Time passed quickly for Maura. As her relationship with Jane grew and became more solid, more complex, she found it difficult to be away from her dark haired detective for long periods of time. When cases came up that took up all of their time, she found that her free moments were spent thinking about Jane… Jane's touch, Jane's voice, Jane's scent, Jane's presence…
It was a strange sensation, the need to be in proximity and, preferably, constant contact with the brunette. Jane consumed her thoughts at night when they didn't share a bed, and, when they were together during the day, Maura found that she had developed the habit of touching Jane. It was nothing questionable… a brush of a shoulder when passing, a hand on an arm for support…
She was delighted that Jane seemed to have developed the same habits, and she was thankful that everyone in their lives had adjusted so quickly to the idea of the two women being more than just friends. In fact, there seemed to be almost universal support for their relationship.
When Maura's fears and worries about her inexperience or quirkiness began to consume her, all it took was a kiss or a soothing word from Jane, and everything was made better. Jane made her better, and she couldn't help but notice that Jane tried to be better. She stopped drinking so much, had taken up yoga, and didn't yell as much as she once did.
Things seemed to be going well until Maura's biological father came into the picture. His abduction of Maura triggered something in both women.
"Whatever you want, I can get it."
Two days after Jane had said it and the man threatening Maura's life was dead, that one sentence still ran through her head. It was what she was thinking about as Jane slipped into bed with her that evening.
"I know you love Bass, but I'm not sure I can handle tripping over him again." The brunette pulled the doctor to her, kissing her neck as they settled. "I don't know how I keep managing to trip over something that hardly moves. I swear, it's almost like he's trying to get me to hurt myself." At the lack of response from Maura, Jane's demeanor changed, switching from light-hearted to concerned and caring. "Hey, what's wrong?"
"Wrong? I… nothing. I was just thinking about some things." Maura kept her eyes closed hoping Jane wouldn't pursue the topic.
"You're not thinking about your sperm donor again, are you?" The protectiveness in the detective's voice made Maura smile.
"No. I was actually thinking about something you said during that time period." She rolled over so they were facing each other. "When I called to tell you I was okay, you said, 'Whatever you want, I can get it.'" She tilted her head to the side, considering. "I can't explain it, but the fact that you said it, and how you said it, makes me feel… I don't know." She scrunched her features up, trying to the find the words. She frowned. Finding words was normally not an issue for Maura Isles. "I have this sensation in my chest, and I become… weak? I just can't," she shook her head, frowning harder. "The sensation, it makes me feel safe but frightened at the same time. The emotional paradox confuses me."
Jane gave Maura a warm, soft smile as she leaned forward to kiss the blonde's forehead. In a gentle whisper, she asked, "You don't know what that feeling is?" The doctor gave a contented sigh as Jane ran her hand through the blonde's hair.
"No," her voiced sounded far away to her as Maura spoke. She shifted so that she could snuggle into the front of Jane, to be closer to her. "I've never felt this string of emotions in this manner nor this sensation before." They lay quit for a moment as Maura processed and Jane continued to pet the lovely blonde locks before her. "Jane," the doctor pulled back to look the brunette in the eyes, "do you know what this feeling is that I'm experiencing?"
"Maybe," Jane smiled. "I know I have similar feelings… sensations, but I can't tell you what you're feeling, Maur. You're the only one that knows what's going on in that big brain of yours; you know that." She wrapped her arms around the smaller woman.
"Emotions and logic don't always go together in ways that make sense to me, but I understand what you're saying. I suppose asking you what you think you're emotions mean is futile. You're not going to tell me, are you?" Maura breathed in Jane's unique scent, feeling her muscles relax as she did so.
"Nope, not this time. I think you need to figure this one out on your own, Maur." Jane ran a hand lightly down the doctor's back eliciting a small shiver from the woman. "But, promise me you'll tell me as soon as you've got it figured out."
"I must admit I'm frustrated that you won't give me your opinion on this, but I promise you'll be the first to know after I know." She kissed the exposed skin above Jane's shirt.
"Good. G'night my ME." Jane snorted, kissing the crown of Maura's head.
With a frustrated sigh but a smile on her lips, Maura cuddled in closer. "You're never going to let me forget that, are you?"
"Nope."