Hi.

Sorry.

Absolutely sorry.

So maybe things haven't completely sorted out, but I think you deserve something from me.

This chapter feels different to me. And I'm not sure if it's a good different or a bad different. I just ask you to read it with an open mind, because it probably doesn't give off the feel I want it to give.

I kept changing my mind when I was writing this. Sometimes I wanted Naruto to be solemn and sad, sometimes I wanted him to be beautifully simple and other times I wanted him to be the brash, cocky little fucker that I've established him to be so far.

Because, I've come to dislike my writing. I'm too obnoxious. Just like Naruto comments on later on. But when I typed this in my current mood and Naruto came out all different and changed from before, I couldn't decided if you would like it or hate it. So I kept changing my mind, and I guess that just made it worse.

But. I guess… For best results, try to ignore the loud mood that the out-of-place loud comments make. I think, I think I want this chapter to be simple and pleasant. I can't make up my mind. Forget my rambling.

Just enjoy. Please.

- - - - -

The next night, I find myself drunk on awkwardness and wondering what to do with myself near the door of a club. Music is flying through the air, and a part of me wants to let go of reality. But I stay grounded, holding onto a nearby ledge as a couple shoves past me on their way to the bar behind.

I wish Sasuke was here. I'd begged him to come, but he only made excuses and, much to my guilt, offered me a lift. When we had arrived, I tried pulling him from the car, tempting him with the offer of suave boys and Frank Iero look-alikes, but he drove off with a small goodbye. And I'm left still, teetering on the alternate balls of my feet, waiting for someone to pick me up and show me around.

The music's loud enough to leave vibrating traces through my heart, and from what I can tell, only about a quarter of the crowd is stumbling drunkenly around. Personally, I don't really like it when no one gives a damn about what they're saying or doing or about you because they're too gone off drunk to be bothered but to enjoy the present and give a donkey's about tomorrow. And when the atmosphere gets that much thicker with intoxication, even turning a corner makes you anxious because there's always that possibility of falling into someone's drunken fuck. So, first impressions are pretty good, I'd say. Pretty sober, pretty loud, pretty good.

God, I'm getting all clammy again. The nerves are biting away at me, and to be honest, I'm not exactly sure why. I guess, maybe because Sai is someone you'd generally get nervous over. I mean, he is one of the most temptingly convincing women I have ever seen in my life. I'm sure he gives more than just me and my head a hard time; I know it.

But there's a stronger maybe for the cause of my nerves, a maybe that's stabbing little pins into the back of my brain. Ever since that lunch hour where Sai first waltzed over to us, Sasuke's been acting… a little off. And what frustrates me is that I don't even know what's up with him at all, that's what frustrates the hell out of me. Because in a way, to me, that's failing one of my duties as an always-there-for-you friend, something that I devote myself to, especially for Sasuke. Especially for Sasuke. And now I can't figure out what's wrong, and he won't tell me why, and I guess yeah, so maybe that is why my toes are stepping on themselves in anxiety right now. I'm genuinely worried about Sasuke.

"You made it."

Holy fucking cow!

Even in my damp mood, I'm still able to get the living shit scared out of me. And fuck, does my mouth run dirty when my nerves are frazzled or what?

I turn and I see Sai with a stretchy smile on his face. There's something not quite… there about his smile, but I see the effort he puts into it and I know he's actually truly happy that I could make it. I like that.

It's unsurprising that it was him who snuck up on me, but what's really surprising is that he's not in his usual tight, girl gear. Actually, he's just wearing a baggy cotton hoodie and loose cargo shorts. I look down and I see he's going bare foot whilst his green flip-flops dangle from his long fingers. And I decide that I like this too.

Suddenly, it's like this feels like a whole different Sai from that flamboyantly cocky one from school, and it's a little unsettling how much more I prefer this one to the awfully fit other.

For a minute, I catch myself wondering what Sai lives for. I wonder what he thinks is right and what he thinks is downright 'cool' and how these things decide how he acts.

And for the life of me, I can't figure it out.

Y'know what? I think I realise now that I can't just figure it out from two one-minute meetings with him. I barely know him, why should I have expected him to turn up in a corseted tutu? Sai seems like one of those people who are so sure of themselves, so familiar with their role in life. So what if he seems to have changed since yesterday, he still seems certain about how he wants to come across. And still yet, who am I to say he has 'changed'? I don't know him. I need to remind myself of that.

The more I think about it, the more I'm dumbfounded at how he's managed to find such a sturdy place in his personality. It gets me to realise that maybe he and Sasuke aren't so different. Sai is special too.

So no, I don't know Sai, but right now, I think I'm going to set myself a goal. I'm going to get to know him. Because, right now, I think he's one in a million. I think he's going to be a good friend. And I'll start to know him by telling him so.

"You're special."

And oh god. Only now do I realise what a brash, un-thought-out plan that was. I just hope it's given the right kind of impression I want to give… that I think I want to give.

He looks at me, and then he looks at my eyes.

The smile on his lips stretches that little bit more before he lets out a short, breathy chuckle. I don't know why, but I sense some kind of relief resonating from it.

