A/N: Aha! I did it! Barely over a month and I updated... That's good right? Well, better. Thanks so much for all the support guys.

ENJOY!

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Chapter X: Reconciliation

"I know that we never get over great losses; we absorb them, and they carve us into different, often kinder, creatures." - Gail Caldwell

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Sprawled out on her couch with her feet propped up on the far end, no one would've ever guessed that Sumi was actually nervous. But they would be very wrong, which was not surprising. People guessed wrong a lot when it came to her. Even her lovable dunce of a husband got it wrong sometimes. 'Takeo tries though,' she placated herself. Ever since she'd ran into her sister that morning, an uneasy feeling had settled in her gut. She knew her sister better than Takeo knew the inside of their fridge – God bless his paunchy soul – and Ren was throwing everything she had into this case.

Now, this hardly differed from the norm Sumi'd come to know. The only thing was this wasn't a case Ren could put herself into so whole-heartedly. At least not without a whole lot of scarring to be had. Sumi had been with the department for a long time – longer than her sister at any rate. She'd seen cases like this before, knew the effect it had on the officers who worked them. It took tough skin and an ability to distance yourself from the case to make it out with only minor scars and a head of bad memories. Ren would tear herself apart if someone didn't give her a good smack across the face.

And Sumi was mid smack right now.

When she'd had seen her just standing on that doorstep with her eyes closed, she'd had to step in. Ren looked worse than she'd seen her in years. The last time she'd looked so harrowed was when her first boyfriend had broken up with her while they were stuck at the hospital with their Uncle Hatari, who was having heart surgery. And then there was Ren snapping at her that morning – legitimately, not playfully. Another first time in a long time. Her sister was bitchy at times, but never honestly mad at her.

But she guessed that could be a good thing. Normally, Ren kept everything bottled up and let it eat away at her, doing God knew what to her psych. Perhaps ranting a little about it did her some good. Of course, she was blaming herself within that rant ... All press was good press, Sumi supposed.

Ugh, and speaking of ... The long-haired woman flipped the TV off. Even though it had only been a few hours since the block incident, every station on the radio and television was covering it, and none of them were saying very nice things about her sister. 'Damn it, Ren. What were you thinking when you promised them safety?' She hadn't been able to talk to her after the press conference, but that move on Ren's part had smacked of trouble, regardless of any good intent on her sister's part. WIK had proved that he didn't care who was on the other side of the knife, rope, syringe – Sumi'd done several autopsies of his work already – whatever. An entire block of civilians who had no connections to the Kira Case had been murdered, and from where the public stood, it looked really bad for Ren.

Many were calling for her to be removed entirely since she'd proven herself inept and a liar. Oh that made Sumi mad. Stupid cows. Like they could do any better. Luckily, Aizawa had released a statement earlier that despite the tragic occurrence of what had been dubbed 'The Block Massacre,' Ren would remain in charge for the time being, and that there was no way this event could've been predicted at the time of the last press conference. Good on the chief. Sumi'd always like him – even back when he'd had that stick wedged up his ass.

Just then, Sumi's kettle started whistling in the kitchen, and she got up to take it off the heat. Ren had called a little while ago, so she had put on some tea. She also had a pint of ice cream and some homemade mochi for emergencies. Tilting her head side to side, Sumi decided this was close enough to an emergency and pulled those out too. Now, she just had to wait.

Soon enough, a knock sounded at the door, and the pathologist hastily made her way to answer it. When she opened the door, Sumi inwardly sighed with relief. Ren hardly looked like she was feeling one hundred percent, but the circles under her eyes were lighter. Her clothes were also in better shape, clean and less wrinkled.

Satisfied with what she saw, Sumi stepped back and nodded towards the kitchen – their usual meeting spot. "Come on. I've got tea and desserts."

Ren just nodded and quietly followed her in. Once she'd sat down at the kitchen table, she blurted out, "I'm sorry for earlier. It's been a bad week."

Sumi snorted, passing her a mug before taking a seat across the table from her. "No kidding."

"If it makes you feel any better, you're not the only person I have to apologize to."

