Hopeless Chapter 11:Part 2 Our story, a naruto fanfic

When you are young, it's normal that at first, you won't have any friend, or you have a bad relationship with your sister, brother or even with your parents. And sometimes, you don't even have sisters, brothers or parents.

What I know for sure is that I have always complained within myself, I have always thought the same-old question: 'What if…?'

I have always blamed the missing people from my life. 'What if my mother was here?'; 'What if my father would've been different?' and 'What if I actually had friends?' Of course these will always remain questions with no answer.

I have even blamed the way I am, the relatives whom I don't have and friends might be missing because of who I am; personality, looks or both.

I have always thought that I have all the wrong people in my life, and that one special and perfect person that might be able to change everything, it's missing.

Strangers are a gift from God. Because no matter what the circumstances are when you met a new person, you might always feel the same.

The stranger doesn't knows what you have done in the past, doesn't know what you're afraid of or what your gestures really mean, if you are really a shy person or not, he makes the first impression you give him to become your personality, even if it's the complete opposite of who you really are or who you have been until that very moment.

Strangers are the start of a new path, a bright light at the end of the tunnel and a totally brand new chance that the stranger might be that certain special person which you have wanted for your entire life.

When you met it, you have nothing to lose, the things he doesn't know make you feel confident in yourself, and sometimes the totally opposite of who you are or were.

In the eyes of a stranger, you can be anybody you chose to be in that second, because maybe you'll never see the stranger again, or you will, but he will know just the small piece of what you've showed him.

The truth is that I never have actually believed in fate, destiny and not even in coincidences either, but what I believed in without even wanting to believe, is that a new person in your life, can change the past, the present, and the future.

And also, I strongly believe that the person you make yourself to be in front to a stranger is sometimes more real than the one you make yourself to be in front of people you know you'll be meeting every day from then. Because you know it has no consequence after, so you'll show the stranger, the real you.

The stranger can make everything brighter or darker, it's also his choice. Don't you think?
Chapter 11: Our story

I wanted to cry but just when the memory stopped playing in my mind, I heard him talking once again:

"I'll kill the guy! So tell me who he is!" He said, with a demanding voice.

My eyes were staring wide opened at him with confusion, and shock.

I continued to stare at him and he continued to stare at me, right into my eyes, exploring.

And even if it hurt, I smiled.

"Why the fuck are you smiling? Are you a sadist or what?" He said and I continued to smile, I almost started to laugh, he also smiled back and just then, after so many years, I smiled for real and laughed for real.

It didn't hurt.

He continued to ask me questions like: 'Why are you laughing?', and the questions were always followed by 'stupid' or other colorful swears, but it only made me laugh harder.

The expression of his face was nothing close to angry, but smiling, and swearing in the same time, asking me the same question but with different words, repeatedly.

The noise I hear echoing in the small white room, it's my laughter. Strange at first, really unfamiliar, but after laughing more than I could estimate, I realized. It is mine, with my voice, and with my joy within it.

This scene continued until I was exhausted. I stay on my butt on the bed; trying hard to catch my breath, to calm down. And with an unknown power, I brought my fingers to my eyes.

'Tears of joy?'

Shocked, or terrified? I couldn't tell. As I stared at my hands, with my head close to them, like this is the first time I really see my hands, like I have been blind my entire life until now. A little wet, with tears, my eyes, and also a bit, my hands, with a few tears on them.

I stood like that, leaned, or more like waiting for my tears to fall on my hands. Like the earth, prepared, for the rain to fall on it.

But no. Not even one single tiny tear. It was like they refused to fall...

"Why are you crying?" He asked me with a completely different voice than before, worried, sincere and more than anything, a voice so clear...

And my tears have begun to fall, like they were waiting for his words.

But despite what I thought, my tears were tears of joy, at a certain moment, but they actually have turned into tears of pain as the image of my father has appeared into my mind, and along with my entire past.

But I made no sound, I just watched with wide eyes, as the tears fell from my eyes, in the palms of my hands.

'Dirty way of crying.' I thought but I said nothing, I didn't move but something moved me.

"Stop..." He whispered, as he embraced me from my side, a voice so warm and also, a body so warm.

