myself not to make tonight awkward at all.
"So where did they go?" I asked him. He shrugged his shoulders.
"Jasper had like ten different places in mind and he kept changing his mind so that Alice would be surprised." He said. I giggled.
"So what do you want to do?" He asked quietly.
"I don't know whatever you want..." I trailed off as my eyes saw the grand piano. I couldn't believe I had never noticed it before.
His eyes followed to where I was looking at. They brightened and he smiled.
"Do you play?" He asked happily walking over to it. I followed after him.
The piano was huge. You could tell it was expensive. I really wanted to hear him play for me again. I snorted.
"No, I don't. You still play though, right?"
"Yeah, its one of my favorite pass times." He replied.
I sat on the black stool, and gently felt the ivory with my fingertips. Not even a speck of dust was on it.
"Play something for me." I pleaded, but it came out as a whisper. He seemed shocked by my expression.
"Of course." He went over to me and sat down next to me. His sweet fragrance filled my nostrils and relaxed my whole body.
He started out with something soft, that I hadn't ever heard before. It didn't even seem like only he was playing it. I closed my eyes as I let the bittersweet melody wash over me. I could feel my mouth turn into a smile. He could always make me happy by playing me anything.
The song changed than. It transformed into something that was beautifully and terrifyingly familiar. It started out so sweet and pure like it always did. The melody was printed in my memory but it felt so much different to be having hearing it again. By the same person that had wrote it for you oh so long ago. By heart felt a snap of pain and my eyes burst open. With each flow of the keys my insides felt like they were being squeezed tighter and tighter.
My hand flew out and grasped his making the song stop abruptly. He turned his head towards me sharply, and it was then I realized my breaths were coming out in short little gasps.
"Bella? What's wrong? Are you O.K?!" He asked frantically.
It took me a moment to be able to get words out of my mouth.
"Please, don't play that ever again." I managed to choke out. For once I heard how deep my vulnerability actually was.
His eyes finally held understanding. Then they filled with sorrow and with what seemed like hate. He stood like that for a while, just glaring at the keys. It gave me time to calm myself down.
"I'm so sorry, Bella." He said. The words were filled with so much emotion that I felt a shiver go through me when he said my name.
"Don't." I said automatically. I hated it when he blamed himself. "You didn't know."
"I didn't even know where it came from, I was just looking at you and it came out." He said.
That was good at least. He was remembering certain things. I didn't want to talk about the past though.
"Show me your room." I said, trying to change the topic. He smiled at the attempt.
He got up and took my hand. I noticed again how naturally he did it, and smiled at the feeling at having him touch me. We crept up the long staircase, until we got to the third floor. He opened a door to the right and led me inside.
It was very spacious and had a golden carpet. The biggest part of his room was the wall of CDs that covered the whole space. The other wall was a window making the room light. There was a black leather couch on the middle, and a huge stereo in a corner.
"Impressive." I said and he chuckled.
He walked over to the stereo and put in a CD. The whole room filled with classical music. I smiled and closed my eyes, it was a habit I had whenever I listened to music. I opened them after a while to find Edward staring at me.
It was in that second that I remembered the ring in my pocket. Somehow the moment seemed right. It was now or never I guess.
"Edward, like I said yesterday, I need to give you something." I told him.
"What it is?" He asked and walked up to me.
"It's something that doesn't belong to me anymore." I said. He looked at me quizzically.
I took out the box from my pocket and put it in his hand. There was no way he wouldn't be able to tell what was in there.
He looked down at his hand, and then slowly raised his head back up. His face was unreadable.
"Bella." He said. His face turned to look broken. It matched his voice well. I'm sure mine was the same, since I felt the need to cry. My hand was still in his from where I left the box.
He slowly, very slowly, pulled me towards him. I couldn't see anything around me anymore. His other hand went around my neck and his thumb cupped my chin so I was looking up to him. His brilliant star golden eyes looked like they were about to catch on fire. I couldn't even feel my legs anymore. I gave up on breathing all together.
