Disclaimer: e7cg13 performs a series of hand seals at blinding speeds before yelling out, "I don't own Naruto no jutsu!" And then the final villain dies in a fiery firestorm of...fire. There is much rejoicing.
Author's Note:Not much to say right now, so anyways, here you go...
Chapter 10: Dealing with a Self-Proclaimed God
Choetsu looked fondly at the girl sleeping across from him. It had been a long day for her, and she deserved every ounce of sleep she could get.
'Damn, Shizuka-chan's going to have some seriously huge knockers in a few years,' mused the blonde-haired time traveler perversely. As if sensing his perverted thoughts, the raven-haired teenager stirred in her sleep and seemed to punch thin air.
The princess had gone practically catatonic when he had resurrected her entire village with Rinne Tensei, and she could barely remain conscious when Choetsu had used a series of Doton and Mokuton jutsus to rebuild the village itself single-handedly. When the transcendent one had introduced himself and explained Shizuka's situation to the villagers, they were at first horrified and looked upon their once destroyer in terror.
But Choetsu informed them that he would be training Shizuka in controlling her new dojutsu and then they calmed down. It helped that he also had told them that Shizuka having full mastery over the Rinnegan would become an immense asset to their military power.
Suddenly, time stopped.
All motion everywhere was halted. Looking around, Uzumaki Choetsu realized that he was the only one not affected. He knew immediately who the cause was.
"So, did you finally succumb to boredom and decide to partake in some fun with me," muttered Choetsu with a smirk, "Eh, Sennin-teme?"
"Not quite," responded a voice from behind him, "I've taken an interest in your little game, but I don't plan to become involved just yet."
Turning around, the Rikudou Hiraishin found himself looking upon a sagely individual with snow white hair that spiked upwards to form two horn-like protrusions. He was dressed in a long, majestic white cloak and wielded a shakujo, or monk staff, in his right hand. He was wearing a necklace of magatama andhis aged face gave the appearance of a loving grandfather. Finally, his eyes were that of the Rinnegan itself.
"So still a spectator, huh," continued Choetsu, "Oh pooh, I was so looking forward to all the excitement you could add to this mess! Oh, and ah! Is that you're physical avatar? It most certainly does you justice, old man, if I do say so myself."
"It was the form I took when I was still a human," explained the Rikudou Sennin matter-of-factly, "before the Tengoku and my ascension that is."
"I can already imagine. By the way, how fares the ol' Inner Realm. Boring as usual, I take it; celestial planes of infinite energy and transcendent knowledge not as exciting as they used to be, eh. But enough of that; why are you here?"
"Like you said, I'm a spectator, but I'd prefer it if you used the term critic. Yes, yes, I am your critic in this story you have woven, Uzumaki."
"Ah, a critic; then that must make me the author. So what do you plan on complaining about; is it the general randomness or my unwanted involvement in the story which has you so off put?"
"Critics don't just complain, Uzumaki."
"Well, old farts like you have a tendency to do just that. But do continue…"
The old sage took his staff and used it to gesture to Shizuka, frozen in time, "Her. What do you plan to do with her?"
"You're virtually omniscient, just like me; shouldn't you already know?"
"You know as well as I do that the direct actions of another True Rikudou are hidden from us; past, present, and future."
"Yeah, that's why I could never beat you in those hyper-dimensional poker games we used to play…"
"Are you going to explain your motives, or not?"
"Not! An author doesn't give away what happens at the end of his story!" rebuked Choetsu.
"That hasn't stopped you from giving "reviewers" from other universes a hint of what's to come. And yes, I know what you've been doing; whenever you're not busy here you've been galvanizing of into other timelines, asking alternate clones of you and me what they think about your little pet project and then giving them previews," said the Sage bitterly.
"And; what's wrong with that?" asked the Flying Thunder God.
"You haven't told me, who is from the very same timeline as you by the way, a single lick of your plans!"
"Oh fine! If you want to be all jealous and butthurt about it then I guess I'll just spill," said Choetsu, "I'm taking Shizuka-chan with me so she can master the Rinnegan."
"You're going to train her?"
"Pshh, no!" scoffed the blonde Rinnegan-user, "I'm taking her to Amegakure."
"Oh, the false Rikudou; how do you plan on enlisting his help? Blackmail, Kotoamatsukami, by force?" inquired the original Rikudou.
"No, through words; not to quote the Godfather, but I'll make him an offer he can't refuse," answered Choetsu with a grin.
"Ah, bribery then; you shall bribe a crippled man who is egotistical enough to call himself God. That will definitely work," snarked the Rikudou Sennin.
"Seriously, the combined sarcasm we generate when we're together is just too much for the Human Realm to handle. You should probably consider leaving before the whole damn dimension collapses from your snarkiness."
"Oh fine, but one more thing," said the originator of ninjutsu, "To what extent are you willing to involve yourself with any of the pieces in your game?"
"What do you mean by that, Sennin-teme?" asked Choetsu.
"What I mean is…well, for example; if a major battle was being fought on this world, and a lot of the characters you've invested in were involved, would you interfere? And if you would, how much of your true power would you actually reveal?"
"Hmm…well, I would interfere, depending on how critical the situation is," answered Choetsu, "But usually not directly, and even if I did I wouldn't show any of my real abilities. Basically, what I've been doing so far; holding back, goofing around, and only using random jutsus that at least somewhat match the situation."
"Ah, I see. Well then, I guess I'll be going now. Have fun with your game, Uzumaki," finished the Rikudou Sennin before he simply vanished without a trace.
"Oh I will, I most certainly will," said Choetsu with a brief chuckle as time unfroze itself, causing all the motion surrounding him to resume their destined courses.
Minato arrived in the foyer of his home's living room with the accompaniment of a familiar flash. The large estate his family lived in was provided for him as the Hokage, and was the largest private residence in Konoha. It included an oasis-like hot spring, multiple private training grounds, a sanctuary for meditation, and even its own miniature rice plantation.
The main house itself was painted in a combination of majestic white and fiery red, and was about the same size as the Hokage Building. It contained over 25 rooms, many of them being living/dining rooms or guest rooms, along with a few extensive storage rooms and multiple kitchens. It even had its own private library.