"Ha! Fantastic." She rolled her eyes as she picked up a piece of mochi. "Who else faced the wrath of Ren."

Wincing, she took a sip of her drink. "One of the guys on my team."

"Ogawa, Tsukino, or Matsuda?" Sumi asked, popping the carton of ice cream open.

Frowning, Ren stood up and retrieved two spoons without prompting. "It was Yuya ... Matsuda's not even on my team."

"Could've fooled me with how much he's got his fingers in everything."

Ren shrugged, dipping out a massive spoonful of vanilla. "He's got good reason to be interested, and I'm certainly not going to tell him to leave when he shows up when we happen to be discussing the case. He's really insightful."

"Huh..."

"What?" Ren asked, biting into a piece of mochi.

"Nothing. Nothing." Sumi waved her off. Not that Ren was particularly vain, but she was prideful. Normally, she didn't care for outside advice or opinions. It was like she thought they were correcting her or something. It was an odd change to hear her say something like that. That deserved a bit of investigative work of her own.

Letting the subject drop, Ren glanced around as she registered the tranquility of the house. "Where are the kids?"

After she swallowed another bite of ice cream, Sumi answered, "School was canceled today because of what happened with the murders, turns out a few kids in their class were related to a few of the victims, so I told Takeo to take them on a field trip or something."

"Oh," Ren replied simply, her face darkening at the reminder, and she carefully set her spoon down.

"Can we not?" Sumi asked suddenly, a little bit of frustration leaking into her voice despite her best efforts to remain even.

"Not what?"

"Go through the whole spiel where you blame yourself, and I argue against it. It's a lot of effort to defend someone against themselves you know, and I'm not nearly so self-sacrificing to pander to you right now." Really, she was tired of her sister doing that to herself, and she damn well wasn't going to tip-toe around the subject of WIK around her. Sumi didn't tip-toe – she stomped.

Irritated, Ren ran a hand through her hair, an odd look entering her eye. "I can't just turn it off. Especially when I've got an entire city agreeing with me."

It seemed she'd turned on the TV at some point today. "Tell me," she began, crossing her legs. "How does this whining make you a better detective."

"I told you to take this seriously."

Sumi's face hardened. If Ren wanted to act like this, then it was time for some tough love. "Oh, I'm dead serious. How is your crying over some dead people fixing anything?"

Gripping the edge of the table, Ren was able to keep her temper better controlled this time now that she'd been able to rest for a while. "They're people that were killed because I made a call to tell them they were safe from WIK."

"Do you even listen when other people talk?" Ren flinched from the words. "Listen to me now," she instructed slowly. "You do not control what a psychopath does. You made a bad call, yes. But how is blaming yourself helping anyone?"

"I have to hold myself accountable or -"

"Don't worry. You've got a city full of idiots ready to do just that for you already." Pausing to let that sink in, Sumi took a drink of tea. "Don't add to their numbers."

When Ren didn't say anything for a long time, Sumi massaged her temples. How ironic that she still got a headache on the one day she didn't have two kids screaming in her ears. Sighing, she summed up, "Look, my point is that you need to focus more on finding and stopping WIK than on how much you think you messed up."

Propping her elbows up on the table, Ren let her head fall into her hands. "I know," she whispered, voice sounding strangled. "Believe me, I know. It's just so hard when all I can see is their faces. Even when I slept earlier, I saw them in my dreams, blaming me for killing them."

Standing, Sumi pulled her sister into a hug, propping her chin on top of Ren's head. For a moment, Sumi wasn't sure exactly what to say. "I know it's hard," she finally said, voice grim. She wished she could comfort her sister, but Ren would be better off with the truth. And her sister was strong; she could handle it. "And it's going to get harder, probably by a lot, but you have to keep pushing. The best way to make it up to WIK's victims is to stop him, and you will. You've always been a kickass detective," she finished, giving Ren one final squeeze before she returned to her seat.

"Thank you," Ren told her after a minute.

"You good now?" Sumi asked before shoving an entire mochi into her mouth.

"Better, I think," Ren admitted as she hesitantly picked up her spoon.

