Someone Like You
I heard that you settled down. That you found a girl and you're married now.
Jax brought me to the hospital, and I suggested that he wait while I checked in on Abel. I was the one who had brought him the news about his son being born, it only felt right that I be the one to bring him the news about how he was fairing after the overnight recovery from his surgery. I checked in at the nurse's station to see what had happened with Wendy, and then entered the NICU and checked Abel's charts and checked on him physically. He was still in his incubator, but he looked like his color was more normal. Everything looked to be in the clear.
I went out to the waiting room to tell Jax. He had been pacing the waiting area, and looked up as soon as he heard the doors swing open. I couldn't help but smile at him, this caused him to let out a sigh as I approached.
"It looks like he is going to make a full recovery. He will still need some time here, but it looks like he might be out of the incubator in a couple of days. It looks good Jax, it looks real good." I couldn't keep the happiness out of my voice. Just the other day this little baby had only been given a 20% chance to survive, and now he is chance had not only doubled by increased by leaps and bounds.
I heard that your dreams came true. Guess she gave you things I didn't give you.
Jax let out a gasping breath and then grabbed me in a hug. "He's gonna be okay? You mean he's really gonna make it? Thank you. Thank you. "
The embrace lasted a breath too long, my body began to become aware of his closeness, his hand holding my head, with his fingers in my hair. His other hand on my side, with his muscular bicep holding me across my back. His chest was far more developed than when we were teenagers, I can remember him being fit back then, but time and manual labor had added more to him. I could feel that it was more defined. I could hear his heart beating, his smell filled my nostrils and triggered my pulse to quicken. I heard him inhale deeply and then kiss the top of my head. He broke the embrace and backed away with his hands holding my shoulders. He looked into my eyes, and I feared I would fall and be lost for good in his. He removed his grip on me and ran a hand over his face. I felt the loss of his touch immediately. This was getting to be too much already. I needed to put space between us. We had agreed to be friends. I wasn't here to be with him. I needed a space place, and I needed Jac to get to know her father, and for him to know her.
"Also, Wendy is in a sedated detox. She'll be unconscious for a couple of days. From there she is going to a rehab center." I left out the part about her ODing last night, using a syringe that someone had snuck into her room and that it was full of the same drug that nearly killed her and his son.
Old friend, why are you so shy? Ain't like you to hold back, or hide from the light.
He nodded, and then said he needed to call Gemma and let them know that Abel was going to be okay. I let him know that he could go back and see Abel. He smiled, and thanked me. Then I lead him back to see his son. I gave them time alone. Checking in on other patients, and just forcing myself to stay away from the NICU and the Teller men. I kept myself busy for a couple of hours, but my rounds ended up bringing me by the quiet wing of the unit. Instead of Jax I found Gemma sitting in the rocking chair, reading a book. I wanted to smile at the scene, but I can't help but remember that this woman would go to any length to get what she wants. And yesterday she was sure that Wendy didn't deserve to live because of what she had caused this baby, and Wendy had nearly paid that price last night.
I made my way toward the nurse's station, I had found that most of them were very welcoming and liked the fact that there was a female doctor on the staff. I was talking about the morning visit to the school with a couple of them when my cell phone went off in my pocket. I pulled it out and looked at the number, it was a Chicago area code. It didn't register as any of the numbers I had programmed in when I had changed my number. I took the chance of answering even though my gut told me not to.
"Hello?"
"Hey! I'm glad I'm not sick. You're a tough doctor to track down." Josh's voice came through the other end and I snapped the phone closed. I stared at it for a moment, unsure that this had just happened.
I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited. But I couldn't stay away. I couldn't fight it.
"Hey you okay?" I looked up to see David Hale, a friend from high school standing next to me.
"Um, yeah. Work stuff." I said, knowing that he could probably sense the lie. David was a good cop, his bullshit radar had been fine tuned when were younger. He looked at me and shook his head.
"The Oswald girl?" He asked. I knew very little about the situation, but the daughter of one of Charming's prominent figures had been found out in the woods, after a day long search. Talk around the staff was that it looked like she had been beaten and raped. The poor thing was barely 14.
"Last door down the hall." I pointed him in the direction of her room. The Oswald's wanted things kept quiet, only one doctor and limited nursing staff were handling things, and he had personal security sitting outside of her room.
