Before getting on with the story I'd like to address something that was pointed out to me; I've failed to mention references. That's absolutely true (there are a lot), and there's a very simple reason for that, namely I didn't want to. The reason for that is that for me, personally, when I read I don't like to know where references come from because I feel like that clouds my judgement. If I get it then I do and I'll be happy I recognised it and it feels like a found an Easter egg. If I don't then it doesn't matter. However, I realise not everyone feels that way and I'm absolutely all for credit is given where credit is due and this has made me reconsider. But I'll hold off on mentioning the references until the end. Let's see how many others you can spot? :)
Truth be told Draco had planned on finding out if he could persuade Hermione to break a rule once back in the house. He really did. But as soon as he'd stepped into the shower he had, rather unceremoniously actually, relieved his tension. He barely even needed to touch it, as a matter of fact. Thinking of the poor house-elf who'd clean the shower afterwards, even if he did tried his best to clean himself from the walls (yes, plural), he still felt a bit remorseful. So, between that and the chilling-breeze charm brilliantly cast on the room Draco was asleep before his head even landed on the pillow. Not even Hermione slipping into the bed with him some 10 minutes later woke him.
Nevertheless, today was a new day with new possibilities of breaking rules and right now Draco and Hermione were having brunch at the terrace with the ocean view. A brunch that up until now had been filled of sexual innuendoes, as was the costume now.
First Draco had asked Hermione how she'd like her eggs, to which Hermione had replied,
"Fertilized."
Draco had answered by letting out a frustrated growl and wonder how that was ever going to happen if she continued to refuse to shag him.
Draco had then proceeded to make all sort of hole-related puns about the bagels, to which Hermione had just rolled her eyes and informed him that wasn't very creative.
"Pass me the sausages, will you, Malfoy?" Hermione asked as she scanned the Witch Weekly, which had been delivered last night.
"You mean this one?" Draco looked innocently down at his crotch. "I'm afraid you'll have to come and get it, Granger."
Hermione looked up from the paper and arched an eyebrow at him,
"You mean you wouldn't mind if I took a bite?"
Draco tsked and tilted his head slightly,
"My dear Granger, haven't I made it perfectly clear you can have a nibble at any part of my body whenever you feel peckish."
Rolling her eyes at him Hermione turned her attention back to Witch Weekly. Draco, in turn, turned his attention back to his coffee. That was until Hermione let out a small yelp which nearly made Draco choke on it.
"What? Is something wrong?" he coughed, trying to undo swallowing the wrong way.
Ignoring him, Hermione continued to scan the page,
"Oh, I can't believe this! So tasteless."
"Come on, let me see." Draco snatched the paper out of her hand.
"Oi! Wait 'til your turn!" Hermione protested, frowning at him.
"Yeah, well I'm paying for it. The day you subscribe you'll get first pick." He then raised a very suggestive eyebrow at her. "As it happens, I do have an alternative suggestion of payment we could arrange. Good thing I'll accept alternative payment."
"If you say sex I'll punch you. You know I will, Malfoy." Hermione glared at him.
"Fine. Have it your way then." he quipped, turning to read the page Hermione had been reading up until he snatched the paper out of her hand.
The page showed a listing of England's Top Ten Eligible Bachelors.
"Oh how tactless. Objectifying gullible wizards as if all there is to them are their bodies." Draco rolled his eyes. "I'll bet Romilda Vane is the author. Oh look, I was right. Honestly, who reads this rubbish? It's so utterly unsubstantial!"
Quickly scanning the paper he did a double take at the middle of the page.
"Oh, would you look at that! I'm England's Top Eligible Bachelors number five!" he looked up at Hermione, a smug smile on his face. Much too smug.
Hermione gave him a sly smile,
"Really?"
"Yeah, listen to this." Draco read from the paper. "Draco Malfoy recently took over Malfoy Inc and safe to say the young hunk has been making some well needed changes. Between (what we only can assume are) mind-numbing meetings the young Malfoy still makes sure to be seen at all the right social soirées. We here at Whitch Weekly really say keep an eye on this up and coming bachelor. We certainly will!" Looking up from the paper Draco rolled his eyes in mock-blushing. "Up and coming? Oh, they shouldn't have!"
Hermione rolled her eyes at his ego-boost.
"And look, Granger! They've even got my picture in here. The one from last years Ministry Christmas party. Remember? Oh, it looks like they managed to crop you out of it. Too bad, you looked rather dashing in that silver dress with the deep neckline." He smiled smugly.
