Chapter 12
Although Dick began talking in choppy incomplete sentences again he never asked anyone anything; memories would creep into his dreams at night and vanish in the time he would awaken. They tried everything they could think of to help him remember his dreams but it didn't seem to work. Bruce even took him to Haly's circus in hope that that his most loved memories as well as the most tragic memories of his life would ignite the fire that used to burn in his sons eyes, but it didn't work. His only real memories were of the boy in his dreams the Vision of the bat and the picture of the angel that he found while stranded, but now he just had no clue what the memory meant. As the nightmare became more constant he seemed to be coming more and more despondent.
Nights were becoming more difficult as Dick fought the need to sleep. Against all that Bruce believed, he finally agreed to use medications to induce sleep. It was added to his food or drink and he was not left alone. Once he fell asleep. Leslie and Alfred Barbara and even Tim took turns watching over him. But just as Bruce had feared the Dick was withdrawing. His one word sentences, gone even his smile was gone. He was becoming more introverted as the dreams were becoming more vivid. Sometimes the dreams were so real he would awaken with bruises that had not been there the night before. The walks were happening less only because the meds where working. But on occasion he would get up and wander down the stairs and out the door. But they were always to the same places. if the dreams were mild he would end up in the garden.
Any time he came on to the grounds he was met by Ace, one of the guard dogs, she would wander with him and sometimes it was as if Dick knew she was there. Who ever was sitting with him that night would fallow closely but only Ace would guide him if he seemed to wander someplace where he might be hurt, she would push him away from the trouble by blocking his movements with her body... and until he awoke or someone carried him in the house she never left his side. Sometimes the walks would lead to the Cemetery on the grounds he always went to the same spot on the far side of the hallowed grounds by a beautiful Oak tree that over looked the Bluff and guarded one isolated headstone that held two names the grave of his parents John and Mary Grayson. He didn't seem to pay any attention to the headstones them selves just the spot. This is why Bruce was certain that the dreams were no longer dreams but memories. He recognized some of the dreams by the boy's cries. Just as mother or father would know whether their infant was hungry or just tired by the way it cried. It was a sad reality to the life that he and his son shared. Leslie on the other hand was not ready for the pain the memories brought. She watched night after night as Dick became less social. His withdraw was becoming a physical problem as well. To keep from falling asleep he would walk until he could no longer move, and no one was eating a proper meal. Dark circles became an obvious feature of everyone in the house. Sleep was done in shifts and the medication they had given him to help him sleep was becoming more necessary as the young man fought the urge to close his eyes even to blink. But for the first time Leslie saw the reason he was fighting the needed rest. She had been there when he finally closed his eyes. She had spent many a night trying to ease him through his unfruitful sleep but any more his tears started even before the sleep came. Leslie listened, as the young man seemed to struggle with the return of another nightmare. Standing next to his bed she wiped the sweat from his brow. He wrestled for what seem to be an hour, and then slumped back into his bed. It wasn't long before his subtle grunts began to sound as if he was actually being hit. She tried talking to him but there was no response. Then after a few more minutes of silence he Dick cried out. In all her years of medicine she had never heard such anguish and true pain. He was no longer remembering this dream he was reliving it. The screaming stopped. Whatever Dick was experiencing had him arched nearly off the bed. Leslie screamed out in horror. But even that didn't break the sequence that the young boy was experiencing. She struggled to hold his convulsing body down but he seemed to have the strength of a bull, his body arched as if his hands and feet were tied. His mouth open but no sound was made. Alfred came running in the room just as Dick collapsed back into the soft cushions of his bed. Dick's eyes were open but empty his breath-labored, blood began to trickle from his nose and mouth. As Leslie quickly attempted to assess the young man she realized she was shaking and she couldn't stop the tears from falling and nothing she was doing was helping the young man whom she considered one of her own. Alfred tried to comfort her but she broke free from his embrace and ran off. This was his fault. This was her fault. this wasn't the first time she was made aware of the depths her boys sacrifices. But it was the first time she had experienced it, and she hated it.