Tears fell a little longer, and as I stood like that, with him embracing me and caressing my red hair, surrendering to his warmth and with my head on his chest, his steady and calm heart beat has played the sweetest lullaby to me.

I fell asleep like that.

I woke up to the same room but with the light turned off, and for some seconds, I asked myself why I woke up in the first place. My mind has automatically responded to my question.

'I had a nightmare...No...It wasn't a nightmare.'

In fact, I had a calm and beautiful dream; that is what scared me. It was so calm and so beautiful that I woke myself up, afraid that it will turn into a terrible nightmare.

The comforting darkness with the rays of the moon as the only existing light, and they're barely gently entering from the window with its pulled curtains, the silence, and the warmth...

I opened my eyes just once, to look at the windows, and then I closed my eyes again, even if I woke up, I guess it became a habit after refusing to do so for more than I can estimate, to just ignore everything and close my eyes.

Even so, in the dense silence, there was one sound, so very close to me.

'Someone ...breathing...' this thought made me realize that just the blanket alone wouldn't be able to provide me such warmth, and comfort.

I opened my eyes, to realize that he's in bed with me. I am embraced by him, this time, totally.

His embrace is warm, and it's like he's protecting me. Just then I realized when and how I fell asleep.

"Stop..." He whispered, as he embraced me from my side, a voice so warm, a body so warm.

I fell asleep like that.

And despite what one would think, I would normally have had jumped and freaked out by now, this has never happened to me. Not even once in my entire life.

'But this person...' I thought and I entered further into his embrace.

'If it's him, I don't mind.' I thought, and I closed my eyes.

Once again, I fell asleep.

Days have passed since then, but I still remember that moment, and I still linger for his warmth.

Even if I'll never admit it, not to mention to say it to him, out loud. He'd probably just laugh anyway.

However, right now, he's still with me in the hospital, even if we're still strangers to each other.

All that I found out about him is that his name is 'Cloud'. But he never said his family name; he didn't even mention his family, not even once.

I just don't dare to ask the questions that have bothered me for quite some time now: 'From where are you?' or 'How did you get here?' and many other countless questions.

But every time I pick my words carefully in my mind, and every time I feel even just a little bit ready to ask him, I just say his name and he looks at me, with his big brown eyes, like caramel, and he looks into mine, already knowing what I want, and with his eyes, he asks me not to fulfill my wish.

As if saying: 'Not yet.'

And every time it ends the same:

He says "What?" with a voice so sincere, but never looking away from my eyes. He's always stopping me with that certain glance.

And I swallow my question, and I respond with a simple: "Nothing."

I completely gave up on asking him something that he doesn't wants to tell me.

So I decided to wait for whatever might come.

And now, he's on his bed, and I'm sitting on mine.

Before me, a doctor and behind the doctor, a nurse and everything, the walls, their clothes are all white.

"You're doing very well; you can go home when you want." He said smiling to me and I just got more confused than I was before, if that was even possible.

The doctor and the nurse made signs that they wanted to leave, when the doctor reached the door, I begun to speak to him, stopping him in his tracks.

"What do you mean, when I want?" I asked and for the first time, the doctor has stared at Cloud.

Since I woke up, nobody checked up Cloud, nobody even looked at him twice. It's like he existed just for me. He was a bit cold to everybody, but me, or mostly, he's cold with everybody else but me, but I'm still clueless about everything.

A question which should have appeared into my mind from the first time when I woke up, weeks ago, or a month ago, just now, it finally made its appearance:

"Who brought me here?"

I asked nobody but me, and still, I asked the question out loud, and the doctor completely turned, and continued to stare intensely at Cloud, which looked away from his persistent gaze.

Usually, Cloud would already yell something like 'What are you looking at?', but none of them says a word, none of them seem like they're planning to respond to any of my questions.

Just then, I got the idea that Cloud knows something that I don't. And without restraining myself further, I stopped staring at the doctor, and instead, I stared at Cloud, who looks out the window, at the trees.

When I looked back at the doctor, he already made two steps toward the door, and I just opened my mouth to say something, but then, I closed it back. I looked at the nurse.

And, the nurse it's staring at the floor, and she won't look up, as if she's embarrassed about something, as if she has ...orders.

