Title: Sow and Reap

Author: Serena J

Rating: R for use of the f-word and some sexual content

Genre(s): Romance, Angst

Pairing(s): Primary Seto/Joey/Atemu

Spoilers: none

Beta: Mishiko

Disclaimer: Just the words, not the folks.

Summary: When Seto takes an impromptu vacation, he turns everyone's life upside down.

Chapter 9: Learning To Do Without.

Chapter 9

I was awakened by someone banging on my door. Bleary-eyed, I made my way to the door and opened it.

"Geez!" Joey and a middle-aged woman were standing there. "You look like crap," he observed.

"What is it, Wheeler?" My back and neck were both stiff. A bed of some kind was moving up on my priority list.

"My Mom wanted to meet you," he muttered. "Mom, Kaiba. Kaiba, Mom."

Meeting your lover's parents was supposed to be an important event. I bowed slightly. "Forgive my appearance. I was not expecting guests."

Kawai Shizuko was an average woman, not pretty but not unacceptable, with curly brown hair nothing like Joey's blond cascade. "Oh, please, pardon us! I knew it might be a bit early for you, but we're leaving for the airport shortly and, well, I just thought you might want to go with us." She smiled. "I've been hearing so much about you these last few months, I feel like I know you already."

I couldn't stop myself from yawning and nodded as I did. "Let me get dressed." I closed the door and gathered myself.

I was in the bathroom when I realize that I had just agreed to go with them to what undoubtedly would be an emotional family ordeal. I could just not go. It wasn't as if I was required to. But I had agreed to go and it would be impolite to change my mind now. I sighed. I would simply have to control my own emotions. There was no reason for me to join the histrionics; Joey and I were no longer a couple. No longer lovers. No longer friends, even.

Kawai-san had rented a van to drive Serenity, Joey and a surprisingly small amount of luggage to the airport at Osaka. Honda and I rode with them. If Joey had told me about this trip two weeks ago, I could have arranged a car to take them to a chartered jet. They could have flown to the United States in comfort instead of in coach. Two weeks ago, I could have done that. Today, I can barely afford to contribute to the cost of gas for the van.

"Kaiba-san?" I realized that the small voice had called my name twice. I pulled away from my thoughts and looked at the speaker.

Kawai Serenity was a little older than Mokuba and a lot shyer. The most notable thing about her was her eyes; they were a milky brown color as if there was a film over her irises. Otherwise, she resembled her mother leaving me to suspect that Joey resembled their father.

"Yes?"

"Are you Joey's boyfriend?"

Honda snickered and I found myself flustered.

"Serenity, stop trying to embarrass your brother," Kawai-san admonished.

"Yeah!" Joey added. "Quit being a brat!"

"I am not a brat!" she objected. They bickered for a few minutes allowing me to avoid answering the question.

"So, are you?" she asked again after their dispute had settled down.

I hesitated which gave Honda time to answer for me. "Yes, he is. They just had a fight and neither of them wants to apologize first."

"Shut up, jerk," Joey groused. I didn't see a reason to reply at all.

"Oh. I see." Kawai-san glanced at me in the rear-view mirror. "Well, you could always agree to apologize at the same time."

"I have nothing to apologize for," I said simply.

Joey muttered something in English that I didn't catch and his Mother glanced at him sharply. "Joey! Not in front of your sister."

"Sorry."

Honda and Serenity carried the conversation from that point while I looked out the window and thought about what stage two of my job search should be if I needed a second stage. I was about to ask Anzu for my calendar until I realized that she wasn't there.

A phone. I needed to purchase a new phone. And a calendar. Maybe I should start my own company rather than work for someone else.

"Kaiba-san?" Kawai-san was shaking me gently. "We're here." I hadn't realized that I'd fallen asleep but I roused myself quickly to join the rest of the group.

Honda and Joey were unloading the van. I got out of the vehicle and I honestly didn't know what to do. I never carried luggage. My secretary always had my tickets and knew which gate to go to. I felt useless.

