Chapter Eleven: A Bold Proposal

"Absolutely not. There is no way I can release someone in your condition to outpatient care. And I think you know that."

Dr. Welsh shook his balding head as he studied his patient, his expression almost incredulous. Elena couldn't really blame him, because she'd initially felt the same way. Tseng frowned, though his dark eyes were unreadable as they remained locked on the physician.

"What would I have to do to qualify?" Tseng asked, his tone carefully controlled as if he was involved in a sensitive negotiation. He had previous experience as an outpatient following his hospitalization for the bullet wound he'd sustained, Elena knew, and he clearly intended to take advantage of it. She noticed that his voice sounded much stronger today, and just the fact that he was propped up on several thick pillows instead of lying completely flat on his back seemed to have improved his confidence and made him more alert.

Dr. Welsh sighed and shook his head, setting down Tseng's thick chart and taking a seat on the rolling stool the nurses often used when changing his intravenous lines. "I wish you wouldn't try to rush things. You're doing so well and healing nicely. I'd hate for anything to happen to set you back, or worse. Why are you in such a hurry to leave? Are you not being treated well? Is there something I can do to change your mind?"

Tseng lifted his free hand and made a dismissive gesture. "I would heal better in a quieter, more private environment, and there are sensitive work matters I cannot tend to here."

Elena knew he would never tell the doctor his more personal reasons, but she was impressed with his answer. It was convincing and honest without revealing too much. In fact, it was so typically Tseng that she had to fight a smile. She tried not to fidget as she stood on the opposite side of the bed from the doctor, taking in the discussion without interfering unless she was asked.

"I'm really not comfortable with the idea at all," Dr. Welsh expressed again, looking Tseng over doubtfully. "You still have a large wound, healing internal injuries and badly broken ribs…" He shook his head, pursing his lips and frowning in thought.

"You approved it last time I was under your care."

Tseng's quiet words were spoken almost like a challenge, and Elena suddenly felt a bit nervous. It was the same feeling she'd had when they were discussing the magic that had been used on him back in the temple, something she had still not had the courage to ask him about again. He steadily met the doctor's eyes, testing him, his expression cool and confident. There was a hint of danger just beneath the surface that made Elena shiver, reminding her that Tseng may not have been as helpless as he appeared.

"That was a much less serious injury!" Dr. Welsh finally exclaimed, flustered but standing his ground.

Tseng nodded, his expression softening a bit. "I understand that. I realize I will need to meet certain requirements before you can release me."

Dr. Welsh sighed and nodded reluctantly. Elena had a feeling he would have told any other patient that the discussion was over a long time ago, but because of who Tseng was, it was much harder to refuse him. And even if he did, he would likely only receive a phone call from Rufus later on ordering him to do it anyway. She only hoped that her boss wasn't making a huge mistake that might cost him dearly. She wrung her hands behind her back as she stood quietly at his bedside, still unsure of what the best thing was for him. She knew it was not her decision, however, and kept her troubled thoughts to herself.

"Yes," the doctor admitted, "but for someone in your condition they are not small goals, and I don't want you to set your expectations too high and become frustrated when you're doing so well already. I know you might see me as the enemy right now, but I really do have your best interests in mind."

"I know, and I appreciate that," Tseng said, appearing a bit uncomfortable before he quickly hid it. "I assure you, however, that I am accustomed to working toward difficult goals."

"Very well, because I know you're going to insist no matter what I say," Dr. Welsh said with an exasperated smile. "To start, you need to be able to drink and eat on your own. You should be healed enough internally to start now, and that will be a few less tubes for you at least."

"Wonderful…"

"I'll put that in my orders today, to start you on liquids and soft food. You'll also need to show that you can keep your blood oxygen level in the normal range without assistance. We only send a nurse to visit outpatients a maximum of three times a day because of staff shortages, so that's how often it'll be checked once you leave here. Your left lung collapsed and also sustained permanent damage to the lower quadrant, and Nurse Becky reports that your breathing still sounds labored on that side fairly often. That concerns me, and I'm not sure what will happen once we remove your oxygen."

Tseng nodded and looked unconcerned, but Elena couldn't help but stare at the small clear tube that ran beneath his nose and snaked over his ears in horror. What if they removed it, and he couldn't breathe well enough on his own? Gods, why hadn't she thought of that before she agreed to help him work toward going home? At least if he was still there and it happened, they would know immediately and be able to assist him. But if he managed to get himself released… She swallowed nervously, suddenly feeling ill. Things were moving too quickly, and she was torn between her loyalty to Tseng and her common sense. She wished she had some time alone to think about the situation clearly without her emotions getting in the way, and without anyone else's input, but it was a luxury she simply hadn't had.

