Ages:
Frerin-5 Fien- 3 Gideon- 6 months Kien- 2.5 Tauris- newborn Orian- 8 months
"Oh Tauriel…" I smiled. "He's beautiful."
"Thank you." Tauriel was beaming, but never taking her eyes off the little, pointy-eared newborn in her arms.
"Just like his mother." Kili was smiling too. He gently stroked the soft hair on the baby's head. It was fiery and red, like Tauriel's. His ears were pointer too, more than Kien's even.
"Have you named him yet?" Fili asked.
"Tauris." Kili nodded. "We thought it would be something with a 'K', but he looks so much like her, it suits him."
Kien was grinning too, admiring his little brother. "Can I hold him Naneth? Please …?"
Tauriel nodded and Kien sat himself on the bed next to her. Young Tauris, who was at this moment mostly lost in his swaddling blankets, was carefully placed in Kien's arms. Tauriel kept her hand under his head, supporting it. "Be gentle." She reminded her first son. Kien nodded that he would and sat very, very still.
"I like his toes." Fien said, observationally, looking at Tauris's tiny feet. "They're so small."
"Another grandchild for me…" Dis sighed happily. "As well as another extended nephew for you Thorin." The brooding king under the mountain had scoffed when news of Tauriel's pregnancy had come out (with the usual joy hidden in his eyes too, of course). Thorin had said we would soon have more children than we could handle. But now that the little red-haired dwelfling had arrived at last, he was all smiles and pride.
"He arrived not a moment too soon." I said. "Our visitors for the summer will be arriving soon."
Hana smiled at that news as well. She loved it here in Erebor, with her sweet little family, but she did miss her outgoing brother every now and then.
Even Varis was missed by us, in an odd sort of way. She was did not like to be argued with, usually had some snappy remark, and there was little room in her heart for softness. But it was that little room that held onto a nicer side of her that made her so tolerable, along with her fierceness, and her bold heart, which was surely admirable. We liked Thorin (temper, grumpiness and all) for much of the same reasons.
Tauris began to fuss and move in Kien's hold. Kien began to look worried. "Naneth…" He said, with some alarm. Tauriel smirked at his slight distress over the infant and took Tauris back into her hold, relieving Kien of his duty.
After another half hour of admiring our sweet new nephew I finally managed to pull the boys and Fili away with just enough time to get everyone ready for the day before the soon arriving guests made it to our door. I smiled as Frerin and Fien walked comfortably down the halls of Erebor in their nightshirts. Gideon was smiling on my hip. He was as pleased with the newest addition to our family as we were.
"Get dressed." I said to Frerin, who was old enough to complete the task nice and quickly. "Help Fien. Make sure he doesn't take all morning."
I looked at the clock. "Oh! Be quick about it too, we have fifteen minutes!" Ander was always very punctual.
I dashed into mine and Fili's room, quickly getting out of the old dress I had chosen to wear while I was at Tauriel's side. Gideon was placed on the bed where he rolled around on the blankets happily, laughing lightly at me as I changed clothes. I was in a rush and nearly tripping over the fabric. No doubt it looked humorous.
"You're next." I replied to his laughter. I finished dressing just as Fili came in and peeled off his tunic. I grabbed Gideon to get him out of his nightshirt, but paused for a moment to admire the view, so to speak.
Fili caught me at it and laughed. "I thought we were pressed for time."
"Well…not that much." I grinned back. Gideon began to babble and coo, alerting me that time was indeed passing and we would soon have company to welcome. I had to leave Fili to his own devices and quickly dress him.
"Arms up." I said, stripping off the nightshirt to replace it with a little tunic. Gideon obeyed. I glanced over his sweet little body. He'd been skinny for a time. His small appetite had probably been responsible for it. Now he had moved onward to real food, and had gained the weight that he needed. Now he had an adorable round little belly like he should. I tickled him at his sides and he laughed loudly, plopping backwards. I continued my little assault and dipped my head down, blowing a burst of air onto his stomach, which had him squealing with delight.
What was it about my family that distracted me so? I used to be so good about keeping things running smoothly, even when I had Frerin. True, Fien had been…a disturbance (though in many ways a welcome one). His never ending antics kept me on my feet. Thank Navestal and Mahal Gideon was so easy going and quiet. They all captured my attention, for they never stopped growing or smiling or finding something new.
And then Fili would do something like take his shirt off and there was simply no ignoring that.
