Tegan hasn't seen or spoken to Sara since Sara asked her to leave and told her she'd call her in a few days. She never called, and it was driving Tegan insane. She doesn't know if they are in a relationship or not, or if they'll ever see each other again. After a week had gone by with no contact from Sara, Tegan called Jessie to see if she knew anything or knew where Sara was. Jessie wasn't much help, only telling Tegan that Sara gave her instructions to not tell her where she was. Tegan already knew Sara wasn't at her apartment and figured the only other place she would be was at her parent's house. The problem was that she had no clue where that was and knew the only way she would find out was to go through Sara's stuff at her apartment until she found it. Of course she felt guilty, but she found it easy to push it to the back of her mind.

Now Tegan finds herself outside Sara's parents home, confident that this is where she is.

She's amazed by the huge house in front of her. There's a spacious yard, multiple garages, and is three stories tall. She regrets never allowing Sara to talk about her own home life, this was too much of a shock as she gawked over the house even though Sara had nothing to do with it. Tegan now thought it was silly she was so against hearing about it, neither chose the environments they were raised in, if Sara had a happy childhood then she was glad for that. But part of Tegan still can't help but to resent the world and maybe even Sara, though it was completely irrational. Did Sara's parents know she had a twin? Did they lay them side by side and choose Sara over her? Why was she not good enough? It wasn't fair.

She presses the doorbell, hearing it faintly ring throughout the house. Wiping her sweaty palms on her jeans, she bounces from foot to foot, waiting impatiently.

Having never met Sara's parents and not knowing if Sara even told them about her, she's not sure how to act when the door finally opens. Before her stands a handsome, tall older man. He looks down at her small frame and smiles warmly.

"Can I help you?" He asks.

"Uhm.. Yes, I was wondering if Sara was here? Sara Bell?" Tegan tries to mimic his kindness. She watches for any hint of recognition, but finds none.

"She sure is," he holds the door open to allow Tegan to enter. "May I ask who you are?"

She quietly steps into the entryway. Or the foyer? She thinks that's the fancy name for it. She takes in her surroundings, noticing the spiral staircase leading upstairs and a grand chandelier hanging above her head.

"I'm Tegan." She says, still hoping she finds any remembrance in his eyes.

"Ah, Sara's mentioned you. Girlfriend, right?" He leads them up the stairs and stops in front of a door.

"I'm not sure, sir." She answers honestly. It's the first time she's vocalized about the fragile state and uncertainty of their relationship, and it hits her like a ton of bricks.

"Well you're not a boy so I can't threaten you with my rifle," he jokes, "but take care of her, girlfriend or not. Okay, Tegan?"

She nods and he makes his way back down the stairs. Her stomach is in knots and she knocks lightly on the door, ear pressed against it to listen for any movement. Since Sara doesn't know she's here, Tegan hopes she'll open the door, but she has no idea the condition Sara is in and if she'd open it all, for anyone.

She waits and waits. She puts her hand on the door knob to see if it's locked and finds that it isn't. She pushes the door open a crack and calls Sara's name. No response. She pushes further until there's enough room for her to squeeze through.

She steps in and looks around. The lights are off but she can easily tell Sara is not in here. However, there is a door on the right side of the room with light leaking in through he space between the bottom of the door and floor. She silently walks over and again leans her ear against the wood. It's barely audible but she can make out a faint rustling. She knocks but is still met with no response.

Opening the door slightly she sees that it's a bathroom. There's a large marble counter and a sink with a huge mirror. On the counter she notices a razor and clumps of hair scattered everywhere. Her stomach drops and she stands on tippy toes to see if she can see Sara or anything in the reflection of the mirror. She can see a hunched topless figure with short brown hair. It doesn't look like her but Tegan knows it is Sara.

"Sara?" She asks quietly.

Sara doesn't respond but Tegan sees her back muscles tighten for a second and the rustling stops.

Tegan takes a step forward to peer over Sara's shoulder but not close enough to be in touching distance. In front of Sara sits a glass of water and five neat little rows of various pills. Sara looks as if she's contemplating which will cause the most harm, and that she's chosen the winner, sitting in a pile on her open palm.