"Anything else?"

"We'll have to change all your medications to oral doses instead of intravenous, so you'll have to be able to swallow them and remember to take them on schedule. You'd also need to demonstrate the ability to walk from here, to the restroom, and back well enough to convince us you aren't a serious risk for a fall. We'll provide you with a walker, and you'll take it to your quarters with you as well."

Tseng rolled his eyes as if he had no intentions of using such a thing. Elena wondered if he realized how weak his injury had left him, or if he was just trying to protect his pride. She had serious doubts he could even hold his own weight, let alone actually walk across the small room. If the weakness and fatigue didn't bring him down, the pain certainly would. He was strong and determined, but even the toughest of men had their limits. The fact that Tseng didn't seem to think he had any concerned her greatly.

"I don't see any reason why I can't accomplish all of those things. And when I do, you will release me? I was told I was an ideal outpatient last time."

"This injury is a lot more serious, as I've told you several times," Dr. Welsh said, allowing a bit of frustration to slip into his normally pleasant tone. "There are slightly different rules for the highly rare and unusual event that someone in such a serious condition is allowed to be released as an outpatient."

Tseng frowned, his brow creasing with concern. "Oh?"

For just a moment, Elena felt a surge of relief rush through her. But at the same time, she felt sick with dread. Being released was all Tseng cared about, and if he learned he had to remain in the hospital indefinitely, she had no idea what it would do to his emotional health. She wanted him to be happy, but she also wanted to keep him safe. Gods, she didn't know what she wanted any more. It was as if she was being pulled in two different directions and about to be ripped in half. She struggled to listen to Dr. Welsh speak when all she wanted to do was run from the room and curl up in her bed back in Midgar.

"Because of your condition, and how easily something could happen in the hours between the nurses' visits… a fall, sudden bleeding, difficult breathing, any number of complications… we only release severe cases like yours as outpatients if there is twenty-four hour supervision."

Tseng's frown deepened. "What exactly does that mean?"

"It means that someone has to be there with you literally twenty-four hours a day in your quarters. A spouse, a family member, someone has to stay there and cannot leave you alone for any reason until your status is upgraded. Do you have anyone who could…?"

"No. I live alone."

The words were uttered so quickly, his tone so flat, that the absence of emotion was far louder than any he could have expressed. Elena winced, biting her cheek before she could react. Dr. Welsh looked distinctly uncomfortable for a moment, then filed Tseng's chart away and flashed his trademark smile.

"Well, go ahead and start working on those other things. I'm very impressed with how far you've come already, and either way you'll be out of here before you know it! Page me if you have any questions or need anything, all right?"

Tseng nodded quietly, a faraway look in his eyes. Elena shook the doctor's hand before he hurried from the room and down the hallway to his next appointment. She sighed heavily and dropped into the chair at Tseng's bedside, her mind still racing. While she was relieved to know he would remain physically safe within the walls of the hospital, she instantly felt guilty when she saw the vacant way he was staring up at the ceiling. He had been clinging to the idea of returning to his quarters like a lifeline, and now it was gone.

Or was it…?

Elena had told him she would remain at his side until he recovered, and assist him any way she could. She had agreed to help him get away from the medical center if it was in any way possible. She'd made Tseng a promise, and she had meant every word.

"Do you really think you could do all of those things he listed?" Elena heard herself ask him before she gave herself time to change her mind. He said nothing for long moments, his eyes now closed.

"Of course I could."

"How long do you think it would take you?"

"I don't know… a week? Perhaps a bit longer. What does it matter? He's not going to release me. It must be quite obvious to you by now that I don't have any family rushing to be at my side."

There was no bitterness in his words. They were spoken as mere facts, something that both puzzled and troubled Elena. She wished she knew him better or had the nerve to question him about it, but at the moment that wasn't what mattered.

She realized he was watching her as she tried to sort out her thoughts, so distracted that she hadn't realized he'd opened his eyes and turned his head her way. For just a moment, he looked so tired and defeated, but he quickly hid it behind his mask of professionalism. How she hated the way he could do that! Every time he seemed about to show some sign of how he really felt, to share some part of himself with her, the walls went up and he buried it far below the surface. Did he ever allow anyone to get to know him? Did he shield himself on purpose, or was it something he couldn't help or had to do? So many questions, so much she wanted to know…

"Is something wrong?" he asked quietly. When he met her eyes, she was alarmed by how empty they were, as if the fight had gone out of them. She couldn't let him give up now! He had come so close to death, and had fought so hard to live. He'd beaten all the odds, and he needed to keep doing so if he ever hoped to return to the Turks. Yes, something was wrong! And it would be wrong forever if he couldn't return to the job he loved. It would be wrong if she couldn't see him there every day and had to try to continue on without him. She wanted to shout at him, reach out and take his hand, do something to tell him how much he mattered and how much she cared. But she sat paralyzed, unable to speak, until she couldn't take it any longer.