Truth be told, Minato thought the manor was overly extravagant and would much rather live in a humble family home at the outskirts of town, but the people of Konoha insisted.
Upon arriving at his home of over twelve years, it didn't take long for the blonde father to hear the sound of two individuals wailing in pain and desperate terror resounding throughout the house. It also didn't take long for him to register the screams as belonging to his two children, Naruto and Kurama.
Panicking, the village leader immediately teleported to the part of the manor which he had pinpointed as the source of the screaming. Arriving in a flash, the Yondaime Hokage of Konoha was greeted not by enemy shinobi or vicious man-eating monsters, but by…
"Good God, Kushina! Have some mercy on them!" exclaimed Minato in horror.
Kushina turned around, temporarily shifting her attention away from what she was doing to her husband before saying, "Oh come on, Minato; it's not like its child abuse or anything. And besides, these two haven't gotten a good spanking in a long time."
Minato looked at Kushina, then at his two children in the middle of their mother's horrifically unspeakable "punishment", and then back at Kushina again, who was by the way sporting a highly sadistic grin on her face. Naruto and Kurama were still wailing disturbingly in pain.
"I'm so relieved that I buy you gifts on a regular basis and make sure to never upset you," muttered Minato nervously under his breath.
"What was that, honey?"
"Uh, nothing!"
After relieving the two Namikaze siblings from their punishment, which earned him a tremendous amount of gratitude from them, Minato called a family meeting in one of the dining rooms. After his entire household had relocated to the room in question and gathered around the dining table, Minato began the discussion with a question.
"So, now that we're all here, safe and sound, I want you two to tell me something; what exactly happened tonight?"
"But, daddy, you already know," began Kurama, "Iruka-sensei told you, remember?"
"He only told me what happened from his perspective," said Minato, "I want to know everything that went on last night, with both of you. I haven't even heard one bit of Naruto's story yet; all I know is that he saved the Hyuuga heiress from some Kumo nin."
"Should they start at the beginning, then?" asked Kushina. Her husband nodded in response.
"I'll start it then. But first, I…need to tell my brother something…something important," spoke Kurama hesitantly. After hearing what she had said, Minato had a knowing look on his face which he presented to her reassuringly, while Kushina's eyes widened in shock; the motor-mouth mother knew exactly what Kurama was talking about.
The only one out of the loop was Naruto himself, and that would change pretty soon…
"Naruto, I'm sorry if this comes as a surprise to you, and trust me, I didn't even know until tonight and it still shocked the hell out of me, but, " began Kurama before pausing dramatically, "I'm not your real sister."
Naruto's eyes widened comically, as if he was a deer caught in the headlights of a fast incoming motor vehicle. His jaw was practically *this* close to dropping, and even his eyes were displaying the sheer amount of…astonishment going through the blonde's head at the moment. He was at a loss for words.
"C-could you…repeat that for me, o-one more time?"
"I'm not your real sister, Naruto, and Mom and Dad aren't my real parents," confirmed the red haired vixen, who was glaring solely at the floor with an unreadable expression on her face.
"Does that mean you're adopted then!" yelled Naruto before abruptly standing up.
"N-Not quite; I'm kind of a special case. A very special case," explained Kurama while trying to hide her anxiety, "D-do you remember all the things we learned about the Kyuubi attack on Konoha twelve years ago; around the time we were borne."
"U-Um, yeah, sorta; I mean we learned about it in history," muttered Naruto, trying to make sense of what his sister was telling him, "Doesn't the Nine-Tails go on a big rampage that kills a lot of people before Tou-chan uses some super powerful jutsu to kill him?"
"Not exactly; that's just the official story," replied Kurama, "No matter what he tried, Daddy…wasn't able to kill the Fox that night. Instead, he had to use a different method to stop the beast…"
"W-was it sealing? You sealed the Kyuubi, didn't you Dad! And…and you s-sealed it in…w-wait, no way," stuttered Naruto as the pieces finally came together for him, "I-inside Kurama…when we were borne."
"You almost got it, Naruto, but I didn't…I didn't seal the Kyuubi inside of Kurama…it was actually…no, it's not my place to tell," said Minato, "Kurama, continue please."
"Tou-chan didn't seal the Kyuubi inside me…I am the Kyuubi!"
Once again, Naruto was speechless.
"I don't…know exactly what you're feeling right now, Nii-san. But I hope, more then anything, that you can still consider me your sister. But if you don't, well, it's fine. I completely underst-…"
"I don't care!" interrupted Naruto, who had just given his redheaded sister a heartwarming embrace, "I'm your brother, for Kami's sake, and you're my sister, whether by blood or not. I told you before, remember; you can always count on me to be there for you."
Hearing Naruto's declaration struck a chord in his sister's heart, causing the girl to tear up before she returned Naruto's hug with equal, if not greater vigor.
Minato looked upon the heartwarming sight with fondness before he noticed that there was something wet on his right shoulder…
"That's just soooooo…cute!"
"Kushina! Are you crying?" asked Minato, perplexed. His wife's head was buried in the gap between his neck and shoulder blades, leaking tears from her eyes like a waterfall.
"N-n-n-no, I…I ju-just got something in m-my eye," denied the fiery woman. Minato simply smiled at his wife's antics before rubbing the top of Kushina's head lovingly with his right hand.
"Long time, no see, Nagato-chan…"
The crippled Rinnegan-user's blessed eyes widened in complete shock as he register the new, unexpected presence in his hidden sanctuary. Who ever it was, the self-proclaimed god hadn't even sensed them coming. Acting quickly, Nagato gave an alert for his Deva Path and Konan to return to his side, and began preparing the defense mechanisms of his large mechanical chair.
"Who's there? And how did you infiltrate my private quarters?" questioned Nagato.
"Magic, alien technology, or super ninja-skills; pick your poison. And as for who I am," spoke the voice ominously before it's source, a man who's features were hidden by a majestic white, hooded cloak, emerged from the shadows, "Well, let's just say, I'm an old friend of yours. Remember me?"
A looked of startled recognition manifested on the Ame leader's face as he caught a glimpse of the cloaked man's eyes and recalled a certain incident that took place twelve years ago, "Y-You're that man; the Ri-Rikudou Hiraishin! You're the one who defeated Tobi!"
