AUTHOR'S NOTE: First I MUST plug scriptmanip's "Resting On Your Laurels." If you haven't read it, just do yourself the biggest favor on the planet and get on it. I appreciate you guys' feedback. Remember the "wait for it...?" moment I was telling you guys about? ::points to the last paragraph:: Enjoy, review, spread the word, and the love!
CHAPTER ELEVEN: I Give Up, I Let You Win...
During the time Emily and I had spent in our little private corner of the house, the party downstairs had grown to a full-out rave. A fog machine now blasted dry ice everywhere and combined with the spliffs, we were floating through a pot-filled haze. Spotting Effy half sitting, half lounging on a matted sofa across the room, I took Emily's hand to precariously guide her through the jumping, dancing, screaming crowd. She gave my hand a tiny tug back in reply. "I need some something to drink, I'll be over in a minute," she insisted. Before I could follow her through the moshed bodies, Emily disappeared into the kitchen. Repressing the urge to chase at her heels, I fumbled my way over to Effy. Slumping beside her, Effy produced a half-smoked spliff from the edge of her lap. Taking a singular drag and handing it back to her, I practically bellowed over the nearby speakers, "good to see you haven't renounced all forms of recreation."
"It's Katie's," Effy corrected, using her long fingers curled around the paper to indicate a nearby corner where Katie was juggling giddy conversation between three boys. "Having fun?" Effy asked lightly extinguishing the spliff in an ashtray atop the marked up, cracked coffee table. Finally releasing the inhale of the spliff, I tasted a smooth almost oaky flavor...the immediate sensation of euphoria assured one hit would definitely keep me happy for a solid while. I didn't want to be too far off my tits, but if I had to be at this party, I might as well enjoy myself. Before I could answer, a loud crash from the nearby banister signaled Lana's descent back into the room. There wasn't a girl on her arm this time, just the edge of the railing after she tried to re-find her footing.
"I'm fine! Just fine!" she yelled, kicking a series of cups and bottles out of the way into the crowd, disappearing into the kitchen. It was just then I noticed I could see Emily from my spot, and took note of how, even from a distance, I could see her top ride up just a bit, exposing a hint of-
"Wanna dance?" a tall bloke interrupted, stepping right into my line of sight and robbing me of my lustful gaze. The sudden obstruction knocked my head back a bit, followed by some very slow blinks as I looked up at him. He had moppy hair and a cheshire sized smile. While he seemed nice enough...I was waiting on someone.
"I'm here with someone," I responded. A little pop of his hip only increased his smile.
"So am I," he countered, offering his hand down to me. I picked up an empty beer bottle from the table and placed it in his hand.
"Guess you better fuck off then, yeah?" His smirk quickly faded as he gave me a look I knew people wore too well around me, the type that called me a bitch and a tease, before he did exactly what I told him he should. And not a moment too soon as Emily plopped down beside me. Taking a swig out of the cup she'd just acquired she leaned into me to be heard.
"Apparently Lana has to be the shortest fucking shag of all time."
"Maybe the girl passed out before Lana could unhook her bra," I added. Emily took another drink, eyeing me over the cup.
"How do you two know each other?" she asked once there was nothing obstructing her mouth. My eyes zoned in on the way her lips moved as she asked the question. They weren't doing anything special, but they never had to. I still ended up wrangling my libido's desire to push her against the couch and ravish her with my tongue.
Fuck Effy, how strong is that shit? I know I haven't smoked in a while but Jesus...
"We met last summer," I finally answered after what seemed like several seconds, "she couldn't resist me apparently." I giggled. Apparently the memory of Lana's massive fail at wooing me in the coffee shop masked in my drug haze was downright hilarious.
"So you've slept together..." Emily tossed in casually. While she appeared impassive, the tiniest hint of...something...penetrated the guise of the mask she'd pulled. Finding herself caught under my somewhat amused gaze, Emily's eyes darted away and then back to mine. She released a little small smile, her confidence clearly faltering a bit. If she didn't look so disheartened I would've called her bluff.