"I… uh… just remembered that I need to check in with Reno!" Elena suddenly exclaimed, grabbing her PHS from her blazer pocket and practically leaping out of the chair. She was suffocating under his gaze and the weight of her emotions and desperate to escape before she did something she could never take back. Tseng blinked, surprised, and watched her a bit doubtfully. Was it hurt she caught a glimpse of in his dark eyes, or was he just exhausted?

"All right…"

She barely noticed as he used his free hand to pull the blankets closer around his broken body, closed his eyes, and attempted to escape reality as she hurried from the room and down the hallway. She looked around for a quiet place to make a call but found the corridors crowded and full of activity. They often were in the early evening, when most visitors arrived to see their family and friends, and she had to dodge and weave as she made her way around a corner. She finally recalled a women's restroom at the very end of the next hallway that was largely unused, because it was a bit out of the way and there was a more modern one located closer to the elevators. When she arrived she made a quick check and was pleased to find it abandoned, sliding a heavy trashcan in front of the door. She doubted anyone would come by, but if they did she would just pull her badge and send them on their way. She needed privacy for this conversation.

With a shaking hand, she looked down at her PHS and stared at the number she'd selected from her speed dial settings. Should she really go through with this? There were so many things that could go wrong, so many reasons why she shouldn't… but so many reasons why it was the right thing to do. It wouldn't be easy, and she didn't know if Tseng would agree to it even if she was granted permission… but she had to try. She had promised to be there for him, and he had no one else. If this was something he needed her to do for him, she was more than willing.

After taking another moment to gather her courage, she finally forced herself to take a deep breath and press the button that would dial Reno's number. As she lifted the device to her ear, she half-hoped he wouldn't answer. She knew he and Rude were being run ragged across the Planet, along with a number of other Turks, though all she still knew was that it had something to do with a very powerful materia and the lunatic who had attacked Tseng and taken it from inside the Temple of the Ancients. Avalanche was involved somehow, too, but all of it seemed like a distant concern in another world as she stood staring at her tired reflection in the mirror.

Three rings, then a fourth. Elena began to feel relieved, and after the fifth she was about to hang up when she heard the familiar click of a connection being made at the other end.

Crap…

"Yo!"

Elena swallowed nervously, pacing back and forth inside the restroom and trying not to watch herself in the enormous mirror that made up one entire wall. She looked so small and nervous that it only made her feel worse. "Good afternoon, sir," she said, hoping she sounded calm and mature. It bothered her to have to refer to Reno that way, due to how he'd always treated her and because it felt like an affront to Tseng, but he was their acting leader at the moment and it was the right thing to do while on duty. "Do you have a minute?"

"Yeah, actually. We're just chillin' at an inn right now… I was hoping to hear from you soon. How's the boss?"

Elena grinned, pleased with her timing. Reno was in a good mood, and he had just given her a helpful opening. "He's doing really well physically. He's still in a lot of pain, of course, and can't do anything but lay flat in bed, but the doctor says he's healing nicely and that it'll just take time."

"Is he getting all stir crazy and driving everyone up the wall yet?"

"Wow, how did you know?" Elena asked with a laugh, almost forgetting to be nervous for a moment.

"Cuz I was around a lot when he was in there last time," Reno said, and she could hear him pause to take a long drink of something. Probably a beer knowing him. "He wanted to leave the next day!"

"That doesn't surprise me. He really seems to hate being here," Elena said, pausing and closing her eyes for a moment before continuing. "That's kind of why I called, actually…"

"Eh?"

"Well… he really wants to get out of here and be cared for as an outpatient," Elena began slowly, still pacing back and forth like a tiger in a cage. At that moment, it was exactly how she felt. "The doctor gave him a bunch of conditions to meet, which are all things he thinks he can do fairly easily… but there's one that's going to be a huge problem."

"What, the giant fucking hole in his chest?" Reno asked, his voice rising several octaves. "Is he out of his mind?! It hasn't even been two weeks yet!"