"Uhgh! I'd lose my head if it wasn't attached!" Kawai-san frantically searched her purse until she pulled out an envelope. "Oh thank God! I was afraid I'd left them at home. Kaiba-san, please keep these before I really do lose them." She handed me the tickets without waiting for my answer. "Ok. Joey, do you have everything you need?"

"Yes, Mom."

"Serenity? Last chance."

"Mom! I'm going to be in the stupid hospital the whole time. I won't need anything."

"Books, games?"

She rolled her eyes. If I had done that to my Father he would have broken my jaw. "No, Mom!"

"Ok." Kawai-san locked the van. "Ok, four kids, two tickets, car keys, the doors are locked. Everybody take a bag."

Honda took great perverse joy in handing me what must have been the heaviest piece of luggage there. I carried it simply to prove I could.

The concourse was loud. Normally, in the rare event that I was flying on a common carrier, I waited in the first class lounge where it was quiet so I could work. Honda and I waited while Kawai-san got the luggage checked and got their boarding passes.

"So you are really going to let Joey get on a plane and vanish for six months without saying anything."

"There is nothing that needs to be said."

"Kaiba, come on! At least tell him you'll miss him!"

"I won't."

"That is such a lie!" Honda nearly exploded. "I can't believe even you believe that."

"A simple act of will. I assure you I will not miss him in the slightest."

He looked at me for a moment and then shook his head. "No. I don't believe that for a minute. Not even from you, Kaiba. And if you believe it, you are seriously messed up in the head."

I shrugged. It didn't matter if he believed me or not.

Those not traveling were not allowed through security. My staff always followed me to the gate whether they were flying or not. Kawai-san was torn looking at Joey and Serenity, and then Honda and I.

Joey solved it for her. "Look, Mom, you might as well head back. You still gotta work today, right?"

"Yes but -"

"Don't worry! I'll keep an eye on the squirt."

"And I'll keep the thug out of trouble," his sister countered. "You worry too much, Mom. You should have some fun while we're gone."

"I have plenty of fun with you two." She thought about it for a moment. "I guess it doesn't make much sense for us all to stand around waiting. Ok. First, a bathroom break for you, young lady."

"They have bathrooms on the plane, Mom."

Kawai-san's eyes just briefly landed on Joey and I. "Yes they do. But they have them here, too, so march." She paused with a significant look at Honda. "Two hours will be a long drive home."

"Yeah, no I'm – oh – yeah. Yeah, I should go, too. Be back in a couple minutes."

"Subtle." Joey rolled his eyes as they all moved away leaving us as alone as possible in an airport. "Look, Tak –"

"Please don't call me that anymore." It didn't feel right to allow it.

"You have to be a dick now?"

"Just as you persist in being a foul-mouthed cur."

"You know what?" He started to speak several times but stopped. "You are such an arrogant little prick!" he finally seethed.

"I am who I am."

"You're a son of a bitch!"

"Making you a stray mutt?"

His Mother returned before we could trade any more insults. She pulled him aside after one glance at his expression.

"You guys just couldn't kiss and make up, could you?" Honda shook his head sadly.

I didn't reply; the whole trip had been a waste of my day.

There was a final moment as Honda embraced Joey when I felt a surge of jealousy. For just an instant, I wanted to shove him aside and hold Joey there, keep him from leaving at all. But it passed before they let each other go and I was able to indicate my goodbye with a slight nod. I did wish his sister well, though

We stayed until we saw them pass through security without incident and head together through the door that took them to the next concourse. Joey looked back once. Kawai-san waved frantically, but he didn't see her. Or she wasn't who he was looking for. We left immediately after that.

"So, Hiroto," Kawai-san tried to remain upbeat as we drove home, "since we're both on our own for a while, how about you let me treat you to breakfast?"

"I have never turned down a free meal," he answered, laughing.

