Nobody seems to give three fucks about the update schedule. I'm gonna post like 3 because I might have technical difficulties with posting and shit throughout the week(although I'm probably overreacting who cares?).

Damn teleportin Blues!

Disclaimer: Rooster Teeth owns Red vs Blue and RWBY, guys. And Disney owns Frozen. You'd have to be Caboose to think we do.

~•~

"But.. Isn't that just pink?" Katherine asked, appearing out of nowhere.

"NO!"

"Uh.. Should we help them?" Ruby asked, as Yang shrugged. Silver looked around to see if anyone was watching her, and disappeared. A small green spider lurked in the darkness.

"..Bye.," Texas said, waving to where Silver once was.

A white mist came, taking the memory of Silver from everyone but Texas. Only a slight familiarity of her appearance and name remained.

"Theta, do you know where the others are?"

"Nope."

Suddenly, a Federal Army guy appeared out of nowhere, along with a random snowman. They appeared to have been in the middle of something together. SUDDENLAY, the snowman stabbed him with a glowing sword. "But... Why snowman?" The guy asked, before dying. Suddenly, a second Tucker came out of the snowman. A Tucker that didn't know who Jessie was. Because, alternate universes, and original storyline.

"Hi, Tucker Dos.O," greeted Texas.

"Wait, what the fuck?" Tucker Dos.O asked, looking at everyone.

"Tucker, meet Tucker Dos.O! Tucker Dos.O, meet Tucker!" Texas introduced.

The two Tuckers looked at each other, staying silent for a long time.

"I see you two do not like each other. Oh well."

"What. The. Fuck," repeated Tucker Dos.O.

"Hi," Tucker said.

"Wait," Jessie started, "Aren't you surprised by any of this?"

"Have you seen the shit that happened here? This is nothing!" Tucker exclaimed, doing a few gestures as well.

"What. The. Fuck," Tucker Dos.O said, again.

"Is he a broken record or something?" Grif asked.

"It sounds that way," Church agreed.

"Tucker?" Wash asked Tucker, then looked at Tucker Dos.O, "Tucker? How did you get here?"

Tucker Dos.O snapped out of his temporary trance, shaking his head, "Wash?"

"Why were you inside a snowman?" Washington questioned.

"I was trying to rescue you!"

"Wait, why would he need rescuing?" Church asked, Epsilon appearing next to him.

"Church?" Tucker Dos.O asked, "Two Churches? And only one has a body.. What the fuck is going on here!?"

"Uh.. I think Tucker is confused," Caboose said. "...Tucker did it."

"How does that even make sense?" Tucker asked.

"Hmm.. Now there's eight of them," Sarge muttered. "Simmons! We're outnumbered!"

"Wait, Sarge?" Tucker Dos.O asked, attention now directed towards the Red leader.

"I think Tucker Dos.O needs an explanation," Jessie stated.

"Huh? Who the fuck is she?" Tucker Dos.O asked.

"Oh, that's it?" Jessie asked, "No pick-up lines or anything because I'm a girl?"

"I'm way too fucking confused for that shit," Tucker Dos.O muttered. "How are you all here? It doesn't make sense!"

"When was the last time we ever made sense?" Jessie questioned herself, thinking about the things that had happened recently.

"This universe is breaking, Tucker Dos.O. I think. Pretty sure. It explains why magic exists and the RWBY characters. And why nothing ever makes sense in the long run. It explains why I'm here, too." Texas walked out of the crowd and offered Tucker Dos.O a hand. "I'm Texas. Do not confuse me with Tex."

"Tex? Is she here?" Tucker Dos.O asked.

"Yes. ...I dunno where exactly, though."

"I think Tex disappeared a while ago," Jessie said.

"Sucks to be her then. She doesn't get to see this madness."

Tucker Dos.O sucked in a breath."Well, thank god Tex isn't here."