Ah yes, I should be so occupied with them, watching and adoring, always. They grew too fast. It seemed like not too long ago it had been just Fili and I in this home and then there had been those lovely years with Frerin as an only child to enjoy. He still was as well behaved as ever, I thought to myself. Those days had given way to these, and each one seemed to pass with remarkable speed. When had the boys become so tall?
"Amad when is company coming?" Frerin asked from in the kitchen.
"They said by eleven." I called back. "What time is it now?"
"It will be eleven in two minutes." Frerin replied.
"Then we better hurry." I shouted, quickly placing Gideon in his clothes and herding everyone outside.
Despite every attempt to arrive on time, when we finally arrived at the gate the two nymphs were already there. Thankfully Hana had been more watchful of the clock than us and had come down to welcome her brother and kin. Ander had his usual smile on his face, and Varis, even after all these years sported the same white fur cloak of that fierce warg.
"Your majesties." Ander bowed, as he usually did, to my sons. "Sire, milady." He nodded respectively at us, giving a second small bow.
"Ander." I embraced him kindly. "And Varis." I bowed before her. She may not be royalty in the strictest definition, but respect was highly valued by her. "It is good to see you came as well."
"Thank you." Varis said, diplomatically, bowing as well.
Fien was gazing over her cloak with curiosity. "Was that a real wolf?" He asked.
"It was not a wolf. It was a warg." Varis corrected. Her voice held no venom. She may have been irritable with us, but with children she was surprisingly tolerable. Not doting in any way, but neutral.
Ander on the other hand was certainly doting. He had already scooped up his young nephew. "He's grown since last I came." He smiled. "Look at him Varis, my nephew…the friend of princes."
Varis rolled her eyes at him. Her stiffness often made her unappealing to have as a friend, yet Ander thought of her as one. Perhaps it was the seemingly endless opportunities to get a rise out of her that persuaded him. Either way, our small circle was one she must have regarded as her closest friendships.
"After you've settled into your rooms," I spoke to her. "I would very much enjoy it if we could spar again."
She smiled at that. Perhaps this why I was so fond of her. I knew few other ladies who knew how to fight (Hana, for example, had never touched a blade in her life) and fight well. This often left most of usual sparring partners to be men, predominantly those dear dwarves from our old company. Dwalin was still able to knock me off my feet after all this time. Tauriel was the only lady I would fight against, but archery had always been her favorite, so I more often called on her more for hunting than training with a blade. Varis was, in this respect, my only rival.
I briefly wondered if I should have lost my interest for sword fighting when I became a mother. True, it wasn't something one would normally see their mother doing. But it was part of who I was, and it was a skill I hoped I would never lose.
Old habits died hard, I supposed.
Varis and I were soon back to where we usually were. My children sat on the side of the arena, Frerin holding Gideon close.
"So…" I said, pausing the conversation to block an overhead attack, "…how is the South?"
"Well…considering all things." Varis replied.
"What sort of things?" I asked, concerned. The Southern tribe was as fierce as Varis, and I had a feeling any disorder could not be overlooked.
"It appears I have an opposition." Varis said, her tone not pleased.
I paused again to deliver an offensive move to her side, which she caught. Damn! It had looked like I was about to get her that time too. "Someone else is looking for the leadership of your tribe? Varis…if it is that important you did not need to come visiting here."
"I said I had opposition, I did not say it was a strong opposition. It's nothing I can't handle."
"That is good to hear." I concluded. Our swords clashed against one another a few times, as we tried to shove each other to the side. "It is also nice to hear that you missed us." I smirked.
"When did I say that?" Varis made an impressive move and I had to duck to avoid her.
"You came, that action speaks for itself." I smiled. "I know if you hated to come than you wouldn't have."
Varis sighed, continuing the spar. "You've gotten stronger." She said.
"Thank you." I replied, practically laughing as I added "I think it's because I've been holding so many babies all the time. They're not exactly light as feathers you know. My arms have probably gotten stronger."
Varis nodded over to my children. "I imagine so."
"They will probably want to hear the story of the White Warg." I added, becoming a little breathless with constant movements. "They absolutely love the tales of our travels to the Lonely Mountain. Would you be so kind?"
"I may find some time for it." Varis said.
"I'm rather surprised by you right now." I admitted. "You see to be in uncannily good spirits."
"I always am when I am fighting." Varis smirked. "I think it clears my head."
"Mine too." I huffed out a great breath. "Enough Varis. I can't keep up with you. I spent half the night up with Tauriel. She gave birth last night."
Varis lowered her blade and walked back to her belt which she had laid down in the sand. "I heard the news." She said as she slung the weapon over her shoulder. "I thought she could not have any more children?"