Roy had finally gotten permission to bring Lian to visit after spending most of the day with him. Dick just sat in the garden. His sentences seem to consist of no more than two words. And most of them were aimed at the dog, which was allowed to follow him around. He had even stopped talking to Barbara, Tim and Bruce. It was like talking to an oversized child. Yes, no, please and thank you, were the major words in his vocabulary. If he chose to talk at all. His actions and his word were more and more child like. Medication had made him listless and despite the need to fight sleep he could no longer walk any farther than the garden. Roy spent a long time with his daughter trying to explain that the man she new as Uncle Dick or Nightwing was no longer there. That he was trapped inside himself. She didn't care she wanted to see her uncle Dick. His argument to Bruce was simple. If for no other reason than to give him another child to associate with. He got his permission and told them he would have a room prepared for them. Bruce wanted Leslie to speak with her before they let her visit. If she OK'd it they could try this experiment more in-depth in the morning. At this point it didn't matter Bruce had lost all hope of having his son back.
When he returned that evening he had explained to his daughter, as much as you could explain to a 4 year old, the problems that her Uncle Dick was having. She was just happy she was finally going to get to see him. Alfred met them at the door when they got there he told them that Dinner would be ready in a few minutes But he had to tend to Master Dick so if they would like to wait in the den they could Dick had fallen asleep on the chair in the den. Alfred had not realized his young charge had wandered from his room and fallen a sleep when he told them to go on into the den he would bring refreshments. "Unca Dick!" Lian announced brightly as she busted through the large door. The sound startled the sleeping man. His movements so quick that his actions came with out thought he reached out grabbing the blur that appeared in front of him and tossed her over his shoulder. Luckily Bruce had just appeared from the 'cave' when they came into the den he caught the frightened child just before she went through the glass door to the patio. The child quickly wrapped her arms around the big man who held her. Roy was still in the door way unsure what just happened. He couldn't remember feeling so helpless. Even his voice left him his first instincts were to kill his best friend, but he knew that wasn't Dick's fault really. "Oh God, forgive me." Dick cried, his voice as shaky as his legs. It was Dick Grayson that said those words not the Child that they had come to see as of late but the young man. Bruce gently carried the frightened child to her father. Trying to break through the look of shear horror that grabbed Dick. He realized what he had done. Bruce was certain that Dick was living his nightmares again. "Oh God, forgive me." "It's ok, son. Bruce whispered in the only voice that seemed to penetrate his fears. "She's fine." "Oh, God. Please for give me," He stumbled as he backed towards the doors to the patio he nearly tossed the child thru. "I am so sorry. Oh God. He fumbled with the doorknob. " Oh, God, Roy I would never hurt Lian. Oh God." still fumbling with the doorknob till it open then ran out the door. "Roy I have to go find him before he gets hurt." Roy reached over to the child who quickly reached for her father's neck. "It's ok baby, he didn't mean to hurt you honey." "I know he was scared." She smiled behind the tears. "Me too." "Me three." Roy whispered as they watched Bruce run out into the night. "Daddy? You said the unca Dick wouldn't recognized me." "That's right sweet heart, he hasn't regained his memory yet. It may take a long time. He may never remember us." "But daddy if he don't rememmer me how come he knew my name?" Dick ran through the wooded vale he seem to pay no mind to the branches that continued to punish him for braking through their fortification. His mind reeled back to a greater pain and the only way to relieve himself from it was to give in or give up "Hail Brother Blood....Hail...NO! HELL NO!." The pain of the memories kept flashing in his head. Twice they became so vivid that he fell to his knees his mind flooded with the pain and sorrow he felt... he caused... It was his fault he was to blame. There were only two ways to cleanse him self of the all that he saw. His body collapsed to the ground from the intense pain began to relive. The torturous times he had fallen pray to that mad man and because of him he nearly killed his friends and now ... Roy forgive me. he thought, as he struggled against the pain and weariness to regain his footing and run. I nearly killed Lian. The tears blinded him, as he broke free from the forest wall heading for the enormous fence that separated the massive grounds of Wayne Manor to the normally lonely roadway.
Bruce had followed Dick with little problem but with much amazement. The young man who could barely lift his fork to eat was leading him a merry chase. He wasn't trying to hide from him that was certain but it was Dick not Robin or Nightwing this time he was following. At first he thought that he might have been sleep walking (running) He often show signs of great strength when he struggled with those memories. But he had seen that look of horror that crossed his face when he recognized what he had done. A look he had seen once before, the day Dicks parents died. It was in fact the first spark of the Old Dick Grayson he had seen in a long time. He cleared the forest just in time to see Dick scale the fence with very little effort he was half way through the clearing before he realized the boy had stopped running and just stood staring as if hypnotized, down the roadway. Bruce was half way up the fence when he realized what his young ward was staring at; Dick's form suddenly became silhouetted by the large headlights of a massive eighteen-wheeler that was barreling at him.
