Pairing: BL

Disclaimer: We've been over this already, but just to be on the safe side, I don't own anything. There, I said it.

AN: So here it is chapter 11, 11 days later :) Sorry for a late update, RL got in a way as it so often does. I don't live in the USA so I didn't get to see the OTH finale until today and all that BJu was kinda cute but I just don't think they have the chemistry BL had. And speaking of that, I was so disappointed we didn't even get a BL goodbye scene (maybe even a hug)...sigh

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Chapter 11: The end where I begin

Oh the timing is cruel
Oh I need and don't want to need
More than I should...

- Lie in the sound, Transpassers William

----BL----

The sudden feeling of cold pervaded his senses, waking him to a dull pain in his neck, an unpleasant consequence of the uncomfortable position he fell asleep in last night on the couch as he soon came to figure out. His jacket was now lying a few feet away, on the other side of the couch, abandoned. He rubbed his aching neck thinking how this was sort of becoming a bad habit of his, sleeping on small, uncomfortable couches/sofas.

But the pain was soon forgotten as it downed on him that she was obviously gone. Maybe she just left to avoid the awkwardness of the whole 'morning after', but it wasn't like anything happened or she just had somewhere to be so she decided to leave without waking him up, not wanting to disturb his sleep. Or maybe he should stop deluding himself, it was obvious she left to avoid seeing him after everything so he should just do her a favor and leave.

And that was what he wished he could do but right now that distance from the waiting room couch to the elevator seemed almost a mile long. He was willing to let it all go but not yet. Not until he told her the truth. Then he would leave if she wanted it. But before that he had to talk to her. Wasn't that what this trip was all about? There would be no more what ifs in his life.

After all, how often did you have a discovery as big as this one and were lucky enough to have a person it was about just a few short feet away? Not that often he figured.

So he stood up determined to go and find her no matter what when she walked in, looking like she has just woken up, in a different outfit that couldn't cover up just how worn out she was.

"Hey, I just went to the bathroom down the hallway to wash up." she said, rubbing her eyes that were still a little puffy, a sore reminder of last night. Her hair was pulled up in a messy bum, with a few strands falling freely, framing her delicate face.

"You should have woken me up. Did you talk to the doctor?" he asked, his voice still low and a little raspy from sleep.

"Believe me I didn't wake up so long ago, maybe ten minutes before you." she said, her eyes settling on his "And I did talk to Dr Andrews, he said that the nurse took Victoria downstairs for an additional MRI, to check things because of her concussion but he said if nothing new comes up he could discharge her in a couple of days."

"That's great news." he said.

"Yeah it is." she said, in a deflated manner.

He almost reached out to hug her out of relief, but stopped at the last second, shifting uncomfortably.

"I should probably go and call Haley than. She was worried about you and of course your..."

"Oh my God, I totally forgot to call her and…"

"Don't worry about that, you had a lot on your mind yesterday."

"Yeah."

Luke took his phone from his jacket and was about to go and make that call but then he turned around just as Brooke sat back on the couch, facing her "Hey…um I saw this small café across the street from here so maybe we could go and grab some coffee while we wait for…"

She looked at him as if she didn't quite understand what he was saying, a little surprised at his suggestion.

"And maybe we could get some breakfast too if you want to." he added quickly.

"Sure, why not?" she said finally, remembering she hasn't eaten anything yesterday if you didn't count that coffee that Blake brought her from the vending machine. "Besides, I really need a little distraction, something to do other than sit here because I think I'll go crazy."

"I'll just go call Hales and then we can go."

"Sure."

"Great."

----BL----

She's told him this many times before, how she was strong and independent and how she didn't make excuses for who she was. And it was the truth, for the most part. But as much as she was strong she was also vulnerable, even though she tried so hard to hide that. It wasn't a welcome trait in her book, except in rare occurrences. But as much as she wanted to, sometimes she couldn't hide how much something was bothering her because as he was convinced time and time again, she wore her heart on her sleeve.

Now, as they walked down the street, side by side, she was doing just that, trying to convince him she was strong when she actually wasn't. Trying to convince him her mother's accident and last night's conversation she had with him didn't bother her when it did. Honestly, Victoria Davis wasn't the warmest person in the world and certainly not a candidate for the mother of the year, just the opposite in fact but all that couldn't erase the fact that she was Brooke's mother and that her actions and words could hurt her on a level that only family can.

Brooke was wearing black stilettos, skinny jeans and a gorgeous black top. Her hair was falling freely down her shoulders, complimented with big black sunglasses. She looked every bit like one of those Manhattan socialites.

It was her way of hiding, mastered to sheer perfection by years of practice even when he knew that deep down she was hurting.

Deep down he knew that in a way he was the only thing standing between her and another pack of Kleenex so he had to do something. Even if that something was a walk with her down the street to a certain coffee place.

"So did you talk to Hales?"

