"You were Romeo. You were throwing pebbles, and my daddy said, 'Stay away from Juliet!'"
--"Love Story" by Taylor Swift
Chapter Nine: Regret
At first, there is no sound upon her lips, whether theirs or ours. When something truly shocks one, usually one's mindset needs a sort of moment to gather composure. And a situation such as this…'tis not the fact so much that there is composure needed to be gathered rather than the fact that none of us quite knows whether we should move along our merry way and act as though it never happened, or be men and face it.
Touya is the first one to move. In retrospect, I believe that his action then is proof that the body can indeed move without the mind. He begins to shout—rant and rave about the fact that I'm besmirching Sakura's honor, making a mockery of everything engagement stands for and all other curses to his family and I do believe he would've went on were it not for the fact that Kurogane walks up to him and strikes him so hard, he doubles over and falls.
"If you dare say another word," Kurogane says quietly—because I've learned that his growling is none but a sign of his joy, and when he's angry, his voice becomes the deadliest calm. "I will assure you that your family's honor will not be all that shall be punctured."
Even though I know that I deserve everything Touya has just screamed at me, I say nothing. I can't bring myself to meet his eyes. But I can bring myself to meet Yukito's, and his eyes are naught but shocked and saddened. I understand fully why he might be shocked, but I cannot fathom why there is sadness. Surely, he can feel anger and disappointment and condemnation, but why would there be sadness?
Kurogane looks at me, his eyes are so bright in the darkness—so filled with fury and not even the slightest bit worried about the fact that we've been discovered—that they dizzy me. I know that I have to speak soon. I step forward and smile as best I can—a beatific smile to calm Touya. To pacify him, perhaps.
Touya stands up, staggering, and I glimpse Yukito twitch toward him. Yukito reins himself in. He stills into himself. It looks like he wishes to help his companion. But he doesn't want to touch him. I take another step forward. Touya speaks first. He glares at me. "What it is that you are about to say will not make a difference. I am breaking your engagement with Sakura first thing at the morrow."
I ignore that. "And pray tell, what are you two doing out in the forest at the witching hour?"
Kurogane shifts from foot to foot behind me. Touya takes a step. "You haven't a right to question our reasons for going about. I listen not to those who indulge in devilish gifts—who indulge in sin."
That holds fast to my heart. But I continue to smile because I watch as Yukito—the sight unbidden to Touya—looks down at the ground and shuts his eyes, as if he is enduring some great, unbearable pain. It is not my place to judge others, but I would have said that it is Touya's words that hurt Yukito the most. "That isn't an answer."
Kurogane is close enough now that his shoulder is with mine. His hand touches my wrist, and his eyes, I can see, are staring straight for Touya. They are no longer furious. "Lying is a sin," the apprentice says, addressing Touya. "It is against the eighth commandment, and yet you are doing it. You'll not break the engagement. I know you'll not. You also have no place in telling is wrong from right. Especially you. 'Tis not your place to tell."
Yukito's fingers reach out for Touya's shoulder—Touya doesn't see—but then he takes them back and presses his hand to his own chest. "Listen to him," he says softly. "Leave them be. Please." Touya turns around and looks at Yukito for the longest of times, unspeaking and as far as Kurogane and I can tell, expressionless.
It does not seem, but my heart is beating like the drums of war within my chest. Having Kurogane this close—his heat—does nothing for me save for causing the blood to rush, not only to my head, but other places of my body. Places that blood only should rush to for a woman. It frightens and exhilarates. I do not quite know which. I thought that a kiss is merely juvenile. But…any more…and it really will be a sin. I am terrified.
Touya turns back to us. Like Kurogane, his eyes are now no longer angry. Rather, they are as sad as Yukito's. They are almost begging. "If you would forget all I said about honor and such," he said, shaking his head, "and simply do not do this." He addresses me now, "Fai, if you are unhappy with the engagement, simply request of my father to break it. That is all. It'll not be of any insult or offense to Sakura nor our family. Please. But, by the heavens, do not do what you are going about presently."
"Why?" Kurogane's voice is defiant.
Touya looks again to Yukito—who is determinedly watching the lantern—and looks back to Kurogane. "It will do nothing but ruin you. There is a reason that men should not love men. No marriage, no children, no union…what then is to it? 'Tis ridiculous."
My hand slides into Kurogane's to stop him from attacking at Touya's words. Or, that is what I assumed Kurogane would do. But he doesn't. He doesn't even attempt. He merely raises his head a fraction, and snorts. He snorts right at Touya's words of meaning. He snorts and raises an eyebrow and says, "Matters not if 'tis ridiculous or unproductive. 'Tis about the freedom that we might do it anyway."
"Freedom does not always equal happiness," Yukito says quietly.
Kurogane is undaunted. "But with freedom, you'll never regret."
A/N: It's probably the shortest chapter I've ever posted, but I thought (after rereading this and the reviews/pleas) that better short than not at all. So here it is. After countless months and agonizing over whether I should continue this (or am able to) or not, and I've finally found the secret to continuing fics. You find a song that keeps you writing and listen to it while you're writing, even if it means putting the song on eternal repeat. This also means that all of you who don't like Taylor Swift or her song Love Story had better start liking it because it's what gave you this chapter.