Shrugging, Sumi tilted the carton of ice cream towards her enticingly. "So, anything new with you?" Now that the heavy stuff was out of the way, she decided they could move on to better subjects.

Tapping the fingers of her free hand against her chin, Ren casually scooped out another bite of ice cream. "Well, it turns out I got kidnapped by L two days ago."

Sumi choked on her tea, and Ren laughed. What the hell? When she settled down, she sputtered, "Care to explain that one?"

"Sure thing," Ren agreed. They spent the next few hours simply talking and filling each other in on what was new, and when Ren eventually left, Sumi was content in the knowledge that she at least took some of her words to heart. Good. Sumi was one step away from straight up slapping her, physically not metaphorically, and she wasn't in the mood to hurt her hand.

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"Hey, Matsuda, where are you headed?" one of his co-workers, Tadahiro was his name, called out as he made his way out of the station around seven-thirty that evening and fell into step beside him.

"I'm meeting someone for dinner," he explained politely, but vaguely.

"Oh, you got a hot date tonight?"

Laughing a tad awkwardly, Matsuda scratched the back of his neck. "Something like that." The other man just laughed at that, and Matsuda gave a quick goodbye as they turned in opposite directions, heading into the cool evening air.

In truth, it wasn't a date he was going on at all. He was going to meet with Ren and talk to her about how her meeting with L went as he had a vested interest. However, Aizawa had already scolded him once that day for his continued involvement in the Unmatchable Murder Cases, and he hardly wanted to get yelled at again. Honestly though, after having known him for so long, did Aizawa really expect him to keep his nose out of this? Even if he hadn't been so heavily connected to the Kira Case, he would've wanted to be a part of this one. But since it was connected, Matsuda refused to have no part in it.

Besides, Aizawa's hands were too full with the public for him to really notice.

Still, he wouldn't be able to take charge of it like he wanted to without being noticed, and when it all ended, he wouldn't get any recognition for his part. For the first, that was something he could deal with. So far, he'd been able to keep himself up-to-date on all the inner-workings of this case, and even though he didn't think Ren minded any of his less than subtle inquiries – meddling some would say – or at least she hadn't given any indication that she minded, he wondered if she would let him work with them on it. As for the second part, he had never cared much about getting recognition of that sort. He wanted to be valued and useful true, and even the recognition for a job well-done was satisfying as all hell, but it wasn't the end all be all. Ever since he'd joined the department, his main focuses had been to help people by getting rid of criminals and being useful to society as a whole.

Earlier that day, about a half hour after Ren had left to meet with Ryuzaki, Matsuda had left a message on her answering machine asking about the reclusive detective. She had only gotten back to him roughly an hour before and asked if they could discuss it in person, so he suggested they meet at a small diner he knew of off Kinumachi Street called the Blooming Orchid, saying they had good udon and donburi there.

Luckily, it sat not too far from the station, and he could walk the distance on foot. Few people walked the streets that evening due to the poor weather. For most of the day, the skies had been grey and swollen, but around five that afternoon, they had burst open and sent torrents of rain down. Now that he thought about it, Matsuda realized they had been having a premature raining season this year, and he wondered if it would extend into the usual raining season as well. Honestly, he didn't mind the rain so much even though he had a lot of bad memories associated with it. He liked it because it gave everything a fresh new feeling, and even being caught in it wasn't so bad when you had an umbrella like he did.

A few minutes passed, and soon enough, he found himself at the aforementioned diner. Glancing at his watch, he saw that he was only a few minutes late and wondered if Ren was already inside. It was just about then that the sounds of hurried footsteps and a few curses drew his attention. Looking in the direction it came from, Matsuda saw a woman with dark hair, jeans and a light jacket running down the street towards him, and after a moment, he realized it was Ren herself.

He waved at her in greeting, but she didn't even slower her pace. Instead, she barreled through and linking her soaked arm around his dry one, she dragged him inside.

"Sometimes, I really hate the rain," Ren muttered, more to herself than him, as they stepped out of the freezing torrent and into the warmly lit restaurant.

