CALLIE'S POV

Hey guys sorry for the time lapse in the update. Work has been crazy and two teenagers don't help the cause! Don't forget to review and let me know what you guys think

She kissed me. She just turned her head and kissed me. Why would she do that? I let my guard down, I know I shouldn't have but what could I do? She professed her feelings for me and I got caught up in the moment. How could I be so stupid? Lucky for me she needed to be home early, I couldn't let things get too out of control. The ride to her house was fairly quiet; I think she knew I had a million and one things going through my brain.

She gave me a kiss on the cheek before leaving my car, shaking my head I knew there was something I had to do and it couldn't wait, but first I needed a little liquid courage.

I pulled in my driveway with a squeal, no need to be quiet here, no one is home to care enough what time I came in. I open the door to my father's office and pull out the top drawer. Scotch, I hate the taste of scotch but it will have to do. I unscrew the top with force and take my first swig; the burning can only be described as a lit match pressed against my airways. I take a few more swigs before putting the bottle back; I doubt he will even notice any is missing. Standing to my feet I can feel the alcohol start to weigh on my senses. I was tipsy, just as intended. I knew there was no way I could drive in my state so I decided a midnight stroll was the only way to go. Walking down my street, I couldn't help but notice how quiet it was. Boston is never quiet. If it isn't trains and subways its honking horns and people screaming. I almost forgot where I was. I took the short half a mile walk and stood outside the gate. "Woodlawn cemetery" Why was I so afraid to walk in? It's not like the dead can cause me much harm I say laughing to myself. I find her plot easily even in the darkened night. Her head stone is beautiful, shaped in a heart that reads "our beloved daughter, may she rest in peace"

I take a seat next to her stone and laugh loudly. "Resting in peace, it's probably the only peace she's ever gotten." Her parents never gave a crap about her. That's why she spent so much time at my house, one of the reasons we got so close. I bring my knees to my chest to protect myself from the cold, even the alcohol can't keep me warm. Why is it so much colder in here? I know I need to get everything that's inside of me out. I know this has been driving me crazy for far too long. Who knows if she can even hear me from heaven, it's so damn far away.

"Ah, Julie, it's me Callie, ugh, of course you know it's me. Well, I hope you know it's me. So, you've been gone now just over 2 years. Gone? How do we know you're gone?

I'm sorry I haven't come to visit you; I guess I'm just a coward. No, I'm not a coward, you're a coward. You're a coward for just giving up, you made the decision to leave without even consulting me, you were my friend, you were my girlfriend, I would have done anything for you. I would have taken my own life to save yours. Look at me now, I've been alone ever since, I can't let anyone get too close to me because I'm afraid they're going to leave me just like you did. Why the fuck did you leave me, I needed you,

I haven't stopped needing you. Why couldn't you just talk to me? I would have listened; I would have protected you from them. How did I not notice that you were that depressed? What kind of girlfriend doesn't notice? "

I start to cry uncontrollably into my hands, shaking my head I just can't understand how I didn't notice. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss her. I miss her smile, I miss her laugh, I miss the way she would crinkle her forehead when she would pretend she was mad at me. I miss the softness of her hands; I miss the way her hair blew in the wind. I miss the inner peace I felt when we were together.

While I'm sobbing into my hands, I stop suddenly, I know it's just my imagination but it felt like someone wrapped my hair around my ear. I drank way too much of that scotch.

I take a deep breath in and breathe it out to calm myself down, what is that smell? It's so familiar, it smell's like fetish. I haven't smelt that in forever. That's funny, Julie use to spray her notes to me with fetish. I can't believe how many memories all this is dragging up. I wipe the rest of the tears away and begin to leave when a familiar voice stops me in my tracks.

"It wasn't your fault"

Julie, it's Julie but how? This isn't real, I'm dreaming, I drank way too much, this is a figment of my imagination. Julie's dead, she's gone. This isn't real. I take a few steps back not taking my eyes of her, I have never seen her so beautiful. Her hair is gently blowing in the breeze and she's wearing my favorite tee shirt I gave her. How could this be? The dead don't talk. For every step back I take she takes one forward. I stand frozen in fear, I want to shut my eyes and scream to the god's to make this all go away but I can't, she's here in front of me. "It wasn't your fault" she repeats.

"Your, your not real I stutter out. You're dead, you don't exist."

"Oh, come on Callie, that's not very fair to say, I'm just as real as you, just in a different way, and since you are looking at me, I would assume it's safe to say, I do exist."

"You have to hide, someone will see you, you're not supposed to be here, and you need to hide."

"No one can see me but you, I'm not going to hurt you, don't be afraid of me, and sit next to me so we can talk."

I take a seat down next to her half thinking I've totally lost my mind. If this is a dream I really hope no one wakes me up.

"I don't understand Julie, how can you do this, why now, why not 2 years ago?"

"Ah, I forgot how time was so important to the living. You weren't ready to see me until now; you wouldn't have been able to handle it, I feel like you need me so here I am."

"Why did you do it, was it because of what my mother done, is that what pushed you over the edge?"

She starts to giggle. "No, your mom telling my parents about us really didn't have anything to do with it, I had a lot of depression that no one knew about. I wasn't happy in this world; I kind of always thought I better belonged on the other side. I grew tired; I just wanted to go home. So, we can finish up the questions at a later time, for now I want to hear all about Arizona. You like her?"

"How did you know about Arizona? We met a few weeks ago, how could you possibly know about her?"

" ugh, you're not going to make this process easy for me are you, I'm going to try to break this down to you the best way I can. You, being a human have a body, inside that body is nothing more than energy, energy can never be destroyed, only changed, I'm still me, I just don't have a body. Plus, I have nothing to do with my time but watch. She really likes you, and I mean really likes you, you took her breath away when you two were kissing, which I might add was hot."

"I'm going to try and forget that my girlfriend called my kissing another girl hot. That's really warped you know."

"Callie, I'm not your girlfriend anymore, granted that was my fault I know but It's time for you to move on. I didn't really care for any of your flavor of the weeks but I really like this Arizona girl. I think she will guide you places that you didn't even know you wanted to go. You should let her in, not every girl is going to break your heart the way I did, and it's ok to fall in love again. I want nothing more than for you to be happy."

"Will I ever see you again?"

"I've been next to you every day since I left; I've just been waiting on you. Just call me, and I'll be there for you. You should go home and get some sleep, you have a math quiz in the morning and I know how much you dislike math."

With a kiss on the cheek she faded away. What the fuck just happened?

OK guys I know it was kind of weird and a little left of center. Let me know what you thought though please! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW lol