"Guilty as charged," said the Rikudou Hiraishin before he removed his hood, revealing his face to the other Rinnegan user, "Though frankly; I expected a much more difficult challenge from the same fucker who likes to cosplay as Uchiha Madara for a living."
"You…you look like the…"
"Yondaime Hokage; yeah, I get that a lot. It comes with the territory of being his twin brother after all."
'So he's Namikaze Minato's brother; interesting. That explains the nickname and his skill, but why have I not heard of such a man until twelve years ago, and what has he been doing since then,' mused Nagato inwardly.
"Have you come to kill me?" inquired the false Rikudou outwardly.
"Heavens, no! What a waste that would be; you just have so much potential in you, Nagato-chan," replied the Rikudou Hiraishin, who feigned being offended, "If I wanted to kill you, you'd have been dead a looooong time ago. And I would have leveled this lovely city of yours as part of the package."
"Then why are you here?"
"What? I can't say hello to an old friend? I'm hurt that you think that way, Nagato-chan."
"I'm not your friend!" bellowed the man behind Pain, "Now tell me what you're purpose here is, or else I will show you true pain!"
"Come on now, Mr. Makes Anorexic Supermodels Seem Obese, we've been over this before…you're so called "pain" doesn't really do anything but get me off. Selective masochism, remember?"
Nagato's only response was to scream in utter rage before he fired a chakra disruption rod from the mechanical apparatus he was plugged in to. The rod was larger than usual, about the size of a human forearm, with a sharp, chakra-lined edge that could cut through diamond. The chakra rod was shot at almost the speed of a rifle bullet, giving it immense force and momentum.
The lethal projectile took all of a millisecond to pierce the Rikudou Hiraishin's heart, as the blonde-haired enigma didn't even bother evading or deflecting the chakra rod.
"Tell me, Rikudou Hiraishin…was that painful?" asked Nagato smugly.
The time traveler with a humongous chakra rod imbedded in his chest simply shrugged before casually ripping the rod out of his heart with his bare hands, "Nope, not really. Unless you consider a slight tickling sensation as being painful, that is."
Nagato twitched in disbelief, "W-what the hell are you?"
"What am I, you say? I am a man who has quite the proposition for you? Care to hear it?"
"You want to make a deal with me?" asked Nagato warily, "Even after breaking into my private quarters, you're telling me that you want to make a deal with me?"
"Uh huh…"
"Do you honestly think I would even consider it after what you've done?"
"…yeah."
The paraplegic dojutsu-wielder rolled his eyes at the intruder; just communicating with the eccentric man was a chore in of itself. He was beginning to wonder what was taking Konan and Deva so long….
"If you're curious as to why those two haven't arrived yet," said the Rikudou Hiraishin, having read Nagato's mind with his Human Path ability, "It's because I completely halted the flow of the entire timestream, only leaving this room untouched. If you don't believe me, confirm it for yourself. Why don't you try checking up on your link to the Deva Path?"
Nagato gasped in shock while muttering something about being impossible and ridiculous, before he concentrated for a moment, which eventually led to him gasping in shock again when he confirmed the Rikudou Hiraishin's statement with his own eyes.
Noticing the dumbfounded expression on his fellow Rinnegan user's face, the Rikudou Hiraishin commented immediately, "Shocking isn't it; how something as ubiquitous and completely fundamental to existence as time itself can be stopped so easily by a man with nothing but special eyes and powerful chakra."
"Are you…a god?" questioned Nagato in complete astonishment.
"Am I…no, I'm not a god," replied the Rikudou Hiraishin, "I'm something even more. And like I said earlier, I have a proposition to make with you."
"Hmm, I'm listening now…not like I have much of a choice."
"So let me get this straight," began Naruto, "I was really borne an only child, but on the day of my birth the Kyuubi attacks. Then after driving it out of the village, Dad tries to seal it inside me with a forbidden jutsu that will cost him his life. But, at the last minute, Uncle Choetsu shows up and transforms the Kyuubi into a baby girl, who eventually grows up to be Kurama."
"In a nutshell, basically," replied Minato, while Kushina nodded in the background.
"Ooooookaaaay…what the hell have I've been eating lately…"
"This isn't a hallucination, Naruto," spoke Kurama, "All of that really happened."
"I know…s-sorry…it's just so much t-to take in."
Kurama shuffled nervously in her seat; despite the fact that Naruto accepted her new status, she was still worried about her relationship with her brother and where it would go from now on. However, looking at the determined look on her brother's face gave her hope that he would keep their promise.
"Well then, now that Kurama's confession is over," said their father, "I think its time that you two begin your story."
The two siblings nodded and began their tale. Kurama started with the events taking place earlier in the day, at the academy. She talked about the graduation exam and how she wasn't feeling well, and then ended it with her failure to create a bunshin along with the strange visions she had before passing it along to Naruto.
Naruto continued the story, telling them how he had snuck into the Hokage Building and knocked the Sandaime out with his Oiroke no Jutsu, which elicited a muffled laugh from Minato and chilling expressions of barely repressed fury and killing intent from the two female Namikazes. Finally, he ended his part with the exchange of the Forbidden Scroll between Kurama and him.
Kurama then went on to explain her learning of the Shadow Clone Technique, as well as her encounter with Iruka and Mizuki, and the circumstances that led to her finding out her secret. After that, Naruto gave a vivid recounting of his pursuit of Hinata, who had been kidnapped by Cloud shinobi, as well as his battle with Ruido the former Konoha turned Kumo nin. Minato seemed visibly impressed with Naruto's skills during the confrontation.
And lastly, Kurama ended the story with her run in with the strange, purple skinned man and her subsequent rescue thanks to her father.
"Wow, what a…what a night," whispered Kushina in awe after the tale was over.
"I'll say…you two haven't even become chunin yet and you've already gone through such an ordeal," added Minato, "And you Naruto…you defeated a jonin, for Kami's sake! I believed in you son, I really did, but I didn't think you were hiding this much power!"
"T-thanks, Tou-chan," replied Naruto, bashful from his father's praise, "I…I w-was…"
"Why were you hiding your skill, by the way? I'm curious," asked Kushina.
Naruto's eyes widened; he was expecting this question to be asked of him after what happened tonight. But he just couldn't think of a decent excuse. His cover would be blown no matter what.