"I know, but they said it's scabbed over completely now! And it's not like he isn't wearing bandaging over it and wrapped up like a mummy," Elena said, rolling her eyes. She was worried about the wound, too, but the need to defend Tseng had been immediate and instinctive. "That isn't the problem."

"All right, then what is?"

"The doctor won't release someone in his condition as an outpatient unless they have someone present with them twenty-four hours a day. They send a nurse around three times a day, but this has to be someone else… basically living in his quarters on the base and looking after him in between."

"Oh, wow. That's a bitch."

"Yeah…"

"He ain't got any family, and spends too much time fucking his desk to find himself a nice girl…"

"RENO!"

He laughed. "It's true! I mean, you know, not literally. But I swear, he's a freaking monk or some shit."

Elena was glad he couldn't see her, because she had turned bright red. It took her a moment to shake certain mental images, some of them not at all unpleasant, from her mind so that she could continue the conversation.

"Anyway. I'm concerned because he's not taking the idea of remaining here for much longer very well, and thinks he would heal much better in privacy. He isn't sleeping well with all the light, noise, and interruptions, and he wants to be able to keep in contact with you and do some other work from bed, but doesn't feel he can do any of that with so many people around to compromise security."

"I'd love to have his help and input when he's up to it, trust me," Reno said with a heavy sigh, suddenly sounding very tired. "I wasn't expecting this and… gods, I don't know how the fuck he does it. He better get out of there soon, because I do not want to get stuck with his job full time. I'm just not ready for this… and I dunno if I'll ever be to tell ya the truth…"

Elena was surprised that he was confiding in her, and despite their often hostile relationship she genuinely felt sorry for him. She could only imagine how she would have felt in his position, even with his years of experience behind her. She was glad to hear that the idea of Tseng being able to aid him was so appealing, however. It was one more thing in their favor.

"Then it would be beneficial to both Tseng and the department for him to be out of the medical center, right?" Elena asked after a brief pause, holding her breath once she had gotten the question out.

"Yeah… as long as it wouldn't kill him or anything stupid like that. But I mean, he won't be out for a long time yet. I might get fucking fired by then, heh. Rufus is already all over me like stink on shit…"

"Well… what if I had a suggestion?"

"I'm listening."

"I have a fair amount of experience in nursing care," Elena said, doing everything in her power to keep her voice strong and even despite the fact that her hands were trembling and her heart was racing in her chest. She was exaggerating a bit, but after taking the additional training she'd received with the Turks into consideration, it wasn't that much of a stretch. "I've also been here with him the entire time, so I'm almost as familiar with his case as the nurses. We've been partners for the last year while I've been in training, so we're used to working closely together, and I told him I was willing to do whatever he needed to help him during his recovery. So… if it will benefit him and help speed up the healing process, and also help you and our department for him to be able to communicate with everyone in private, I would be willing to accept an extended assignment that would meet the doctor's requirements for outpatient care."

"Wait wait, slow down!" Reno exclaimed, and she could almost see him raising a hand in the air as he looked heavenward and tried to digest what she'd just said. "Are you suggesting that I assign you to him round the clock so he can get out of there?"

"Um… more or less, yeah," Elena said, her face growing hot as she fought the nausea that had begun to rise each second since she'd voiced her proposal.

"How long do you think it would take before he didn't need you to stay with him? We've only got so many Turks, and there is a lot of serious shit going down right now…"

"I know, sir… and I really don't know the answer to that. It would be until the doctor downgraded his status. A few weeks maybe, once he meets the requirements to be released? But that's just a guess."

Reno sighed heavily, and Elena closed her eyes, fighting tears of frustration and exhaustion. She was so tired, so sore, her emotions being yanked from one end of the spectrum to the other. All she wanted to do was help Tseng recover, but she already felt like a failure. There was so little she could do as he laid there and suffered, nothing she could do to help her fellow Turks out in the field… Maybe she really was just a stupid rookie who 'didn't know shit' as Reno so often reminded her.

"That's a long time," Reno finally replied, and she almost snapped back with an angry retort before he continued speaking, "but he's our boss, and he's been through hell. I mean, I'd go nuts in there, too, and this department is gonna go right down the shitter without him. Fuck! ….. Hey, hang on a sec, all right?"

"Yeah, sure. Take your time."

