Chapter 11

Our lips moved together in a perfect rhythm, it was like that first kiss all over again, sending butterflies all through my body. I tried to pull away, the loss of his lips on mine would've been consolidated with just one look of his flawless face. But instead he pulled me closer. He moved one hand from my cheek, down my neck, across my shoulder, and down my back to stop at the base of my spine, all the while inching my body closer to his.

We were kneeling in front of each other now, the soft bed the flowers had created under my knees stopped me from feeling any pressure against them. His right hand still maintained its position at the small of my back, whilst his left hand continued to gently caress my cheek. My hands were lost in his hair, tangling at the back of his head and the nape of his neck. I would've been happy to spend eternity like this, in this moment, infinite pleasure.

But I wanted more, so much more. The growing bulge that was pressing against my abdomen confirmed that Edward wanted more too, but was my previous rejection too much for him? Would he approach this again, not knowing my current state of mind? Did he still think me too damaged to partake in such intimate activities? I doubted he would even attempt to try, knowing my reaction last time was too much for him to handle.

I knew he wouldn't believe my words, so I would have to show him what I wanted. I pushed against his chest, of course I was not strong enough to move him, but if he knew that I wanted him to move back, he would. He complied and lowered himself to the ground whilst I continued to push against his chest. I felt - in a sense - in control, and the panic I felt last time was nowhere to be found. When his back touched the ground I climbed up his body to straddle him, the butterflies that were once fluttering all around my body had now all focused their energies at the spot between my legs. I needed him.

He moved his hand to stroke my denim covered thighs as I traced patterns on his stomach with my fingertips. This separation was too much to bear, I bent down to reach his lips, crashing against them, this time filled with passion. He deepened the kiss, pushing his tongue into my welcoming mouth, tracing the soft round shape of my lips. My need for him grew. Bravely, I begin grinding my hips against him… The feeling was incredible, but wasn't enough to satiate my need for him. The now prominent bulge I felt pressing between my legs and the moans that I elicited from the man beneath me, told me he was enjoying this just as much as I was.

I continued to grind against him as our tongues danced together, never wanting to stop this perfect and intimate moment. But Edward didn't seem to share my thoughts as he wrapped his hands around my waist a pushed me away from him. Not too much that the contact would be lost, but just enough so that our lips couldn't touch and he was able to speak.

"What's happening right now?" he panted.

"Im showing my boyfriend how much I love him" I answered, hoping to please him.

"You don't have to show me anything, I know how much you love me." He replied. Was this a kind way to reject me, or was he trying to save my feelings from something I might regret? Either way, I wasn't about to let him ruin this moment. He wanted it just as much as me, I knew, and he couldn't deny it.

"I know, but I want this" I stated, maybe a little too definite. "Im okay Edward, I promise. I want this."

He finally saw the truth in my words as he searched my eyes for confirmation. His lips pulled into the sweetest grin as he lowered me onto his chest once again, I relished the contact. More kisses, more grinding, it was pure and utter pleasure. But I needed more. I raised myself to sit straddling him once again, he groaned at the loss. I traced my fingers up and down his stomach once again, the shudder that ran through him told me he enjoyed this. I stopped at the top of his shirt and undid the first two buttons, he looked up at me with a delighted smirk, telling me that this was okay. I continued down his shirt until all the buttons were undone.

I parted his now open shirt to reveal his perfect body beneath me. I traced the planes of his rock hard stomach, his skin glittering in the sun light. He looked even more beautiful in this light, if that were even possible. I rested my hand flat against the bottom of his stomach, feeling the rise and fall of the panted breaths that I had caused, it made me feel powerful, knowing the affect I could have on him. I slid that hand up his stomach and up his chest as I lowered my body onto his once again. My hands were now tangled in his hair again as our lips met for the millionth time. He stroked his hands up my thighs, across my hips, and up to my waist, lifting my shirt as he went. He held his grasp for a moment before grabbing at my shirt and pushing it further up my body, causing me to sit up as he pulled my shirt over my head, leaving me before him in my bra.

He was obviously pleased at the sight before him, this did wonders for my confidence. With him I felt sexy, desirable, he made me feel that way. He glided his hands up my stomach to hold my breasts in his hands, and he began to massage them. I grasped his wrist with one hand and pushed his other hand harder against my breast with my other hand, not wanting him to stop. This touch, it ignited a fire in between my legs, I was aching for him.

Lost in the feel of his hands on me, I didn't notice that he had turned us around until I felt the soft bed of flowers and grass against my back. He was now laid on top of me, in between my legs, and I couldn't help but wrap my legs around his waist, all the time searching for more contact. He began placing delicate kisses on my cheek, my jaw, and my neck, keeping the fire burning inside me. Only stopping for seconds at a time to whisper "I.. want you… to have… the most amazing… experience… let me do that for you?" I answered him with a kiss, a long, and sensual kiss.

He pushed himself away from me, kneeling between my legs, to give himself access to my jeans. He pulled the button from its captive hole and slowly pulled down the zipper, a look of wanting written all over his face. He then proceeded to grasp the material at the top of my jeans and pull them down over my butt, slowly revealing the pink skin of my thighs. It wasn't soon before my jeans where off of my legs completely and lying in a pile with Edward's shirt, leaving me lying beneath him in just my underwear. I was so thankful I had chosen my matching pink bra and panties to wear today.