He pulled me so close that our foreheads were touching. I needed him. I was craving him. I could never be only his friend. I was tired of waiting. I couldn't stop myself.
I didn't even think about what his response might be. I crashed my lips to his, molding our bodies together. My lips against his were fervent, trying to fill up my body. My tongue traced his bottom lip, and when he granted me entrance I lost all control. He tasted like nothing I had ever felt before. Our tongues were battling with each other, trying to get as close as possible.
My head was swarming, and my body was trembling slightly. He gripped my waist and pulled me into him even closer. My hands lost themselves in his feathery bronze hair. My body felt ignited, I had been waiting for this moment for the past 80 years.
It took my brain a long time to catch up with my body. What was I doing?! I shouldn't be doing this, it wasn't fair to him. And now I've even made things worse for myself as well. I knew I wouldn't last anymore without him, and I wasn't even sure if he had any feelings towards me.
I broke away from him suddenly. I looked into his eyes. One main emotion that I could detect was shock. He was shocked that I had kissed him. He was probably just trying to hug me for comfort or something when I had given him back the ring. I felt so.....stupid.
I did one thing I was practically a pro at doing now. I ran.
"I -I'm s- so sor-ry." I said, trying desperately to fight back the sobs.
He opened his mouth to say something, but I couldn't let him. I didn't need him to feel sorry for me or reject me. I ran with all I had in me back to my house. I realized that he hadn't come after me and I was glad.
When I got inside, I went to my living room and sank down into the couch. I closed my eyes and tried very hard not to cry. I had been doing a lot of that lately and I needed a break.
My mind concluded the basic facts. There was no way that Edward and I could be friends now, because of my inability of self-control. I had ruined everything.
----------------------------
I didn't go to school on Friday. Mostly because I was a coward, I couldn't face him. I stayed at home all day, basking in my depression. I figured that Alice would probably stop by later, but I really didn't want to see her. I wanted to be alone.
The day passed on quickly and I barely did anything productive around the house. I just unpacked all the little things I had completely forgotten about. I had even lost track of time when I heard a car pulling up.
It was still far away but it would get here soon. I sighed dramatically. I guess Alice would be unavoidable today. I started walking down the stairs when I heard the car turn off in the driveway.
The scent that came with it though, stopped me dead in my tracks. Edward.
I was still frozen when I heard the knock on the door. I mentally groaned out loud. I couldn't face him, I was too embarrassed.
I made my legs move in the direction of the door and with a loud sigh, I opened it. He stood there with water dripping down his face. When wasn't in raining in Forks?
"Come in." I said hurriedly. He followed me inside.
When we were in my living room, filled with the empty boxes, I turned to look at him.
He was about to say something before he exhaled sharply. He looked me up and down. I wasn't sure what was wrong, but when I looked at myself I figured it out. Since I knew I wouldn't be going out today, I just put on a short tank top and some shorts after I took a shower.
I turned up to look at him and he was shaking his head slightly, the movements barely noticeable. I figured I would just ignore my lack of a proper wardrobe.
"Listen Bella,-" He started, I cut him off.
"No. Just don't, please. I know what I did was completely out of order. And I'm sorry. I just- Its- Its just really hard for me, Edward. But that is not something that should affect you, and I shouldn't have let that happen." I said.
He was staring at me blankly. He didn't do or say anything for awhile. I began to feel uncomfortable under his gaze.
"Edward, say something." I finally managed to say.
He didn't respond though.
He closed the distance between us so quickly, I even had a hard time seeing him. And then with a gentle finger on my chin, he tilted my face towards him and completely ravished my mouth.
A/N- Well they finally kissed, I hope that contributes to the process of forgiving me?? I'll never leave you hanging like that again. I promise. So on a brighter note, tell me how you like the chapter, or yell at me, either way. Next chapter, probably next week. How bout every Thursdays from now on? Ok, leave me a review =)
xoxo
Kalina