So we got Roanoke over here, being an absolute rebel, tellin' peeps bout the whole prank war thang. After he runs away from NC and ND, he realized that he probably hadn't made the best choice in life to tell 50 very aggressive people that basically a civil war was going down. (ITS GOING DOWN I'M YELLING TIMBER YOU BETTER MOVE YOU BETTER DANCE and that's all I know from the one time I heard it and from Tumblr) So Roanoke, who is possibly the cutest thing in the world, trekked his little butt to a closet. A closet that is the habitanceof another, more successful, colony.
Ok so after like a month or whatever, I'm really back. AND I SWEAR I WILL FINISH THIS BECAUSE I TOTALLY SHOULD
After yet another week, I return. AND THIS TIME IM SICK AND IVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO SO YEAH LETS DO THIS
"Jamestown?" Roanoke said, knocking on the door, because Roanoke is a little gentleman, and knows his manners. One of the hardest things about adjusting to modern life for him has been the rudeness of everyone.
"I told you to call me Jamie!" Jamestown said.
"You don't make any sense!" Roanoke said. "Anyways, we gotta do something."
IM BACK AFTER A TRIP TO CHARLESTON AND I GOT SOME SPICES AND ALMOST GOT A KITTEN FROM MY CAT LADY AUNT WITH LIKE 30 CATS SO YEAH I SHOULD FINISH THIS ALSO I CUT MY FINGER SO YEAH ITS GONNA TAKE A BIT TO TYPE THIS
"What? Why?" Jamestown asked.
"We gotta do the pranks on people."
"What's a plank?"
"No, a prank. It's like... a joke, but not with words."
"That doesn't really make sense, but why do we have to?"
"Well... I may have started a war of sorts with these pranks."
"You WHAT?" "And it may have not been my best idea to date."
"A WAR? I'VE NEVER BEEN IN A WAR BEFORE! I'M SCARED!" And Jamestown started hyperventilating a bit.
"Calm down!" Roanoke said, shaking Jamestown's shoulders. "We just gotta do a prank and maybe we'll win. I think."
"WHAT DO WE DO?"
"I have a plan. Are you ready?"
"NO!"
"Great!" And with that, Roanoke dragged Jamestown away.
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Jamestown said, hiding behind Roanoke.
"Yeah, she's got so much, she'll never know we were here," Roanoke responded, looking at the barrels upon barrels of tar belonging to none other than North Carolina.
"But Virginia said that she has the most military out of any state and not to mess with her because she might take my arm or worse!"
"Yeah, but she's a pushover. You just have to look at her all sad and maybe cry a bit and then you get whatever you want, so we'll be fine. I promise," And Roanoke began collecting tar in a bucket. "You get some too, we have to put this all over."
With 20 buckets filled with sticky, black tar, Roanoke decided to move on to stage 2 of his master plan to win the prank war. "Now take all of these you can carry, and start putting them on top of doors," Roanoke directed.
"But won't that fall on people when the door is opened?"
"That's the point! I saw this on a nellalesion show, and I think it'll work well." So they each carried four buckets and started searching for suitable doors to rig.
"Back up!" Roanoke whispered.
Jamestown backed up, but not without curiosity over what had happened. "What is it?" He whispered back.
"Louisiana just left her room. It's go time!" And after waiting a second or three, Roanoke motioned Jamestown to follow him, and ran out to the door, leaving all but one bucket behind. "Lift me up," he said when he got to the door. Jamestown discovered that Roanoke is not as heavy as he looks as Roanoke climbed onto his shoulders. Even with a bucket, he weighed less than 30 lbs.
"You're so light!" Jamestown said in amazement as Roanoke positioned the bucket on the door.
"Yeah, well, I went without eating for 400 years, except for the occasional bird or lizard or bug, and I starved to death multiple times. It was horrible," Roanoke finished placing the bucket, and looked around quickly.