I was tempted briefly to ask David if a restraining order from Illinois would still be good here in Charming. I also knew asking that would cause David to ask questions I wasn't willing to discuss. I decided that if I didn't know the number I wouldn't be answering my phone, and that the number one thing on my 'To Do' list was to get a new phone and new number as soon as I could.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded. That for me, it isn't over.
I kept myself busy until Jax arrived with Jac in tow. She seemed to be in a good mood, I asked how her day had gone and she told me all about her class.
"So Piney's granddaughter Ellie is in my class. She is pretty nice. Quiet, but that's okay. She said her dad hangs out with Jax a lot. I guess they are best friends. She asked if I had been to Fun Town, the carnival that is in town for the next week. Do you think we could go some time before it leaves? Oh and maybe could I hang out with Ellie some time, after school or on a weekend?" She was so excited to have made a friend. It only figured it would have had to be a Winston.
"Maybe, we'll see. I better get you down to daycare. Do you have homework that you need to get done? Are you hungry? We can stop in the cafeteria quick?" The call from Josh had me on edge, I wanted to keep her close to me for as long as possible, but I didn't want to make her nervous that something was wrong.
"I'm good, Jax got me drive through on the way over. Actually he was the one who wanted it. Something about a bad taste in his mouth. Whatever. And before you freak, I didn't get anything all that bad." She rolled her eyes at me. I draped my arm across her shoulders and lead her down to the staff daycare facility. She talked the whole way about school and getting to know Ellie. It made my heart just a little lighter to hear her sound so happy.
Nevermind, I'll find someone like you. I wish nothing but the best for you too. Don't forget me, I beg, I'll remember you said: "Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead". Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead. Yeah.
After I dropped her off, I headed back up to do some more rounds and check in on Abel again. The NICU and newborn nursery were quickly becoming my favorite areas on the pediatric floor. There was something calming about being around them. And Abel, well he just tugged at every fiber of my being much like Jac did as a baby. I kept telling myself that it was because I had been there to assist with his delivery, and then with the operations for his belly and heart. I would of course he lying if I didn't admit that part of the draw had something to do with the fact that he was Jackson Teller's child. I found Jax sitting there, reading the same book Gemma had been reading earlier. I couldn't help but wonder if he would have read that book to Jac. What would things have been like if I had stayed? What if I had come back sooner? The what if's piled up a mile high, but there was nothing that could be done about the past. I could only work toward the present and a different future than what I had feared for myself and my child ten years ago. I watched Jax for a while, and then headed back to the nurse's station to check in again. I was signing off on some papers when my phone rang. Again it was a Chicago area code, but the number was different. I didn't answer. If I could have turned the damn thing off I would have. Part of me wanted to drop it down the incinerator shoot. I definitely needed a new phone and number as soon as possible.
Much like earlier, David appeared as if sent by a higher power in this time of need. He was coming from the Oswald's room. He was frustrated because the investigation into what happened and who had done this to their daughter was being held up by their refusal to allow him to talk to her.
You know how the time flies. Only yesterday was the time of our lives. We were born and raised in a summer haze. Bound by the surprise of our glory days.
"They think they are protecting her by building a wall around her."
"Tristen needs to talk to somebody."
"I need something, anything to help catch this guy so we aren't doing this with another girl."
"I know Karen needs to sign some insurance forms, I'll try to get an admin to keep her busy for a while."
"Thank you."
"I need a favor too. More of a question really. It's going to sound very dramatic."
"Okay."
"If I had a restraining order against someone in another city would it still be valid if I went someplace else?"
"That all depends, every state's a little different. You think that someone might be coming here?"
"No, no I doubt it. There was this guy I dated during my internship in Chicago. Things got weird, he got a little. It's hard to explain."
"Well you want to give me his name? I'll run it through the system."
"No, no. It's okay. I'm just being paranoid."
"How long ago did you get the R.O.?"
"Ahh, about six or seven months ago."
"I'll make some general calls. See if it is still if it is still in play out here."
"Okay. Thanks."
I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited, but I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it. I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded, that for me it isn't over.
I felt relief that we might have some protection still. It took so long for someone to take me seriously. Josh was an ATF agent. We met when I was doing a shift in the ER. His partner had been shot in the line of duty. It started as small talk, and then progressed to him stopping by the hospital to have coffee with me, then asking for my number. I kept him at bay for a while. Avoiding letting him know I had a child, not sure that I was even interested. But after a few months when I was sure he would have given up I decided if he was going to keep trying I could at least have dinner with him one night. I kept things simple, because of my schedule and his job it meant that I didn't see him much. Which worked out fine for a while. But then he wanted to get more serious. And it was then that he began to get weird, possessive. When he found out about Jackson, he began to question who I had been with. How had I made it through school alone. I avoided too much talk about Charming and Jackson's father. He hated that I had a tattoo from when I was younger. Questioned what the "Forever" meant.
