Chapter Eleven
Carol picked her way across the ledge but kept stopping to lean against the rock and blink tears out of her eyes. She felt like an idiot but she really hadn't meant it the way he had taken it. He was hurting and she had just wanted him to know that even though he had lost a few, there were still others he needed to hang on to. It was more than she had at the moment.
The thought of hurting him even more had her throat feeling like it was going to close up. And there was a child in there that was going to wake up to the news that both of his parents were gone. She didn't want to go into the cabin. She didn't know his brother. She didn't know any of them. The only person that she knew was Daryl and Daryl had wanted her to go. It was strange that she felt so alone after being around him for only a day. Like, without him around, she had nothing left in the world.
One day wasn't long to know another person. Not at all. But a day like the one they had shared, left it's mark. She felt like they shared a bond because the moment their whole world came to an abrupt halt, it was just the two of them standing there to watch it. Things like that worked like a welder, fusing two people in a way that nothing else could.
Well, she felt that way. Maybe he didn't. He did have most of his family back after all. People that he had shared a life with. People that he shared blood with. What was one stupid timid woman that he barely knew compared to that? Maybe he was even resentful that she would be the reason that his family would step right back out into danger. He had promised to help her find her daughter. What if he was having second thoughts?
She needed to stop over thinking everything because despite his anger, he was a good man and she believed that, one day or not, he cared about her enough to want to help her find the girl. She needed to just go to the cabin, properly introduce herself to Daryl's brother and then maybe get a little rest before she thought about going back to what was left of Atlanta to search for her daughter. She slowed her pace, forcing tears back because she didn't want Merle seeing them. She still didn't know how to take the man, even with just their brief interactions.
"Hey!"
She turned, surprised to see that Daryl was strolling towards her. She stood there, unsure what to do now. She didn't think that he had had enough time to get over his anger. She remembered when Ed would get that angry she had to tiptoe around him for days.
He stopped a few feet away, seeming unsure how to proceed now. He didn't look angry anymore so that was something anyway. Now he just looked sad. It tugged at her heart painfully. She hated seeing other people hurt. It always made her feel like she needed to try to do something to make things better. She had received little comfort throughout her whole life and instead of turning her cold, it only made her more compassionate.
Without telling them to move, her feet closed the distance until they were only a few inches apart. He was watching her closely, like an animal that wasn't sure what was about to happen. He had gone out of his way for her since the moment they met. The least she could do now was try to sooth some of that turbulence in his eyes, but she simply wasn't sure how. Everything she said seemed to come out the wrong way. Before she could think of what he may or may not do, she hugged him. It was a stupid move, considering how upset she had made him and if he shoved her away it wouldn't have surprised her very much.
His body went so still that for a second it was like her arms may have been wrapped around the neck of a cement statue. He didn't even dare breathe. She had made a horrible mistake and she was about to step away and apologize but then the unexpected happened. He actually started to thaw out. Reluctantly one arm went around her, his hand resting at the small of her back. He cleared his throat, swallowed thickly and then the other went around her too. She tightened her hold on him when he tightened his and she could feel the desperate pounding of his heart keeping pace with her own.
"The fuck is this for?" He grumbled.
"I'm apologizing. I didn't mean for it to sound like that and I'm so sorry if it did. I understand why you would think I was trying to downplay what happened but I wasn't."
He didn't say anything for a while but he didn't loosen his hold on her either and this surprised her. It felt nice and she realized that she needed this. Just the feel of another live human being against her after everything that had happened and it suddenly occurred to her that after everything he had been through so far, maybe he felt the same way. But all to soon it was over and he was stepping away from her, ducking his head and not meeting her eyes. Was he blushing?
"I best get in there and get this over with." he said, his voice still gruff but softer somehow.
She nodded. "I think I'll stay out here. I'm not a part of this."
He met her eyes then and the look was strange and intense. "Actually from here on out, whatever happens here, you're a part of it."
She wrapped her arms around her middle and offered a half hearted smile. She hadn't even known she needed to hear him say something like that until the words were out of his mouth. "I just think it would be better if it was just your family in there."
"If that's what you want," he said, stepping past her. He took a few steps and then stopped, turning to face her again and taking a deep breath. "I shouldn't have gotten so fuckin' pissed off. You didn't do anything wrong back there. I just..." his voice trailed off and he looked away.
She nodded, smiling slightly at his awkward apology but grateful that he had offered her one at all. "I know."
She watched him walk away and then she made her way to a bench that was nestled between two trees. She sat down and took in the land around her. It was very different than the land that she was used to. She wasn't in Georgia anymore, that was for sure. She watched the door to the cabin, her heart dropping when it opened. She felt so sorry for the boy inside.
She shook her head when she saw a girl step out onto the porch. She wasn't that close to the cabin and from this distance, who must have been Daryl's niece, was a dead ringer for Sophia. Either that, or she was seeing things. This was a cruel play of light. This was a dagger through her that couldn't be dislodged because she didn't think she was going to find her daughter. She looked away.
"Mom?"
She closed her eyes, willing the voice away. How was she hearing it so clearly? Was she just tired? Had the events that had unfolded since the day before actually snapped her grasp on reality?
"Mom!"