He lowered himself onto my almost naked body, pressing himself against me slightly, but holding his weight. As our mouths met, his hands begin to explore my body. First my shoulders, my breasts, my stomach, my waist, my hips. His touch leaving behind a burning trail as he moved on to please the next area of skin on my body. When he reached the top of my panties he stopped. Breathing heavily, he looked down at me, searching for confirmation to continue. I responded by raising my hips, pushing my pelvis into him.

Slowly, painfully slow, he continued to push his hand down, underneath my panties. I gasped in pleasure as his hand met my heated centre, and slowly, delicately, he began to rub his hand against me. His touch caused me to moan such noises I never knew I could make. This feeling was amazing, incredible, and set the fire inside me blazing. I thought I was going to burst, I didn't think I could handle anymore. I began to worry, was this going to hurt? Edward wouldn't hurt me intentionally, but what if my body wasn't ready for this?

My fears were put to rest when he slipped his middle finger inside of me, causing new and exquisite sensations, no pain, pure pleasure. His touch had made me so wet, my body wanted this just as much as my mind did, it was silly to ever think that this would hurt, my body made sure it wouldn't. Another round of moans, smothered by his lips against mine. He continued to push his finger in and out of me, pushing me closer to the edge, until he stopped and withdrew his hand. I groaned at the loss, only to be consoled by him pushing two fingers inside of me now, slowly and cautiously, not wanting to cause me any pain.

He stilled his hand for a moment to examine my face, making sure I was comfortable and not in any pain. This was the furthest thing from pain, this was amazing! He began to pulse his fingers in and out of me once again, I moaned and writhed in pleasure as I felt myself building, getting closer towards the edge. I was so close now, I could feel myself tightening around his fingers… and then he did something amazing. With his free hand he pushed down the cup of my bra to fully reveal my breast, before I could register his actions he had taken my erect nipple in his mouth and began sucking and nibbling ever so gently. That was my undoing. I was pushed over the edge as his tongue caressed my nipple and his fingers pushed into me with the perfect amount of pressure. I writhed in ecstasy as I reached my climax, convulsing around his magic fingers.

This feeling, his touch, so many sensations. I was powerless to do anything but let the feel of him take me to places I'd never been before. He continued his pleasurable assault as I rode out my orgasm. My breaths were short pants, my hands were balled into fists, crushing the material of his shirt that I was grasping to keep me grounded. I was finally beginning to fall back to earth, back to Edward. What had just happened? "That… was…. amazing!" I panted, still not fully recovered from my first orgasm. "You, are amazing." He whispered softly.

Edward rested his head on my chest while my breathing calmed, feeling the rise and fall even out into a steady rhythm once again. "Thank you darling" he almost whispered. Thank you? Why was he thanking me, that's crazy.

"Why are you thanking me? I should be thanking you, that was… incredible." I praised.

"Because you trust me" he answered, "I didn't think that you would let me do that for you, but you did. You trusted me not to hurt you."

"I know you would never hurt me, I don't need to trust you to believe that." I corrected him "But I did trust that you would give me something that no one else could. I trusted that you would erase everything that James ever did to me, and replace it with sweet memories of you, and how you make me feel."

"You're so strong, stronger than I am. I don't know how you do it, but I admire you so much." I smiled shyly, pleasantly embarrassed at his admiration. "This isn't it you know, one time with me won't get rid of him." He sighed, regretting his words. "Im sorry, I don't mean to burst your bubble. I just don't want you to be upset when you realise that he still haunts you. What happened to you… I can't imagine the mental scars it has left. I can't read your mind and you refuse to be anything but strong in front of everyone, including me. So all I can do is give you empathy and hope that I can make you better. I promise every day to try, one day he will be gone."

I was silent, taking in his words, bringing me back to reality. I wasn't foolish, I knew it would take a long time to get over James, but with Edward, there wasn't a doubt in my mind that I wouldn't achieve my goal. I had begun to push him away, I didn't want to let him in. I no longer tolerated his flaws, even though he showed me nothing but love for everything that I was. My actions were so ridiculous, I didn't understand them then, and I still don't understand them now. But I do know that I don't want to distance myself from him again, I need him by my side. I was once a complete person, I didn't need anyone, but recent events had changed me and turned me into someone I didn't recognise.

Back in that ballet studio, James took something away from me. Something that now caused me to conceal my thoughts and fears. Something that made me want, and succeed in keeping people out. Maybe I'll eventually figure out what he took from me, but for now I was happy not knowing, as long as Edward was here. He was now the thing that completed me, he replaced whatever I was missing. This new connection felt stronger, unbreakable, and I was certain that he wouldn't leave my side as long as I needed him. I would always need him.

"Im sorry," I said, my voice thick with sincerity "Im sorry I've been so distant, but im here now. That experience may not have got rid of my ghost, but Im certainly seeing things so clearly now. I love you Edward, im here. You brought me back to you."

His answering smile was all I needed to know he understood my words. In this moment, with the love, raw and intense emotion that was between us, there was nothing left to do but loose ourselves in each other.

A/N - So I decided to end the story on a high note, I hope I didn't disapoint. I understand how annoying it is to read a fic and have all this build up, for the end result to be utterly disappointing. So I hope I haven't left you thinking that reading this was a huge waste of your time.

I ended this story earlier than planned because I haven't had a lot of time to write recently and I couldn't bear to have this unfinished and not be updating for weeks at a time.

But stick with me, I have lots more ideas. Not even important exams can keep me away from fanfiction for too long ;) so please stick with me.

Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed this little reaffirmation of Edward and Bella's love xxx