'Yes you have', I thought. 'When I brought it to your door, you said it cost too much.'

"Kaiba-san?"

Again, I had been lost in thought. "Yes?"

"What do you think, breakfast?"

I would have preferred to salvage at least part of my day but she clearly intended to stop regardless of my opinion. "If you'd like."

"Good! There's a little place we passed on the way up that had American blueberry pancakes on their sign. Have you boys ever had blueberry pancakes?" She didn't wait for either of us to answer. "Oh, my God. When I first went to America – as an exchange student, I must have been your age, I think – I stayed with the Wheelers – my husband's family. Of course, he wasn't my husband then!" she laughed. "They were my host family. And his mother made blueberry pancakes for my first American breakfast. I thought I'd died and gone to heaven! I could have eaten them every day!" She went on about the food, the family, American high school, anything she could think of. Honda asked a question or two each time she seemed to be running out of material and I wanted to tear my brain out the entire trip. The whole conversation gave me a raging headache. She extracted a promise from both of us to try the pancakes as we pulled into the restaurant parking lot.

I found them too sweet, but I did make a mental note to see that Mokuba tried them. I suspected they would wind up as a staple in his pantry. Honda loved them almost as much as Kawai-san did and they enjoyed themselves completely. I was aware that I would have enjoyed the meal far more if I were paying for it.

"So, Kaiba-san," she said when the conversation lulled. "Joey told me some of what you're going through right now."

I shrugged. "It will be a learning period."

"It will," she agreed. "Here." She pulled a slip of paper out of her purse – she had no trouble finding it despite the fact that it was far smaller than the earlier envelope. On it was her name and two phone numbers. "I don't expect that you would need my help with anything, but if you do need something, I hope you'd feel free to call me. Actually," she laughed to herself, "I hope you do call me. It's going to be very quiet without Joey and Serenity to look after. Honda all but takes care of himself."

"Aw!" He grinned easily. "Everybody needs a Mom sometimes. Right, Kaiba?"

No, not at all. "Yes. Of course. Thank you." I put the note in my pocket.

She paid the bill and we returned to the car. "Kaiba-san, now here's something you can do for me. You duel, right?"

I tried not to be insulted. "I am currently the number one duelist in the world."

"You or Yugi?" Honda asked.

"I currently outrank him." Thanks more to Kujaku's distraction than to my own skill, but it hardly mattered.

"Even being number fifty would impress me!" she said. "I don't understand it at all. But Joey goes to those tournaments all the time and he wins impressive amounts of money – and he's not at your level, is he?"

I had to chuckle. "No."

"So I was hoping you could explain the game to me, a bit. I mean Joey has tried, but I just keep missing something. You have the cards and you have points, right?"

"Yes." We spent the rest of the drive talking about Duel Monsters and dueling. Several times I had to revise my way of describing the process either because of her lack of gaming knowledge or because of her 'parental hearing' – as she described it – getting her stuck on the wrong concept. As we neared home, I realized that the conversation was the basis for a new game manual, but no one had been taking notes and all of what was said might have been lost. My eidetic memory is phenomenal, but an entire two-hour conversation would be difficult to recapture.

She dropped us off at our building. "When's your father due back, Hiroto?" she asked.

"Next month. Probably the 15th or so."

"Give him my love if I miss him, ok? Call me if you need anything, both of you."

"Yes, ma'am!" he laughed. He waved as she drove off. Then he sighed heavily. "So, what do you want to do today?"

"I have a great deal of work to do. I'm afraid I can't simply hang out for the rest of the afternoon."

"Oh, well, yeah. I mean, I've got homework too." He paused. "Hey, why don't you come up? We've got two computers – you can use the spare. Actually, it just sits in the closet now. I'll bet Dad wouldn't mind if you just took it. I mean, until you get your own."