'Even the nurse...'

I heard the door closing, but I wasn't looking in that direction anymore, instead, directly at the opposite direction.

Soon enough, when I didn't get any reaction, not even a glance, I almost tripped while I was running to his bed. I put myself on it, right in front of Cloud, certainly in front of his body, but not of his eyes, because in front of his eyes it exits a wall and a window.

"Cloud, tell me..." I said with a calm voice, but with a heavy tone. From my every word, you could hear the importance and the seriousness of the subject.

But Cloud refused to look at me. So, I put my arms on his shoulders, then I said his name, and then, I begun to shake him, but he seemed immune to all that was around him, including me.

"Cloud please, tell me what you know, I don't even want to go home so it'll be okay, no matter what it is. Cloud?" I said, begging him, and just then, he looked at me, even if it's as though he doesn't sees me.

'Why are you looking like you're in pain?' I wanted to ask, I thought, but I kept quiet.

He just stared at me, took my hands from his shoulders, and kept my hands in his hands.

'My hands are so cold and yours...so warm...'

I thought but again, I waited, waited for him to speak; he opened his mouth, but with no sound.

We stood like this for several minutes, I almost lost my calm, and when I was about to shout, he brought my hands to his lips, and he kissed them.

I felt my cheeks burning a little. Refusing to think about anything, but he kept his lips on my hands, and all I could do was to look.

With his lips very close to my hands, while he kept them with his own hands, he whispered:

"Some guy, Yasuhiro, has brought you here." He said, and then he stopped, but he didn't look up.

"Yeah, he's a friend of my dad...but why ..." I said but he cut me off, talking from the same position.

"He gave enough money for you to stay here for two years, and he spoke to me, not to the doctor, because he said that he doesn't have time to wait for the doctor to come..." He said and I waited again.

'So what?' I wanted to ask, but what I understood was why the doctor was acting as if we could stay here no matter what, both me and him, and the only questions that I asked him, every time, he answered, but just the questions about my health, now, I get it.

'He looked at Cloud, because he's the only one who can answer, he's the only one who knows, and he, as a doctor, has done his job and that's it, but...'

"What did he say?" I asked, and I hated how my voice sounded.

From the same position he said:

"He told me that your father will never accept you to live in his house again..." He responded, and in the back of my mind, I could just comment: 'my mother's house' but I continued to listen as he spoke.

"And he said that if you want to live with him, then he'll gladly raise you, like his own son, and he even gave me an address, and he said that he'll never bother you if you chose not to live with him, and also..."

In a way, I already knew why he didn't had time to stay with me, he just gave money for them to take care of me, for me to be able to have a new start, and as soon as he knew that I am safe, he moved from his house, from that town, far away from there, from my father and also, from my mother.

'After all, he really loved my mother, and to do all this...' I thought and I closed my eyes but immediately opened them as I felt Cloud moving.

And when I opened my eyes, was to look directly into Cloud eyes, at one centimeter distance.

"And also, he told me that right after your father hit you and….all that …he… he killed himself..." I heard the words, and somehow, I could also see.

'I remember...'

My head hurts, and I feel the blood on my eyes, it bothers me.

"God, have mercy..." I heard a voice saying very close to me, and I immediately recognized it.

'Mr. Yasuhiro?' I thought, but even thinking seemed to be hard, my thoughts moved slow, it was like I was reading a line, letter with letter, not understanding what word they're forming, barely understanding what the sentence means.

I felt like something moves me, and I felt the urge to tell the person who moves me to stop.

'I don't want to move, I want to sleep...' I thought and soon enough, it felt like I was no longer on the floor, which bothered me.

Weak light entered through my closed eyes, and with an unknown will and reason, I opened my eyes.

In front of me, the living room's door is open, the light comes from there, and I see my father, standing on a chair, with a rope in his hands, he binds the old chandelier with it.

'I knew all along. But I refused to remember, I refused to think or to acknowledge.'

I closed my eyes, I realized that when I realized that I see the memory of what happened as if it's in front of me, but I don't see Cloud.

'Mr. Yasuhiro was so worried about me, carrying me with so much gentleness, while praying to God, but still, I wonder if he saw...'