Although Dick began talking in choppy incomplete sentences again he never asked anyone anything; memories would creep into his dreams at night and vanish in the time he would awaken. They tried everything they could think of to help him remember his dreams but it didn't seem to work. Bruce even took him to Haly's circus in hope that that his most loved memories as well as the most tragic memories of his life would ignite the fire that used to burn in his sons eyes, but it didn't work. His only real memories were of the boy in his dreams the Vision of the bat and the picture of the angel that he found while stranded, but now he just had no clue what the memory meant. As the nightmare became more constant he seemed to be coming more and more despondent.
Nights were becoming more difficult as Dick fought the need to sleep. Against all that Bruce believed, he finally agreed to use medications to induce sleep. It was added to his food or drink and he was not left alone. Once he fell asleep. Leslie and Alfred Barbara and even Tim took turns watching over him. But just as Bruce had feared the Dick was withdrawing. His one word sentences, gone even his smile was gone. He was becoming more introverted as the dreams were becoming more vivid. Sometimes the dreams were so real he would awaken with bruises that had not been there the night before. The walks were happening less only because the meds where working. But on occasion he would get up and wander down the stairs and out the door. But they were always to the same places. if the dreams were mild he would end up in the garden.
Any time he came on to the grounds he was met by Ace, one of the guard dogs, she would wander with him and sometimes it was as if Dick knew she was there. Who ever was sitting with him that night would fallow closely but only Ace would guide him if he seemed to wander someplace where he might be hurt, she would push him away from the trouble by blocking his movements with her body... and until he awoke or someone carried him in the house she never left his side. Sometimes the walks would lead to the Cemetery on the grounds he always went to the same spot on the far side of the hallowed grounds by a beautiful Oak tree that over looked the Bluff and guarded one isolated headstone that held two names the grave of his parents John and Mary Grayson. He didn't seem to pay any attention to the headstones them selves just the spot. This is why Bruce was certain that the dreams were no longer dreams but memories. He recognized some of the dreams by the boy's cries. Just as mother or father would know whether their infant was hungry or just tired by the way it cried. It was a sad reality to the life that he and his son shared. Leslie on the other hand was not ready for the pain the memories brought. She watched night after night as Dick became less social. His withdraw was becoming a physical problem as well. To keep from falling asleep he would walk until he could no longer move, and no one was eating a proper meal. Dark circles became an obvious feature of everyone in the house. Sleep was done in shifts and the medication they had given him to help him sleep was becoming more necessary as the young man fought the urge to close his eyes even to blink. But for the first time Leslie saw the reason he was fighting the needed rest. She had been there when he finally closed his eyes. She had spent many a night trying to ease him through his unfruitful sleep but any more his tears started even before the sleep came. Leslie listened, as the young man seemed to struggle with the return of another nightmare. Standing next to his bed she wiped the sweat from his brow. He wrestled for what seem to be an hour, and then slumped back into his bed. It wasn't long before his subtle grunts began to sound as if he was actually being hit. She tried talking to him but there was no response. Then after a few more minutes of silence he Dick cried out. In all her years of medicine she had never heard such anguish and true pain. He was no longer remembering this dream he was reliving it. The screaming stopped. Whatever Dick was experiencing had him arched nearly off the bed. Leslie screamed out in horror. But even that didn't break the sequence that the young boy was experiencing. She struggled to hold his convulsing body down but he seemed to have the strength of a bull, his body arched as if his hands and feet were tied. His mouth open but no sound was made. Alfred came running in the room just as Dick collapsed back into the soft cushions of his bed. Dick's eyes were open but empty his breath-labored, blood began to trickle from his nose and mouth. As Leslie quickly attempted to assess the young man she realized she was shaking and she couldn't stop the tears from falling and nothing she was doing was helping the young man whom she considered one of her own. Alfred tried to comfort her but she broke free from his embrace and ran off. This was his fault. This was her fault. this wasn't the first time she was made aware of the depths her boys sacrifices. But it was the first time she had experienced it, and she hated it.