I was about to turn the offer down until I realized how stupid it would be to waste the resource. And, frankly, I used to enjoy doing homework with Honda and Joey. Sitting on my floor, staring at my textbooks was too reminiscent of sitting at my desk as a child, literally chained to it until I finished my assignments correctly. Speed won me freedom, errors brought me lashes.

I shook those thoughts from my head. "Yes. Thank you. I will get my books and join you."

"Great!"

When I got to Honda's apartment, he was setting up a computer in the living room even older than the ones at school. I groaned out loud when the Windows 2000 logo appeared.

"I know," he chuckled but it was hollow. "Joey used it for a while until his Mom got him his laptop."

"It's a dinosaur. Does it even have web access?"

"Oh, yeah! We've got a split connection and, I mean, it's not great, but you can work. You can download stuff. It just takes, like, five minutes instead of one."

That was faster than the school's shared connection, but not as fast as the café's instant.

Then a screen popped up for a password. 'This machine is registered to Honda Ichirou'. Honda-sama's name was 'Kenshin'. I didn't ask, but Honda answered my unspoken question.

"My brother. He and my mom died in a train wreck in Amagasaki. Back in 2000. It was all over the news. The wreck, I mean. Like, 100 people died. They were visiting my Grandparents. A commuter train going way too fast jumped the track and crashed into my grandparent's apartment building." He typed while he talked, but I could see the subject upset him. "I was supposed to go with them, but I got a bad grade on my math test and Dad made me stay home."

Neither of us spoke for a few minutes. I didn't know what to say. It was obviously emotionally costly for him to use this equipment, so fraught with painful memories. I knew I should say something comforting, but I truly wished Anzu were there to handle such a delicate moment.

I opened my mouth to offer my condolences, but instead said, "My mother died in childbirth with Mokuba. I was five. My father died when I was eight."

He was silent for a moment. "That reeks," he said finally. "I don't know what I'd have done if I lost Dad too."

"You would have overcome."

"No." He shook his head. "I'm not like you. If both my parents had died, I'd have just, I don't know, lost it. I couldn't do it alone."

"I haven't," I pointed out. "I had to take care of my brother. Everything I've done was to ensure he had the best of what life can offer."

He nodded. "Yeah, I have to give you that. You are an awesome big brother. Mokuba told me you've always been there for him. He said you were even the first one in to rescue him."

"He is the only thing I have." I hadn't meant to say it, but I doubted it had any real meaning to Honda.

But he smiled. "Not the only thing. You also have a friend." He got up. "Look, why don't you get started here and I'll go scrounge up something in the kitchen. Those pancakes were good but they sure weren't filling."

We spent most of the day studying. I spent some time on my job hunt – mostly checking for responses. We did waste some time dueling and I wrote a few general notes for a beginner's dueling manual. Honda thought it was a good idea as well and helped me reconstruct much of the conversation with Kawai-chan.

As it was getting dark, it began to dawn on me that I hadn't seen Honda-sama in a day or so. "Where is your father?" I asked finally.

"Back out at sea, by now." He saw my look of confusion. "Dad's a commercial fisherman. He's out on the boats ten to twenty days at a time usually." He had been typing when I asked the question and he continued as he spoke. "It's going to be quiet around here with him and Joey gone." He paused and looked at me. "Of course, you can hang out anytime you want. I mean, it's not like I'll be busy or anything. So if you need help or something. Or if you're just bored. Or whatever."

He let me borrow Joey's futon and a few extra blankets when he realized that I was sleeping on the floor. I complained that more of his furnishings were in my apartment than in his but he ignored me and we carried the heavy things down together.

As I wound down my evening I began to get a sense of how lonely Honda appeared to be. Joey and his father were gone, Anzu would have her hands full taking on one third of my responsibilities at KaibaGames, Mutou had been out of touch since we returned from Aruba. To all appearances, I was the only friend he had left. I had to laugh at the irony of that and vowed to myself that I would check on him occasionally. Honda was not the type of person to be left alone for long periods.