"I think she's coming!" The two scrambled back to their hiding spot, and hoped for Louisiana to go into her room. Luckily for them, she did. The tar splattered all over her, and she was standing there wiping it off of her face, which had an expression on it combining fury with surprise. In silence, she turned and walked very ungracefully to the bathroom to clean herself up. The two colonies looked at each other, barely suppressing their laughter. As soon as Louisiana was out of sight, Roanoke turned to Jamestown. "Let's put a bucket on her door again."
"Agreed." And so Roanoke climbed on top of Jamestown again.
"RUN, DUDE!" A voice was heard yelling.
"I AM, IDIOT! YOU JUST HAD TO THROW POTATOES, DIDN'T YOU?"
It was at this point that Idaho and Montana ran past. "We should probably do this quickly," Jamestown commented.
"I WILL ASSAULT YOUR FACE!"
"YOU CAN'T RUN FOREVER, ASSHATS!"
It would appear that Idaho and Montana were being chased by Washington and Oregon. "We should," Roanoke said.
The bucket was positioned, and the two scrambled to find a better hiding spot than around a corner. They decided on the nearby room of Mississippi, and cracked the door just enough to see out of. Approximately 20 minutes later, they heard someone mumbling curses under their breath, and with being unable to see in that direction and all, assumed it was Louisiana. Once she came into view, they realized that they may have messed up. Severely. She was dripping wet, and had a look on her face that screamed murder.
She opened the door, and the bucket fell on her once more. For a split second, nothing happened, and the two colonies thought that they were safe. Then Louisiana's aura exploded in the aforementioned black and crimson swirling rage. Oh yeah, and she began floating. Jamestown and Roanoke got hit in the face by some of the tar that flew off when her aura became visible, and the pair had the absolute best faces of terror ever. They then heard someone running, and joined hands and prayed for that person's life.
The two dared to open the door slightly more to get a better look down the hall and try to warn whoever was running towards Louisiana, when they saw Maryland being slammed into a wall. It wouldn't have been an unusual occurrence in the Jones Household, but Louisiana was holding him there with magic, and dear Louisiana was still levitating.
"WHY?" Louisiana said. Jamestown and Roanoke became even more terrified when they heard the multiple voices coming out of her mouth.
"Hey Louisiana," Maryland responded, and even Roanoke could tell that he was one word away from getting his head ripped off. "You're looking really sharp today! Loving the magical aura surrounding your body, it's looking really fierce! And why what?"
"THE EGG, THE TAR, THE KOOL-AID?" If the pair hadn't been so scared, they would have breathed a sigh of relief that it wasn't just them that Louisiana was mad at.
"Oh, I guess you didn't know about the prank war. And about the tar, I'd say you'd want to get North Carolina for that." Jamestown shot a glance towards Roanoke, who was looking a bit more horrified at the thought of someone else being blamed for his wrongdoings. There was a loud thud as Maryland was hurled to the ground, and Louisiana floated off, with her aura glowing a bit brighter around her, most likely to go kill a certain state.
As soon as she was out of sight, Jamestown and Roanoke snapped out of their terror to go help Maryland, who hadn't moved a bit since he was slammed on the ground. "You idiot!" Roanoke whispered, just incase Louisiana had super hearing. "She's gonna go kill North! She didn't do that! And even if she did, why would you tell that to a devil-worshiper?"
"I had to save my own skin!" Maryland said, clutching his side. "I saw you over there, I know you did it. By presenting her with a logical situation, in this case, NC put her tar over the door, it removes the blame from you. You wouldn't survive a confrontation with her in that state, idiot! I barely did!"
"But North won't survive either!" Roanoke said, with tears of guilt falling down his face.
"Yeah, but she'll heal. You won't. Louisiana will rip anything she thinks had any part in this to shreds. I've seen it happen. You're just a tiny colony. You don't have the healing power to survive it."
"But we have to help her!" Jamestown said. "We can't just let her die, we have to warn her!"
"Pfft, you won't even be able to find her. I've barely seen anyone, and I've been running around this whole time! Now let me heal. Go do something not stupid," And Maryland cracked his ribs into place.
"We have to warn her," Roanoke said. Jamestown nodded, and the two started running.
SO NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE THE TIMELINE AND YEAH. I LIKE THIS CHAPTER A LOT :)