I opened my eyes and I refused to think about it further. Instead, I looked at Cloud who seemed worried, who looked at me as if I was about to break in two, and my hands were still in his.

His hands holding firmly but gently, my own hands.

"It's fine." I said, because I couldn't think of anything else to say.

Instead, he ignored my lie.

"I'm sorry..." He said and I avoided his worried gaze, with all my might, but I know he searches for the truth in my eyes. But there is none.

"It's not your fault." I said and it was the truth and still, just then, it clicked.

I wanted to cry but just when the memory stopped playing in my mind, I heard him talking once again:

"I'll kill the guy! So tell me who he is!" He said, with a demanding voice.

My eyes were staring wide opened at him with confusion, and shock.

I continued to stare at him and he continued to stare at me, right into my eyes, exploring.'

'Why? When I cried and you told me to stop, and even when you slept with me in the same bed, when you embraced me, when you seemed to care just about me, you've talked just with me, these whole weeks, not because you liked me, not because you cared...'

All these thoughts have crushed me down, and so, I took my hands back, I got off of his bed, and this entire time, I could feel my chest burning.

"Ryuu?" He said my name as I started to run away, and soon enough, I was on the corridor, running, and he was running after me.

But I got tired, and after I opened the door, to go down the stairs, I slowed down a bit, and that's when he caught me.

Pushed me to the wall, and kept me there.

"Let me go!" I screamed, and I hit him with my fists, with my leg a bit, but he continued to embrace me, he continued to receive all of my blows, I even scratched him, but he didn't say a word. He didn't even make one sound of pain.

"What's wrong with you? Let go!" I screamed and kicked until I began to cry. I slipped on the wall, and he did the same, along with me, embraced.

I tried to push him away but he didn't move an inch.

I looked into his eyes and he looked into mine. I immediately felt the urge to run away again.

I feel as if he looks at someone who needs help, who is sick, who is weak...

"I don't need your pity! Do you hear me? I hate you! I don't need your pity!"

I screamed and tears started to fell from my eyes, the second time when I cried, and he's still here to see me.

I still look at him, and I cry in the same time, but he has no expression on his face.

"What pity?" He asked me and I was so startled that I couldn't but scream, outraged.

"It was pity from the start, wasn't it? You took care of me this entire time and you put me above everybody else, just because you know that my father brought me in this state, and that he also killed himself! What did you think? I'll help the orphan; he's weak and stupid anyway! Wouldn't it be nice to...?"

I cried, and I screamed, until my words have died in my throat.

With wide opened eyes, and with tears slowly falling from them, I stared at closed eyes until mine, also, have closed.

No sound could be heard, after I yelled so much...

Ironically, at one certain second I thought that he's the only one who would've been able to make me shut up.

And it's ridiculous, how in the same time, I thought that this is, probably, the only effective way.

I am exhausted, so I don't have any strength left to push him away, even if my hands are on his chest, but I just keep them there, feeling how quick his heart beats.

His right hand holds my hair, protecting me from hitting the wall, but also holding it rough, pulling it a little.

His other hand was on my waist and now it slid down, to my thigh, on my right side, pulling me very close to him, while I stay a little weird. With my head against the wall, with his hand there, pulling at my hair and with the rest of my body, against his, as he pulls me closer to him and he also pushes himself on me, closer to the wall.

His lips on my lips, since my lips were already parted, 'cause he begun to kiss me when I was screaming, so his tongue dances with my tongue, and now, he bites at my lower lip, but when I want to say something, he kisses me again, entirely making the words to turn into moans.

'I can't move.' I thought somehow rather quickly, but then as his actions have slowed down, I couldn't, but to think again: 'I don't want to move."

However, his actions, indeed, have slowed down, but that only made me feel more pulled in, into his haze, into his heat and into his everything.

After the kisses have abruptly stopped, I opened my eyes, to look into his eyes, which are staring directly into mine.

Like you were waiting for my approval, a smile, a word or mostly a sign that I didn't felt disgusted by it, or anything close to it.

Even so, I stubbornly refused to show any sign of pleasure or disgust.

However, my expressionless face and my hands around your neck are two different signs.

'You're waiting.' I thought, and a sigh has escaped through your lips, and in that moment, I was caught, I could see it in your eyes.