"No, she was out but I told Nathan to let her know that Victoria was gonna be alright. They were all really worried about you there, Nate said that if I didn't call when I did he's book a plane ticket and come here to see you. With Haley and Peyt and Jake and…the list goes on."

Brooke smiled "We're lucky we have such good friends huh?"

"I wouldn't trade them for anything." he admitted "Although I'm not so sure about Hales." he said jokingly.

"Oh, don't be like that, she means well even if she gets me in trouble most of the time."

"And me." he added "But really, she's great, the only person who put up with me all these years without complaining. Much."

"Oh you're not that bad." she said, hitting him playfully on the shoulder.

He looked at her, raising an eyebrow.

"But now that I think about it…you can be rather inpatient and you're definitely too neat for a guy who lives alone."

"Yes, and don't forget I spend way too much time reading books and then there's the whole basketball obsession."

"That's not a bad thing. I always found the whole reading thing kinda charming." she said.

"What?" he said, surprised by her comment.

"Well, not the actual reading, but like whenever we were in your room hanging out or studying for some test, you'd have some book stuck up your nose and I'd be trying to study but then you'd look up at me with the most captivating look on your face..." she said drifting off.

Luke watched her, taking in her every word, and was about to say something when they were interrupted.

"Lucas Eugene Scott is that really you?" someone said and Luke looked up from Brooke.

"Lindsay." he said with a sigh.

"For a moment there I thought I was seeing things. But guess I bought the right contacts after all." she said with a smile.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, surprised to see her.

"I was visiting a very rich client of ours here on Manhattan. What are you doing in New York?"

"Also visiting."

"Uhm, and you didn't call to tell me you'd be here?"

"I didn't have time to come by. Besides there's nothing new to report when it comes to the book so…"

"That is so not the point. And there are a few things I needed to discuss with you." she said, finally noticing he wasn't alone "And who is this…"

"This is… a friend I was visiting, Brooke Davis. Her mom is in the hospital and…"

"I'm so sorry, is she…"

"It's not that serious. She's gonna be alright." Brooke said quickly, hating the look of pity in blond girl's eyes.

"I'm glad. But really, I heard so much about you so it's nice to finally meet you. Lindsay Strauss." she said offering a hand.

"Nothing good, I presume?" Brooke said, shaking her hand before adding "It's nice to meet you too."

"At the contrary, Lucas spoke highly of you…" Lindsay said "…though not intentionally."

Brooke looked at her, confused. Lucas looked rather uneasy beside her.

"So we should probably go to that…" Luke tried, desperate to avoid this conversation.

"Yes, Luke and I were going to grab some coffee, you can come if you want to. You two could chat about that editing thing of yours." Brooke suggested.

"Sure, I'd love to."

----BL----

Ten minutes later Luke maneuvered her through the mess of suits, collage kids and people with weary looks on their faces (coming down for a coffee break after a night spent in a hospital no doubt), his hand holding hers lightly, fingers intervened (he doesn't seem to be aware of it, it's more of a habit than an intention she supposes but it doesn't stop her from relishing it) and she took a deep breath as they finally made it to the less crowded area, far away from the counter. Soon they were seated at the far back corner booth of Bakers café, waiting for their order to come.

"This place is nice." Lindsay commented, looking around.

"It's decent." Luke agreed.

"It has that small town café kind of vibe."

"Exactly." Brooke agreed.

"Almost like Karen's café, huh?" Luke said.

"Not by a long shot."

"Tree Hill hasn't been the same without it."

"I agree." Brooke said looking at Lucas.

Lindsay looked at the two, trying to think of who they remind her of with this joint look of understanding and matching smiles. And then it came to her. Of her and Ryan. When they first started to date Kelly always said how annoying they were with all that 'lovey dowey coupley looks' but she thought she was imagining it. Now she understood what she meant.

"I've heard a lot about it from Luke but I was never in Tree Hill…" Lindsay said and both Brooke and Luke turned to face her.

"Well it's a lot smaller than this one but it has that homey vibe, you know homemade brownies and coffee…" Brooke said.

"…with this amazing option of spiking it with rum or any other preferred alcohol beverage if you're having a bad day." Luke filled in with a smile.

"Wow, do people actually do that?"

"Oh, yeah. Believe me I've worked there." Brooke said before adding "It was quite entertaining."

Luke nodded in agreement and Lindsay laughed as their drinks finally arrived.

"But thankfully I've moved on from that. Now I…"

"Ah, yes Luke told me that you have your own clothing line, Clothes over bros." Lindsay said, interrupting her "I actually own a gorgeous black dress from your latest collection."

"Really? I hope you haven't paid too much for it."

"I have, but it was worth every cent. It's gorgeous."

"I see you two are perfectly fine without me, so if you two will excuse me I have to go to the bathroom." Luke apologized, standing up.

"Oh, were you feeling neglected?" Lindsay asked jokingly.

Luke rolled his eyes before turning and getting lost in the crowd.

Brooke watched him go before turning back to the table. She stirred her coffee a couple of times with a plastic spoon before speaking up.