"Thanks," he says, and it's amazing how I can hear him over the heavy stomp-beat of some bass line of a song.

I can feel the silence settling between us, softly laying down comfortably in the two-foot space between our bodies. It's awkward, but it's only awkward because it's not awkward, if you know what I mean.

I look at Sai again and he's watching the synchronised crowd of dancers and dancing people with his green flip-flops still in between his fingers. Now though, he's twiddling with them, swapping them from one finger to the other by the thin plastic that's meant to go between his big toe and his next toe.

It's strange, but I kind of enjoy just standing here with him.

His fingers suddenly stop fiddling. I look up at him and he's looking at me.

"My show starts in ten minutes," he says and he's back to looking at the bustling pit of sweat and flesh.

"Are you going to get ready now?" I ask. And I wonder what I'll do whilst he's gone. I wonder if my thoughts will wonder back to Sasuke who…

Who I haven't even thought about for those ten minutes me and Sai were together.

…Oh, shut up, Naruto. That doesn't mean anything. Maybe… maybe it might be a little bit good for me if I let go of Sasuke for a little bit. Just a little bit.

Fuck all hell, what am I thinking?

"No," Sai replies. It takes me a few more seconds to realise it's to my earlier question.

No. He leaves it at that and I love the simplicity of his rebellion.

"Just a couple more minutes here," he continues. "I'm comfortable."

He's only standing, so I presume he doesn't mean that physical, this-floor-is-so-soft-on-my-feet comfortable, but more of the socially, emotionally comfortable feeling; that I-like-this-simple-atmosphere-with-you comfortable.

I smile at him even though he's not looking at me and I say, "So am I." Because I am.

And now, I'm feeling nice, feeling content, and maybe just a little bit happy. Even though there's this feeling in me that echoes of my previous downtime and of worries about Sasuke, even though I know I'll wake up tomorrow with a few tonnes of guilt on my shoulders, I let myself live the moment for a while. I let myself act like a drunken alcohol junkie, enjoying the present and giving a donkey's about tomorrow. And even to my ears, I'm a stinking hypocrite.

The song booming through the speakers changes four times before Sai turns to me and says, "I'm gonna get going. I'll see you from on stage, yeah?"

I nod. I've been terribly quiet for a while. It had been because of my sombre mood, and though now it's been lifted, even if slightly, I still don't feel the need to talk much at all. There's something so uncomplicated here right now, in this atmosphere, in this aura that's come over me, and I think I really like it. I think it's something that I've needed.

But I wish Sasuke was here too. So he could be simple with me and uncomplicated with me. So I could share this pleasant niceness with my best friend.

I think I better head up closer to the stage so I'll get a better view. Loads of people are already starting to weave their way to the front. There's this one chain of people to the left, about ten or so of them, and they're all holding hands, dragging the person behind them whilst being dragged by the person in front, making a squiggly gap everywhere they go until the first one reaches the black raised platform of the stage. They've all got this massive grin plastered on their faces, like they're having the time of their lives just because them and their friends are sticking together, doing something different.

And it reminds me of Sasuke, and of how much more I want him to be here right now. And my temporary selfish happiness dissipates the more I think about him and about how I'm having fun when he's down in the dumps. Those few tonnes of guilt have come upon me earlier than I thought. I slow down in the crowd.

Should I turn back and call Sasuke? But I can't leave Sai now. And what would I do if I did?

I guess… I guess I have to make it up to him tomorrow. And I still need an answer as to why he wanted me to come to this in the first place. And to why he's feeling low. I just hope that –

What…

…the fuck?

My hand's been grabbed and I'm being dragged through the fifties of people. I look up, and the grinning face of a stranger greets me. I'm being pulled, rather quickly, and I'm stumbling over empty crisp packets on the dark ground. I look down, and both our knuckles are white because we're gripping each other so hard. I look over, and I see he's holding some other girl's hand, and we're all being pulled.

And it's only now I realise that I've been joined onto the link of smiling faces.

I… Um… Okay…?

It's less than ten seconds before we reach the front. He lets go of me, gives me this huge grin and a thumbs up before the crowd mingles around further and I lose sight of him.

God. I will never get used to club life.

Before I get used to my place in the mess of people, there's a loud, satisfying click and all the lights go black. The crowd goes mad.

I can't help but be reminded of my last birthday when me and Sasuke went to that gig. Granted, it's a lot smaller here and a lot more sober, but there's still the same thrum of anticipation in the air. I guess Sai's band is doing pretty well for themselves to get the people ready to piss their pants for them.

A seductive as hell chuckle resounds throughout the room from the amps on stage.

Boy, that made me shiver.

This genius bass riff starts playing and then the drums break through the music, each bang that boomed came with the switching on of a spotlight before the stage and the five people on it became visible.

I see Sai, and he's decked out in this slick outfit of tight, skinny pinstriped slacks, white shirt and black waistcoat, and I notice that his whole band is wearing only black and white suit-style clothing. Sai's got this ultra-long-necked bass in his hand, and even that is white.

He plays amazingly, quietly competent, the drummer smashes his heart out, one guitarist stays technical and cool, the other is absolutely full of beans, going crazy with his spirit, and the singer is theatrical beyond your imagination.

