CHAPTER ELEVEN: BATTLING TOASTERS AND THOSE VOICES IN MY HEAD

Today I am laying siege (Do you like that word? Elphaba taught me) to the toaster. Because it is evil! INDEED! Meg insists that it is not evil, but it is! I will engage in a BATTLE with the TOASTER! HAHA!

I am now hiding beneath the counter. The toaster is firing with all its might! HA! That will not stop me! Butter and flying pieces of hot, burnt bread will not stop FIYERO! HAH!

Now I just threw an ORANGE at the EVIL, EVIL INDEED, TOASTER. It is hurling more toast at me but it WILL NOT WIN! Fiyero will win! FIYERO! (That's me)

Oh no! The toaster has thrown the orange back! And IT'S ON FIRE! AAAAHHHHHH! THE ORANGE IS ON FIRE! ON FIRE! ON FIRE! HELP! HEEEEELLLLLPPPP!

…

…

…

This is Elphaba. I have no clue how Fiyero set the orange on fire- he claims it was the toaster of all things- but I have put it out again. All is well.

CARL…

Lizzie keeps talking to me in my head. You want more, don't you? She asks.

Yes, I think back, I want to remember.

I can't give you it all yet, she says, but here's just a little.

Then I see Summer. We're by the water, in a place that doesn't look anything like Naboo. There's a building behind me and trees every once and a while. Summer is laughing and I'm trying to catch her. The sun is low in the sky, late afternoon. Then, as suddenly as it came, the image is gone.

No!

I can't give you it all-

Why not! I demand.

Because there are bad things too. Too much of your memory at once will hurt you. The people around you, they are not all good. In fact, most are bad. Only I know good.

But what about Summer? Does she know we're in danger? Or is she bad too?

She is good, the young girl's voice tells me, but she is so good she is blinded to the bad people around her. I have a family, a family that is good. Come to us, we can keep the two of you safe from the bad that there is…

But- I begin.

We have a plan, a plan to stop the bad and take control of everything. Once we have control, everyone will be safe. But Summer has a special key to achieving this.

Summer?

Yes. We need her.

Another image fills my mind. Summer again, but she is asleep and I'm carrying her. Then it's gone.

You love her, the voice says.

… yes, I think I do.

Good, she says, come to me and I can teach you how to protect her.

LETTERS TO THE TOASTER FROM FIYERO:

Dear Toaster, you are evil. Indeed. But now Elphaba thinks I'm lying when I tell her that you set the orange on fire, not me. Could you please tell her that YOU set the orange on FIRE, not ME? Thank you, Fiyero

Dear Toaster, you didn't tell Elphaba that you did it. She told Meg and Daisy and Taylor and Brandi that I am crazy. They said "yes, we know." EVIL! Love Fiyero

Dear Toaster, I decided to write you another letter while I am on my spying route. Here is what I have learned so far: 1) I am not the only crazy one! I heard Annie Kind tell Patty May that Carl hears things and sees Push visions 2) Summer is still sick 3) the rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain. Fiyero

Dear Toaster, WHY WON'T YOU WRITE ME BACK? Fiyero

Dear Toaster, Meg says toaster can't write back, because they lack hands and they lack know how. I said comments like that can make an enemy out of a bread-heating-device. Meg said that "bread heating device" was a derogatory term and that the toaster was probably more mad at me now than ever. I said that how would the toaster know if no one ever told him? And SHE said you would know. Because you're like that. So, are you like that? Fiyero

Dear Toaster, you probably already know this (because you can see all) but right now I am spying on Daisy and AJ. They are making out in the library. Actually, they aren't the only ones, Brandi and Brad are in the library too, but they're arguing. And Daisy and AJ are still making out. Brandi and Brad? Arguing. Daisy and AJ? Making out. Hun, I wonder what everyone else is doing. More later! Fiyero

Dear Toaster, maybe Meg is right; maybe you will never write back to me because you can't. or maybe you just hate me. Fiyero P.S. I think it's the second one.

Dear Toaster, WHY DO YOU HATE ME? Fiyero

Dear Toaster, okay, right now, I am spying on Han and Leia, who are making out. IS THAT ALL THESE PEOPLE DO? I guess you wouldn't know, or maybe you would since (according to Meg) you are "Just like that." Okay. Now I am spying on Summer and Taylor and Meg. They are in the younger girls' room. They are watching something on Taylor's datapad. BOORING. Next. Amelia is talking to Padme and Maureen and Elphaba in the big room. I think they are planning Amelia and Luke's wedding! Fun! Maybe I should go offer my WONDERFUL advice! What do you think? Fiyero

Dear Toaster, oh yeah. I forgot you hate me and won't write back. Fiyero

Dear Toaster, it IS unresolved childhood issues, isn't it? Fiyero

Dear Toaster, this isn't working- the constant need of letter and all my time. You're just too needy for me. It's not you, it's me, really. I think we should break this off before it goes too far. THAT'S IT. I'm dumping you. Have a nice life. Fiyero

Later...

Summer is kinda freaking out right now. And not in her normal way, in a bad way. Everything has been crazy with her since Carl got ka-bonked on the noggin. Crazier than normal, I mean. But after dinner today she said that Carl pulled her aside and told her that he has been getting little bits of his memory back and that he's been getting Force visions and that he realizes that he loves her and that they aren't safe here, with us. She said he said that he knows of some people that can keep them safe and that they should go find them. He says that WE ARE ALL DANGEROUS TO HIM AND SUMMER!

Well, as you can imagine that went over JUST SWELL with Summer and know she's all freaking out in our room with all of us and Padme trying to calm her down.