With her short hair plastered to her face and her clothes dripping, she looked half-drowned, and a sizable puddle was pooling below her. When they saw the mess she was making, one of the staff members brought out a small hand towel she could use to dry off with, which she thanked them graciously for as they gave her a strained smile.

"Where's your umbrella?" Matsuda asked as he led her over to a small table near the back of the building.

Ren shrugged. "I don't have one. Normally, I don't need it." After they sat down, she gave a short laugh.

"What?" he asked, confused at her change in demeanor.

She shook her head. "You're terrible at giving directions, you know that?"

"Why do you say that?"

"I've been wandering around this area for the past half hour looking for this place," she told him, unfolding her napkin and placing it over her lap. "I finally broke down and asked for directions from a little shop owner up the street."

"Eh, that sounds more like you're just bad at following directions," he teased. "I got here just fine."

"I'd be more worried if you didn't since you've been here before."

Just then, their waiter arrived and took their drink order. They spent the next few minutes discussing trivial matters, but after he returned with their drinks and they ordered their entrees, the two sobered and began discussing what Matsuda had actually called her there for.

"So, I take it this meeting with Ryuzaki went better than the first one?" he asked before taking a drink of water.

Shrugging, she idly picked at the table cloth. "I guess. Well, I mean, I'm not ready to shoot his face in this time ... He's still an ass though."

Matsuda laughed. "You sound like Aizawa right now."

"Huh?"

"Back when we worked on the Kira Case," Matsuda explained, "Aizawa had about the same attitude as you do about Ryuzaki. I tried to mediate a couple of times though it didn't really work since no one listened to me back then."

Curious, Ren raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Why not?"

Matsuda actually blushed a little, remembering how his younger self had acted at times. Though he supposed he should give himself a little leeway since he had been pretty new to the force, it still embarrassed him when he thought of what all he'd done. Scratching the back of his neck, he finally answered, "Ah, well, I was a pretty different person then." Then, perhaps a little hastily, he changed the subject. "Anyways, what did L say to you this time?"

With a sigh, she propped her elbows up on the table. "His main point was that we're more or less in the middle of a very one-sided waiting game. Until we know more, the best thing we can do is sort through those files you put together. Oh, he also mentioned that WIK probably has OCD."

Matsuda nodded. "That makes sense, and it helps narrow your search down quite a bit."

"Other than that though, we don't have many leads to go on." For a moment, she looked distant, even vaguely concerned, but it was gone in a flash. Then she more or less gave him an exact rundown of all that was said between her and Ryuzaki though her expression was strained and perhaps a little too jovial for the subject matter. However, despite his suspicion, Matsuda didn't pursue the subject just yet.

As their food arrived, Ren shrugged, adding, "Oh, he also insulted me some more."

It was Matsuda's turn to shrug then. "He takes a while to grow on you. Though it sounds like he's different now."

"How so?" Ren asked, genuinely curious. They'd never really talked with anyone about L outside of those who knew him. Perhaps Aizawa had spoken with Aiko on it a little bit when she was writing that paper. In other words, it was likely she knew very little of him, or at least how he had been.

Matsuda took a moment to think, digging into his food. "It'd be easier if I'd seen him in person with you, but it sounds like he's ... I don't know, hardened. He just sounds different is all, more harsh."

"Oh," she answered simply, and he felt the need to defend the genius detective.

"I don't think it's completely his fault. From what you've told me, he hasn't mentioned having someone else working with him, right?"

"What do you mean? He's been a recluse for years."

"Back during ... everything, Kira convinced a Shinigami to try and kill L and his partner. Up to that point, a man named Watari had been helping too," he explained, voice grim. It was not a fond memory, and the death had been a hard one to accept. "They were very close from what I know."

"Oh, I .. see ... How come no one knew about that?" she asked, her food ignored in her curiosity.

"Mainly because the deaths – we'd assumed L was dead at the time too – were going to be kept secret." He glanced down at the table. "We couldn't let the public know how much ground Kira had gained." Coughing, he continued, "Anyways, my original point was that it sounds like he's been completely on his own all these years."

"Why would he do that to himself?"

"He was never very trusting to begin with ..." Trailing off, Matsuda shrugged. "You'd have to ask him that though, and I doubt he'd give you an actual answer."