It's bloody electric.

- - - - -

The show went on for just over an hour. It's about eleven now and I think I'll go meet Sai when he comes out round the back alley, probably hauling equipment.

As I head out, the wind cuts into my bare skin because fuck, it's cold and I didn't bring a jacket.

I walk around and I wait awhile before the singer from Sai's band comes through the back fire exit with an amp in hand and big, white sunglasses perched on his nose. He grins a wide smile at me, full of teeth and waves a bit with his free hand. I stop rubbing my arms and wave back a little too.

When Sai comes out, he's back in his cargo shorts and hoodie, but this time his flip-flops are on his feet. His hands are full with a guitar case, an amp and wires so I think I'll be nice and give him a hand.

He smiles that off-ish smile at me when I take the amp from his left hand and we walk towards a van where the rest of his band and shoving the equipment.

"Enjoy the show?" he asks.

"Hell yeah," I smile at him. "You were brilliant."

We take turns to slide the boxes and cases into the boot of the van and then hang around the street side lampposts for a bit. The other band members are milling abut nearby.

In the afterglow silence of the hot show, I start wondering about Sai and his personality again. It's not too soon to ask him about something so philosophical is it? I'll take the risk.

"Sai?"

His hands are in the pockets of his jumper and he makes the cutest sound I have ever heard, "Hmm?"

I smile a bit. "You seem… different. From yesterday, I mean."

His lips turn upwards slightly but he still stares at the stars whilst he replies, "You mean, where's my skirt?"

I chuckle. "Well that, and… I'm not quite sure what to say, but you seem a lot more… sober."

He looks at me now. His eyes are dark. "I guess I am."

We don't say anything for a beat.

"I just have these obnoxious moments, you know?" he continues.

Oh, I know. I know what it's like to act so shamefully loud when I don't mean to. I want to be quiet and meaningful, like Sasuke, and like Sai is right now. But my mouth likes to run a mile a minute and I end up making fools of myself.

I think this, but I only nod.

"But I'm not like that really. I think it's just a nervous reflex," he says, and he turns to run his finger along a glowing street lamp beside him.

"You were nervous?" I question.

"Heh, yeah," he smiles. "Because I wanted to know you."

I like how it wasn't a 'because I fancy the balls off of you' or even a 'because I like you', not presuming he does fancy me.

Because he wanted to know me. Funny, because I want to know him too.

I tell him so.

His smile grows, and I'm glad I did tell him, because suddenly I want Sai to be happy almost as much as I want Sasuke to be happy. I think it's something in his smile.

"Really?" he doesn't really ask. "Good. Then let's get to know each other."

"Okay."

And I love how uncomplicated it is.

I love how I know Sai will become one of my best friends, and I love how there's no love-love feeling in my love for Sai. Not like there is for Sasuke. There's only this strong reassurance that we'll probably be friends for a good long time before something fucks us over.

And then it's silent again, but it's not awkward at all.

POW! Yeah, I'm Lethal to the B

POW! If you don't know about me

POW! Better ask someone quickly

Oh boy. That song fades in from around a corner and mobile phone quality British grime can only mean one thing.

Coz POW!

Ohhh boy.

Yeah, I'm POW!

I turn and there, strolling proudly down the pavement are three Gees, one of them, with his trucker cap barely on his head, has his phone whipped out and Lethal Bizzle is blasting out of it.

… Don't tell anyone, but I kind of… like this song.

Yes I'm POW!

It's silly how I'm almost hurting with desperation of how I don't want this time to be spoilt. But despite all my prayers and pleas, they continue bopping down the street towards us.

When they're almost a foot away, they stop. I'm a little bit scared… only an incy wincy bit. Really.

The one in the middle grins at us and reaches out his hand.

"'Ey Sai, man. Everything been goin' good for you?" his deep voice drawls out. Slap me for being surprised at how normal he sounds.

Sai smiles back at them and takes his hand, shaking it loosely whilst he gets a clap on the back from the Gee.

To tell the truth… I don't have a clue as to what's going on here.

Sai… and a Gee?

I…

…Heh… Why not?

Why bloody not?

What am I getting confused over? What am I surprised about?

Friends happen don't they? What does it matter that they dress different, do different things, listen to different music? What does it matter? Hell, I don't even know that. This Gee could go home and go to sleep to heavy metal screamo for all I know.

I think… I think I'm a flaming, idiot of a hypocrite. I know I am. But this… this has just slapped me in the face to double check. I've been a judgemental, lowlife excuse for a filthy scumbag. I think it's time I changed my ways. It's like a revelation. Almost. I'll just have to act on this little bit of light that's been shone on me before it disappears.

The Gee turns to look at me after some talking with Sai.

"Who's the new man, Sai?" he asks, still smiling.

"Naruto," Sai answers.

"Nice to greet you," he says to me, holding out his hand.

I take it and I smile.

"Nice to meet you too."

- - - - -

Okay. So. It's done. And sometimes I like it, sometimes I don't.

I'm a little bit anxious of your feedback, but well, just tell me what you really think and I'll be grateful.

Thanks for the time.