"Oh! Wash, I was just thinking – Is Carolina your sister? I mean, you're blond, and I'm pretty sure she's blond too underneath all that red dye. Annnd I'm not really sure what else I'm going on with that."

"...What?" Wash asked, completely confused.

"Are you. Carolina's brother. Yes or no. Alsooooo where is she? I do not want a real life Frozen going down."

"That sounds like a dream I had," Tucker muttered.

"Wait, you mean like those ice powers she got?" Epsilon asked, "By the way, no one's fault she has those.."

"She has ice powers?" Jessie asked.

"Wait.. you didn't notice?" Church questioned. "Like, that time she accidently froze Caboose's head?"

"What?" asked Jessie, who shook her head. "Anyways, the last time I saw Carolina was when everyone's personalities got switched. She left after that, and didn't come back."

"Oh no, ice castles. Looks like time to go to Sidewinder," Texas said.

"Why Sidewinder?" Jessie questioned.

"I remember that she froze Sidewinder? Kind of? Anyways, that's probably where she is. Let's go."

"Carolina froze Sidewinder!?" Jessie shouted, "How do you even know this!?"

"Double existence? Hell, I don't know."

"Soo.. We're going to Sidewinder, then?"

"Yes."

"How do we plan on getting there, exactly?" Washington asked.

"You're a magician, Epsilon's a magician, Church's a magician. All the fragments are probably also magicians."

"Our powers have limits," Epsilon explained. "We can't just teleport groups of people light-years away on cue!"

"Make a spaceship, idiot."

"I... don't actually know how to do that yet."

"Or, we could see about repairing any of the broken spaceships already here. This is Chorus, right?"

"Actually, I think this place is called Hell."

"You sure? Cause I'm pretty sure this is Chorus. With the space pirates. And a thousand broken ships to repair magically and take."

"Hell seems more likely," Tucker told Texas.

"There's still probably broken spaceships. And if you can't get out, how did Carolina?"

"Not with a spaceship," Church explained. "She had this weird time-teleporter thingy and went to Sidewinder thousands of years in the past. How do you think it got frozen in the first place?"

"Fuck her then. Hey, how is Epsilon here without Carolina?"

"Don't you know this already?" Epsilon sighed. "I. Am a fucking magician."

"But, like, you glitched the fuck out when your hologram strayed a little more than two yards from Carolina when you were trying to tell Tucker and Caboose about how she wasn't crazy or whatever that one time. Also, I bet you have no idea what I'm referring to."

Epsilon paused for a bit. "I don't want to talk about it," he said, sounding almost embarassed.

"Fiiiiiine. Wash, you never answered my question. Is Carolina your sister or did the top Freelancer team just have way too many blonds?"

"Is there a problem with blonds?" Jessie asked, sounding offended.

"No. My cousins are blond, and they are some of the pleasantest people I have ever met. However, the hair color blonde is not caused by dominant genes. It's somewhat likely that you were related and it sort of explains why you were the team's worst fighter but still on it."

"Wait," Church started, looking at Washington, "You were the team's worst fighter? But you're good at it! I don't want to know who were the better ones."

"Maine, South, North, York, Tex, Carolina, Wyoming, Florida.. Pretty sure they were all better than him. He only became good after Epsilon wrecked him."

"Wow. You made him sound like he completely sucked!"

"I don't remember him fighting well.. But there wasn't much focus on him. Oh, and he was gullible like you would never believe. The things York and North told him..."

"Are you sure we're talking about the same guy?"

"He really changed after Epsilon killed himself inside his head. Developed this rock hard layer of badass and stay out of my head."

"Uh.. nice story?" Jessie said, more like a question than anything. "What were we talking about before?"

"1. Wash, are you Carolina's brother. 2. We need to get a ship to go to Sidewinder to find Carolina."

"We should be going now.." RWBY said, turning into dragons and flying away.

"Let's get back to that, then," said Jessie.

~•~

*sniff* glorious Red dragon army..