"I've never been interested." Emily mumbled something into her cup as a loud cheer from the crowd over the start of a rather popular song brought the room to an earth shaking roar.
Jesus, it's like a madhouse in here!
"What did you say?" Replacing her cup with my hand and standing, Emily began to drag us from the sofa.
"I said I want to dance."
I practically teetered to my feet as we smooshed our way into the crowd. I let myself be tugged through an onslaught of sweaty polos and leather skirts until we found a fairly clear area to begin moving in. At first Emily was merely moving to the beat in my general direction, developing a feel for the music, and I in turn followed her lead. Eventually though, her body slowly backed into mine, left hand draped across her own midsection, her fingers beckoning for my hand. My right hand clasped in her left and I let her languidly trace my fingers along the outline of her stomach as our bodies flushed together. Within seconds my arm covered hers as her hips began to slowly grind against my heated midsection. My breath quickened and my pulse raced once Emily grabbed my wrists to pulling me tightly around her.
It'd been fucking ages since we'd danced like this, and I couldn't help but lean in as Emily's shoulders pressed against my chest. As her head lulled back against my neck, I turned to look as she mumbled, "That wasn't the only dream I had." My eyes narrowed as she slowly twisted around into the full expansion of my arms.
"That so?"
"You were in a plaid tartan dress. Your arms were around my waist, a lot like this..." Reaching behind her she plucked my hands from atop her back and sunk them lower around her slender hips. Closing my eyes, I was fairly certain I whimpered, but it was lost in the pulse of the music. "Did that actually happen Naomi?" The question had been whispered against my neck as I released a slow exhale.
Fuck it...I have to know...
My heart raced as the question came tumbling out of my mouth. "Is that all of the dream, Emily? Was there...was there anything before or after that?" Pulling back from me a bit, her eyelids narrowed and her nose crinkled in a peculiar way. Shaking her head, she licked her lips as the distance between us continued to grow.
"I don't-I-shit," the words tumbled as quickly as her body as it collapsed in my arms. Nearly dropping her, I tried and pull her up, calling her name loudly in her ear. Once her face was level with mine again, I gently lifted her head into view. Her eyes rapidly fluttered open and closed. Like a pile driver, I sped back toward the couch, knocking over anyone who was in my way. Effy had since vacated the spot, but my eyes were only on Emily as I propped her up on the couch. I tried to keep her sitting upright but she was swaying, her limp hands swiping at her head as she tried to steady the way it rocked.
"Emily…Emily!" Another set of hands appeared in my line of sight as Effy knelt beside me, her fingers running over Emily's drained face.
"What happened?"
"We—we were dancing and she collapsed!"
"Emily, can you hear me?" Effy commanded loudly and clearly. Emily slowly nodded her head as Effy placed two fingers against her neck. "Have you taken anything?" Emily shook her head.
"Not even her Vicodin," I offered, "Fuck, is that it, is that what it is?" Effy narrowed her eyes at me as if I'd just called her a rainbow spotted unicorn.
"No. Someone slipped her something. If she's on Vicodin and it's something like liquid X her heart will slow down and she'll eventually pass out." My mouth opened and closed frantically several times.
"Do we call an ambulance? Do we keep her awake? Do we-"
"We find out what she took and then we get her somewhere we can watch her through the night." If I weren't in such a state of panic I would marvel at home frighteningly well the brunette knew her drug stats. Hovering like a mother crane above Emily's fluttering eyes, Effy peered down at her, gently cupping her cheeks. "Emily, I need you to tell me…who gave you that cup earlier?" Emily licked her lips languidly, drawing out the answer to almost torturous proportions.
"Lana," she said so quietly I almost missed it.
Almost.
Charging from where I crouched, I pushed my way through the crowd, ignoring the way Effy was calling out to me. Within seconds, I found the blonde in the nearby kitchen, her glazed over eyes beaming at me.
"Hey, Nao—" before she could finish her sentence, I grappled her up against the counter, my hands clutching her shirt aggressively as my nostrils flared. "Right here in front of everyone, lover? Didn't think of you as an exhibitionist?"