Roy had finally gotten permission to bring Lian to visit after spending most of the day with him. Dick just sat in the garden. His sentences seem to consist of no more than two words. And most of them were aimed at the dog, which was allowed to follow him around. He had even stopped talking to Barbara, Tim and Bruce. It was like talking to an oversized child. Yes, no, please and thank you, were the major words in his vocabulary. If he chose to talk at all. His actions and his word were more and more child like. Medication had made him listless and despite the need to fight sleep he could no longer walk any farther than the garden. Roy spent a long time with his daughter trying to explain that the man she new as Uncle Dick or Nightwing was no longer there. That he was trapped inside himself. She didn't care she wanted to see her uncle Dick. His argument to Bruce was simple. If for no other reason than to give him another child to associate with. He got his permission and told them he would have a room prepared for them. Bruce wanted Leslie to speak with her before they let her visit. If she OK'd it they could try this experiment more in-depth in the morning. At this point it didn't matter Bruce had lost all hope of having his son back.
When he returned that evening he had explained to his daughter, as much as you could explain to a 4 year old, the problems that her Uncle Dick was having. She was just happy she was finally going to get to see him. Alfred met them at the door when they got there he told them that Dinner would be ready in a few minutes But he had to tend to Master Dick so if they would like to wait in the den they could Dick had fallen asleep on the chair in the den. Alfred had not realized his young charge had wandered from his room and fallen a sleep when he told them to go on into the den he would bring refreshments. "Unca Dick!" Lian announced brightly as she busted through the large door. The sound startled the sleeping man. His movements so quick that his actions came with out thought he reached out grabbing the blur that appeared in front of him and tossed her over his shoulder. Luckily Bruce had just appeared from the 'cave' when they came into the den he caught the frightened child just before she went through the glass door to the patio. The child quickly wrapped her arms around the big man who held her. Roy was still in the door way unsure what just happened. He couldn't remember feeling so helpless. Even his voice left him his first instincts were to kill his best friend, but he knew that wasn't Dick's fault really. "Oh God, forgive me." Dick cried, his voice as shaky as his legs. It was Dick Grayson that said those words not the Child that they had come to see as of late but the young man. Bruce gently carried the frightened child to her father. Trying to break through the look of shear horror that grabbed Dick. He realized what he had done. Bruce was certain that Dick was living his nightmares again. "Oh God, forgive me." "It's ok, son. Bruce whispered in the only voice that seemed to penetrate his fears. "She's fine." "Oh, God. Please for give me," He stumbled as he backed towards the doors to the patio he nearly tossed the child thru. "I am so sorry. Oh God. He fumbled with the doorknob. " Oh, God, Roy I would never hurt Lian. Oh God." still fumbling with the doorknob till it open then ran out the door. "Roy I have to go find him before he gets hurt." Roy reached over to the child who quickly reached for her father's neck. "It's ok baby, he didn't mean to hurt you honey." "I know he was scared." She smiled behind the tears. "Me too." "Me three." Roy whispered as they watched Bruce run out into the night. "Daddy? You said the unca Dick wouldn't recognized me." "That's right sweet heart, he hasn't regained his memory yet. It may take a long time. He may never remember us." "But daddy if he don't rememmer me how come he knew my name?" Dick ran through the wooded vale he seem to pay no mind to the branches that continued to punish him for braking through their fortification. His mind reeled back to a greater pain and the only way to relieve himself from it was to give in or give up "Hail Brother Blood....Hail...NO! HELL NO!." The pain of the memories kept flashing in his head. Twice they became so vivid that he fell to his knees his mind flooded with the pain and sorrow he felt... he caused... It was his fault he was to blame. There were only two ways to cleanse him self of the all that he saw. His body collapsed to the ground from the intense pain began to relive. The torturous times he had fallen pray to that mad man and because of him he nearly killed his friends and now ... Roy forgive me. he thought, as he struggled against the pain and weariness to regain his footing and run. I nearly killed Lian. The tears blinded him, as he broke free from the forest wall heading for the enormous fence that separated the massive grounds of Wayne Manor to the normally lonely roadway.
Bruce had followed Dick with little problem but with much amazement. The young man who could barely lift his fork to eat was leading him a merry chase. He wasn't trying to hide from him that was certain but it was Dick not Robin or Nightwing this time he was following. At first he thought that he might have been sleep walking (running) He often show signs of great strength when he struggled with those memories. But he had seen that look of horror that crossed his face when he recognized what he had done. A look he had seen once before, the day Dicks parents died. It was in fact the first spark of the Old Dick Grayson he had seen in a long time. He cleared the forest just in time to see Dick scale the fence with very little effort he was half way through the clearing before he realized the boy had stopped running and just stood staring as if hypnotized, down the roadway. Bruce was half way up the fence when he realized what his young ward was staring at; Dick's form suddenly became silhouetted by the large headlights of a massive eighteen-wheeler that was barreling at him.