Hermione arched an eyebrow at him,
"Yeah? Did you see who's number three yet?"
Not loving how taunting she sounded Draco continued reading the page.
"No way!" he bellowed.
"You found number three, then?" she smirked.
"How can they rank Captain sodding Quidditch higher than me?" Draco spat out, utterly outraged.
"Does it matter? A minute ago this was tactless rubbish objectifying gullible wizards." Hermione teased. "Although it didn't seem that way when you saw yourself in there."
"Oh, get a grip, Granger!" Draco sneered. "Why is he more eligible than me?"
"Oh, beats me." Hermione shrugged, sipping on her tea casually.
"It's his abnormally large penis, isn't it?" he looked at Hermione for confirmation.
Hermione merely rolled her eyes and shook her head at his childish fit.
"Doesn't matter how big it is. He's malfunctioning horribly. That's what matters." Draco said, more to himself than to Hermione.
"Are you done being a jealous git now? Can we drop this tasteless article?" she asked.
"Right, fine. Let's drop it. Romilda Vane hasn't got a clue and I'll be suing her." he said, firmly. "So, what do you want to do today? Have a butchers at the beach in daylight or stroll around the city for a while before we have naked-dinner and you can confirm my penis is much better in any way, shape and form than Captain Quidditch's?"
Pinching the bridge of her nose Hermione sighed,
"Malfoy, I'm not having naked-dinner with you just so you can have me comparing your penises!"
"Of course I don't want to have naked-dinner with you just so you can compare penises!" He moved his chair closer to hers, draped an arm around her backrest, leaned in and mumbled into her ear,
"I want to have naked-dinner with you because it would be hot as fuck. I'd be able to fully worship your wonderful shapes and perhaps even have a taste. For dessert."
Giving him a cunning smile Hermione leaned in and whispered in his ear,
"Malfoy." Her breath tickled his ear and sent wonderful shivers down his spine. "We're not having naked-dinner. We don't want to have accidental-sex, do we?"
Leaning back Draco grunted.
"Fine. But you never want to do anything I want."
Hermione giggled a little,
"You do live such a horrid life, Malfoy. You're only on a bloody weekend-trip at your bloody manor in Croatia with your hot flatmate."
"Fair point." he grunted. "A stroll in the city then?"
"Sounds lovely." she smiled.
^v^
They side-along-apparated into the city where they strolled around for a while looking at the small tourist shops along the boardwalk. Hermione bought a ridiculously large sunhat and Draco bought a pair of nicer-looking swim shorts that weren't as horrendous as the orange pair Hermione had packed for him. After that they bought ice-cream and went down to sit in the sand at the beach. The sound of the waves gently crashing and the warm sand between their toes made for the perfect scenery.
"Wanna taste?" Draco offered his peach sorbet to Hermione.
She licked his ice-cream with much more tongue than necessary and Draco instantly regretted his decision to get her such a seductive treat.
"Mmmmhm! So good." Hermione said when she was done licking. "Wanna taste mine?"
Draco took a nibble of her plain vanilla,
"Mmmhm. Not bad."
"Hang on, you got a little something there." Hermione brushed the ice-cream away from the corner of his mouth with her finger, which she then sucked clean.
"Next time, perhaps you'd considered using your mouth to clean me?" Draco raised a suggestive eyebrow at her.
She nudged him playfully and smirked,
"I'll keep that in mind."
Draco was just about to wrap his arm around her shoulder to pull her closer when a voice to their left interrupted him.
"Hermione? Malfoy? Is that you?"
Draco stopped mid-motion and in a miserable attempt to disguise the affections gesture he scratched the back of his head. Both him and Hermione turned, only to find the owner of the voice to be Ginny.
"Ginny?" Hermione asked as she spotted her friend. "What are you doing here?"
"Harry and I are here to watch Puddlemere United play tonight. We took a port-key just this morning." Ginny grinned.
"Harry is here too? And the Puddlemere is playing here? Tomorrow?" Hermione asked, and Draco could hear the beginning of a panic in her voice.
Just then Harry joined them, handing a watermelon smoothie to Ginny.
"Fancy seeing the two of you here!" Harry grinned at Draco and Hermione.
"Yeah, well. Small world and all that." Draco mumbled under his breath.