"What did you give Emily?" I growled. Lana's drunk and fumbling hands wrapped around mine as she attempted to sluff me, but my hands grew white at the increase of pressure around the fabric. Shaking her, I forced her to maintain eye contact with me.
"Your girl? Nothing, Naomi, fuck!"
"She said you were the one who gave her the cup, and now she's fucking passing out on the couch! She's recovering from a goddamn coma, so tell me what the royal fuck did you spike her drink with?" Swallowing, Lana removed her hands from mine as her head wobbled to the side.
"I was just trying to help…loosen her up a bit for you…maybe get her a bit more honest…so you two could work shit out and—" My nose was millimeters from her now, and I could smell the cigarette smoke and whiskey on her breath.
"I don't need your fucking help, you fucking slag, now tell me! What?!"
"GHB." Casting her off in a hard, final shove against the counter, I stormed over to the kitchen pantry and grabbed Emily and I's bags before heading back out to the party. When I found my way back to the couch, Katie was now sitting beside Emily, throwing her twin's arm around her shoulders. She eyed me down and for the first time…I saw exactly what Katie had meant back at their place only a few days ago.
Somehow…even though our appearance at the party is entirely at Katie's insistence…this is my fault…
Shaking my head, I followed Katie out the front door as the twin Katie did her best to keep Emily unsteadily upright. Effy trailed behind us once we hit the walk, having momentarily disappearing to grab the rest of the bags. The conclusion to permanently leave the house was unanimously unspoken and when Effy emerged, she nodded to the path adjacent to our right. "It's less than half a mile. Can you carry her that far, Katie? Should we call a taxi?" Grunting a bit, Katie pushed forward ahead of us.
"We're not staying here another fucking second. As long as she can keep walking, I'll be fine." Emily grumbled, and I watched Katie stagger a bit as she turned Emily toward the direction Effy had pointed. Trotting up behind them, I mumbled,
"I'm stronger, maybe I should—"
"She'll tire me out a lot less quickly. We are the same height you know." Katie shot back, not looking over her shoulder just merely focusing dead ahead.
Katie did a pretty good fucking job at keeping Emily upright, mumbling at her every few minutes to stay awake, while Effy and I trudged back in silence. Effy only needed the one, "If you go back to that house I'm coming after you," remark for me to forego jogging back to the party and beating the ever loving shit out of Lana. Eventually it was pretty obvious from the sweat lining Katie's brow it was someone else's turn to take over. Stopping, I handed Emily and I's bags to Effy and practically pried Emily off Katie.
"I said I fucking got it!" Katie barked but once freed of Emily's additional weight, found she was too tired to put up any further resistence.
"I know, Katie," I said genuinely. Emily was at near dead-weight now, struggling to keep her eyes open and groaning half words here and there. At this rate, I knew I'd never be able to drag her the rest of the way, so I tossed her arms over my shoulders, and bending really low, I pulled her legs up around my waist as I hauled her into my back. Sheer force of will got me standing again as I heard her breath hitch, and not in one of those 'I've just been hefted' sort of ways. Closing my eyes, I focused on getting Emily balanced so I could continue to walk, really fucking grateful I had opted for trainers over heels tonight. "How much further Eff?"
"Not far," she answered.
"You can't keep that up," Katie insisted.
"Gonna fucking try."
"Naomi…" Emily whispered just above my ear. My thumbs traced over Emily's calves tenderly.
"Right here, Ems." I gave her one more lift before leaning forward a bit and beginning the walk the last of the way. I knew Emily weighed barely more than a hundred pounds soaking wet, but if it weren't from the fueled rage at Lana and at the situation itself, I probably wouldn't've been able to do this right now. Without anything better to do apart from focus on the knot in my developing knot in my back, I found myself trapped inside my head. I didn't know how these drugs would react to everything already in Emily's system. I wasn't a fucking pharmacology student. I just had to trust Effy's experience. Half glancing over my shoulder, I was met with impassive eyes blue eyes.
If Effy isn't worried, I shouldn't be worried...right?