Nevermind, I'll find someone like you. I wish nothing but the best for you too. Don't forget me, I beg, I'll remember you said: "Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead".
Once things turned bad I tried to end things. That only made things worse. The attack happened and the restraining order was put in place because I was able to have a rape kit done, complete with bruises from him restraining me. I had to wait to see if I would miss my period, but I took the necessary precautions with the morning after pill, but I there was no way to be certain. After six weeks the test came back positive, and I scheduled an appointment to have the pregnancy terminated. How he found out was beyond me, but he continued to contact me. Calling the hospital, my cell phone, that was when the opportunity to interview in Charming came up. A blessing in disguise.
Nothing compares, no worries or cares. Regrets and mistakes; they're memories made. Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?
As soon as my shift was over I picked Jac up and we headed out. I found myself double checking around us, and looking over my shoulder. Jac noticed.
"Mom? Everything okay? You seem stressed? Is Abel okay?" She asked and I realized she hadn't had a chance to stop by and see him.
"Hey tomorrow, do you want to do your homework in Abel's room? I'm sure he would like it. His surgeries went well and it looks like he is going to be okay. Some big sister time might do him some more good." In my head I knew it was just a way to keep her closer to me.
I had also caught word through the nurses that it was a Fun Town worker who had attacked Tristen Oswald, that in my mind took that option right off the table as something to do. But the Annual Taste of Charming was this weekend. Apparently Gemma had started it as a way to give back to the community, specifically the schools. Maybe I could use this as a way to get Jac to meet more kids and reconnect with Donna and Opie.
When we got to the house checked the mailbox, there was another envelop, my gut told me not to open it. Not to pull the first one out of my bag where it had been all day. I had Jac sit at the table while I made us a simple dinner. She prattled on more about her day, while she sketched in her book. She showed me some drawings she had done at school. She asked some questions about Jax and I from when we were kids.
"Listen little girl, don't go thinking you are going to create something here. Your father and I had our time. It didn't work out. We have decided to just stick to being friends. No scheming. You get to have both parents, but we talked about this. Not everyone family is the same. They don't all have two parents that live together. Not to mention your grandmother would have another heart attack if she thought the two of us were together. So clear any thought out of your head." I was wielding a wooden spoon while talking to her. She laughed but I was about as serious as I could be.
Nevermind, I'll find someone like you. I wish nothing but the best for you. Don't forget me, I beg, I'll remember you said; "Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"
After dinner I sent her to get cleaned up and head to bed. I knew she was tired. I could see it. And as much as I knew I shouldn't open either one of the envelopes them being in my bag, in the house was getting to me. I didn't want her around when I finally did open them.
I had three more calls all from different Chicago numbers that had to be connected. No message, and it made me nervous. I looked in on Jac, she had fallen asleep with her sketchbook out and the window open a crack. My instinct was to close and lock the window. I kissed Jac goodnight, and was about to close her sketchbook when I saw what she had been working on. I flipped through the book, looking at some of the old sketches, and the new ones. She had drawn some of Jax, Gemma, and the guys. I know she wanted a big family, and maybe she had found it here. They all seemed to have taken to her, and in a way it made me feel better. They would go to the ends of the Earth to protect her. She was Jax's daughter, and she had won them over in one evening together. With that thought I went to my room closed the door and sat on the bed to open each envelope. One contained a dried pink rose pressed between blank paper. There was no return address, and it was just made out to T. Knowles. The second envelope was a picture, of Josh and I. I don't recall when it was taken, he was smiling I had a half smile. Clearly at a point where things were not right. This had to be his way of telling me that he could find me. But little did he know, I wasn't alone any more. My daughter's "family" would stand behind us. I took the two envelopes with their contents, took a picture of them and then went out to the back yard tossed them into the old grill and lit them on fire with one of the old bic lighters that my father or Jax had left in a junk drawer. I watched the flames destroy the items, in the morning I would get a new phone and I would have to have another talk with Jax. If Josh was trying to let me know he could get to me. I needed Jax to know that his daughter was going to need him in case anything happened to me.
Nevermind, I'll find someone like you. I wish nothing but the best for you too. Don't forget me, I beg, I'll remember you said: "Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead". Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead. Yeah.