Tegan stretches her arm out to knock the pills away from Sara. "Sara! What are you-"

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" Sara roars and whips around, pushing Tegan to the floor.

Sara looms over her, her chest heaving, eyes black, hollow pits. Her only clothing, a pair of white cotton undies, hang loosely off her hips. She's lost an unhealthy amount of weight in such little time. The bags under her eyes make it obvious she's been suffering from insomnia. Tegan's terrified, she's never seen Sara like this, and it gives her little hope for the future.

"Can't we just talk, Sara?"

"Talk? What do you want to talk about, Tegan? How you lied to me about this for weeks? How I didn't know I was adopted? That you kept fucking me after knowing I was your sister? That you're so in love with me and still want to be together? That I love you just as much? I can't do this, Tegan. I can't be with you but I can't be without you either."

"So you're just going to kill yourself? That's real nice, Sar."

Sara crumbles at Tegan bringing to light the gravity of her actions. She collapses onto the floor next to Tegan and hysterical sobs rack through her whole body. Regretting her comment, Tegan's unsure of what to do, she wants to comfort her but that just might make it worse.

"Sara, hey. Let's get you into your bed, you'll feel better."

"Nothing will make me feel better." She protests, but doesn't object when Tegan scoops her up in her arms and carries her to her bed. She sets her softly down on the sheets and carefully tucks her in, sitting down next to her.

"Why did you do this?" Tegan runs her hand through the soft, half inch long hair on Sara's head.

"I don't know.. I got scared, and I thought it would make me stop seeing your reflection in the mirror." Sara rolls over to face away from Tegan, the moment too intimate for her.

"Did it work?" Tegan asks, knowing all too well why Sara did what she did.

"No."

Tegan sits fidgeting with her hands as silence fills the room. She thinks Sara's fallen asleep and doesn't know if she's allowed to stay, or if it's even a good idea. She's starting to stand when Sara pipes up.

"Does it look bad?" She quietly asks.

"No." Tegan answers, sitting back down.

"Don't lie."

"You could never be anything but beautiful, Sara." Tegan's not sure if that's an appropriate thing to say right now, but she's just being truthful. When Sara doesn't reply, Tegan takes it as her queue that she said the wrong thing and it's time for her to leave. She again stands and begins to walk towards the door.

"Are you leaving?"

"Do you want me to?"

"I don't know."

"I'll stay." Tegan says after mulling the options and consequences of each. She grabs a blanket off the edge of Sara's bed and sits down in the reading chair in the corner. She tries to make herself comfortable but it's impossible, though she knows this is much better than having to leave and go sleep in her own lonely apartment.

"Tegan?" Sara calls to the darkness minutes later, not sure if Tegan's still awake or not.

"Yes, Sara?" Tegan responds a moment later.

"Can you come here?" She questions. Tegan complies, walking to the side of the bed and hovering uncomfortably over Sara. "This doesn't mean anything's fixed or okay, but will you hold me?"

"Sara.. I don't know... "

"Please, Tegan. I just need... Need.." Sara trails off, not wanting to finish her sentence. Not wanting to say that she needs Tegan.

Tegan can't deny her when she sounds so sad and needy. She worms her way under the covers and presses her front flush against Sara's back, slinging her arm around her waist, searching for Sara's hand and knotting their fingers together when she finds it.

Tegan waits for an answer, but it doesn't come.

"Need what?" She presses, but is only answered with light snores, as Sara has fallen asleep.

Sara sits on her bed, watching Tegan sleep peacefully. She can't remember when she woke up but it's still in the early morning. She slept more than she has in the past week, though still not much, and she knows it's only because Tegan is here.

Sara lifts her hand and points one finger out, barely trailing it up and down Tegan's square jawline. It's the one feature Sara has found that completely sets them apart in looks. It was and still is her favorite physical part of Tegan. It's a bit masculine but she makes it look sexy.

Tegan twitches at the feeling of something on her face and she slowly opens her eyes, squinting at the bright sun. Sara draws her hand back and hugs her knees, she forgot to prepare herself for when Tegan woke up and they would have to talk.