Effy hadn't been exaggerating when she said her aunt didn't live far. It was a bloody fucking coincidence wasn't it, a lucky streak of the draw we had a solution to this problem not too far out of reach. I didn't know how fortunate or lucky that made us, all I wanted was to lay Emily down before my back snapped, and I dropped her on her presently delicate head. Turning the lock, Effy made her way through the hallway and flipped a switch. With a final grunt, I pulled Emily and myself through the door while Effy's hand guided me to the nearest sofa.
As gingerly as I could manage, I lowered us slowly to the ground so Katie could help me roll Emily onto the sofa. Once she was free from my shoulders, I nearly collapsed forward, bracing myself against the cushions as I fought to catch my breath. From my knelt position, I looked down at her. The cast lighting gave hre face a haunted look, deep shadows casting over her lithe features. It reminded me of how frail she'd been in the hospital, and my stomach suddenly tightened to look at her. Luckily Katie took over almost immediately. Effy had disappeared. I soon heard the sound of water running. Katie pulled Emily's head up, placing a pillow beneath it as Effy entered with two glasses of water, handing one to me and one to Katie so the twin could nurse some down her sister's throat. Slumping down the against the flat contour of the sofa, the one hand that wasn't being used to lightly sip at the water had found Emily's arm and was resting atop her cold skin. "She's cold, is that bad?" My voice quivered with the question, my panic evident as Effy leaned over and quietly examined Emily's face.
"No, it's just from the sweat. Here," Effy wiped Emily's brow as Katie threw an afghan over her lithe little body. It was only then I noticed she was shivering, and without even thinking about it, I was on my aching feet and situated on the sofa. Removing Emily's head out from underneath the pillow, I replaced against my shoulders, tossing the pillow to the other end of the couch then wrapping my arms tightly around her. "I'll go make up the bed," Effy mumbled, disappearing yet again. The house was very quiet and I was left with Katie sitting at the other end of the sofa, staring down at her sister like she'd break any second.
"I couldn't fall apart then," she muttered, her hand desperately clutching Emily's free hand, exposed from underneath the quilt that smelled of mint and honey. "Especially with you filling that role you selfish, sod." The words were cutting but the tone was light. "But every day since then...that's what I've been scared..." The minimal light in the room refracted off of the twins' fingers. Although their personalities were so scathingly different, when they were touching like this it was bizarre...like...Emily was holding her own hand. On some level...I suppose she was...
"Katie?" Emily's voice broke in a breath. Katie did was squeezed Emily's hand tighter. Apart from the whispered need, Emily's body remained still as she continued to breath in and out. I rested my lips atop her head. I was so...tired...
"If I ever see that Lana bitch again I'm knocking her fucking teeth in," Katie responded, whether to Emily's beckon or my move to be tender, it wasn't for certain. Running my hand lightly through tendrils, I stroked Emily's hair and smiled.
"Not going back to the party to do it now then? Because I might."
"Don't you dare," Katie chimed in, but there was a tone in her voice to suggest she hadn't ruled out taking care of the blonde American herself within the hour. "You need to be here when she wakes up."
"Thought you wanted me to stay away from your sister, Katie. Not that you could pry her out of my arms with searing branding irons...but if I know you...you're always up for a challenge."
"Oh please, lezzer, you just demonstrated you're the only one butch enough to heft Emily back home if she can't make it back to the bus stop." Katie smiled then. The first time I had ever seen her genuinely smile at me. It was a bit of a relief to take the drama meter down a notch. Helped me to focus on the bundle in my arms, and the light snore which had finally settled in now we were tucked away from the loud music and night air.
Crossing back into the sitting room, Effy scanned the scene before her, her darkened features offering no hint of expression from the silhouette of the hallway light. "Do you want the couch or the bed?" she whispered.
"Which would be better for her, you think?" I responded.
"Katie and I can get her in bed, you go wash up a little bit, yeah?"