Elena heard him set down the PHS, followed by the distant sound of a knock at a nearby door and his voice joined by a much deeper one. He was talking to Rude, she realized, filling him in on the situation and asking his best friend and partner for advice. It instantly made her feel better, as Rude was a far cooler head and had always been much kinder to her. She couldn't hear anything that was being said, but they spoke for a long time, back and forth in animated conversation. Elena began to worry, studying herself in the mirror as she held the device to her ear. There were dark circles beneath her eyes, and she looked as if she'd aged five years since arriving at Junon Harbor. All the worrying and lack of sleep had been taking its toll. Even her hair fell limp and lifeless into her eyes, and she didn't bother to shake it away. She barely recognized herself, and it suddenly occurred to her that she had been forever changed by what she'd experienced.

She was jolted back to reality when Reno picked up his PHS again, breathing loudly into the mouthpiece for a moment before she heard him drop into a chair and sigh with relief. "Elena?"

"Yeah, I'm still here," she said quietly, bracing herself for what was about to come.

"All right, well, I thought it over…" he said, sounding more than a bit hesitant himself. "I definitely have some major concerns about this whole thing. But if this is what Tseng wants to do and thinks it's the best course of action, then-"

"Er, about that…"

Reno paused. "Huh?"

"I haven't exactly told Tseng about this idea yet."

"Wait, what?! Elena, what the fuck are you trying to-"

"No, no, listen!" she quickly interrupted, her pulse pounding at her temples. Oh gods, she hadn't realized Reno would assume her proposed solution had actually come from Tseng, cursing herself for not making it more clear. "It was his idea to get out of here and continue his recovery in his quarters so he'd also be able to help you! When he asked today, the doctor turned him down because he had no one to stay with him, and he just went quiet and accepted it. But he's really unhappy and not handling it well. I wanted to see if you would grant me permission to do this before I mentioned the possibility to him, because I didn't want to get his hopes up. It's depressing enough in here."

"Oh… okay, then," Reno said, slowly digesting the idea of Elena asking his permission to do something that directly involved the actual head of the department before mentioning it to the man himself. "I uh, really appreciate that, heh. Anyway… are you sure you really want to do this, Elena? You don't have to just because you're the one who's stayed with him all this time. I can swap you out with someone else if you need a break. I know it must be-"

"No! That isn't it at all!" she exclaimed a bit too quickly, quickly cursing herself and watching her cheeks turn red in the mirror. "I… want to do this. He's my partner, Reno. I respect him and want to see him get well and return to doing what he loves. I told him I was willing to help however I could, and if he just needs someone to be present in his quarters, I can easily do that for him. Like you said, he doesn't have anyone else."

"You sure that ain't gonna be horribly awkward?"

"No, I'm not sure," Elena said with a nervous laugh. "But we're adults, I'm sure we can handle it."

"Well… all right. Lemme know if he's cool with it. If so, I'll write up your new orders, the good doctor will receive a copy, and as long as Tseng proves he can survive outside of the medical center it should be a go."

"Okay," Elena said, hating the way her voice trembled ever so slightly as her stomach turned in on itself. "I'll go back and see if he's awake so I can make him this amazing one time offer…"

"That's a tough choice there. Stay in the shitty hospital, or be bedridden in his quarters with you twenty-four seven. Fuck that, I'd just kill myself."

"Thanks. I'll talk to you later, Reno."

"Seeya, rookie."

She heard the sharp click of the connection being severed and lowered her PHS from her ear, staring at it for a moment before slowing returning it to her pocket. She released the breath she'd been holding and remained standing in place, the weight of what she'd just done pressing down on her. But as she finally turned and removed the barricade from in front of the restroom door, she knew the most difficult part was still to come.

((* For anyone curious as to where this story now lines up with events in Irony of Fate, at this point in time Aeris and Sephiroth have left the group for unknown reasons and Avalanche is in the process of hunting down the wayward couple.))

((Author's Notes: How is that for a quick update? I'm actually already working on another one, too. I really got my enthusiasm going for this story again, and my handful of loyal reviewers have been highly encouraging. You guys wanted an update and egged me on, so instead of working on Transformations where my audience has been a bit quiet as of late, I did what we all wanted instead ;). I do indeed listen to my readers. Anyway, Dr. Welsh laid down the law, but that's hard to do with someone as powerful and determined as Tseng. He did give up when he heard he'd have to have someone with him around the clock, though, since he knew that was not possible. But Elena was not kidding when she said she'd stay at his side while he recovered. Not sure she's thinking completely with her head on this one, but Reno cares about his mentor and also really does need his help, so it sounded reasonable to him. What is Tseng going to think of this plan? Will he share Reno's opinion? I guess we'll find out next chapter. Thanks again, guys! It's nice to see this little story picking up a bit of a cult following. It just encourages me, so please feel free to let me know what you think! ~ JenesisX ))