My dreams the first night Joey was gone were arousing. By the end of that week, they were disruptively erotic. I'd wake suddenly in the middle of the night, groaning, sweating and panting. There was usually cum splattered from my abdomen to my chest. And almost all of my dreams were a replay of our last night together, of his dominance of me. Except that in my dreams, he was more aggressive, more forceful. I was more submissive to his will. It was terrifying. And yet at the same time, exhilarating.

I did not understand these dreams. I found the idea of being dominated repulsive. In all honesty I didn't want to dominate him either. I enjoyed our balance, giving and taking equally. I spent so much time in control of others that it was nice to share control with someone. But I had no desire to give up control completely. Except in my dreams with Joey taking me hard and fast and aggressively.

By the second week, my days had become a vague impression of time passing. And it was getting cold. I had discovered how to control the heat but after the first bill arrived – with usage for only half the billing cycle already outrageously expensive – I vowed to turn it off and leave it off. I began sleeping fully dressed under as many blankets as I had but, thanks to my dreams, I was now doing a lot of laundry.

Someone smacked the back of head sharply. It woke me and instantly I realized that I was falling asleep sitting at a school desk. Last time that happened, Father lashed me 40 times, promising to double the number if it ever happened again. My body jumped out of the seat at the same time that my brain realized the incident I was remembering was four years ago.

"Something to add, Kaiba-san?" the instructor asked as my classmates snickered. "I'm so sorry we were boring you."

I was embarrassed and livid. "Excuse me," I said without a word of explanation and left the room.

I went to the bathroom and wiped my face in an effort to wake myself. Honda must have hit me; only he and Ryou would have the audacity to do something like that to me in public. I should not have been falling asleep in class, however, sleep at night was becoming more elusive. My stress was at an all time high.

Most concerning was that I had not found a job yet. My rent was due in two weeks and I did not have the funds for it. Nor did I have any concrete idea where I could obtain the funds necessary. There had been no responses to the CVs I sent out. I resorted to going to businesses and turning in CV's until one receptionist accused me of using a false name. I had to show her my identification before she would accept it. From then on, I attached a copy of my ID to the rest of the documents. I had managed to get almost half the money offering my services as a Kaiba-certified technician and installing Dueling tech for schoolmates and others. That had some success but there wasn't enough work available. I had left an ad posted in several places to provide some additional income, but the idea would only supplement any full-time position I found.

The night before, I spend the entire evening going from store to store at the local mall filling out applications. Tonight, I would do the same at the stores downtown.

I returned to class and managed to stay awake to the end.

"Kaiba-san, may speak to you?" the instructor called me as the class was leaving.

"Falling asleep in your class was unpardonable," I began.

"I am concerned about that but it's not what I wanted to speak to you about." He pulled my last paper from his desk. "I will not accept this from you."

"Excuse me?"

"This is far below the level of your work in this class. I won't accept it knowing full well that you can do better. Now, the headmaster has informed us that you are having some difficulties at home and I understand that you do not have some of your previous resources available but this – this – this is inexcusable. You have one week to re-do it and give me something that shows you at least read the assignment."

I took the paper back; it wasn't as if I really had a choice.

Honda was waiting for me. "Wow. Harsh."

"He's correct. My work of late has been substandard at best. I doubt he will be the only teacher to return assignments to me."

He wasn't.

Between that and the lack of sleep, my day was exhausting. By the time Cheering ended, I was honestly at my end. I could think of nothing but going home and hoping I could keep my eyes closed.

"Hey, Kaiba-san." One of the baseball players called me as I was leaving the locker room. I didn't recognize him, but at the moment, I wasn't sure if I would recognize Mokuba.

"What?"

"Uh, ok. Look, Suzuki says you're an ok guy and word's going around that you're looking for a job."

I found the strength to be indignant. "My employment issues are none of your concern."

He frowned. "Look, do you need a job or not?"

"I will resolve my own problems," I said.