"Branding hot irons or Effy Stonem," Katie mumbled so only I could hear. Effy walked over and lightly draped one of Emily's arms atop her shoulders while I gently lifted her up from her lower back. Katie stood on Emily's other side, keeping her well balanced as she stirred just enough for Katie to whisper, "Walking now, Ems, come on." Like a well oiled machine which had been put to the task on several occasions, the set of brunettes locked their other arms around Emily's tiny waist as Emily stirred best she could to help them out of the room. Once they carried her off, I practically vocally willed myself from my seated position to the corner of the hallway where my bag resided. It easily took two minutes to make the hobbling trek before I was knelt in front of my bag...slowly...I reached to remove...pyjamas. I had packed pyjamas on the off chance I would have to share a bed with someone...ok, with Emily...and...
Biting down hard on my lip, a few tears fell down my cheeks. The last few days, the last few weeks, the last few months...catching up yet again...I could keep them at bay most of the time but...here they were catching me at another fixed point where I was alone and no one was around to see...and...holding Emily while she was so frail...so vulnerable...so...violated...I couldn't help but feel victim to our circumstances yet again.
Everyone thinks it's so difficult for you to be with me...but do they know what you do to me, Emily Fitch...do they even have a clue?
Letting the moment pass as quickly as it had come I feverishly wiped my eyes and stood, heading toward the room around the corner with the light on. Peaking my head in, I asked where I could change, and as Katie delicately began slipping Emily out of her clothes, Effy pointed to the bath just behind me. Closing the door bright white door, my toes scrunched atop the plush green bath rug as I tossed my change of clothes in a corner. Debating for only a moment if I should shower, I instead, opted to strip down to my bra and pants, throwing my hair up in a haphazard ponytail. Once the faucett water was warmed to a decent temperature, I splashed away what little makeup I had put on, the eyeliner ran down my cheeks as I stared at reflection for a few minutes. My eyes were almost hallow and my cheeks somewhere in the last few weeks had acquired an almost gaunt appearance. Lack of sleep? Too many fags? I'm sure the booze hadn't helped...
Jesus, I look like shit...
I slipped into the over-sized shirt and clean pair of pants before I made my way back into the hallway to stuff my old things in my bag. Effy and Katie met me halfway to the bed room. Neither looked tired, Effy much less so, as she said, "We'll be in the kitchen if either of you wake up," leaving it at that. Katie followed with a shrug of her shoulders. I should have asked if we were alone in the house...it certainly appeared that way...or if her aunt was about somewhere...
So you could what? Thank her for her hospitality? In your pig shirt and bright blue pants? Bed is a much better idea...bed...Emilyinthebed...
I never had to be coaxed under duress where those two things could co-exist, as much as I had tried to once upon a time convince myself otherwise. Once the door was shut, I internally struggled for a few moments over whether I should sleep atop the duvet or under it. Eventually I caved into exhaustion, and with a grumbled, "fuck it," I crawled under the quilt, keeping my distance from Emily's warm body. Her breathing was shallow as Effy had said it would be, but it was steady. Her head lulled to the side as a light snore escaped her lips. Rolling onto my side, my fingers played lightly with the hem of the cuff of he sleeve. "I glanced all over your face to see if Katie had managed to cut or scrape you anywhere. Checked your arms, and hands and fingers. I couldn't believe you'd actually nearly beat the shit out of your sister...not that she didn't deserve it...perhaps a bit less than me though. But...you just kissed me. And held me. I said I was sorry for being such a twat and not taking you to the ball. Felt like it even more after I saw you in that dress...painted up to go in with JJ and not me and...it fucking killed me. But there you were, holding me close telling me I was the only person you wanted to be with...telling me...out loud for the first time that you loved me...I'd said it was a shame we didn't even so much as get one dance together. So you changed that. When we got back to my flat, you found my iPod and plugged it in...I remember staring at you just...not really sure what to do or say. Finding the whole thing to be so horribly cliched but loving you more every second that ticked away at how perfect you could make everything." I licked my lips, lightly biting the bottom one, as I closed my eyes slowly, allowing the memory to take over. "You picked a Smith and Mighty song. The beat was slow but still had movement to it. We just stood together...in each others arms...and disappeared as we swayed."
