Disclaimer: InuYasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi, Sunrise, Viz, ect... not me.
Pairing: InuYasha/Kikyou/Kagome
Grief
It was ironic. All the hours spent dreading this moment, this harsh reality; dreading the damning decision that would have to be made. Irony was that it wasn't my enemy that forced it. It would've been easier then, acceptable, another kink in my already twisted existence. No – it was you who forced me.
"Decide InuYasha," you whispered death pale lips pulled tight, your bow drawn taunt aimed not for me – no, then it would've been easy to die for you, for us – but for you/her.
You pointed your deadly arrow at you/her.
"Choose InuYasha."
Unforgivable, hate me – destroy me – but leave you/her alone! She's done nothing to you; nothing to deserve this fate! If only you'd kept hating me, never turned your arrow. I swore I'd protect her - even from you.
From myself…
I never really had to choose. Instinct took over long before my mind rationalized the situation. She was in danger, it mattered not that it was you on the other end of the bow. I knew only one desperate fear driven desire – to protect you/her as I had failed you.
And what could I do but laugh? In the face of such tragedy, with my white-hot tears scaring my face with their innocence, burning away what goodness was left in me, I threw back my head and guffawed like a madman howling at the moon until everything was gone inside and I became as empty as the clay pot of a woman I'd destroyed.
And somewhere between the mess of insanity and grief, the laughter became empty and hollow; hiccupping into stifled sobs that burned in my chest and ripped through my sides even as new tears – no longer innocent – spilled down my reddened cheeks while everything inside shreded into a thousand pieces sending me to my knees, desperately holding onto any semblance of the reality I once knew, holding the broken pieces to my heart like a shattered doll, whimpering like the dog beast I am.
What else could I do?