"Yeah, Oliver got us tickets to the game. Sky box, fairly decent." Ginny grinned. "What are you two doing here, anyway, if you're not here to watch your ex play Quidditch?"
"Ummmmm… " Hermione blushed, but didn't seem able to come up with a reasonable response.
Rolling his eyes slightly at the complete inability for Gryffindors to lie Draco said airily:
"Oh, we decided to skive off for the weekend. No hard plans. Just stroll around the city, read a good book, drink a lot of wine. You know, that sort of thing."
"Oh, that's sounds lovely! Great idea to escape the city in this dreadful heat." Harry nodded. "Hey, if you free tonight, why don't you have dinner with Ginny and me?"
"Absolutely not." Draco snorted.
Hermione shot him a lethal glare.
"So… You do have hard plans, then?" Ginny narrowed her eyes at the pair still sitting in the sand.
Draco shrugged,
"Not necessarily. I just don't feel like it."
"Why? It's not like we're interrupting a date." Harry mocked.
"Um, yeah, you are." Draco retorted.
"You've got a date, Malfoy? Here in Croatia? With whom?" Ginny asked.
"Yeah, with whom, Malfoy?" Hermione leered at him.
"Oh, wind your neck in and stop being so nosy, won't you?" Draco snapped.
"Alright… So Malfoy's got a mysterious date. How about you, Hermione? Dinner?" Ginny turned to her friend.
"Oh, I'd love to, but unfortunately I've got to work. Too bad, or else I'd love to!" Hermione said and quickly turned her attention back to her ice-cream.
Ginny and Harry exchanged meaningful looks.
"Right…" Harry said, running his hand through his hair. "If you're too busy for dinner, how about lunch?"
Looking at each other for a split second they knew they couldn't weasel out of lunch without being too suspicious.
"You know what?" Hermione said. "Lunch sounds great."
^v^
Lunch with Harry and Ginny took place on a seafood restaurant at the beach. It was a short lunch, as Draco made sure to be extra rude and keep conversations short. After lunch Harry and Ginny bid them good-bye to disappear to find a Wizards'-sports bar to have a pint or two before the game. Relieved to finally be alone again Draco and Hermione went for a stroll down the pier by the beach.
"So…" Draco said, now confident they were finally alone, and wrapped his arm around Hermione's shoulder. "You really had no idea the Prune Heads United's were playing here tonight?"
Hermione turned to him in mild shock,
"No, of course not! How was I supposed to know?"
Draco chuckled,
"Come think of it, it's remarkable how little interest you have in Quidditch seeing as you seem so fond of Quidditch-players." he smirked.
"What ever do you mean?" Hermione blushed.
"Well, Weaslett is chaser for the Holyhead Harpies. And as for your romantic record; first there was Krum, then Weasley, then Captain Quidditch himself. And now there's me." he grinned.
Hermione rolled her eyes at him,
"Don't flatter yourself. You're not a Quidditch-player. Three of the people you mentioned actually made a career out of it. You used to play back at Hogwarts and now you occasionally play for fun with Blaise, Harry, Ginny and Ron."
"Yeah, but I've still got the body, though." he smirked.
"That, you do." she sighed.
They'd reached the end of the pier and stopped.
"So, Captain Quidditch seems to be in town." Draco arched an eyebrow at her.
"Yeah, but what are the chances of us running into him?" Hermione waved him off.
"Yeah, I bet you're right. We probably won't." he agreed.
Hermione stopped, turned towards him and gave him a mischievous smile,
"Tell you what; if we do run into him here I'll have naked-dinner with you."
Suddenly very interested in the conversation Draco turned towards her as well,
"Really?"
"On one condition." She gave him a strict look.
He took a step closer to her,
"Name it."
An ominous smirk suddenly draped her lips,
"No touching."
Draco let out a growl,
"You're a right tease, did you know?"
"Well, wouldn't want us to accidentally have sex and break a rule, now would we?" she smirked.
"Ha ha. Very funny, Granger." He then smirked and took yet another step closer to her so that she had to tilt her head up to look at him. "No matter, I'm confident I can simply converse you into begging me to break the no-touching and no-sex rules."
She licked her upper lip slowly. Too slowly,
"Oh, you're on, Mr Malfoy."
With his eyes fixed upon her tongue caressing her upper lip Draco said,
"I'd never though the day would come when I actually hope to run into Captain Quidditch."
They hadn't even walked five meters back on the pier before a familiar auburn coloured head of hair and a squared face with very symmetrical strong jaws came into view browsing in one of the shops.