"Its realy personal…d-do you think…do you think I could maybe, not…"
"You don't have to tell us tonight, Naruto," interrupted Minato, "We know you're tired; we all are. I think its time to call it a night."
"Yeah, it's almost two o'clock! And you both have a big day tomorrow," said Kushina, "Go and brush your teeth so you two can go to bed and finally get some rest after such a stressful evening."
"Yes, Mom!" chorused the two twins, both eager to finally get some snooze. Before they could leave however, Minato stopped them.
"Oh, before you go Naruto…I just want to let you know that…if it had been me instead of Sarutobi-sama guarding the scroll, your plan would have never worked," said the Yondaime with a playful smirk. The blonde-haired boy gave a wide grin in response, rising to his father's challenge.
"Oh, are you saying that my ultimate jutsu would have no effect on you?"
"Of course not!" replied Minato, "When I have someone as beautiful as your mother for a wife, there's no way that a cheap trick like that could possibly seduce me. I'm no Jiraiya-sensei."
Meanwhile, Kushina was swooning at Minato's compliment to her. "Oh, Minato, you're such a charmer," she said while her daughter simply looked on with utter disgust in the background.
"Oh yeah!" exclaimed Naruto, "Let's see if you can back that up, old man! Oiroke no Jutsu!"
The blonde prankster formed a sequence of hand seals before a cloud of smoke enveloped him. The smoke dispersed quickly, revealing a naked and buxom blonde woman with pigtails and whisker marks on her cheeks in Naruto's place. The naked vixen blew a kiss at Minato, attempting to catch him off guard with her charm.
Minato blushed a deep shade of red, but there was no blood gushing out of his nose, to Naruto's absolute frustration. Meanwhile, a vicious killing intent was starting to rise in the room, coming from a certain red-haired vixen.
With a poof of smoke, Naruto was back to normal with a pouting expression, "It really didn't work! Don't tell me you're gay, Dad!"
"He's not gay!" shrieked Kurama in rage, "He's just not a pervert like you!"
The angry female cocked her fist before smashing him hard with a chakra-enhanced punch, sending him crashing into the nearest wall. After colliding with the hapless wall, Naruto's body plopped helplessly to the floor, where the blonde boy laid in pain for a few moments.
"Good job, Kurama! That'll teach him!" exclaimed Kushina while clenching her fist and giving her daughter a shit-eating grin, "Honestly, how many times do I have to tell him; no perverted jutsus in the house!"
Naruto simply raised his arm weakly before saying, "In my defense, Tou-chan practically gave me an invitation to use my sexy jutsu."
"He's got a point," Minato said while chuckling, "And now we all know that even with your so-called "ultimate technique", you still wouldn't have been able to get past me."
"Hah! In your dreams! I still have one more trump card up my sleeves!" countered Naruto vigorously.
"Is that so?" taunted Minato playfully.
"Yup; I know your ultimate weakness, Dad!"
Minato's eyes widened nervously, 'Don't tell me he's talking about…"
"The ramen we had yesterday night for dinner," began Naruto, "Doesn't it remind you of a certain…noodle incident?"
If Minato's eyes were wide before, now they were practically bulging out. The blonde haired man immediately froze up at the sound of the words "noodle incident" and started shaking uncontrollably. Then, all of sudden, the legendary Kiiroi Senko and Yondaime Hokage of Konohagakure no Sato, Namikaze Minato collapsed unceremoniously on to the ground.
The grown man was now sprawled out onto the floor in a fetal position while going through a series of violent spasms and convulsions as he began muttering in sheer terror; like if he was experiencing a mind raping nightmare or being possessed by a sadistic demon.
Kushina and Kurama both watched the scene with their jaws wide opened, unable to comprehend the sheer ridiculousness of it all. Naruto, on the other hand, was trying his hardest to refrain from bursting out into maniacal laughter.
"D-did you just…turn the most powerful Hokage in village history into a sniveling wreck with just two words?" asked Kurama after finally regaining her voice, "What in the world is the "noodle incident" by the way?"
"Well, you see…this one time at Ichiraku's…"
"Actually, I'm probably better off not knowing," said Kurama, cutting him off.
"Ramen is my friend. Ramen is my friend. Ramen is my friend. Oh yes he is," babbled Minato insanely while suckling on his thumb, "W-wait, what are you…ramen? Ramen? What the hell are you doing? Stop! Please, stop it! THAT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO GO IN THERE!"
"…so then you insert your male genitalia into her female genitalia and start thrusting, preferably getting faster and harder as she gets more comfortable with it until both of you org…"
"WILL YOU JUST SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY, YOU SICK-MINDED BASTARD!" screamed a very much out of character Nagato. "I thought you were going to discuss your proposition, not give me a highly unnecessary lesson on human sexual intercourse!"
The Rikudou Hiraishin stared at him funnily, having just been interrupted in the middle of a speech.
"Oh, I'm sorry; I was just trying to help you sort out your issues as a show of good faith before we started talking about the deal," muttered the Yondaime look-alike with a hurt tone, "Geez, nobody ever appreciates it when I try to help out, and then they act all surprised when I screw them over for payback!"
"My…my issues; what the hell are you talking about?"
"Well, I figured that the only possible explanation for why you haven't tapped that lovely piece of ass you call Konan yet is that you never got sex ed in the first place," explained the Rikudou Hiraishin nonchalantly, "So I decided to give you a few pointers."
"W-what…that's ridiculous. I can't…I mean look at me," said the emaciated cripple.
"Oh don't give me that bullshit about being a cripple!" rebuked the blonde Rinnegan-user, "You have like six other goddamned bodies to choose from! By the way, your Deva Path is actually pretty attractive for a mind-controlled corpse, and that's coming from a completely heterosexual male."
"Are you mad? Why in the world would Konan allow six reanimated dead bodies do something like…that with her; even if they were being controlled by me?"
"I never said all six at the same time!" exclaimed the Rikudou Hiraishin, who was trying to hold back his laughter, "Damn your kinky, Nagato-chan."
Nagato promptly spluttered all over himself in disbelief, completely speechless and unable to respond. This eccentric man…was going to be a major handful.
