I don't wanna make a habit of answering specific questions on the updates, so if y'all have questions, please log in so I can reply - as I usually don't mind explaining where my headspace is for a certain story, if I failed at expressing the tone properly. But, I did feel it was pretty important to explain, if this was confusing:

Nyota is where she wants to be, because she loves her family. She just would prefer to have them all on the ship, especially after spending time with everyone. A lot of career women find work relaxing & home life stressful. Her stress is speaking, because she has a ton of things to do… and none of them are on the ship that she feels like she belongs on. She's not confused or bitter or regretful. She's simply multifaceted and not all of her joy is wrapped up specifically in her family alone. I don't think that she's the type of person to find her entire identity in her family, yet I think she is the type of person to do what is best, which currently is be with her family.

Hope that makes sense.

The Visit

Spock had been awake before everyone. He did a bit of work before Nyota could catch him, meditated, lit candles all over the quarters, and made breakfast for all with quality tea. When she got up, the children were already started on their day and at the table with him. She furrowed her eyebrows in pleased confusion, "You got everything handled." She almost made a joke about nervous energy, but didn't want to upset him on today.

Years ago, she had accidentally stumbled upon the fact that Amanda's death was around the same time as her birthdate, and been told, "It would be appreciated if you did not pry into the subject of my mother's personal information." She hadn't meant to do that. Honestly, she thought that she was misunderstanding something or that someone accidentally observed Amanda's birth instead of her death, but got the days a little bit mixed up…

Sarek informed her that perhaps around this time of year, Spock's human side was tempted to react to these details and his Vulcan side was trying to keep it under control. "He would most definitely not select to push you away or become secretive with you under normal circumstances."

Presently, she sat at the table and grabbed a plate. Spock said, "Everything is still warm." He sat, with his fingers steepled, but not eating as he watched her fix a plate. "It is a well balanced meal, but I also believe that I have learned to provide the amount of seasonings, which I have observed you utilize without measurements."

She smiled. "It smells delicious. Did you already eat?" He didn't look like he had even bothered.

"I am not hungry," he said. "I was awake before I intended and I have been given a day off, per your request, from working. Spending the time that I would have been working on work towards my family is as good a method of spending time." He lifted a spoon towards Sanaa and she ate.

Styik was eating silently. He already missed having Scotty and Chekov around. Nyota wished that he would make some friends here, but his position on that was that it did not make sense to make friends for a year and that it would take too much energy adapting to Earth's expectations of friendship. She folded her hands and looked around the table. "Everybody seems to like everything." Sytar smiled widely and nodded his head. Sanaa simply batted her eyes at hers and waited for another spoon from Spock.

Nyota pinpointed the location of Amanda's gravestone and programmed it into her device before they ever left and made a run to the garden to select a very large bouquet of flowers. Amaryllis for splendid beauty, which you had, but more importantly - worth beyond beauty. Gladiolus to symbolize strength of character, faithfulness, and honor and signify remembrance. Agrimonia for thankfulness and gratitude, as I could not have the family that I have without you. Flax because I feel your kindness everyday through your living son, Spock, my love. Michaelmas Daisy for farewell...

"Would you like to include oak leaves for bravery? A lot of sympathy flowers include those for crew members?" The clerk asked, interrupting her thoughts on the flowers she had researched and pre-selected before coming to the garden.

Nyota thought for a moment, before answering, "Um… she was brave, but… She wasn't crew. She was on Vulcan and human. An educator and an ambassador's wife… But she lived on Vulcan. She wasn't a visitor."

"You mean Starfleet's Vulcan's human mother? I heard that she helped to make the first universal translator! Well, what about almond leaves… for wisdom?"

Nyota smiled and nodded, "That'll be perfect," she said with tears in her eyes.

The clerk prepared the order and wondering, from her reaction, "Did you know her?"

"I know her son," she replied just as Spock and the children came to the counter. She turned to him, trying to put on her strong face and change the subject, "Did you check out the section set apart for the plants that were found during that expedition?"

"I browsed," Spock said.

The clerk looked up at Spock, observed the children, then understood as she handed the large bouquet to Nyota, "I am deeply sorry. For your loss."

Spock informed her, "All of the lives that were ended that day were done at the hands of the Romulan Nero. There is no need for your sympathy." Nyota handed him the bouquet and began to gather the kids as she lipped both an apology and a thank you to the clerk, on Spock's behalf.

