Genius In Love

Omigosh, I'm so sorry for the long wait! ...Do you guys hate me?

Kyuubi: I do.

Well, no one asked you, now, did they?

I'm uberly sorry! I hope this was worth it!

I don't really have anything interesting to say.... Sorry...

Oh yeah.

MORE REVIEWS THIS TIME! I'm waiting for eight reviews and nothing less! If I don't get them, it's your loss, I can keep on waiting, I'm in no hurry.

Chapter Eleven: 411 On Dating My Sister

Shikamaru groaned hugely. How the hell did he always get into these messes?

Oh yeah. His mom made him.

Flashback

"You better go on a date with her, Shikamaru!"

"...Or what..?"

"Do you really want to know?"

"No..."

"And you're still standing here because...?"

"Yes, ma'am, getting ready right now!"

End flashback

When in doubt, blame your parents. Shikamaru sighed unhappily, looking at himself in the mirror. Well... at least I don't look too bad...

Elsewhere...

"Why are you all dressed up?" Kankurou asked Temari when she came downstairs later that night.

"I'm going out," she said haughtily.

"You look weird," he said bluntly, going back to his video-game (Actually it was Shikamaru's, but Shika never used it, so why should it go to waste?)

Temari flushed slightly; she had gone to extra pains to make herself look nice tonight, since Kibishii had promised her a fancy date. She had borrowed a dress from Kibishii (having no dresses of her own that were fancy enough) and thought she looked exceptionally nice in it. It was black velor, with spaghetti straps and a low back, and reached her mid-thigh. There were red rinestones along the hem of her skirt, gradually decreasing in density as they rose up to her waist. Around her neck she wore a black silk ribbon with a tear-drop ruby hanging from the center. For shoes she wore her regular ninja sandals (incidentally, they're called zori...), just in case (Sunaga nins were always prepared). She had even gone to such lengths as to take a hair-straightener to her normally unrully, rough hair, and had successfully been able to tie it back Legolas-style with a black ribbon.

"What's wrong with the way I look?" she asked angrily, putting her hands on her hips.

"Oh, god, where do I begin?" he said in a long-suffering voice, putting the game on pause, as Gaara slowly stalked into the room. "Hey, Gaara, got done with threapy? My 'therapist'" (He formed quotations with his fingers) "says I'm getting along nicely."

"Hn." Gaara stopped when he saw Temari. He looked her up and down a few times, taking in her new attire; the room (consisting of only the sand nins) was quiet, waiting for the verdict. "...Whoa," he said finally.

"Good '...Whoa,' or bad '...Whoa'?" Temari asked uncertainly.

Gaara shrugged. "I don't know. You looked different."

Temari frowned, putting her hands on her hips again; they had fallen when Gaara entered. She decided to spell it out for him. "Do I look pretty, Gaara?"

Kankurou glanced from Gaara to Temari, then back to Gaara. He, of course, had the knowledge to simply shrug and mumble something incoherent and go back to whatever he had been doing. Gaara, on the other hand, had never been presented with such a situation. The results could be amusing, educational, horrifying, or all of the above.

Gaara paused, looking his sister up and down again while she waited. Then, there was another moment of silence.

"Henh..." He walked away.

"Wha--?!" Temari's jaw dropped. She whirled around to face Kankurou. "Kankurou, am I pretty?!" she demanded.

He shrugged, making a "so-so" motion with his hand, and making an "Ehhh..." noise. "Not really my type. Besides, I've known you since..." He thought for a moment. "...Ever. I can't really look at you without thinking about the damn blonde brat who kept hitting me with the cieling fan."

Temari smiled a little; such fond memories. She frowned, taking in the rest of what he'd said. "What is your type, Kankurou?" she asked curiously, straightening her dress.

".......Why?" He gave her a suspicious look.

"I was just wondering. You've never had a girlfriend, or anything, so I was wondering." She shrugged a little.

He glared. "Oh, yeah, like you're Miss Pimp-tress!"

She flushed. "Shut up! I had a boyfriend in seventh grade!"

"Ri-i-ight, yeah, the one who filed for a restraining order?" Kankurou smirked.

Temari flushed. "Shut up! I needed a training partner! Was that so wrong?!"

"It's a little thing called 'abuse,' Temari, have you heard of it?"

"...No."

Kankurou starred at her. I think she's telling the truth...

Meanwhile, upstairs...

Shikamaru grimaced, looking at his reflection. I hate this! Why should I have to do this, anyway?! It's not like this is joining nations, or anything.

....Ok, well, technically, it is... But I gotta get out of this! In no way, shape or form am I going to leave this room!

Knock, knock, knock.

"Go away! Leave me alone!" Shikamaru shouted at the door.

....Knock, knock, knock.

"Gaah... Leave me alone!" he repeated, glaring at his reflection in the mirrior. Some would think it unmanly to have a full-lnegth mirror in one's bedroom, but he found it came in handy.

KNOCK! KNOCK!! KNOCK!!! WHAM!

The door fell off it's hinges. Shikamaru jumped, whirling around. "What the f--"

Gaara glared at him. "We need to talk."

"Uh... I'm kind of busy."

"If you can't talk and be busy at the same time, you're stupid."

Well, that was an insult one must never take lying down! Shikamaru scowled. "Talk to me."

