Chapter 11

(Kim's POV)

Dad: Hey, Kim. What are you doing there? I thought you were supposed to hang out with the gang?

Me: No.. Sorry dad if I've been hanging out with them a lot lately. We're just trying to spend lots of time together before summers over.

Dad: Oh come on, it's okay. I've also been through being a teen you know? Of course I understand. Anyway, Kim, I have this business coming up this saturday. You better save the date, okay? I need you there. Btw, where's Grace? Is she with Jack again?

Me: They're on a date.. (unenthusiastically)

Dad: Kim, listen, I still don't want you to date, okay? I'm not like Grace's mom. Just saying.

Me: With this face of mine? Of course no one would want to date me. *I put on my snapback back the way I used to wear it* Because I'm never gonna change anymore. Dad, I'm tired. See you tomorrow.

Oh shoot. But the slow dancing competition is this saturday as well. And I haven't told my dad about it. What do I do?

The next day

Jack and I were eating together. And we still haven't said anything to each other.

Until we both spoke at the same time.

Jack and me: Is there something wrong?

Jack and me: What is it?

Jack: Okay, ladies first. What's wrong?

Me: You called me a lady? *smiles*

Jack: Why?

Me: Hm, nothing *smiles*

Jack: So, whats wrong with my girl best friend? (Sounding so concerned)

Me: Girl…lady…

Jack: Is there a problem with that?

Me: No. I'm just kinda not used to it. So..I have to go with my dad on his business trip this saturday.

Jack: Oh no, Kim. But what about the dance competition?

Me: Exactly. That's my problem. I don't wanna let Julie and Mika down, after all they have done to help me. I also don't wanna hurt my dad by not going with him to his important business trip.

Me: You know what's funny? I wasn't so interested in these beauty stuff or girly things back then. It wasn't cool. But now, it isn't that bad. *tears running down my face* I realized it wasn't too late for a change. It wasn't too late to be who I really wanna be. This change actually made people notice me now. For being a real girl. They call me a girl and actually treat me like one. *tears running down my face* But…why does it seem so hard? It seems like I can't.

I broke down in tears. And then Jack put his hands on my face and wiped away all of my tears.

Jack: Let's practice our dance again.

Me: But what if I-

And then he put his finger on my lips stopping me from finishing my sentence.

Jack: Shh. Let's not think about that for a while. Let's just get this off our heads, okay?

So we did.

Jack: Are you feeling a bit better now, Kim?

Me: Even if I'm not okay. Even if everything's not okay. It will still be okay…because you're here with me. Thanks, Jack.

We stopped dancing and just stood there in place. He was holding my hands.

Me: So um, what was your problem earlier? (Breaking the silence)

He took off my snapback and stared at me. He put his face closer to mine.

Jack: Kimmy, when we were playing basketball yesterday, something happened to me-

And then Grace came out of nowhere.

Grace: Jack? Kim?

Before we said a word, she ran away. And so I followed her.

Me: Grace! I can explain.

Grace: What are you going to explain!? That I'm stupid enough to sense that you and Jack have something more than just being best friends? (Angrily)

Me: Why are you even mad, Grace? Do you feel like I'm stealing Jack from you? Grace, Jack has been my best friend way before you became in a relationship!

Grace: Yeah, you're right! But you're just his best friend!

Me: Yes, I know. I'm only his best friend..

Grace: Oh, come on, Kim! I know you look at Jack more than a best friend! Just admit it. You did all these makeover and changed yourself just for him to notice you. Why?! Because you want him to see you differently?

Me: No. I changed myself so that all of you would see the real me. *broke down in tears*

Dad: Kim! (Mad)

It was just me and dad. Grace ran inside the house.

Dad: Kim, I think I don't know a lot about you now. Ever since you had a makeover. You're arguing with your cousin just because of Jack? And then now you're joining the slow dance competition? You haven't even asked for a permission. You know that I don't like those kind of things for you, right!?

Me: What do you want for me dad? For me to hide the real me forever? To pretend I'm not interested in girls stuff?

Dad: Why, Kim? What do you want to happen with your life? To be like your mother? Your mother who left us?

Me: Dad, I'm different from mom.

Dad: Yeah, but soon enough!

Me: But I'm not like her. And please trust me that I won't be like her.

Dad: Then why do you need to join that contest?

Me: For a change, dad. I don't wanna be stuck here forever. I don't wanna be treated like one of the boys anymore. I wanna at least feel that I'm a real girl sometimes.

Dad: Oh so thats what you want? Aren't you happy with your life now? I thought you were my partner.

Me: Exactly, dad. I'm always your partner but not your daughter. *broke down in tears* You never even ask me what I really want.

Dad: You never told me. You've always acted like a boy. So now you're telling me that you're just being forced? Is that it?!

Me: *more tears* Dad, no. That's not it. Sometimes don't you ever think about me appreciating a dress? That maybe I'd like others to see me as a real girl? That sometimes I'd also want others to tell me that I'm beautiful. Because honestly dad, sometimes, the way you're always stopping me from being like mom, it's like you're stopping me from being the real me. I know you were hurt when mom left us, dad. I understand why you wouldn't ever want to talk about her or even mention her name. But I was also hurt, dad. *broke down into more tears and went to my room*

I've never been into an argument with my dad before. I cried a lot.