Okay!

So heres the chapter where you get a first person vision into Dimitri's mind and what's going on in there after Rose has died! FIRST EVER! Woot woot!

Enjoy :)

***Dimitri POV***

As I walked down the hall for the third time today to see Rose, I walked past two of the guards talking to each other. I ignored them at first when I passed them, but ducked around the closest corner and listened in carefully once the taller one of the two mentioned her name.

"Poor man," the taller one said. "He just hasn't been the same since that Rose Hathaway died. Pity, too. She was just as good of a guardian as he was, even better, but now we lost her, Dimitri has just lost his will."

The shorter one agreed. "Yeah. Just gone through all that to be together, and then she drops dead," I cringed. "But it's been a month. A normal guardian would have gotten over it by now."

"He's no normal guardian, Jack. And I think he really loved her. I mean, that's his third time to go and see her today. I wish they would just hurry up and burry her stinking body already. They have the grave set out and everything."

"So what's the hold up?" the taller one asked.

"I think the princess is still trying to save her. She goes over and tries almost as much as that Dimitri guy. I think he's influencing her to keep trying, though I doubt it. Vasilisa is very hard to influence." Jack sighed. "It's love, Cam. It can make a man loco."

"Do you think the spirits will stop trying to suck our brains out now?" Cam asked suddenly. "You know, since that Rose girl isn't here anymore. Do you think they're still outside the ward waiting for the princess too or just given up and gone home?"

"Home? Do ghosts even have homes?"

Cam rolled his eyes. "All I know is that guy is one seriously unlucky dude."

"Yeah man. And she was easy on the eyes too."

Cam sighed. "Poor guy."

Jack nodded. "Yeah. Maybe we should take him out for a drink later?"

"Maybe you should mind your own business and let him grieve." Cam replied.

They said nothing on the subject anymore, not that I wanted to hear anything more they had to say about my miserable life and how much they pitied me. I had told people I wasn't looking for a pity party and asked to respect my own space…but apparently that didn't stop people talking about it, even though it had been a month.

Ten more days to save her, and then she's gone forever.

And that was if she hadn't already found the light. Maybe she was already gone, and I was left here, a sucker, to wallow in guilt.

I kept walking down the hall, surprisingly crowded since it only led to a few places that both Moroi and Dhampirs didn't visit very often.

I squeezed past two people walking down the hall holding each other's hands, taking up the entire width of walking space. I rounded three corners and busted through two double doors before I reached the morgue. Kathy was the usual person who worked here, so she knew I would be coming sooner or later. She just gestured towards the door, knowing I knew where she would be.

Lissa was already there, her eyes closed in deep concentration, and her arms spread over Rose, not touching her, but hovering over her like a fortune teller.

She heard me walk towards her and she dropped her hands and looked at me before standing up and walking over to me.

"Dimitri, you know I don't want to give up…I would give anything to have her back…but I know when enough is enough. She's gone, Dimitri. I haven't been able to get a glimpse at her for the past month, and I won't get it in ten days. We need to let her go." Her voice was cracking, like she was trying to hold tears back herself. "There's just no hope for her anymore."

I sighed and hung my head. "Thank you, Lissa. For trying. I know, and I'm sorry."

She smiled sadly. "I wish she was here. She'd know what to do."

I let her hug me, but only for a short while. It was so very easy to get lost in the idea that I was hugging Rose when I closed my eyes, even if it was only for three seconds.

Of course I feared that I would never be able to let her go. That was why I had asked her to marry me, so I would never have to.

But what I still wanted to know was how she knew she was going to die? What game? What was she talking about? And how was it so accurate?

It saddened me to know I would never be able to find that out, and it would keep me awake for a long while.

Was it so easy to predict when you were going to die?

I thought about Rose and what it must be like to float around outside the wards. Was she trying to get in? Or was she as free as a bird?

Wards….

Wards….

Oh, my goodness.

"Lissa!" I shouted, running in the direction she had left in.

***ROSE POV***

Life was lonely when you were a lost soul. Yeah, that was our technical name, apparently. Not alive, not dead. Us who had chosen to roam the earth for as long as we could.

I just couldn't let go of it.

The others had spread rumours of people coming back to this stage from the other side, and how glorious and free it was.

Most of those people who truly believed it was possible to come back had forgotten everything but their names of their past life. I could slowly feel myself loosing parts of my memory, no matter how hard I tried to hang on to it.

It worked, if I thought about the memory I didn't want to loose. I played it over and over in my head, again and again until I was sure I wouldn't forget it. I was working hard to keep them, but it was only in the last five days where you really went insane with your thoughts.

And I thought my mind and I were screwed before.

"Rainbows and stuffed animals and bunnies and kitties and….and…"George chanted under one of the many trees that surrounded the academy.

"GEORGE! Shut your mouth! You're dead! There aren't going to be anymore rainbows or stuffed animals or kitties or bunnies." Ralph snarled at George as he walked by.

George shrunk back like he had been slapped.

I leaned against the academy wall, the closest I could get to the ward, and the school, and Lissa and Dimitri. Ralph moved to sit next to me.

"Well that was subtle." I said sarcastically.