Somewhere around one in the morning, my drowsy eyes opened from a sharp pain in my arm. Glancing down, I saw Emily's head resting atop my shoulder. An attempt to flex my fingers proved they'd gone numb, so she had to've been there for a while. Gingerly, I reached over with my visceral arm, and carefully pulled the dead weight from beneath Emily, doing my best not to wake her. Once it was clear, I scooted toward the sleeping red-head and properly placed her against my chest. I twirled my fingers pinky to thumb to get the blood pumping through them, ignoring the little bursts of pain which resulted from the action because...Emily was smiling in her sleep. And nothing short of the arm being on fire was going to make me disrupt that. Perhaps not even then...
When I woke the next morning and didn't find Emily next to me, I shot straight up in a momentary panic. My eyes darted around the unfamiliar room and took in how vast and barren it actually was. In fact apart from the bed there wasn't anything in it other than a desk and a chair, which itself was vacant. Not even so much as a computer.
Stonems are so fucking strange. Provided this lady is even a Stonem. Provided she's even Effy's fucking aunt.
The smell of coffee came through the crack of the door, and while I was usually not partial to the bitter concoction early in the morning, my back and body were craving water immediately followed by some caffeine. Placing my feet on the creaky hardwood floors, I navigated my way toward the smell, letting it guide me through the strange house. I was met with a wave of relief at seeing a somewhat contented Emily sitting in front of a full scale English breakfast, a peice of toast already in her mouth. "Katie cooked," she mumbled, her mouth already full as she acknowledged my entrance. I could've sworn I saw her glance down at my bare legs, but her focus switched so quickly I could only happily imagine she'd stolen the perv.
"Good because I'm famished," I replied, sitting at the table and serving up the assortment of food. I didn't make breakfast meat a habit, but that spliff had left me ruddy well in. I needed that coffee and I needed this sausage. After I had taked my fair share, the quiet heralded the fact Emily and I were the only two in the corner of the dining.
"Are we ever going to meet the woman who's hospitality we're encroaching upon, or did Effy just steal a random house key? Both of which are suitable explanations." Emily smiled as she sipped her juice.
"Not sure," she said as she placed the glass back down and kept her focus on consuming her breakfast plate. Biting into my potatoes, I waited for Emily to say something about last night so I didn't have to bring it up myself. After a few moments of silence, I realized she wasn't going to say anything so I decided...neither would I. And the rest of the meal was spent with an orchestration of forks to plate and quiet chewing.
Come to find Effy's aunt was closing some sort of deal in Cambridge, and had high hopes of Effy moving to Leeds after the summer concluded. This peice of information splatted amongst the four of us later in the morning as we made our way to the bus stop, which as it turned out, was a considerably further walk than Lana's had been from Miss Stonem's. Yes she was a Stonem. Yes she was a 'Miss.'
"Think you're going to take her up on it?" I asked, pulling my bag a little higher up on my shoulder. Effy and I had trailed behind the Fitch twins nearly the entire time, and the unison snap back of their heads at Effy's revelation caused us both to break out into grins. Emily looked curious...Katie? Disheartened?
"Dunno," was all Effy said in reply as she took a pull off the fag she'd just lit. Katie's eyes lingered behind her, but Emily's attention immediately returned forward, the interest from moments ago completely negated. Emily had remained silent to the point of mute, as if she had retreated back to the shy twin I'd met when we were fourteen, not the strong independent woman who had broken free of Katie's cocoon. I didn't know if she'd woken up in my arms again, and that had been the cause for her disappearance, or like me, her brain had subconsciously sensed a meal being prepared or...something...anything else? I also didn't see her take any pills after breakfast this morning before she had finished and removed herself from the table without so much as a word.
Your signals are giving me whiplash, hun...
As we stood at the stop and waited, Emily leaned against Katie, nudging her elbow a bit to grab her attention. "Sorry about the party." Katie visibly sighed.
"Lana's a bitch, I can't believe you're friends with her, Effy." Effy cast Katie an irritated glare.
"She's a twat with bad fucking timing," she grumbled, mashing the cherry of her fag into a bin.