"Oh, uhm, hi." Tegan sits up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes, and remembering the event of yesterday. She swings a leg over the side of the bed, preparing to leave, "I should probably-"

"Do you want breakfast?" Sara blurts out.

"Really?" Tegan asks, surprised. She figured Sara would have told her to leave as soon as she had a chance. "Yeah, breakfast sounds good. Thanks."

Tegan lets Sara lead the way down the stairs and through the fancy house into a huge kitchen. Sara pulls out two bowls from a cupboard and fills them with cereal while Tegan waits on a stool at the island counter. She tries to come up with something to say but doesn't know what.

"You never told me you were so rich." She settles on lamely.

"Because i'm not. My parents are." Sara shoves a spoonful of cereal into her mouth after she slides Tegan's bowl across the counter to her. "There were a lot of things I didn't get to tell you."

"Sorry." Tegan says guiltily.

The two continue on eating in silence.

"How did we not see it?" Sara asks when she's finished, rinsing her bowl out in the sink.

"I don't know Sara, but we've got to do something."

"What do you want to do?" Sara regrets her question the moment it's passed her lips. She already knows the answer and doesn't need to hear it vocalized.

"I wanna be with you."

"Tegan.. we can't.. we're si- "

"I know, but no one else knows. The only ones that are going to stop us from being together is us, and I won't be that foolish. If I love you, I love you, I can't help that and neither can you. I don't know you as my sister and you don't feel like my sister, you feel like my best friend and the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with."

"Don't say that, Tegan."

"I'm serious, Sara."

"I know, and that's what worries me. I don't think it can be that easy for me."

"But you love me, don't you?"

"Of course I fucking love you. That's the problem!"

"Well i'm just one big fucking problem for you, aren't I?"

"That's not what i'm saying! Just be quiet and let me think for a minute!" Sara turns her body away from Tegan, elbows resting against her chest and hands covering her face, letting her thoughts sort themselves. "Okay, i'm not saying we're over, I don't want us to be over, but I just need some time to wrap my head around this. I can't justify it to myself as easily as you can."

"Isn't that what this past week was? Just face it Sara, we need each other, and we love each other." Tegan pushes. She doesn't want to spend any more time without Sara.

"Pushing me like that isn't going to help any. I promise i'll call this time, okay?"

"Can I at least have a hug?" Tegan sighs, letting it go. She knows Sara won't break her promise.

Sara presses her lips into a tight line, thinking it over. She should say no, and almost does, but even she doesn't want to decline the one last bit of comfort she'll get in who knows how long. She settles on an answer and nods slightly, holding her arms open for Tegan. Tegan smiles and hops off her stool, making her way around the counter and into Sara's waiting arms. Tegan wraps her arms around Sara's waist, pulling her in tight and Sara's arms hang loosely off Tegan's shoulders. Their foreheads rest against each other's and they stare deeply into the other's eyes, looking for any solution to their problem.

Tegan makes a bold move and presses her lips to Sara's. She revels in the familiar, comforting feeling for a few seconds before starting to pull away, not wanting to overstep the boundaries even more than she probably already has.

Sara lost all sense of boundaries when her lips connected to Tegan's. She can feel Tegan pulling away, but she doesn't want this to end. Sara loves the butterflies that fill her stomach every time her and Tegan touch, even though she knows she shouldn't anymore. Sara moves her hands up to cup Tegan's face, pressing their lips together harder and forcefully shoving her tongue into Tegan's mouth. The moan that escapes Tegan shocks Sara back into reality and she reels back, hitting the counter behind her, breathing heavily. Immediately she knows that shouldn't have happened, but she can't blame Tegan, she wasn't the one that took it further. She can't look up, she can't face what her actions meant and the inevitable outcome; that she's in love with her sister and the feeling's not going to go away.

Tegan feels the same guilt. She shouldn't have kissed Sara in the first place, but it's a good sign that what happened, happened. She gives one last kiss to the top of Sara's bowed head, her short hair tickling Tegan's lips.

"Don't forget what that feels like. I'll be waiting for you."