She looked up and watched as the girl ran towards her. She stood up, her knees going a little weak right before her daughter, not some other girl, threw herself into her arms. Carol was so stunned that she couldn't move at first. She couldn't even take in a breath. How could this be happening? How was Sophia here, of all places?
"What are you doing here?" Sophia asked, finally pulling away so she could look at her.
Carol struggled to find her voice but suddenly she was telling her daughter everything. She explained about speeding to the school to find her and about running the stop sign and the small accident. She told her about Fort Benning and then her reluctant agreement to come here before she went back out to look for her. She was almost sobbing once she was finished and then she was ready to hear what could have possibly happened that Sophia would end up on a mountain in Tennessee.
"They were evacuating the school and everyone was shoving everyone. I ended up on the floor and some guy tripped over me and then just grabbed my hand and dragged me off to this room. We stole a bus but we didn't have a choice."
"Daryl's cousin tripped over you?" Carol asked, unable to believe this was actually happening.
Sophia nodded. "Yes. And his uncle is the one that hit you with his truck?"
"Yes," Carol said, shaking her head.
"How can something like this... what are the odds?" Sophia asked.
Carol just shook her head. The odds of this being real were so slim and yet there her daughter stood. Sophia told her about their trip up here and how Damon had actually had no choice but to run the monsters down on more than one occasion.
Both of them looked up when the door to the cabin swung open so hard that it crashed against the wall and a guy stormed out. He was tall, dark skinned and had black hair that fell past his shoulders, obscuring his face. He jumped down from the steps and then stormed off into the trees.
"That's weird. Where could Damon be going?"
That broke through the joy that had consumed Carol and her heart sank. "His parents didn't make it. Merle and Daryl must have just told him. That poor boy," she muttered, staring off at the spot in the trees where he had disappeared.
"What?" Sophia gasped, stepping back.
Carol watched Sophia stare after the boy worriedly.
"Mom, maybe I should..."
"Be careful. Keep your eyes open and stay with him, okay? I'm going to warn you though. Dixons aren't easy to talk to when they're upset about something."
Sophia nodded and hugged her quickly. "I'm so glad you're here. I was so worried about you."
Carol smiled and pushed her away gently. "I know the feeling. Now go, before he gets too far ahead of you."
~H~
Sophia found him quickly because he wasn't trying to be quiet as he tore through the woods. He was bigger than her and could cover more ground but she just figured she would catch up with him eventually. He had to stop sometime. They were still tired from the long night since they had only slept for a few hours.
When she found him he was sitting on the ground, his back to a fallen log and his long legs pulled up. The knuckles of one hand were bloody, his dark brown eyes were red rimmed but dry. She remembered her mother's warning and found herself wishing she had just let him be alone.
"I'm really sorry about your parents," she said, sitting down next to him.
He didn't say anything. He didn't even glance at her. He just sat there staring off into space for a while. Eventually he shrugged. "Guess I'm lucky I still got Daryl and Merle. Maybe if I woulda been as die hard about getting to my parents as you they might have had a chance. All I had been thinking about was getting out of the city."
"You did the right thing," she said, pulling her knees up and leaning heavily into the log. "It was all so crazy. If you had tried to get to them we probably never would have made it here. We could have gotten stuck there in the city."
"Yeah, maybe. You don't understand though... My dad." His voice trailed off and she waited him out. "If we made it, it just don't make any sense why they didn't. He's strong. They're both strong. A hell of a lot stronger than us. And..." his voice trailed off and he shook his head like he was shaking his thoughts.
"What?" she pressed gently, not wanting him to think he had to keep anything from her.
"I should feel like they're gone, you know. I mean, we were closer than most families and I feel like I should... I should feel it, you know? I should feel something."
"What do you mean?" she asked, studying his face.
He glanced down at her, his expression one of frustration and pain. "I don't feel like they're gone. I'd feel it, I know I would, but I don't feel it."
She didn't know what to say to that so she simply sat with him.
He was so quiet after that and she was starting to think that he really did just want to be alone with his thoughts. She was about to get up to head back to the cabin. He probably needed time to wrap his head around everything that had happened. She was too quick to think that he would want company. He surprised her when he grabbed her wrist, keeping her right where she was. "Stay," he muttered, his voice rough.
She nodded and leaned back against the log.
"Who was that woman you were talking to?" He asked.
She hesitated, not wanting to tell him that she got her mom back when he only just now got the news that his own parents were dead. But he had asked her and she couldn't just ignore the question. She cleared her throat and wrapped her arms around her knees. "My mom."
He looked over sharply. "No shit?"
She shook her head. "I know. I didn't believe it myself. She was on her way to the school and your cousin hit her with his truck. She ran a stop sign. It messed our car up so Daryl gave her a lift."
"That's fucked up. I'm happy you got your mom back."
She nodded. "So am I. But I feel even worse now about what happened."
He shrugged. "Just cause I won't see mine again don't mean I ain't happy that you get to have yours."
Her eyes teared up at that. Even though he didn't look like one, he was a really sweet guy. She wiped her eyes quickly, feeling stupid. Out of the two of them he should be the one crying, not her. He sighed and then surprised her when his good hand gripped hers. They sat like that for a long time, neither one of them saying a word. There really wasn't anything for them to say.