"So did we." I smiled. "Tauris is really a miracle, just like his brother. " I was beaming ear to ear as I went over to my children.
"You didn't win…" Fien frowned a little at me.
"No. They just stopped. Like when she fights with Adad." Frerin corrected him.
"Yes. I'm quite tired after the night I had with your aunt." I explained. "Forgive me if my stamina is not what it usually is."
"Stamina?" Fien asked.
"Energy, darling." I translated for him.
"When can I learn to fight with a sword?" Frerin asked.
"You haven't taught him yet?" Varis asked, a little surprised.
I shot her a look. Frerin was still young. Any formal training with weapons would not be for a few more years. "If you keep growing at this rate, it won't be long." I smiled. "For now, you can practise tying those knots I taught you. The one's for snares. You remember them?"
"Of course." Frerin replied. He practised them regularly. Sometimes he was able to untie them as I had done, other times we had to cut the string free.
Gideon yawned sleepily from Frerin's lap. "I think he's tired. He was up earlier than usual, given last night's events." I said to Varis. "I'll take my leave now. Feel free to seek me out later this evening."
Varis nodded. "Would it be alright if I stayed in this arena? It's relatively private, and I'd like to practice on my own."
"You are the guest here." I nodded. "Do as you wish."
I left her to drills, and watched as my growing children raced each other down the halls.
/
Varis knew she was considered a bit different from other nymphs. Hana for example, the most kind and sweet and gentle. She was in no way like Hana, nor did she desire to be. Rue was braver and had more fight in her. She was fiercely loyal. Yet she too had a softer soul, and a motherly being about her too, now that she had her family. Varis was not like that either. She did not dislike children, but she wasn't particularly fond of them either. She had other goals in mind.
She was brutally tough. You could see it in her body too. She had no soft lines and willowy figure. Her body was honed from battles and training. Strong shoulders, angles and where other ladies might have a flat surface of a stomach, hers had small bumps and ridges, the silhouette of the layer of muscle underneath.
She had to keep herself like this too. Her strength and skill were as important to her as blood or the air in her lungs. They kept her respected by her followers, her men, and that meant she stayed in leadership of her tribe. She had long ago lost her confidence in the old leader. Men thought with only their brawn, and rarely their brains. Or, at least those of her tribe had. It made leadership before shaky. Arguments were common, and battles for power followed them. No. The Southern tribe had needed a leader who's brain was as strong as their body. It needed a female ruler.
She had fought so long and hard to be that ruler. She was still fighting to maintain it, keeping her position unquestioned. It was difficult at times. Some men did not take kindly to women's orders. Large (but surprisingly fragile) ego's, Varis mused. Another reason why the South was better off without a man in power.
There was the slight sound of someone stepping across the sand, and Varis kept up her drills, ignoring the visitor until she heard a blade being drawn, and turned sharply around, meeting the opposing sword in a block. "Ander." She nodded at her friend.
"Varis." He returned the brief greeting. "I knew I would find you here. I did not even bother looking elsewhere for you."
"Am I needed elsewhere?" Varis asked.
"No." Ander shrugged.
"Then you've no reason to interrupt me." Varis frowned. Frowning, she thought, I do that a lot as well. Most men want someone who smiles like Hana does all the time. But you can't have such an overly pleased and happy looking face for people to trust you to lead. They want you to be indifferent, and you must be firm, especially in the South.
"I actually came to join you." Ander said. He then slid the block, and tried to swipe at her, but she was much quicker.
"You should see the new little prince." He said. "Sweet little thing…and his hair is fiery red, like the elf's."
"You know my feelings toward children."
"Exactly, and I know you don't hate them." Ander smirked. "I can see you now, sitting by some fireplace with all the little princes and my nephew gathered round, telling them stories of that Great Battle we had."
"Can you do anything but jest?" Varis snapped. "What happened to Ander, the diplomat who came in the place of his grandmother and parents to our tribe?"
Ander hurried to block her attacks. Whenever she got frustrated or angry her offensive moves became bolder. "Ah, but I am not that serious man right now. It's summer, and my only duty is to visit my sister and friends. Entertain my nephew…" He continued to block her. Despite the fact that Ander did not often fight, he was good at it. He had been trained, just as any man would be. "…so I can poke as much fun at you as I wish." She stabbed the air, dangerously close to his side. Ander drew in a sharp, surprised, intake of breath. "Of course, that may be a rather risky way to pass the time."