Ren made a little noise of agreement as she took a bite of her food. For the next few minutes, they remained silent, picking at their food, and Matsuda kept sneaking glances at her out of the corner of his eye. Now that they weren't speaking, that odd expression from earlier had returned. Though there were any number of reasons for the current look, he got the strange feeling this was something new. Unlike earlier when she had looked physically pained and angered, she now seemed distant and lost in thought. However, it wasn't like Matsuda knew her particularly well. Perhaps this was just how she coped with experiences like the Block Massacre and the death of Morino.

Still, ever since he picked her out to work with him and the others on the case, they had begun to become friends, or amicable co-workers at the very least. It was with these thoughts that he felt the need to at least ask, "Are you alright?"

Her attention snapped to him, and briefly, a guilty look crossed her face. "What do you mean?"

"You just seem a bit out of it, I guess."

"Sorry, I just have a lot on my mind," she admitted.

Matsuda nodded. "It's fine. I imagine you do between the recent murders and Ryuzaki."

A strained smile flitted across her features. "Yes, exactly. You know better than most what it's like to deal with that guy."

He noticed she avoided talking about the murders. In truth, he understood her position. When you were facing a ghost like WIK, it was frustrating beyond belief. You felt useless and at times even defeated. Even not directly working on the case anymore, he was frustrated there was nothing he could do. Though he wanted to tell her they would catch their killer soon, it wouldn't make her feel any better. It might even make her feel worse after the recent string of events. No, best to avoid giving any false hope.

Instead, he said, "Just so you know, if you ever want to discuss the case or want help, I'll do what I can."

She nodded slowly. "Won't you get in trouble with Chief Aizawa?"

"Probably," he agreed with a grin.

"Won't I?"

"I'll take full responsibility, I assure you. Plus, Aizawa will know well enough whose idea this was. I'll tell him I tricked you into it."

After a moment, she nodded again, a grin pulling at the corners of her mouth. "Thanks. I might just take you up on it some time, especially if you have more restaurants like this up your sleeve. This is seriously good."

"I'm sure I can come up with something."

After that, they finished their meals with only a little more light conversation, and after they split the check and paid, they made their way to the door.

The rain had yet to let up and displayed no signs of doing so any time soon, and as he watched Ren, who was nearly dry now, stare out the door with resigned trepidation, he decided to take pity on her. After all, Matsuda was nothing if not a gentleman.

"Here."

Looking over at him, she saw the umbrella grasped in his outstretched hand. Immediately, she shook her head. "It's fine, really. I'm headed home anyways."

"Are you sure?"

She glanced between the umbrella and the rain. "How about this," she began, "I'll walk with you to the station since it's pretty much in the right direction for me, and then, if you still feel like parting with it, I can return it to you tomorrow."

Matsuda shrugged. "It's really not a big deal," he said as he opened said umbrella and stepped outside. "But I thought you came from that direction," he pointed in the opposite way of the station.

"Well, yeah, but I was coming from Sumi's. My apartment's a few blocks past the station."

"Sumi's your sister right?"

Ren nodded, falling into step beside him. "Yep. She's actually the one that got me into police work," she admitted, drawing her jacket tighter around herself. Even without the rain soaking them, it was pretty cold outside.

"How did she manage that?" he asked politely.

"Well, she's a little over ten years older than me, so I was, I guess around fifteen when she started working." She laughed for a minute. "She was still living with Mom and Dad when she started, and she'd always come home with these overly gruesome stories from work for me and Cindy. They were supposed to scare us, made Cindy throw up once, heh, but it kinda backfired." She paused. "Well, on my part. Cindy still can't handle that stuff."

He laughed at that. "Is Cindy your other sister? I don't ever hear either of you mention her much."

The mirth faded from her eyes then, and for a moment, he wanted to take back the question. "Yeah, she's our younger sister. She's a big photographer for some American magazine. Her and my mother live there now," Ren explained, sounding a bit put out.

However, Matsuda was hardly about to push on the subject. "I see."