"Well if you don't want my advice, you ungrateful codpiece, then we might as well get to the main course," grumbled the Rikudou Hiraishin, "I'm just going to assume that you felt the power of another Rinnegan awaken earlier today, am I right?"
Nagato nodded, "So that was a new Rinnegan user; I had a feeling. But what does it have to do with me?"
"I want you to train her."
Nagato's eyes widened in surprise, "What!"
"You heard me; you're crippled, Nagato, not deaf. The new Rinnegan user's name is Shizuka, and she is the princess of Nadeshiko, a minor, female-only ninja village near Mizu no Kuni, the Land of Water. I'm going to take her here with the permission of her fellow villagers, not that I need it, and then you're going to teach her how to master her new dojutsu," explained the blonde-haired enigma.
"Why don't you do it yourself; you're obviously a more skilled user of the Samsara eyes than me," argued the Ame leader.
"I'm awfully busy and I don't have the time to deal with this," lied the Rikudou Hiraishin, "And I feel like you would benefit her more as a sensei than I would."
"Fine; let's say that all of that is true," said Nagato, "What exactly is in it for me? How do I benefit from helping you?"
"Well, there's the joy of teaching a fellow human being. And plus, Shizuka's going to grow up to have some ridiculously succulent and amazing mammary organs one day, in the same league as the legendary Tsunade herself! I'm sure even someone with as little libido as yourself can at least appreciate something like that."
"No, give me a serious answer."
"Sigh, I don't do serious," replied the Rikudou Hiraishin, "But if you insist; I'm willing to offer you a little incentive if you decide to be Shizuka's mentor. It's what you've always wanted but have never been able to get."
"Peace?" said Nagato hopefully.
"Uh, no…that comes later," replied the blonde-haired man sheepishly, "I'm talking something more short termed, like right the fuck now!"
"What exactly do you have in mind?" asked Nagato while narrowing his eyes in a mixture of suspicious and curiosity.
"Total recovery of the use of your legs…and a little something-something for that emaciated body of yours; how does that sound?"
Nagato gaped in incredulity, "That sounds preposterous! The condition my body is in right now is because of the curse of the Gedou Mazo. Even with a Rinnegan, you can't just heal something like this."
"Oh, but your forgetting one key fact, Nagato-chan," said the eccentric blonde while stretching out his arms in a dramatic fashion. Nagato, in response, merely gives him a look of confusion, curiously awaiting his answer.
"I'm the Rikudou Hiraishin, baby!" declared the aforementioned Flying Thunder God as if just saying that allowed him to do the impossible. In his case, it probably did.
Naruto stared at the ceiling of his bedroom in frustration due to his inability to fall asleep despite the fact that it was already very late and that he had an important day coming up in the morning.
But he just couldn't help it; his mind was racing after everything that happened tonight. No matter how tired his body was, he just couldn't take that extra step into blissful unconsciousness. And the thing that addled his brain the most…was his own sister Kurama.
I mean, it isn't every day you learn that your twin sister who you have known and lived with your entire life is actually the reincarnation of a colossal, demonic furball that just so happened to have attacked your village when you had been borne.
Of course, that didn't change the way he thought of her; like he promised, Naruto would continue to always be there for her, through thick and thin. Kami knows that if the Kyuubi had been sealed within him rather than become transformed into a baby girl, Naruto would absolutely not want another person to shun him for it. He couldn't even begin to imagine what it would be like to live that way.
Suddenly, the door to his bedroom opened slowly with a drawn-out squeaking noise, revealing the form of the very object of his pondering. The red-haired, whisker faced vixen gently closed the door behind her before whispering, "Nii-san, are you awake?"
Naruto arose to an upright position in his bed while gazing at his sister's silhouette, "Yup, I'm awake. I actually can't sleep right now; there's just way to much stuff going on in my head."
"Same here," replied Kurama with a sigh, "That's why I came to your room. Do you…do you think I could…?"
"Yeah, of course!" said Naruto with a little too much volume, answering Kurama's unspoken question. The blonde-haired boy promptly lifted up the comforter on his mattress, making room and inviting his sister to join him in his bed.
The redhead did so, jumping onto his medium-sized bed and snuggling up to her brother warmly. Naruto blushed slightly; the two siblings had not slept in the same bed together for quite awhile.
"Thank you, Naruto-nii. I was having…nightmares," whispered Kurama while she pressed up against him, "I don't know how I would ever be able to get any sleep alone."
"Uh, what about Mom and Dad; didn't you try asking if you could sleep with them?"
"Are you kidding me; after what you did to Daddy," scoffed Kurama, "I checked their room and Mom's still trying to get him to calm down. Plus, even in a normal situation I wouldn't want to sleep in their room; you know what they get up to at night when they think we can't hear them."
"Of course I know. My room is even closer to theirs than yours," said Naruto with a shudder.
Noticing her brother's discomfort, Kurama quickly changed the subject, "So, how does it feel…we're going to be shinobi tomorrow; adults in the eyes of the village."
"Well, I can't really…describe how I feel right now. I mean, I honestly don't have a clue what's in store for us tomorrow," said Naruto while grinning brightly in the dark, "But I do know one thing for sure; the Namikaze twins are going to take the ninja world by storm, dattebayo!"
"Hmm, yeah, but we need to sleep first," replied Kurama cheerfully while wrapping her arms lovingly around her blonde-haired sibling, "I'm not taking anything by storm until I get my beauty sleep, so good night!"
"Good night to you too, sis…"
But the red-haired vixen had already dozed off; the most interesting day and night in her entire life so far was now over. Smiling softly, Naruto shut his eyes and thought about…absolutely nothing, simply allowing his mind to blank before the darkness finally took him.
Hyuuga Hinata stared at the ceiling of her bedroom in frustration due to her inability to fall asleep despite the fact that it was already very late and that she had an important day coming up in the morning.
But she couldn't stop thinking about a certain someone…who frankly had been the subject of many of her thoughts, some more inappropriate than others, for quite a long time. But now, after what had happened tonight, that certain someone was completely dominating every aspect of her mind, preventing her from truly dozing off.
The boy of her dreams, Namikaze Naruto, had just rescued her from a group of Kumo nin who had kidnapped her, taking out a jonin…a jonin for Kami's sake! And he wasn't even a full-fledged ninja until today.
