My eyes fluttered open as sleep drifted away, but as soon as they opened they quickly squeezed shut in defense of the rays of sunshine drifting in from the bedroom window. I was not in my own bed, so where was I? And then memories flooded back as the hangover settled in. I was in one of the guest bedrooms. My own room seemed too lonely, the bed too big and empty. My hand shot out and groped blindly for my wand on the nightstand. Bottles and trash crashed to the floor and my hand collided with the mess on the table. Finally, with a jolt of succession, my hand clasped my wand, and with a swish, the heavy curtains closed over the window, blocking the intrusive light from my vision.
At some point I managed to drag myself out of bed and into the shower, remembering that I had work. As the hot water crashed down onto my body, I began to feel more like myself again, whatever that means. I let the water run over me as though I could wash away my sins and fears, as the though the water could cleanse my soul as well as my body. Mystic shit like that only happened in stories and books, like King Arthur and the Bible. I wasn't even religious. Once upon a time I had been, but somewhere along the line of my life, whether it be work or the war, I lost faith.
I have seen with my own eyes what horrors are displayed in this world. I have seen what human beings can do to their own kind; what they can do out of fear and entertainment. I have seen the horrors of war as a boy, and it made me into the man I am today. I have known love and heartache, and I have known the temptation of sin. And every single aspect that I have seen or known in my life makes me question- how could there be a divinity so cruel as to let this happen?
I know the horrors of war. Every day grows worse and every moment of life is questioned. Will there be a tomorrow? Will a new dawn every break? I do not know if there is a heaven, but I know that no hell could be worse than life as we know it.
ZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZ
My hair dried into its usual mass of unruly curls, and looked strangely sloppy with my white dress shirt and black slacks. The office bustled with aurors, ministry workers, and the newbies from the academy.
I spotted Moody in the front of the conference room, looking as though he might strangle one of the new kids. Then, a woman standing beside him turned, speaking quietly only to him as if sharing a private joke. He laughed out loud, before taking a swig from the flask on his hip. Her familiar features were a shock to me as the image of my older sister sank in.
What the fuck was Helena doing here? She turned smoothly to face my direction, frowning at my apparent gawking.
I quickly made my way to where she was standing, preparing my ego for a bruising. She was always one to carry ego-piercing weapons, as Lily used to say.
Though she was naturally tall, the stiletto heels helped the appearance of long legs. The dark purple silk of her robes brought out the hues of violet and brown in her hazel eyes. She always was dressed looking like royalty, and the way she acted sometimes, you might guess she was.
" Where's the husband and kid at?"
She sniffed disdainfully at my manner of speech before answering me, her gaze drifting up and down my appearance.
" Robert has business to attend to in Columbia, and Mary is with the nanny. But enough of this, we need to talk, and it should not be done in such a manner here of all places. Come now, we are going to lunch, my treat."
I opened my mouth to protest, but she quickly shot me the shut up or die glare that she inherited from my mother. I flinched once beneath the weight of her gaze before I was able to look away and compose myself.
" Sure, lunch sounds great." That was a complete lie, because my stomach was screaming at me from the wild night before, silently cursing me for filling myself with the toxic crap. I don't think I ever want to touch another bottle of fire whiskey in my life. Actually, last night had been the first time I had touched alcohol in months. I only drank on Sirius's insistence, since it was a guys' night. Remus is in even worse condition than I am this morning. Of course, three bottles of tonic will do that to you.
I followed Helena off of the floor and down to the main lobby. Anyone was able to aparate into the ministry of magic, but not onto the auror division. It helped with psychos popping in on you unprepared.
She chose a classy Italian restaurant in the main square of London. We had barely ordered drinks and she started interrogating.
" So what is this I hear about Lily leaving?"
I raised my eyebrows at her remark, before sighing, tired. I was tired of answering everyone's God-damned questions about my personal life.
" It's just as you just said. Lily left."
Scorn burned within her eyes, her pupils dilating in anger.
" Don't be a smart- ass, little brother. When did she leave? Are you actually divorced, or just separated?"
I leaned back in my chair, my eyes blank of all emotion. Lily called it my poker face, said I used it on the job a lot. Hers was always better. She had no heart, no emotions when she went into her quiet zone. That was where she went when she killed, where she went when she was uncomfortable or upset. I saw that face many times over the past two years.
" We are not divorced, yet. Please don't tell me that the reason you came all the way from the Netherlands was to dig into my broken marriage. They make television and soap operas for drama needers like you."
Her lips curled back from her clenched teeth, malice burning bright in her violet eyes. Her perfectly manicured nails tapped a furious rhythm into the thick mahogany wood of the table.
" Mother called me up, crying because she was afraid she wouldn't be able to speak with her daughter-in-law again. You know how much she loved her. You should write or visit her, you haven't spoken to her and father in almost a year. She's been worried sick over you. But to answer your question, no, I am not just down here for your broken marriage. Alastor Moody called me down to help out. The shortage of aurors is becoming a great problem around here. They're barely able to keep Hogwarts safe anymore, much less keep muggles from dying."
She paused and took a long drink of her tea, her cheeks flushed from anger.
I placed my head in my hands, rubbing the tiredness from my eyes, though I could not disguise it from my voice.
" Look, I'll write mum, ok. I can't promise anything because of the auror shortage, but I'll try to take some time off and go visit, alright." I looked up to watch the frustration leak from her features, and a soft smile tilted her lips upwards. She nodded, and we ordered, finally coming to an agreement for the first time in many years.