"Do you have any siblings?" she asked, glancing at him out of the corner of her eye.

Nodding, he cringed as a car zoomed by on the street and splashed them when it hit a puddle. "Yeah, I have an older brother named Otogi. He works for a corporation

ration in the Kansai Region as their head accountant."

"It's a nice area," she offered. "Since I told you, how did you end up working at the department?"

Matsuda just shrugged. "I've always liked the idea of being able to help people, but I never thought I'd do well as a doctor or something like that. Whenever the time came, it just seemed like the natural choice I guess."

They would've continued their conversation, but at that moment, they reached the department. Before she could protest, Matsuda shoved the umbrella into her hands. "Thanks for filling me in on everything, and remember my offer."

Smiling obligingly, she nodded. "Will do." With nothing more to say, she gave a quick 'goodbye' and turned to make her way down the street, and he entered the station. He realized that the concerned, distant expression hadn't made any more appearances on their way back, and he almost wondered if perhaps it had been his imagination all along. And if it had been there, it made him glad he could distract her from whatever problem she was facing, if only for a little while. Sitting back down at his desk, he began sorting through the stacks of paperwork Aizawa had assigned him as punishment with a sigh. Even if it wasn't all in his head, he couldn't force Ren to tell him what was going on.

Only time would tell, he supposed. Though he did hope she would let him be more involved in the case even if it was off the record. That was a long shot though.

~}(3){~

Pacing back and forth in her living room, Ren refreshed her computer page each time she passed. She desperately needed to talk to L, and he hadn't contacted her yet like he promised he would. When she'd gotten home earlier, there were two messages and an email waiting for her. It turned out the two messages were from Matsuda and, oddly enough, her mother, who had apparently caught wind that she was working a high-profile case and wanted her to be careful, and she had assumed the email was from L. Now, it was said email that she really needed to discuss with him.

After the fourteenth lap, Ren forced herself to stop. Taking a deep breath, she flung herself down on the couch. Part of Ren was extremely unnerved – completely and thoroughly – but another, stronger, part of her was determined and knew something like that could mean a major turning point in the case. But she was treading a very thin line right now. It could back fire in a heart beat if she didn't play this close to her hand.

Ren was a big girl, and after her conversation with Sumi, she knew that even though she'd made a mistake – a grotesquely monumental one – she had to move on if she was to be of use to anyone. Later, after all this was over, she could sulk as much as she liked, preferably with a bottle of rice-wine or ten, but she had to stay focused on the case and do whatever it took to keep from making the same mistakes.

That was why she wanted to talk to L. Now.

Instead of just proceeding on her own, Ren wanted his advice on the subject so she wouldn't end up causing more trouble. In her opinion, they could use this to their advantage, so she wanted to email them back. However, it seemed that she couldn't trust her own judgment entirely anymore, so she would talk to him. And depending on the route they chose, they couldn't let a lot of people know about this, and it might need to stay between only her and him.

After a few more minutes passed, she strode over and refreshed the page. Her heart skipped a beat. There it was.

No Subject:

Ms. Gushike. Here is the promised means of communication. However, I would

appreciate it if you refrained from flooding my inbox with benign matters.

Sincerely,

Rue Ryuzaki

As she began to type out her reply, she rolled her eyes at the jab, but then she paused, giving the computer a wary glance. Ren would admit that cybernetics was not her most polished skill. As such, she wasn't completely aware of the extent of a proficient hacker's capability. Best not to risk it.

With that in mind, she pulled out her phone and spent the next ten minutes creating a new email address and typing out her reply.

Subject: Ren Gushike

Ryuzaki, major new development. Call me now. I don't think I should use my computer

for emails right now.

Ren Gushike

Flipping the phone shut, she bit down on her knuckle. In truth, she wasn't entirely sure how to explain exactly what she felt. Determined still seemed to be the best fit though, she thought. Luckily, she didn't have to wait too long for his call, and soon, her phone began buzzing.

"Ryuzaki," she answered.

"You said you have a new development in the case?"

Ren inhaled sharply through her nose, pausing for just a moment. Then she said, "WIK sent me a message personally."

~}( To Be Continued ){~