Naruto had been the dead last of their class, but Hinata, being the stalke-uh, observer that she was, knew that there was more to him than there first appeared to be. She knew he was strong, and it was always a mystery to her about why he would hide his skill level like that and take verbal abuse from his peers so readily.
But although she knew Naruto was secretly very strong…nothing she could ever imagine could even compare to the reality of the situation. The way he had fought the Kumo jonin who had kidnapped her; she was hard-pressed to believe that Sasuke or even Iruka-sensei would have been able to keep up.
Then there was that last exchange between the two; Hinata had been tumbling through the air, about to be skewered by the jonin's kunai when there was a yellow flash. The next thing she knew, she was safe in Naruto's arms and then her kidnapper was dead. It was unbelievable.
But nothing…nothing could possibly be engraved into her mind as thoroughly and memorably as those words that Naruto had uttered to her after the rescue; "Has anyone ever told you how pretty you are?" he said. He called her pretty! It took all the willpower she could possibly muster to not faint at that point.
Damn it; if only that uncle of Naruto's hadn't interrupted the moment so abruptly!
"Nagato, I got your alert! What hap…penned…to…you," exclaimed Konan while barging into her childhood friend's private quarters before completely losing her train of though due to the scene in front of her.
There were two things that were exceptionally…strange about the picture that greeted the blue-haired paper user when she first entered the room.
The first was that Nagato, her emaciated and paraplegic but extremely powerful companion, was no longer attached at the hip (literally) to the mechanical apparatus acting as his life support and was instead standing upright, without a single facial bone visibly exposed.
The second was that there was a strange looking, yet familiar figure in the room dressed in a white hooded cloak with the hood down revealing his resemblance to the Yondaime Hokage of Konoha. After catching a glimpse of the man's unusual eyes, Konan had a gasp of recognition.
"Y-You…you're t-the…the…"
"Rikudou Hiraishin at your service, darling; and by service I mean copulation! 'Cuz obviously Mr. God Complex over there isn't gonna get to the fucking anytime soon and I would hate to waste such a marvelous body like yours," said the white cloaked man with a goofy wide smile on his face as he eyed the blue-haired angel lecherously.
If looks could kill, (then again, with the Uchiha you can never know), then the combined glares being directed at the perverted blonde by both Konan and Nagato would have given Banbutsu Hakai a run for its money in terms of destructive capability.
"Ignore the fool, Konan, he just has an obsession with annoying other individuals to the point of insanity," said Nagato.
"But why is here?" asked Konan curiously, "And why…why are you walking, Nagato?"
Nagato blinked at her a few times before replying, "It's all…part of a deal we made, together."
"A deal?"
"Yup, yup, yup, a deal," said the Rikudou Hiraishin, "I made a little proposition for Nagato-chan and he accepted. And I didn't even have to blackmail or threaten him; I feel so accomplished. I mean look at me, the great Rikudou Hiraishin, master of persuasion!"
"W-What does this…deal entail?" asked Konan, ignoring the eccentric Rikudou's off-topic digressions.
"The deal was that, in exchange for the recovery of the use of my legs as well as the rejuvenation of my body," explained Nagato, "I would have to teach a new Rinnegan user how to master her dojutsu."
Konan gave a look of shock at his words before replying, "A new Rinnegan user? So you were right about earlier! And she's a woman?"
"A twelve year old girl actually, "clarified the Rikudou Hiraishin, "but in a few years she's gonna have even bigger tatas than you, although I can't really tell underneath that ominous cloak of yo-…"
Konan abruptly interrupted the blonde Rinnegan-user mid-sentence with a swift toss of her paper shuriken, pinning him to a wall. The origami artist flickered forward before reappearing directly in front of the source of her annoyance. Then she took out a kunai and held it to the Rikudou Hiraishin's neck dangerously.
"Rikudou Hiraishin or not, I don't take well to lecherous comments about me, especially not in front of Nagato," whispered Konan threateningly. The Yondaime look-alike simply returned her gaze with a goofy grin still intact on his face, not even phased at all by the woman's threats.
"Damn your kinky, girl, pinning me to the wall like this. You and Nagato-chan are pretty much made for each other," said the Rikudou Hiraishin, "And I would definitely love to get my freak on with you right now, but unfortunately, I would have had a hard time performing with Nagato watching us all creepy-like in the background. So, I'll just have to pass. I wouldn't want you to think me…inadequate, after all."
Konan simply gaped; she was at a loss for words. The peculiar individual's comment caught her off-guard; she was used to people cowering in fear when she threatened them, not talking back to her in a perverted manner. What happened next, however, completely unhinged her.
The Rikudou Hiraishin's Rinnegan eyes suddenly shifted, becoming twin irises of ominous crimson light containing ten black tomoe. Then he walked forward casually and…phased, for lack of a better term, through not only the paper shuriken pinning him but through her as well, causing her to shiver when the man walked straight through her like a ghost.
Turning around, Konan caught a glimpse of his eyes again, and found that they were once again his sapphire Rinnegan.
"T-that was one of T-Tobi's jikukan ninjutsus," stammered Nagato in astonishment, having likewise witnessed the entire scene.
"Yes; it's real name is Kamui actually, specifically the right-eyed version, which is also called Jikukan Ido to distinguish it from the left-eyed version," explained the Rikudou Hiraishin, "Kamui is one of the ten sets of abilities that can be granted by the Mangekyo Sharingan, although most Mangekyo-user can only obtain one of these sets at a time."
"There are…ten Mangekyo techniques?" questioned Nagato curiously.
"Yeah, one for each tail of the Juubi; you do know that the Sharingan came from the Ten Tails, don't you?"
"I thought they were descended from the Rinnegan of the original Rikudou Sennin."
"Well, that too, but somewhere in the ages the Juubi's corrupt will and chakra got mixed in, which is why the Sharingan is so evil-looking," said the blonde, "But enough of that; let's put the finishing touches on this deal of ours already. As much as I would like to stay and chat, I have much better things to do."
"I assume that you will be bringing this…Shizuka here?" asked Nagato.
"Yes, of course. But before I do that, I would like to add something."
"What is it?"
"How would you like it," began the True Rikudou, "If I returned your body to its prime."
Nagato's eyes widened, "W-What do…what do you mean?"