"How come all the people we know happens to be in bloody Croatia just now?" Draco sighed annoyed.
"Oh, Merlin's saggy left... I didn't think we'd see him here." Hermione grunted.
Unable to help himself, Draco smirked,
"Don't you ever get tired of being wrong?"
"Prat!" Hermione punched him on his bicep. "What should we do? Leg it?"
Oliver looked up and, unfortunately, seemed to recognise the pair as he smiled awkwardly and gave an insecure wave.
"Too late, he already saw us." Draco said. "Brace yourself, Granger. It's about to get uncomfortable."
"Oh fuck, he's coming over." Hermione said through gritted teeth as she forced a smile. "Oliver! Fancy running into you here!"
"Hermione! What a surprise!"
Both Hermione and Oliver seemed a little uncertain whether to hug or simply nod. It seemed Hermione decided on the nod and Oliver on the hug, which resulted in a stiff and uncomfortable embrace that subsided as quickly as it'd begun.
"I'd have to say the same! I heard you were playing here tonight, but I figured you'd be off somewhere else… Getting ready." Hermione trailed off before saying something stupide.
Oliver ran a hand through his hair,
"Yeah, well. I would have gotten you tickets, but since… well, you know… I reckoned it'd be a bit awkward."
"No, don't worry about it!" Hermione said. "You know I don't understand Quidditch anyway!"
Feeling a bit annoyed being completely left out of the conversation Draco cleared his throat,
"Ehrm. Just as well. Granger and I've a dinner planned tonight, anyway. Don't we, love?"
Even though she no doubt tried her hardest, Hermione couldn't prevent a deep blush from tinting her cheeks.
"Right. I do believe recalling I did make you a dinner-promise." she said, as courteously as she could.
Looking suspiciously between the two of them Oliver narrowed his eyes,
"So… What are you doing here then?"
"Oh you know, just blowing off some steam. You know how it gets in the city during a heat wave." Draco shrugged indifferently. "All your clothes sticking flush to your body from the sweat, making you not wanting to ware any at all. I mean, it even came to a point where we practically walked around naked in the flat because we had to. No, much more comfortable here then."
Hermione shot him a warning glare and he didn't need Legilimency to understand it meant stop talking now!
"Right…" Oliver said. "You're not here on a date, are you?"
"Why? Are you thinking of asking Granger out again?" Draco all but sneered.
Then Oliver did something unexpected. He laughed.
"Afraid of what would happen if I did?"
"I would lie if I said I wasn't a bit curious. But I could make my peace with living in oblivion." Draco shrugged.
"No, I'm not going to ask you out, Hermione." Oliver turned to Hermione.
"That's right. Dry your eyes, mate. I know it hurts but her mind's been made up." Draco sneered.
Completely ignoring him Oliver continued,
"The only reason I asked was that I was curious if you'd gotten your head out of your arses and realised you're actually very much in love with each other."
"You mean you knew?" Hermione blushed deeply yet again.
"I'll take that as a yes, then." Oliver winked. "Seriously, you'd have to be blind not to see it."
"You're not mad?" Draco asked, eyeing Oliver as if he suspected the other man might be under the Imperius curse.
"Of course not!" Oliver snorted. "Disappointed that I really didn't have a chance with the Hermione Granger, yes. We had our fun, and I'm glad we did. I know many who would literary kill for even that. But mad, no. Never. I'm happy for you, really I am."
Draco rolled his eyes at the pompous git but Hermione smiled,
"Thank you Oliver. That's very nice of you."
"Well, I'm off to warm-ups. See you around, Hermione. Malfoy, it was good to see you." And with that Oliver turned and walked away.
After collecting themselves from this bizarre encounter for a moment Hermione said,
"Did you hear that? Oliver said people would kill to be with me. You should feel blessed."
"Oh, make no mistake. I do." Draco said as he swung his arm around her shoulder as they started walking back towards the apparition point. "I'm about to have naked-dinner with the Hermione Granger. I wonder how many blokes would kill for that?"
Phew, good-guy-Oliver gave us some closure, didn't he? Personally, I always loved him in the books and I kind of feel bad for putting him through this story. Ah, well. I can always make it up to him in another story I guess.
So tell me, how do you like the idea of naked-dinner? Will they be able to follow Hermione's no-touching-rule? Do you think it's time to break a few rules?