"My Dad owns a hardware store. He needs somebody to do stock. None of my friends want it 'cause my Dad's kind of a hard-ass. But I told him I might know someone. So are you interested?"

Networking; I hadn't even considered networking at the high school level. I bowed. "I would be most humbly grateful."

He rolled his eyes. "It's not all that. Come on; if you have time tonight, I'll take you over. Let you meet 'The General'. You won't be thanking me after you've worked with him for a week!"

Takahashi Rakuo was my classmate's name I managed to learn before I was embarrassed. His Father was positively permissive compared to mine. He allowed me to start right away. I knew nothing about hardware, but the job came down to putting objects in the properly labeled bin or on the right shelf. Even I could manage that. The store closed at 9pm and I stayed an hour more to do the required new hire paperwork.

I had to do it twice because the first time I instinctively completed all the management sections.

By the time I got home, I fell asleep fully dressed. I still woke up in the middle of the night but my dreams were becoming even more sexual and more distorted. Ryou and even Anzu I could understand. But now Mokuba was in them, forcing me on my knees and holding me there with a hand full of my hair. I woke up with my school uniform covered with sweat and cum; I threw it in my laundry pile and showered.

Dreams are the subconscious mind randomly connecting thoughts. Was I trying to tell myself something or was this all meaningless? Hmm. Perhaps I could make an appointment with myself and discuss it at a more reasonable hour. I'd have myself talk to my secretary just as soon as I had one again.

The next morning was Saturday. Insistent banging on my door awoke me. Honda was calling me and clearly worried.

"Calm down," I yawned. "What's wrong?"

"Where have you been? You vanished after school and nobody knew where you were! If you weren't here this morning, I was going to call your dad next!"

I stared at him. "Don't ever do that. Why would you even suggest that?"

"Your brother got kidnapped! They could try that with you. How do I know? What am I supposed to do? You didn't call, leave a note, nothing!"

"I was at work!"

His whole tone changed. "You found something? Awesome! Where is it?"

"Takahashi Hardware. Honda, I'm serious. I don't care if you find my dead body, do not call my father. Mazaki or Bakura. Mokuba. My cousin Kaiba Noah if you absolutely can't find anyone else. Calling my father will only cause you trouble."

Honda looked at me. I know he wanted to argue but he was thinking of his father; he had no experience with mine. In the end, he shook his head. "Ok, whatever. Hey! Let's go grab breakfast! Do you have to work today?"

"Yes."

"What time?"

I paused; I had no idea. I flipped through the papers I had brought home but none of them listed the store hours. Honda helped me find the store's number and let me use his phone to call them. No answer.

"Easy!" He said. "We'll go by on our way to breakfast. If they're not open, they'll have their hours on the door." He looked at me, concerned. "And I know you're worried about this homework thing, but you seriously need to get some sleep. You look wrecked."

The store was open when we got there but Takahashi-sama did not expect me until 10am. "I want you here to restock after the morning rush." Honda and I had breakfast nearby and I went to my first day as an employee afterwards.

The work was easy, actually. It took a day to learn how the store was laid out but the order was logical so it only took another day to memorize. As I began to learn the function of each tool, I found new understandings of some of my design work. When I didn't have other assignments, I paid careful attention to the service men. They often explained to customers how to do repairs or builds. Takahashi himself noticed me and began specifically teaching me projects mostly electrical and plumbing. But from these, I made a wealth of notes about how to better design the Arena3 series. And for another idea for something even smaller – the Arena4 for apartments. I promised myself that Suzuki would get the first one available.

Takahashi-sama was generous enough to give me my first week's salary a few days early so that I could pay my rent on time and in full. It seemed foolish, but I felt like it was one of my most triumphant days.

I was still having some trouble sleeping, but most days I was so exhausted my sleep was dreamless. And yet not restful. I started having persistent headaches that nothing I did would abate for more than an hour.

And then I got sick.