Gaara placed the door back on it's hinges with surprising accuracy, then turned on Shikamaru again. "You're going on a date with my sister."

"...Yes?" Was it a question or a statement?

"Then here are the rules," Gaara said calmly, reaching into one of the pockets located on the side of his pants.

There are rules...?

Gaara whipped out a small memo pad and flipped open the cover. He cleared his throat and began to read. "Rule 1, No physical contact. Any violation of this rule will result in squishing."

Shikamaru shrugged. This was the first date; physical contact wasn't really a problem yet.

"Rule 2, No eye contact. Any violation of this rule will result in squishing."

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow, but let it slide; it wasn't like he and Temari ever made eye contact, anyway.

"Rule 2, No cheap dates. Any dinner/meal costing less then 1000 yen will result in squishing." (A/N: 1000 yen: around 8.50, US currency)

Shikamaru didn't really react. His parents were paying for the whole shebang.

"Rule 3, Do not speak unless it is to compliment her in a non-sexual way. Any violation of this rule will result in squishing."

Shikamaru starred. This was getting out of hand... Gaara wasn't serious, was he?

Meanwhile, in a room down the hall...

Temari frowned worriedly, tugging at her hair. "It doesn't look right... I don't really look like me anymore."

"That's a good thing," Kibishii reassured her. The two of them had united (somewhat) in making sure Temari had a date with Shikamaru. Kibishii had spent the better part of an hour doing Temari's hair, and now was determined she kept it that way.

"But--"

"Nnn!" (translation: Shut up and deal!)

"But--"

"Nnn-ehh!" (transation: Why won't you shut up?)

"Wh--"

"NN!"

Across the hall...

"Rule 478," Gaara continued. Shikamaru felt his brain turning into goo trying to remember all the rules. "Maintain a five-foot radius from her at all times. Any violation of this rule will result in squishing."

Shikamaru starred. What was he supposed to do during dinner? Ask for a seperate table and shout over the distance?!

"Rule 479, No disrespect; if she comes home disappointed, the result will be squishing." Gaara gave him a look. "Rule 480, Obey all of the above." He closed his little memo book. "You're dismissed."

"This is my room!"

"Oh yeah..." Gaara walked out, looking around as if just realizing that this was not, in fact, his broom closet.

Shikamaru groaned and sat down on his bed, running his nails over his scalp. This is too frickin' much! He looked up when the door opened again. "Hey, Kankie."

"My name is Kankurou," Kankurou snapped, plopping down on his futon. "Kan-kur-ou. Not Kank. Not Kankie. Kankurou."

"No kidding, dude. What do you want?"

"Huh?"

"What do you want?" Shikamaru repeated, raising an eyebrow.

"Well..." Kankurou paused, looking at Shikamaru for what seemed like the first time since entering the room.

He burst out laughing. falling off his futon.

Shikamaru blushed slightly. "Shut up... What did you want?"

"Huh..?" Kankurou thought for a moment. "Oh, yeah." He took out a camera and snapped a picture of Shikamaru.

"ACK!" Shikamaru saw white spots for a few minutes. "Is that for blackmail or something?!"

"No, this is in case I have to hunt you down." Kankurou walked out.

Shikamaru felt himself sweat.

"Oh, yeah, Shikamaru?" Kankurou popped his head back in. "Nice suit." He walked out laughing.

Shikamaru groaned and left, as well, going to the broom closet down the hall and knocking. "Gaara?"

Gaara opened the door and poked his head out. "What?"

Shikamaru sighed. "Could you do me a favor?"

"...And what?"

"Well, if you could just squish me, right now, that would be great, because I know I'm going to goof up." Shikamaru closed his eyes, waiting for Gaara to kill him, and praying for admitance to heaven if he did so.

Gaara stared at him for a few minutes, then closed the door.

"Hey, I'm serious!" Shikamaru shouted, banging on the door. "Come on, Gaara, squish me!"

"No!"

"Why not?!"

"Because!"

"Because why?!"

"Because you're confusing me!"

Shikamaru starred at the door for a few minutes.

"Hey, Shikamaru, you ready to go?"

"Yeah, just a--" Shikamaru turned around. His jaw dropped.

A few moments of silence

Temari blushed a little. "What?" She looked away.

Shikamaru continued to stare.

"You're making eye contact!" Gaara shouted.

Temari raised an eyebrow. "Are they doing that again?"

"'Again'?! They've done this before?!"

"Did Kankurou take your picture for your wanted sign yet?"

"Yeah..."

"Kankurou!" Temari shouted, going back to Shikamaru's room (How Kankurou got there so fast is beyond me). She threw open the door and grabbed her brother by the front of his shirt. "If I didn't promise Mother on her deathbed that I wouldn't kill you," she said in a cold, deadly voice, "I would kill you!"

"Yeah, and believe me, no one appreciates that more then I do," Kankurou whimpered, cowering.

Temari dropped him and went back into the hall; Shikamaru was still in the same position, starring blankly at where she had been standing. "Forget about them, let's just have fun."

"Rule 187, No fun!" Gaara shouted from the broom closet.

"Aw, shove it, Gaara," Temari called, pulling Shikamaru down the stairs.

Now I remember what I wanted to say!

I helped H-R write one of her chapters for Suna's Kekkai Genaki! She added alot of crap in, but go read chapter five (when she posts it) and see if you can tell which is which!

PEACE.