"He's been really great, coming here after Vic…" she stopped herself "After my mother got into this car accident. He stayed all night even though I told him he didn't have too."

"Yeah well that's Luke for you."

"I guess." she agreed "He's such a supportive friend. I'm sure he'd do this for everyone." Brooke said.

Lindsay shook her head "I don't think s…"

"So, as much as I gathered, you two used to date?" Brooke interrupted her.

"Yeah."

"What happened…if you don't mind me asking?"

"No, no…I don't. Actually I think you should know."

Brooke looked at her strangely, putting her coffee down as Lindsay started to tell her the story…

It was one of those cold, gloomy nights when the sky outside was so dark and the clouds so low it seemed they would swallow the whole city. A perfect time for a night in with Chinese and a night in, they both agreed.

The half empty boxes of food were scattered around the table, chopsticks lying on the wooden surface leaving sushi stains all over it but it didn't bother her at all, they'd clean it up later. Her feet were sprawled on the said table as she sat on the couch, with her reading glasses and a pen in hand.

He was sitting on the floor, feet crossed, eating something from the small white box and watching her chew that pencil nervously, trying not to laugh. If you ignored the whole reason why she was doing it, it was kinda cute.

She could feel his eyes on her and on any other day she would let it slide, but that night she was a nervous wreck and his relaxed, smiling face didn't help one bit. So she had no choice but to look up "Stop doing that."

"I'm not doing anything."

"You're staring at me." she said, looking at him from behind her glasses.

"It's not my fault you look so adorable when you're on the edge of a nervous breakdown." he said.

"You're not helping." she said, turning back to the paper lying in her lap.

"Want an egg roll?" he offered.

She looked at him, taking of her glasses "Luke…"

"C'mon, take a break. There's plenty of time to finish that speech."

"No there isn't. It has to be done by tomorrow." she said, emphasizing the last word and then sighed "God, why couldn't they pick someone else for this?"

"Because you're an amazing editor and you deserve to speak at the …"

"I'm not that good." she cut in.

"Yeah, you are." he assured her and then "If you want to I can help you out with it."

"Luke, you can't …"

"No, really, it'll be fun. Remember when I helped you out with that speech for your pres…" the words were out of his mouth before he realized it. He stopped, suddenly too quiet but knew the damage is already done.

"You never helped me out with any speech before." Lindsay said looking at him, at his suddenly serious face with confusion in her eyes before she said "Oh." and he knew she had it all figured out.

"Lindsay…" he started.

"Yeah, this is about Brooke, isn't it?"

"No, I… It was an honest mistake. Let's just move on."

"Yeah like you moved on last week when I asked you to edit that chapter of your book. You know the one about some redheaded girl." she said raising her voice.

"You wanted me to delete an entire passage of the text!" he almost yelled.

"It wasn't an entire passage…" she corrected him "It was like five sentences that were completely unnecessary."

"I didn't think they were unnecessary and besides that had nothing to do with Brooke but with my book."

"And it was just a what, unfortunate coincidence that the chapter about her was the only one you didn't want to shorten or alter at all?"

"Because I found the part you wanted to delete relevant for the story."

"But you had no problem with shortening chapter six by an entire page."

"It wasn't important."

"Right. Whatever you say. I'm just so sick of all our fights always revolving around that girl!"

"We aren't fighting." he said louder than he intended.

Lindsay gave him the look.

"Well, you started it." he said childishly "And Brooke is a person I happen to have a past with, nothing else. She's at the other end of the country for God's sake!" he exclaimed.

"Yes she is. And doesn't that bother you just a little?" she asked, her voice sounding a lot like defeat.

He looked at her silently, and then she turned around dropping her papers on the couch and said "I'm going to stay at Kate's for the night."

He was left standing alone in the middle of their living room as she slammed the door of the bedroom just a little too hard.

"And that's where our story ended I guess." Lindsay finished, taking a breath.

And where ours began, Brooke thought to herself but didn't say out loud.

Brooke remained seated in her chair, watching her opponent (until five minutes ago) carefully, wanting to laugh at how stupid she's been, how blind. She allowed herself to think about her mother and about one valuable lesson she's taught her – life was short, it can change so fast, taking the ground bellow your feet away. And even now she was wasting it on petty fights, jealousy and worrying about what other people would say.

Lindsay spotted Lucas coming back to their table "As I was trying to say, he wouldn't do that for everyone."

Luke smiled at Brooke before sitting down to join them "I guess you're right." Brooke agreed.

"What are you two talking about?" he asked.

"You." Lindsay retorted with a smile.

Lucas looked at both girls, raising an eyebrow questioningly "What about me?"

"Oh, nothing important." Lindsay said nonchalantly.

"Right." he said slowly, not believing them at all.

"Drink your coffee." Brooke said, looking away, his intense gaze making her nervous. Lindsay smiled.

Yep, definitely just like Ryan and her.

----BL----