Padme: Just take deep breaths Summer, deep breaths. It's all going to be okay. It's just the amnesia talking.

Summer: *CRYING* B-but he said he needed to take me away from here b-because everyone would try to h-hurt me! He said w-we w-weren't safe! *CRYING MORE* I just don't underst-stand!

Daisy: Do you want something to drink?

Summer: N-n-no thanks.

See what I mean? Anyway, after Carl made this big screech he told Summer that he loved her so, so much and that he needed to keep her safe above all else. Normally, I'd think that that was the cutest thing this side of the galaxy, but then he said that the little girl in his head would help him learn to keep her safe. And that the little girl in his head would help him find a safe place. So, yeah. CREEPY.

Summer: *CRYING STILL* What did he mean- the little girl in his head? I j-just don't get it!

Brandi: Maybe he's hearing voices in his head.

Summer: Oh my gosh! *SOBS*

Padme: It could be just the Force. Anakin says that the Force and all the evil presence we feel could be effecting Carl's brain patterns due to the amnesia.

Summer: Ever since the accident, the nightmares just keep getting worse!

Taylor: Don't worry, everything will be alright!

Padme: Just trust the Force.

Meg (ME!): and God. Trust God, Summer.

Dear Toaster, yes, it's me again. Fiyero, again. I know I said that we were over, but I needed to ask you something. Do you believe in true love? NO! Not for US, silly, silly toaster! Just true love generally. Do you believe in that? Fiyero

Dear Fiyero, Why are you writing letters to the toaster? Elphaba

Dear Elphaba, because Meg says that Toaster is probably depressed because no one believes in Toaster and that Toaster needs Toaster's self-esteem boosted. Fiyero

Dear Fiyero, ever heard of pronouns? "Meg says the Toaster is probably depressed and no one believes in IT and that IT needs ITS self-esteem boosted." And that's just ludicrous. Toasters don't HAVE self-esteem! Elphaba

Dear Toaster, don't listen to Fae, she's mean sometimes. Fiyero

Dear Fiyero, DON'T WRITE TO THE TOASTER ABOUT ME! Elphaba

Dear Elphaba, are you jealous of my relationship with the Toaster? Fiyero

Dear Fiyero, JEALOUS of a TOASTER? No. You have delusions of grandeur. Elphaba

Dear Fiyero and Elphaba, care for some breakfast? MWA HA HA HA HA HA! Toaster

Dear everyone, TOASTER! IT LIVES! Fiyero

Dear "Toaster," cut it out AJ! Elphaba

A MEETING OF THE PEOPLE WHO ATTEND THE 'JOY OF DANCE' STUDIO (JOD FOR SHORT,) AND THEIR FRIENDS, ON THE TOPIC OF SUMMER, CARL, AND THEIR PROBLEMS:

This meeting includes Peter, Taylor, Brandi, Brad, Daisy, AJ, Lane, and me- Meg. Taylor called it to order even though I'm usually the one with the meeting that have long titles and suc-

Taylor: You ARE the one with the long meeting titles! I just said we should talk about Summer and Carl! Not hold a whole meeting!

Whatever. It's kinda depressing, I mean, if they can't make it can anyone?

Brad: Maybe it isn't "meant to be."

Brandi: Shut up.

Meg (Me.): But they are "MEANT TO BE!" It's True love! They're like a- a- a peanut butter and jelly sandwich!

Taylor: Ew.

Daisy: How are they like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?

Meg: Oh EASY. Summer is the Jelly and Carl is the Peanut butter.

AJ: Ooooh-kaaaayyyy…

Meg: BECAUSE. Summer is sweet and fruity- or something- like jelly and peanut butter has protein and is strong, like Carl!

Brandi: What?

Meg: ANNNDDDDD jelly is more delicate and graceful- or something.

Lane: What's the bread?

Meg: um… THIS ISN'T ABOUT BREAD. Why is everything about bread? It' about Summer and Carl! Back to them!

Back to Summer and Carl.

"What should we do? We have to help them," Brandi said.

Taylor nodded, "Maybe," she said, "We should talk to Carl."

"But he thinks we're evil," Peter pointed out.

"We can prove to him we're not," Daisy offered.

"How?" Lane said, "The man is insane."

"What about these voices he claims to hear? Anyone know anything about that?" AJ asked.

"Summer said he was hearing a little girl's voice," Taylor offered.

"Like a little-little girl? Or little girl in the way that High School seniors call eight graders little?" I asked.

"I don't know!"

"What if we talk to Anakin and Padme? Or Leia and Luke?" Daisy said.

"I already talked to Padme," said Taylor, "She says we should just wait it out and trust the force and keep an eye on Carl."

"Leia said pretty much the same thing," I added.

"So we wait," Lane said.

TWO DAYS LATER:

Well we waited. And look where THAT got us! Carl has gone missing! Yes, that's right! Gone without a trace! Summer is beside herself with grief. Great. More merry misadventures! Huzzah.

OH NO! The bad things just keep coming! LRose000/Brandi, Haha, I love your review! Yes Lizzie! Soooo SCARY! Elphaba?

Elphaba: Jedi Annie Scrambler does not own Wicked, RENT, or Star Wars.

Meg: I HAVE ANOTHER PRESS RELEASE! *shakes paper* LRose000/Brandi, Phantom, Daisy and Taylor all get brownies for review the last- and other- chapters! …Wait that's it? WHAT ABOUT SUMMER?

JAS: Yes Meg, shut up.

Meg: HEY!

JAS: All who review get *cyber* Lindt chocolate! *cough, cough*