"No shit," Katie replied. Gratefully the bus pulled up before much else could be said and I was the first to hop on. Effy and I found a conjoined seat toward the back, while Emily chose a seat in the middle against the window. Katie cast her a peculiar look at her choice to separate herself, but with a heavy sigh, eventually slumped into the seat beside her. The bus ride was nothing but awkward, as my eyes found Emily's more than once, despite her continuing to look away every chance she got.
"You hate yourself for Sophia," Effy practically whispered, clearly put out Emily and I were making eyes at each other but neither had moved to do a fucking thing about it, "but you know...Emily wasn't a fucking saint either." My tired eyes blinked back at the very open sapphires seated next to me. "She was hurting, but she also made you miserable. No one deserves that much punishment."
"How do you even begin to know what she and I went through?"
"A spade can call another spade, Naomi, and besides, you'd have to be fucking blind to miss it. But she wasn't entitled to make you feel worthless." Shaking my head, I let out a long sigh and ran my fingers through my hair. Effy went quiet for a few minutes before asking yet another critically weighted question. "Are you in love with her? Or is it just the memories of her?" My eyes roamed Emily's small frame as it continued to stare out the window. I remembered our first day together at college, when she'd looked at me from across the benches, and I'd rolled my eyes at her staring. As much as it had irritated me then...I wanted nothing more than for her to look at me that now. But I knew even if she never did...even if I never really got all of her back...
Reaching into my shirt, I removed her ring which I now wore on a chain across my neck...hidden from her sight...like it seemed I was..."It's Emily," I replied, a calm finality in my tone. "It's always been Emily."
After the painfully long and utterly uncomfortable transit from Leeds to Bristol had ended, the four of us, the only remaining passengers, exited single file, and immediately realized we were ultimately pulled in three different directions. Effy walked off without so much as a goodbye, leaving me with Emily and Katie to try and figure out how to properly end this utter failure of a weekend away.
What a fucking bust.
"Yeah well..." I started.
"See you," Katie finished, grabbing Emily's sleeve, attempting to pull her off in the opposite direction of the street she knew I was going to head.
"Fuck," Emily groaned, immediately tugging her arm from her sister's useless clasp. My tunnel vision was otherwise obscured from anything other than Emily licking her lips the second before being almost forcefully found pressed against mine. My head popped back momentarily in surprise, a quick inhale shooting into the back of my throat, before I willingly relaxed into tender massage my mouth was receiving. I closed my eyes as Emily's hand shot up into my hair, my own finding the cup of her neck delicately. It had always been like this when we kissed. Emily in fervor as if she were certain it was the last time. And me in reverence, assuring her it never would be. After she pulled away, our eyes met and held. "I'm sorting it," she whispered, answering me before I could ask 'what was that for?' Pulling away, she met Katie's side as they walked away, I knew it was the best I was going to get for now.
Once the urge to chase after her and kiss her senseless had evaporated down from blinding desire to aching want, I turned on my own heel and walked the few blocks to my flat. The wind was brisk, and the whizzing by of the cars and motorbikes gave the air a whistle which was almost haunting in it's ambiance. A few blocks from my doorstep, my phone vibrated.
It was nice.
What was? I sent back. A few more paces and a then another vibration.
Waking up next to you. Twice.
Smiling, I slipped my key into the lock and stepping inside, nearly brought my trainer down on the mail. Absently, I reached down and tossed it onto the nearby table without much thought, still lost in Emily's text until I saw a yellow envelope with my name on it. There was no sending or forwarding address, and the letters seemed to have been typed out on an old typewriter. Who even has one of those anymore? Placing my bag down in the hallway, I reached over and opened the letter. The ink looked real which didn't make it a photocopy, and my bugged eyes couldn't do anything other that stare. Despite all the logic in my brain telling me otherwise, I was staring at a torn piece of paper from Sophia's book, only having seen it myself the one attempt she had made at trying to give it to me that rooted me to the spot in a chill of panic. And the only thing I could think to say was, "What the actual fuck?!"