Nyota led her family to the human observatory, with Sanaa tucked into the harness on her chest and Sytar in her arms. When they found the appropriate grave, she said, "Usually, humans just present the flowers on the gravestone. Spock stood for a moment, reading the short report on the stone that just did not encompass the woman who raised him. It spoke of her general relationships, her career prior to marriage and a synopsis of her character. Nyota's flower selections said more about who she was than this stone did. He kneeled and placed the bouquet on the gravestone then stood up, unsure of what he was expected to do next.

Nyota moved closer to him and reached for his hand. She feared that she may have reopened old wounds, bringing him to the place where a stone had been set for his mother's memory, knowing that her body was not among many others who had been given a place in this setting. Nyota said, "I know that you think it is illogical to visit such a place, but she would have loved the flowers, Spock." She pressed her face against his chest and Sytar reached out and touched her cheek, a look of concern on his tiny face. This made her laugh, a little, and Sanaa began to squirm, uncomfortably.

The emotions of the day were probably a lot to handle for her. Spock collected himself on that observance, disconnected the harness from Nyota to place on himself. "This place is made for humans. From the observances, to the flowers, the visits and those that we have witnessed speaking to the stones are all for the benefit of the humans left behind. Today meant more to you than it does to me."

"Today meant a lot to me, because I know that it would have meant a lot to her," Nyota said. Spock tilted his head in agreement. She took his hand again and told him, "You've dealt with her death as is typical for Vulcan. That was her home, but it was not her life. She was human. We can treat this like the humans do."

Sytar said, "I like the humans. They're nice and they care about me." Spock raised an eyebrow. Certainly, there were Vulcans who cared about Sytar, as well. His father, himself, Elder Spock, Styik and at least Vulrak, outside of the family. But, then again, it could be confusing to a mostly human child the nuances of Vulcan culture and behavior.

Styik broke into his thoughts with, "I wish that there was a place to honor my mother's memory. There is none. There is none on Earth, nor on New Vulcan. It is not our way."

"She is in the katric ark," Spock reminded him.

"That is not a place that I am allowed to visit," Styik reminded him.

Nyota offered, "I will have a spot set up for her on the ship, along with Solak and Saada. That way, you'll get to have such visits with her, if you so please."

"Do you think that Uncle Jim will allow that?" Styik wondered.

"If not, I will bother him until he does."

"It's just that so many people on the ship have lost loved ones at one point or another. Usually, nobody gets their losses so heavily emphasized. I thought that the only reasons those small memorials were there was because of the nature of the loss and the fact that so many people on the ship were looking forward to the first babies."

Spock mentioned, "Actually, there have been babies born on the Enterprise. Many parents have gone to space stations and colonies to raise them off of a starship. There are even vessels with childcare, schools, and family wards. We decided to do something else. To "stay at home," as your mother calls it."

There was a bit more silence before Styik admitted, "I would appreciate it if it is possible to add for my mother. I will understand, if it is not possible."

"I will see to it," Spock told him. Styik nodded, once.

Spock's nervous energy that Nyota didn't want to speak about seemed to have worn down a bit by the time he made sure that the children were in bed safely and comfortably at the end of their night. He was still tending to that when she heard the doorbell sound. It was a delivery…? She allowed the door to open and the person smiled and presented her with flowers. "I'm sorry… There must be a mistake."

"Delivery for Nyota Uhura," the delivery person claimed.

"That is me. Thank you." She brought them in and looked at them. "I browsed," she remembered him saying. She put them into water and removed the data slip from the ribbon tied around them to immediately put into her PADD. "Rose of Sharon: consumed by love, double aster: because I share your sentiment, blackthorn flower - due to the difficulty of this day and this process, with leaves of arborvitae, for unchanging friendship…" She withdrew it, with a small smile and turned as he entered the room. "You browsed?" She repeated.

"Your claim was that my mother would have liked the flowers. Once, my mother suggested for me to bring you flowers. I was unsure if you remembered this, but as I never forget - I believed it to be appropriate on this day, even more than it was at that time."

"Well, that time, I wasn't able to do this," she said before planting a kiss right on his lips, then rubbing the gloss onto them with her thumb. "She changed my life. I only met her once, but she changed my entire life when she gave me her blessing."

Spock shut his eyes and pressed his forehead to hers. "That changed my life, as well."