"I mean just what I say; even though I gave you back your legs and made it so you don't look like a twig anymore, your body is still weakened from being stuck in an over-glorified wheelchair for over twelve years. When I'm done with you, you'll be as strong and as powerful as you could ever be; with your full potential unlocked!"
"C-can you really do that?" inquired Konan in doubt.
The Rikudou Hiraishin just looked at her like she was crazy, "Uh, hello, do you know who you're talking to? I'm the Rik-…"
"Yes, we know you're the Rikudou Hiraishin!" exclaimed Nagato, cutting him off, "And we know that that somehow means you can do the impossible. So please just stop saying it over and over again!"
"Uh sure, whatever killjoy," grumbled the blonde, "So are you interested or not?"
"If you return me to my prime," said Nagato, "What's the catch? I'm sure you're not just going to rejuvenate me for free."
"You catch on quick," said the Rikudou Hiraishin with a smirk, "In exchange for this last service, I want you to ally yourselves and your village with the Hidden Leaf."
"K-Konoha, but t-that village," said Nagato, utterly surprised, "Do you have any idea what that village has done to me!"
"Yeah, yeah, I know all about your parents and that Yahiko dude. But trust me when I say that all of your troubles were a result of the actions of just one man from Konoha: Shimura Danzo. And he's the last person that anyone would look to as a model for Konoha's morals and values."
"Even so; I can't just become friendly with that village and pretend nothing ever happened!"
"Sure you can! And let me remind you; I'm still working on our previous agreement from twelve years ago. I still plan on brining you the peace you truly desire, this is just one phase of it; if you choose to reject me, than you're only denying yourself and your own happiness."
Nagato stared at him with a look of hesitation, "I…let me think about it, please."
"Of course, of course; ponder all you want. But choose wisely. Or do you really want to become an old man, filled with regret, waiting to die alone?" replied the Rikudou Hiraishin in a strange accent, "Oh damn, I'm really rocking this Ken Watanabe shit; next thing you know I'll be buying out entire airlines just 'cuz it would be neat!"
Nagato and Konan looked at him like he was crazy, which in retrospect was probably true.
"Um, kindly ignore that last part," said the blonde sheepishly, "I'm gonna go fetch Shizuka-chan now. And by the way; the name's Uzumaki Choetsu, just in case you were wondering."
Shizuka woke up to the feel of a hand lightly shaking her to consciousness. Groggily, the raven-haired princess rubbed the sleep from her eyes before sitting up, when suddenly the events of the previous night hit her hard.
Her lover Sagiri had died right in front of her very eyes, triggering the awakening of a powerful ability within her. In her rage, this new power went out of control and obliterated her beloved village, causing the girl more grief before a strange man who looked like Yondaime Hokage showed up and began comforting her.
Then, he did the impossible, resurrecting all of the villagers she had killed unintentionally before rebuilding the entire village from scratch with his ninjutsu. It had been a lot to take for the girl, and her nerves were completely shot to hell. When the ordeals of that day were over and Shizuka was finally able to go to sleep, her mind immediately departed from the land of the waking before her head had even made contact with the pillows.
"Good morning, Shizuka-chan," said a cheerful voice right next to her, "And welcome to the beginning of the rest of your life!"
Turning towards the sound, Shizuka discovered it to be the blonde man from yesterday who called himself the Rikudou Hiraishin. But later on she was able to learn his real name, which was…
"Ah, C-Choetsu-san, good morning," said the still-half asleep princess before glancing at her alarm clock, "What are you doing here so early?"
"It's time…" said Choetsu with a shit-eating grin on his face. Shizuka's eyes widened; she knew exactly what he was talking about, as the contents and terms of their deal had been explained to her and the rest of the villagers the previous night.
"Already; but I just woke up!" whined Shizuka, "Can I at least have some time to pack up?"
"Oh there's no need for that; I'll bring along all the things you need after you have met your new sensei," replied the Rikudou Hiraishin.
"My…new sensei; but I thought you were going to teach me."
"Sorry no, but I'm a little too busy with other matters to be teaching you myself," explained the blonde-haired Rinnegan user, "But don't fret; the guy I got to be your teacher is pretty good himself. In fact, why don't we go see him right now…"
Shizuka was just about to say something when Choetsu suddenly took his right thumb and middle finger before giving a loud, resounding snap. Then, their surroundings shifted in an instant; one moment they were in Shizuka's bedroom, the next they were on top of a towering citadel overlooking a sprawling, highly-industrialized, steam punk city.
Shizuka was so startled that she had almost fallen off the tower in panic, but thankfully Choetsu was able to catch her in time. The girl remained speechless, unable to comprehend the fact that she had just been teleported half way across the continent with a single snap. Then she noticed that it was raining heavily around them, but she didn't feel wet.
Looking up, the girl saw that the rain drops were bending around her and Choetsu, as if there was an invisible umbrella above them. She knew instantly that the enigmatic blonde was responsible.
"Welcome, Shizuka, to Amegakure no Sato," said Choetsu, "The Village Hidden in the Rain."
Namikaze Kurama woke up the next morning feeling like a totally new person; completely rested and rejuvenated despite the fact that she had actually gotten so little sleep last night. It didn't take her long to notice that she was in Naruto's bed alone, and that her brother must have awoken before her.
The red-haired girl got out of bed before stretching a bit, then making her way to the bedroom door. Opening the door, she found herself face to face with her blonde-haired twin, who was in the middle of knocking.
"Oh, morning nii-san," greeted the redhead cheerfully, "Did you need something?"
"Uh, not really, I was just gonna wake you up because Tou-chan said he wanted to talk to you," replied Naruto, "He said it was important."
Kurama looked puzzled, "Daddy wants me; for what? And is he okay? After, well…you know."
"Oh, he's perfectly fine! He keeps muttering something about "ninja therapists" and "evil ramen" but other than that and some wounded pride he's all good."
"That's excellent! I would have seriously mutilated you if Daddy went insane from what you did," said Kurama with a creepy smile on her face, causing the blonde prankster to nearly wet himself. Why did all the females in his family have to be so scary?
"Umm, y-yeah, it's a good thing he didn't or else I would have been screwed, hehe," replied Naruto nervously, "Anyways, I think I should really be going right about now…"
The sister/mother-fearing twelve-year old made a break for it, trying to walk away from the scene while remaining as inconspicuous as possible in an attempt to evade his terrifying sibling before she went bonkers.