"He's a stupid moron." He growled.

"And you're not?"

He glared at me. "No. I am not, actually. He was stupid enough to run into a battle without a cause or hope, and look where it's got him."

"Says the dead man who screams and shouts because he loved his life so much it must be everyone else's fault he's dead." I said evenly. I was really paying noticeable attention to him.

He shut up for a moment, so I kept talking while I 'stood' up.

"You keep telling yourself that you don't care that you died, that you had lived a full life and you are leaving nothing behind. But I know, and you know, that's not the case. Everybody leaves something behind, Ralph. You're just so obnoxious to notice you're 'fulfilled' life is what you miss most."

"And here I thought you were the only one in this place that feels the same way I do about dying." He muttered. "You sit there most days like nothing ever bothers you, and I heard about you, Rose Hathaway. But maybe the rumours were wrong."

"Rumours are lies made up for people's entertainment. But news travels, I guess. What exactly did you hear?"

"At fifteen you escaped with the princess to go shopping for two years. Very impressive that you could stay away for that long." He added. I wasn't in the mood for taking compliments. "When they finally caught you, they forced you to train. You dropped out of school again, and then came back. You graduated with flying colours but then escaped again and let Victor Dashkov out of prison. Seems like you weren't gonna miss much, if you ask me."

I pressed my hand against the ward, the closest I could get to touching anything recently.

"I lost my best friend and the love of my life. And this damn ward is the only thing that is keeping me from seeing them….one last time…."

"Pussy." He muttered.

"You know what?" I said, suddenly irritated. "If I have to spend eternity with you, I am going to be so pissed."

"Yo! Rose!"

I turned around slowly to see Elena looking at the gate.

"Who…who were your little friends again?"

I went up to her quickly and looked out the gate too.

There was me. There was Lissa. There was Dimitri. There was Mark. There was Adrian, all looking lost with a bit of excitement.

What the hell were they doing?

***Yeah I know! OMG more than two scenes! But I couldn't just leave it there! You call me cruel, but how cruel would THAT be?***

Stupid, hot, sexy, god-like creature! No!

He was trying to bring me back.

Adrian and Dimitri set my body just outside the gate. I guessed they were still cautious about the 'ghosts' that were coming after them. Not that I would let anything happen to them.

"Now this is going to get…quite dangerous, I think. The ghosts can be very unpredictable, as you may already know…" Mark said.

"Is she out there?" Lissa asked.

I turned to the others. "You guys might want to…"

They caught my drift, dispersing into the trees, out of sight, though I knew they would be watching and waiting to see what would happen.

"Give me a sec," Mark closed his eyes to concentrate.

I sighed and went to sit back in my usual spot to watch Dimitri and Lissa. Those were the faces I would miss most, if I remembered them at all after this.

Mark opened his eyes and looked around again, locking his eyes on me in an instant. I didn't know that Mark could do this like I could, but I sensed it wasn't exactly the same thing.

"There," he said simply, and everyone's eyes were on the space around me. Only Mark knew exactly where I was, so the others were looking up and around me, like they were trying to guess where I was.

"Roza." Mark said calmly. "Can you speak? Rose? Answer me?"

I suddenly didn't feel like talking, but I pushed past my ghost PMS and put on my best smile. "I can try."

I didn't know if he heard me or not, but I guessed by his reaction that he could only barely make the words out.

"She's here. Now we can try."

"Are you not going to ask me?" I shouted. Mark didn't hear me.

A light exploded from behind me, and both Mark and I turned towards it. Lissa, Adrian and Dimitri hesitated, studying Mark's reaction.

When I saw the light, I knew instantly what it was. I saw the others creep out of the shrubs cautiously, to get a better glimpse, out of the corner of my eyes.

This was our light.

And it was so wonderful. It was everything I could ever imagine. All the good things. No tricks. No lies. No rumours.

Just me, in the place I craved to be in.

That was what I needed from my life.

To see their faces again.

I took a step towards the light, but Mark's panicked voice stopped me.

"Rose! Guys, if you want to start it, do it now. The light, if you don't do it now, she'll be gone. ROSE!"

"Why do you want to chase me from the place I want to be?" I asked him. He heard me. "Who…who are you to say who I am and what I want. I…Who are you?"

"We're loosing her, guys! Do it now!"

One of the guys, the one that was less muscly, was smooth and cool. "I thought you didn't approve of this, Mark."

"I'm stating a fact."

He rolled his eyes.

The girl rested her hands on the body, and it took me a minute to realise what she was trying to do.

I started to fade away, drawn to both the light and the body. I was being tugged in two different ways….it hurt.

I screamed as Mark told Lissa to stop.

"She's coming! I can feel her! She's coming!"

I screamed one more, large and ear piercing scream that made Mark cringe before my soul was ripped in half.

Hey guys!

You cant count that as me killing her again, but because, technically, I just killed her more haha!

So tomorrow I get my doctors appointment, so I'm a little nervous. I need my tonsils out, I know, but I don't like needles! Waa! But its for the best, I guess…. Thanks for the concern anyway guys! I really appreciate it!

R&R!

Lauren