Revised – 13 September 2009
Chapter 11
Now that he had been reunited with his friends Harry's days seem to go a lot quicker. He was glad to be back with them – gladder than he could say. True there was less to do options wise than there had been at Hogwarts but he was over all pleased he had made the decision to come. It was easier to be with those who knew him well as oppose to someone who had to get to know the real him. He hadn't realised how much he enjoyed comfortable company till he had returned.
For the life of him though, he felt foolish for not trusting Ron. He should have. They had over the years been through so much together. They were best friends. The very best of friends. He had been wrong to shut him out. He knew he was never going to make the same mistake twice, especially that one. Sirius was a huge comfort as well. The two of them often sat down for chats in the afternoon, after everything that had gone on. They had to talk it through. Harry didn't want it hanging over him like a black cloud and he didn't want it to fester and embitter him. By talking it through he found he was able to realise the pain. And he was able to talk to his godfather in a way he was unable to talk to any other.
As for Severus, he often popped in to check on his son every other day. He cared – in his own fashion.
Mrs Weasley often offered him tea every day he had come over but he declined wishing only to see his son. Severus and Sirius were fighting worse than ever. Sirius did not wish to believe Lily had betrayed James in such a way. He thought back to the girl he had known. She had been kind and loyal. He hadn't thought she was the type to betray her husband. Yet she had, her child was living proof of that fact. And he was going to have to come to terms with that.
Also Severus still disliked his son's friends, the only one he could stand being Hermione. His tolerance for her was only down to the way she had been so supportive of them over the summer. She, it seemed, earned his admiration at long last. He could not look at her as just a mudblood and a know it all any longer.
On the last Friday until term begun Severus came not for an Order meeting but a rather serious talk with his son over what was going to happen when he returned to school. Were they going to tell everyone? One thing was for sure. They had to get their story straight. If there was going to be one.
"Well I don't know I just - I dunno. What do you think?" Harry shrugged. He had of course given it thought, but he had been unable to come up with a solid conclusion on what the right thing to do would were so complicated – for the both of them.
"I think for now it is for the best if we did not divulge our secret to the rest of the school. For you to remain a Potter."
Harry had to say he that was fine with him. He did not wish to give his fellow class mates another reason to stare at him. For once, it would be nice to have a break from the staring. He didn't think for a moment he was going to get that. But he would get more peace as a Potter than a Snape. And he had always been Harry Potter, even before he knew that name had significance to wizards everywhere. So Harry Potter he would remain.
"But there are going to be changes. You can come to my - our quarters whenever you wish," Harry was glad. This meant he was still going to have time to bond with him. And do so in private. He wanted to see him.
"So to the face of the school nothing changes."
"No." Severus replied. "Only behind closed doors do things change."
Harry smiled. Class was going to be fun.
"That's for the best." he agreed.
"I am glad you think so. Now how do you feel, I trust you are being well looked after?" He knew he would be, surrounding by the Order, but he had to check. It was the responsible, parental thing to do.
"Of course he is," growled Sirius from the door having heard their voices from the landing.
"Good," sneered his father at his old enemy.
"Please don't fight." pleaded Harry. He didn't want them at one another's throats. They were both important to him now. He needed them both on the same side. His side.
"As if we would," was his father's response to him. Severus' voice dripped sarcasm. "You will be ok getting the train back?" Snape checked, sensing it was time for him to go. He did not want to give his son special treatment but if he would rather return to school earlier by other means to have time in their room he would allow it, he thought. Just this once.
"No, I am going to be ok to get on the train with Ron and Hermione." he said to him. He wanted to stay with his friends. They kept some degree of normality in his life. For that, he was sure to be eternally grateful.
"Very well then l shall see you on your return to school."
"Are you going to come by again before school restarts?" he asked.
He realized he was asking with hope in his voice. But Severus' face remained quite controlled.
"I doubt it; I have much to do back at school, work and preparations. I shall see you on your return."
"Oh, ok." said Harry.
He should have known that was going to be his reaction. After all he had spent much of the time he would have been working with him over summer. He had lessons to plan and other things to do. Harry understood. He did.
Harry looked at his godfather and could not decide whether or not that answer had Sirius or not. Snape had made himself look bad in Blacks eyes and yet he had pained his son. He hadn't meant too, but there was more to his life than being a father. He was too elfish for his life to revolve about the boy...yet.
"Then I shall see you next week."
"Yes."
It was a strange sensation of longing to be held at that moment that Harry felt. If he had been told a year ago he wanted Snape to hold him, then he would have thought the person telling him was nuts but he did. He felt vulnerable.
Sirius protectively came and put a hand on his shoulder.
"Well then bye Snape!" he said to the man he loathed. He didn't have long left with Harry and he wanted him to himself.
Severus nodded. Giving his son a wink, he walked from the room, fighting his own need to hold him.
"You ok mate?" asked Sirius as soon as he was gone.
"Yeah. I just can't get used to all of this. It is so weird." Harry said to him.
There was so much going on in his head.
"I think that is to be expected."
Looking at one another, Harry knew they were both still trying to make sense of it all. He was glad his godfather had decided to stand by him. If he had left him then he didn't know what he would have done. There was still a chance he might lose Ron if he and Hermione…
"Why can't life be simple?"
"I don't know. It isn't fair that one so young ad you should have had to suffer so much. If I could stop it, you know I would don't you?" he checked.
Harry nodded.
Turning Harry about in his arms he embraced the boy, kissing his forehead, curing the lads need for affection momentarily. For a second, he wished he still thought he was James's. That way he was still the boy he had met two years earlier. He didn't look so like his lost best friend now. More like his enemy. His hair was longer and his skin paler. And yet he still had his green eyes. Lily's eyes. The whore, he thought to himself, shaking his head. He didn't know if he could forgive her. that was a battle he yet had to face.
"I know you would. But you can't." he said as he pulled back
Sirius nodded. He had known it was a pointless thing to say. But it had been the truth. At least Harry knew how he felt about him.
"DINNER, COME ON DOWN TO THE KITCHEN!"
"I think Molly is done cooking."
Smiling Harry laughed. Apparently so.
The two of them went down stairs. What ever happened in the future, for that night they were safe. That was a good feeling.
-
Hermione and Ron had been chosen to be prefects. Harry had not. After all he had done for the schoo,l he had not been seen as worthy to be perfect. This got to him.
He wasn't going to let it show though. And besides, he probably had enough on his plate.
The few remaining days flew by and before he knew it Harry was packing to go back. He was sad to leave Sirius but was looking forward to his father, even if he couldn't really show it in front of the school. His was a life of swings and roundabouts.
"Do you think he is going to lay off the Gryffindor's in class now?" Ron asked Harry as they packed up.
He hadn't really thought about it.
"No."
If anything he was probably going to harder on them to carry on like 'normal'. He was going to want to keep the show up Harry assumed.
What was that anymore? 'Normal.'
Hermione and Ginny popped there head about the door and said good night.
"We'll see you in the morning," said Ginny as she walked off to their room.
Hermione came in for a minute.
"So are you two ready?"
"Yes mum." teased Ron.
She rolled her eyes and turned to Harry. "You ready?"
"Again, yes mum." he said.
They caught one another eyes for a minute before she turned and walked out the door. She had been a rock for him that summer. And she meant more to him than she ever had before.
When Harry got in to bed that evening his head was full of unusually peaceful dreams. For that night at least he was going to have some rest. And by the next night he was going to be home at Hogwarts. What could be sweeter?