Varis smirked. "I'll make sure to aim a little more to the right next time."
"Aha!" Ander pointed his sword at her, taking a few steps back to avoid any attack while he was so exposed. "There it was! That little smile of yours! And you jested right back, I knew you still had it in you, even after this last year."
"I do not jest." Varis protested, advancing on him. Well, she did not do so intentionally. Ander had ways of pulling it out her sometimes.
"You used to though. More often than you do now." Ander sighed, reminiscing as their fight went on. "Back before you had visions of leadership."
"Hardly."
"I suppose…you were a bit cold back then too. Leadership brought more of that out of you." Ander smirked again. "Somewhere in you is still a heart though…"
Did she have a heart? The ever- beating organ in her chest she definitely had. But the metaphorical soft and loving feelings that came with it? Well, those she had never been sure of. In her homeland love was not as open as it was elsewhere. Affections were very private ones.
She had so few friends. Never mind the dozen or so she had now, they were so new to her in the grand scheme of things. It was that absence of such a heart that made her unwanted as a companion by most. She was terrible at receiving affection and probably even worse at returning it. There had only been Ander, who was simply too outgoing and therefore able ignore that in her. He was in that respect, her only companion over the years.
If she had a heart to spend on anyone, it must have been him. He knew this too.
The fight dissolved as Ander lowered his blade and Varis quickly realised what was happening. Again, for the third bloody time…
"Don't surrender just like that." She prompted him to fight again.
"Varis, I know you have a heart in there somewhere still." He said. "I asked for it once, and you denied me. I fought for it the time that followed and you denied me again." He began to sink to his knees in the sand, showing a brief playful smirk.
"Get up." Varis insisted.
"Since neither of those were successful, the only thing I can do now is beg for it." He looked her, with a seriousness he did not often use, in the eye. "Marry me." He stated, quite simply.
"If you know anything about me, you know I would refuse anything from anyone who begs!" Varis snapped.
"Do you love me?"
"I won't marry you."
"Yes, that answer I understood, but do you love me?"
"Ander…" She groaned, nearly infuriated with him.
"Varis, answer the question."
"I don't know…" She was frustrated, and she could barely think when she was this frustrated. "You have always been kind to me."
"Kind?" Ander spit out the word. "You thought that was all I felt for you? A need to be kind? Probably out of pity no less…"
"Probably. I deserved no better, given how unmoving I am." She scowled.
"Undeserving? Look at what you've managed to do in the South."
"By being cold and void."
"You are not always so cold toward me. Sometimes we get along rather well. We fight and make peace and fight and make peace. I was simply thinking that we should marry so we could do that properly." He paused. "Is that why you refuse me? You think you're incapable of love?"
"I don't know what love feels like..." Varis replied.
"Hardly anyone knows how to describe it to begin with." He smiled. "What do you feel for me, if not love?"
"Acceptance." Varis answered. "There's really no need to act so bold or overbearing with you…I don't need to constantly impress you to have my leadership unquestioned."
"And?"
"And I don't feel that from anyone else."
"What if I left, forever?"
"Ander…"
"Just answer the question."
"I'd probably go looking for you."
"Why?"
"I need you. You're the only true friend I have always had." She stared at him. "I suppose, if that is not love, it's the closest thing I have ever felt to it."
"So you do love me." He smiled. Varis nodded.
"I still won't marry you."
Ander looked surprised. "Why not?" He demanded.
"Do I really need to explain everything?"
"I think I deserve some explanation, as I'm on my knees before you right now."
"I will not give up my leadership. I can't leave that to have a life with you in the North. Ander, you know this, I am the only one capable of ruling with any strategy or thought there. If I left, everything I worked for would be lost within a few days. There are Men in the southern lands…Men who allegiances shift with ease. I keep us isolated from them, but who is to say the new leader will?"
"Forget about them."
"I can't Ander, they're breeding war-beasts. Elephants…with plans to make them as big as mountains."
"Let them make a hundred Giant Elephants then." Ander protested. "It will be a world away in the North."
"I wish I could." She smiled, kneeling before him. "Now I believe I do love you. I care deeply for my homeland and you are making me question it. But no…I cannot leave it in that state. I can't have them passing my leadership to you, as you are a man, either. So I cannot marry you. "
She was surprised when he kissed her so suddenly. True, it hadn't been the first time he had done so, but previously it had been fleeting, and often meant as a joke. Now it was far more.
"Then I shall have to go to the South."
Ahhh... l'amour. This update turned out being one that tied in a lot of the things from the epilogue in "Rue'.