Things have been extremely awkward between Gale and I since he asked me if I loved him when he was drunk. The worse part is that I feel rotten about it, but he insists it's fine and that he doesn't care that I ran away. This is a lie, as I can still see the hurt in his eye. We hadn't been able to speak much, considering school is almost over and we have yet to receive our exam results. They're not hard at all, quite the opposite actually; the test really only is about coal. Since we've been learning about mining since kindergarten. Still, you can't help but feel anxious about your results. After we get our results, we get a two-week vacation and return to school in August, just after the games. Seems fitting that school ends just when the games start to roll around.
...
The Hunger Games have officially started as of ten seconds ago. Prim and I were walking home from our last exam when the games were being broadcasted in the square. The curiosity got the best of us and we end up staying and watching the beginning, to see if the star-crossed lovers from district twelve will make it past the bloodbath.
The district twelve tributes made a great impact on the Capitol this year. With the "boy on fire" trope, the relatively high training scores (Tommy got eleven out of twelve, which is unheard of) and Primma's love for Tommy that was revealed during the interviews. The last touch I might say was smart. Young love is definitely something that will get them both sponsors that is crucial to survive. Of course, they didn't fool anyone from home. Tommy and Primma barely spoke to each other, being that Primma's father owns the sweetshop and Tommy is the son of the town drunk. Of course, The Capitol and the other districts don't know this.
This years bloodbath is one of the deadliest I've ever seen. The careers are ruthless as ever, and I find myself wincing a couple of times. Primma and Tommy seem to have escaped.
Prim tugs on my skirt, telling me to leave. I nod and we make our way out of the square back home.
"Ouf!" I shriek as I bump into someone. I step back and notice that it's Gale.
"Hey, you ok?" He asks me concerned. I simply shrug, and we stare at each other awkwardly, forgetting Prim is standing beside us.
Prim coughs, letting us know that she's still here. Our cheeks get red in embarrassment, and Gale and I walk away.
"What was that about?" Prim asks.
"What was what about?"
"You and Gale! You could hardly keep your eyes off each other!" She tells me with a funny look. My cheeks get red again, much to Prim's amusement.
"It was nothing, were just friends." I tell her. She's not convinced.
"Oh come on! I saw the way you looked at each other." She says and I laugh.
"Prim, we were looking at each other like friends."
"That's not true, I've seen the way Gale looks at you Katniss," She tells me. "and today, you were looking at him the same way." She continues.
It all sounds ridiculous. You can't determine if someone loves someone by the way they look at someone. How do you even look at someone with love? How has Prim noticed all these things and I haven't? I spend more time with him. After all these years, wouldn't I have noticed his feelings?
Now that I do think about it, it does seem like odd timing. Gale did ask me if I loved him a few nights ago... Though that could mean anything. He's been with many girls, and some of them probably developed feelings for him and he wanted to see if I did too.
I quickly change the subject, hoping Prim doesn't notice. She lets this entire Gale stuff go, but not without a mischievous grin.
...
I arrive at the rock, finding that Gale already beat me. Feeling mortified from our altercation in the square, I turn around and head home.
"Hey Catnip!" Gale yells from the spot. No turning back now. Instead I smile and walk towards him, hoping there's no more awkwardness.
I plop myself beside Gale, trying to avoid his gaze. We sit down for a few minutes, looking at the view the meadow has to offer us. I wonder who will be the first to break the silence?
Gale clears his throat, and I look at him. He sort of just stares at me. Maybe he thinks I will say something? But what is there to say aside from small talk about school or the Hunger Games? We both know what happened that night he got drunk, and neither of us are willing to actually talk.
Eventually I get bored of the awkward silence and get up since it's apparent neither of us is willing to talk.
"Katniss, wait." Gale says. I look back, surprised that he's willing to speak up first. I already know what he's going to say. He'll tell me he was drunk and that he doesn't blame me from not speaking to him that night. It's all stuff I've heard before. What actually bothers me is the sadness in his eyes when he tells me its fine.
I turn around and look at him, without saying a word. So much has happened in the last few days, with us having sex, our fight in the woods and Gale's drunken episode. Only know has it hit the both us that we might not be able to go back to how things used to be. And that's frightening to me.
"We can't keep doing this Gale." I say quietly.
He doesn't reply. Why would he? There's nothing to be said. We both know we won't be able to recover from this. Maybe we'd be fine if it only happened once, and Gale didn't sort of reveal his feelings to me.
I look away and I feel Gale's on face, kissing me. It surprises me at first, but I accept and kiss him back.
As our kisses get more passionate, Gale takes no time to put himself on top of me. I lock my fingers into his dark hair. We break apart, and I quickly go back in for more kisses as he undoes the buttons of my dress, exposing my bra.
We lay down together and I start to feel more and more lustful, wanting every inch of him.
This is short-lived until I am bombarded with images from my dream with Peeta. I start to panic and frantically throw Gale off of me.
"Did I hurt you?" Gale asks me.
"No, no you didn't... I just.-." I'm not sure how to finish my sentence. Do I tell him the truth or lie and say I don't want to? How would Gale react anyway?
"What's wrong?" I look away in embarrassment, but he grabs me and pulls me towards him. "You can trust me, Catnip." He says.
I look into his eyes, and right then I know I can tell him, without fear of him getting angry.
"It's stupid, honestly. I had a...dream similar to this with... someone and it's embarrassing." I say. He looks at me confused.
"Who was it?" He asks me. There's no way I can't tell him, so I may as well just let it all out.
"Uh, it was well, the baker's son. Peeta." I say and I feel my face get hot out of embarrassment. I avoid looking at Gale in the eye, but to my surprise, he starts blurting out laughing, hard.
At first I'm a little perplexed, but soon I join with him and we roll over laughing. We get up to catch our breath and wipe away tears unsuccessfully and we start laughing uncontrollably again. I'm not sure what's funnier, me in the middle of the forest with half of my dress unbuttoned and my bra out, or that our laughs are just contagious.
"It's normal you know." Gale tells me between laughs.
"What do you mean?" I ask him. Our laughter dies down for real now, and we try to catch our breaths.
"Having those kinds of dreams. It doesn't mean anything Catnip, hell I've had worse and even weirder." He tells me.
"What's weirder than dreaming of the baker's son?" I ask. He bites his lip and lets out a chuckle.
"Effie Trinket." He says. And just like that, we burst out laughing.
I attempt to make sex noises in a Capitol accent, which makes everything so much more hilarious. We start mimicking Capitol orgasm's, which if we weren't completely out of our minds, would be disturbing. But we don't care, because it's Gale and I alone, laughing and having fun.
We settle down, still letting out small laughs here and then. I turn to my side to face Gale, who had already done the same. We inch closer together, not caring that our clothes are completely dirty. Our lips crash together, and everything starts going so fast. I can barely keep up but it seems so right. It's crazy, messy and dirty... But it's us. It doesn't make sense but at the same time it feels so right.