'Why am I staring at your lips? Or … why can't I look elsewhere?'

It was enough for you, or at least that's what I thought when you hungrily started to lick my bottom lip, then to bite it, and then again, to lick it. After that, our eyes have met again.

But then I couldn't see yours anymore, as I raised my head a little, unconsciously giving you space for you to kiss my neck.

'It's too much...' I thought in the second when I was able to open my eyes to see the white ceiling, then to close my eyes again from the intense pleasure.

'My cheeks, I feel them burning...' This thought was the last one that has passed through my mind before I could no longer think straight.

"Stop ..." I said, in a rush as you've started to take my blouse off.

What surprised me is that you've actually stopped.

'And I was so sure that you'll never listen to me...'

I thought somehow relieved while you've arranged the blouse on me.

'The way he acts with everybody, and even with me, never letting me to say no... Who would've thought...?'

These thoughts were proved while you checked me for any bruises, and further arrangements of my clothes, and then, your hands on my waist, and a sweet peck on my lips.

After this scene, we silently walked back to our room; we didn't uttered one single word. However, everybody from the corridor was very curious and worried about what has happened, the one that has crazily yelled before, now walks calm to his room with the other boy who has never had a quiet reputation from the beginning.

You climbed into my bed, like a thief sneaking into a house, and while I let you embrace me, you've quietly whispered to me:

"What's your decision?" you asked me and I was a bit confused about the sudden unknown subject.

In the warmth of the bed, the silence of the night, with my eyes closed and the comfort from the white soft pillow and your embrace, it all has put me in a sleepy mood very quickly, but somehow, I've found the strength to continue our conversation:

"My decision about what?" I said, slowly and sleepy, in a whisper.

"You'll go and live with that guy?" You asked rather quickly, but very clear. However, it took me seconds to realize what you've just said, and when I did; my eyes have opened, wide and attentive.

When I opened them, I met your eyes that had the same worried glance in them.

'You're waiting for my answer...' I thought and I closed my eyes. I tried to think about my answer.

'Do I really want to go to live with Mr. Yasuhiro? And if I stay, what I'll do? Where I'll live?' I asked myself these questions, and a voice louder than my thoughts has spoke from outside, from reality:

"I'm asking you if you want to live with me..." When you finished your sentence, I opened my eyes to stare into yours again.

'The question is: Am I able to leave you behind?' I asked myself this and I continued to stare into your eyes.

'If it's you...then...' With my eyes on your lips, I said:

"If you're fine with it..."

It didn't seem that you were convinced, so I quietly, but clearly whispered to you:

"Yes."

The moment I said this word, a smile has appeared on your lips, and you kissed me until it was fine for us to stay just embraced.

'Just now I realize why it took you so long to tell me about Yasuhiro…'

With this thought slowly said into my mind, and with a final glance at your closed eyes, I fell asleep.

And as always, I woke up in the middle of the night, in your arms, in your warmth, and the only sound that only I can hear it's the lullaby of your heart beat.

As the memories of today played into my mind; and mostly, the memories before we fell asleep today, a thought has crossed through my mind, and a smile through my lips.

'Who would've thought that you actually care about me?'

However, none of us could've predicted what was about to happen in the following day.

To be continued…

Took me long enough to write this one, yeah I know, this become a bit …romantic… don't know if I should do a lemon in the next one or not, you tell me.

Anyway, if there's any mistake, tell me where, if you want of course. I'm sick, I have fever and won't bother you with the rest of my problems and I feel so ill and sleepy that I barely see what I type so for real, if there's any mistake and if you have the time, tell me where, 'cause I really can't read it anymore, I read for 3 times or 4? I am not able to do it again.

So, hope everybody likes this chapter, though it's a bit pink in the middle of the black, huh.

Hundred of thanks to inuyasha9lover who has reviewed my chapters, which means the world to me, thank you very much, hope I didn't disappoint you.

PS: The next chapter won't take very much, I hope, but reviews will make me update faster or type or however you want to name it (yeah, I'm evil).

And again, new poll about the types of characters you, the readers or even writers want in stories. Check it out if you're interested, I am in your answers.

See you next time, thank you.