Now left alone, the vixen blinked at her brother's strange behavior before making her way to her father's private study.
"Did you need me for something, Daddy," asked Kurama after opening the door to Minato's office. The blonde Hokage was looking over what seemed to be important documents when she barged in, and like Naruto said there was no sign of his nervous breakdown from the night before. Kurama waited hesitantly at the door for her father's permission to fully enter the room.
"Yes, come in, Kurama," said the Yondaime, "I just need to check up on your seal."
"My seal…but I thought I was the Kyuubi itself, not a jinchuuriki," asked Kurama in confusion, "Why would I have a seal?"
Minato smiled at her before going into a long explanation of how, despite the fact that she was the reincarnated Nine-Tailed Fox itself, she still needed a seal to contain her chakra. Kurama's fragile human body would not be able to withstand the full power of the Kyuubi until she received the proper training, so her Uncle Choetsu devised a powerful seal to keep the demonic chakra at bay until then.
Kurama's seal, unlike the seals of ordinary jinchurikis which contained both the souls and chakra of their demon, merely acted like a limiter that prevented her body from being overwhelmed by the sheer amount of chakra she really had.
Minato then went on to explain how the seal had somehow loosened during the genin exam, and the sudden influx of her demonic chakra caused the girl to lose control of her ninjutsu. Finally, her father asked her to lift her shirt and focus chakra to her stomach, causing the complex sealing array to appear on her belly.
Forming a series of hand seals, Minato took his palm and placed it on Kurama's seal with gentle affection, before a sharp, but brief pain resonated through Kurama's body. The girl gave a shriek, but the pain was gone as fast as it had came, leaving a feeling of euphoria afterwards.
"There, I fixed the seal," said Minato, "Now your chakra control is back to normal."
His daughter gave him a wide smile before pulling the blonde-haired adult into a warm embrace.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you so much!"
After showering and eating breakfast, the two siblings were ready to go. They gave their parents a quick farewell before heading out the door and making their way to the studio where they would get their pictures taken.
Naruto had the bright idea to cover himself in vibrant face and body paint for his "unique" photo, which in the future, would draw plenty of laughs from Minato and plenty of anger and frustration from Kushina. After the pictures, Naruto and Kurama had an encounter with a boy named Konohamaru who had tried to "assassinate" the old Sandaime, his own grandfather, but had ended up tripping on his own scarf.
Despite an initial argument between the two with Kurama in the middle trying to diffuse it, Naruto and Konohamaru quickly warmed up to each other. The former Hokage's grandson begged Naruto to teach him how to be a strong ninja, declaring that he was tired of being called the "Honorable Grandson" all the time and wanted to become Hokage one day and surpass his grandfather.
The boy's heartfelt declaration pulled on Naruto's heartstrings, who had experience similar situations with living in the shadows of a kage, and immediately took off to a training ground with his new protégé, with Kurama hesitantly in tow.
Not long afterwards, a Tokubetsu jonin tutor who called himself Ebisu showed up and interrupted his lesson, and would have stopped it completely if Naruto hadn't knocked out the closet pervert with his new Harem jutsu. Needless to say, after the technique faded away, Kurama gave her brother the beating of a lifetime.
After finally saying goodbye to Konohamaru, the two Namikaze siblings made their way to the academy.
"This is it, Kurama," said Naruto, filled determination, "Are you ready?"
The red-haired vixen gave her brother a nod of confirmation. Looking at the front gates of Konoha's Ninja Academy, Kurama couldn't help but wonder about the irony of the situation. Twenty-four long hours ago, she had arrived at the academy a little girl who was unaware of her real identity and unsure of what the future had in store for her.
Twenty-four long hours later, she was now arriving at the academy as a genin, an adult in the eyes of the village. She was now aware of her true origins, and although she still wasn't sure of what the future would hold, she would face it with confidence nonetheless.
But she would not face it alone.
Turning towards her blonde-haired brother, Kurama said confidently, "Here we go, Nii-san. Let's take the world by storm."
TBC
A.N. And there you go, Chapter 10. Sorry I didn't get to Team 7 this week, but next chapter I promise. And yes, Konan and Nagato are officially good guys right now. Also, that "Ken Watanabe shit" is a reference to Saito from Inception, for those of you who couldn't tell.
Takamagahara means "high heavenly plains", and is a location in Japanese mythology. I used it as an original Shinto-based name for Tobi's version of Kamui, in order to better distinguish it from Kakashi's Kamui. AKA Jikukan Ido, as it was mentioned in the chapter. Also, the other nine Mangekyo techniques that Choetsu mentioned will all be revealed along the way, but just as a heads up, Amaterasu/Kagatsuchi, Tsukuyomi, and Susanoo are all part of the ten. Most of the others are also canon, with a few original ones mixed in that I made up.
By the way, am I the only one noticing that my chapter lengths are getting progressively longer and longer?
Now for my Original Character Profiles!
Choetsu Uzumaki
Titles/Aliases:Rikudou Hiraishin (Flying Thunder God of Sixth Paths),Hachidaime Hokage (Eighth Fire Shadow),Shodai Kamikage (First Divine Shadow)
Birthdate: December 25
Gender: Male/Transcendant Being
Age: Immortal (Note: Even before his ascension, Choetsu was biologically immortal due to being the perfect jinchuuriki of the Juubi)
Kekkei Genkai: Too many to list.
Nature Type: Too many to list.
Jutsus/Techniques: Are you kidding me?
Occupation: Kamikage, True Rikudou, Transcendant Being
Ninja Rank: Kage (pre-ascension)
Academy Entrance Age:4
Academy Graduation Age:5
Tokubetsu Jonin Promotion Age:6
Jonin Promotion Age:12
Jonin Commander Promotion Age:24
Hokage Inauguration Age:50
Hokage Retirement Age:80
Kamikage Inauguration Age:100
Family: Megami Uzumaki (Wife),Naruto Uzumaki (Father),? Uzumaki (Mother),Haruka Uzumaki (Sister),Kazama Uzumaki (Brother),Minato Namikaze (Grandfather),Kushina Uzumaki (Grandmother)