Chapter 11

Tommy smiled, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his forehead against hers.

"...Can I ask you something?" she asked after a minute, and Tommy just nodded, so she took a deep breath and continued, "...Why did you turn me down?"
Her voice was shaky and barely over a whisper, and Tommy's eyes filled with pain.
"Jude, I..."

He stepped back, taking in a deep breath and pushing his hand through his hair as he tried to gather his thoughts.

"Jude, I just… I couldn't…" he finally forced out, beginning to pace a small path in front of her, "It felt wrong…"

Jude's heart stopped when he said this, and her expression changed to fear and pain.

"No, I didn't mean it like that!" he quickly added, panic in his voice, "It felt great!"

Jude's expression calmed a little at this, and he was surprised to see that she was still listening to him.

"…Believe me…" he sighed, "Just remembering every day that I can touch you… kiss you… It's… amazing…"

"Then what happened, Tommy?" she whispered, not wanting to push, but not knowing was killing her, "Why didn't you want me..?"

"No, baby, I wanted you… so much- you could not imagine how much!" he replied, letting out a small, humorless laugh before pausing for a moment.

"This means too much to me, Jude- You mean too much to me to screw this up…"

"How would you screw it up?" she asked, becoming overwhelmed by the confusion that was being added to her already emotional state, "Tommy, do you love me? …Like really love me?"

"You know I do! More than anything…" he answered genuinely.

"Then what? Do you think I won't be good enough??" she repeated, her question from that day which had gone unanswered, unaware of the rising volume of her voice.

"No, I won't be!" Tommy whipped around, his voice even louder than Jude, who just stared with an even more confused expression.

Silence filled the room for what seemed like a lifetime, before Jude finally found her voice again.

"…What?" was all she could force out as Tommy looked down, silent for another moment.

Jude stepped forward and took his face in her hands, bending slightly so that her eyes met with his, "Tommy… This is me here… Talk to me…"

He brushed his hand across her cheek.

"I just… I want so much for you… I want you to have it all… everything… and," he took a deep breath, still not used to being so open with things, "And I'm terrified that I can't give you that…"

Jude's eyes were filled with tears, and she put her forehead against his.

"I just want you!" she said with a wide smile, in what was a mix between sobbing and laughing, "You are everything to me!"

A look of relief and happiness washed over Tommy, and unable to hold it in, he pulled her into him, forcefully connecting his lips with hers.

She returned the kiss, feeling the same over-whelming passion and love as he was. After a moment, Tommy began to feel his control wearing thin as they slowly inched their way closer to the bed.

Once Jude felt the back of her legs touch the edge of the bed, she broke away from the kiss. She looked deeply into his hungry eyes for a moment before lowering herself onto the bed, pulling him down with her, and as soon as they felt the soft covers beneath them, they immediately reconnected their lips.

Tommy's hands eagerly moved over her body as she ran hers through his hair, and then moved them to the hem of his shirt.

Tommy pulled away from the kiss, looking down at her hands and then back up to her eyes with a concerned and almost nervous expression which melted Jude's heart immediately.

"Tommy, it's okay…" she whispered assuringly, "I know what I'm doing…"

"But are you sure this is what you want?" he asked, breathlessly.

"I want you…" her voice was hushed, soft, and sensual which surprised even her when she answered.

Tommy's eyes fell to her lips and once again, she felt the amazing rush of their kiss, and she could feel herself getting lost in it.