Dark Wolf 11
By Max
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing
Notes: Heero's pov
I have never studied philosophy. I can clean every type of pistol known to humanity, up to the point of my cryopreservation. Trowa talked a little about philosophy when I was recovering under his care at the circus. Voltaire and Nietzsche, and in Trowa's mouth, as he read to me, they made some kind of profound sense. The meaning of life is what we create it to be.
When I went back to them, years later, they were empty, like drinking some soda Duo let out long enough to go flat. The bubbles were just gone.
When I first met Duo on the beach, running into him was like running into the edge of the world. The training Dr. J forced on me didn't really make sense. It was just stuff I had to do or die. By the time I got to that beach, dying looked pretty good. Still, there was something about him, even in that first violent meeting, that gave the world shape.
Relena once told me, under circumstances that I do not clearly remember, that the point of being human was to love. Maybe Duo is just the first person I loved, first love of any kind. Maybe he's the first person who loved me. It's a little irrational to say he loved me that first day on the beach, but he saved me anyway, risked himself to do so.
This moment reminds me of those moments.
I don't like blood, just to make a note. I'd never really thought about it before because maybe I've never been truly resurrected before been far enough from Dr. J to really have an unuseful opinion, but I don't like blood. It smells bad. It covers things up and it's just... out of place. The missing woman's blood was everywhere. There was a larger splatter reach where something had punctured her, and then a much smaller range where it was thicker, lines back and forth like something had shook her. It couldn't be from a bullet or any other common weapon. The range really wasn't that big. It was the attack of a large anima, an animal large enough to carry away a full grown woman without leaving drag tracks. She was dead.
Duo was nearly a dire wolf in his wolf form, but he wasn't that big.
Duo also wasn't the Duo I remembered more clearly now. In the months leading up to our fight, he'd been fragile, erratic, paranoid almost. I remember not liking the medication that Quatre's doctors had him on. I'm all for medication that helps, but not pills that make problems worse. There were so many unfinished threads in my memory and it's hard to know if they're unfinished because I can't remember or because I never found out before I went in to cryo.
But this Duo...
He's nothing like that Duo. There is an aura of power to him as he kneels there in that bloody garden. The uniform he wears fits him, like the authority fits him, like it was always there, grown from the roots of righteous rage in his childhood, matured into dependable authority that will put things right. His braid is a little longer than it had been before my cryo, a little thicker and both darker like his wolf form and highlighted with metallic silver strands that whisper his true age.
The crying boy in front of him, so lost and torn, I stand here watching Duo comfort him, a hand running over the little boy's hair, soft words, calm and steady. I know Duo will never promise something he can't produce, but there is promise in every centimeter of him, every breath.
I'm immediately ashamed for wishing for him to be my father, to protect me, to comfort me like he comforts this little boy. I have more from him than anyone else ever will have, but I can not let myself ask that and I shouldn't need it. He is not my gravity, but loving him gives me shape nonetheless and I do love him. I love him so hard it burns my chest.
Merlin appeared then, looking like a savage girl with dreadlocks decorated with oak leaves. I shall tell you, she is decidedly disturbing sometimes. She's so very real, but she doesn't smell like anything. People are supposed to carry a slight scent, especially if they're wearing skins and oak leaves. It makes her feel like a ghost. I might need a therapist if she ever gets mad at me and shows up with a little dead dog.
She smiled as she handed him a new pair of running shoes. "You'll want these."
And she does very odd thing like handing me a second pair of running shoes. "Thank you, very much."
She scrubbed at her face for a moment, like she was tired.
I wonder if AI people get tired, frustrated. If so, living with Duo must make her very tired.
She sighed. "They have a tracking system in them. You'll be able to track him."
"Why would I need to track him?" Heero looked back at Duo, only to have his mouth drop open, as Duo was already half naked.
Heero toed out of his other shoes even as he tried to hurry to Duo. "Wait! What are you doing? Duo!"
Moving and doing nearly had him falling so he stopped, toed completely out of his shoes, but Duo was already shifting into a wolf that was larger and scarier looking than he'd seemed at night. At his head, he was taller than Jose to reached out and petted his big wet nose. Everything in Heero wanted to run and grab the boy up before the great big wolf at him. There was something primal and terrifying in seeing this huge wolf in the bright light of day.
When he turned and looked at Heero with those sublime twilight eyes, Heero froze, lips parted, breath held. Duo. This really wasn't that different than Duo had always been. He'd always been something strange and wonderful and slightly inexplicable. Hurrying now, fingers shaking, Heero put on the new shoes that fit perfectly and had the slightest hint of vibration to them.
When Duo took off at a run, moving faster than Heero had expected, the shoes vibrated in response and Heero gave chase. The town gave way to the forest and the forest was the wolf's true home. It wasn't Heero's home.
Fallen trees, hills, rocks, and Heero refused to be left behind. What the wolf bounded over, the man had to claw and climb. Skin scraped, cloth torn, Heero ran, the shoes giving him subtle direction that he didn't even think about anymore, just trusted and flowed with it.
The trail crested on a ridge and Heero came to such an abrupt stop that he almost rolled down the other side. Breathing heavy, he wished he'd brought water. Then he heard the growl and he wished he'd fucking brought a gun. The prickles on his neck stabbed into his stomach and the thought of running in the other direction seemed like the really reasonable thing to do.
There was a small creek at the base of the ridge, and a cave opening, a rocky creek beach. Duo growled back, teeth bared, paws sinking in the gravelly beach. He faced off with a wolf that was full on dire wolf if Heero had ever seen one. It made Duo look like dog. Darker with black eyes and bloody teeth. The lunge came before Heero was ready and the two wolves wrestled, the bigger wolf going for Duo's throat with enthusiasm.
Heero hissed and threw himself down the hill, skidding and barely keeping to his feet. Duo yipped, kicking and skillfully turning it as he aimed for the back of the bigger wolf's neck. Heero fell in the creek, icy water soaking into his clothes, sending sharp through scraps, but he grabbed a rock, and eyed the snarling ball of wolf. He sprung, grabbing a fist full of the bigger wolf's fur and slamming the rock down on it with enough force to break bones, enough strength to wreck steel, and all he got was a yip and those teeth headed in his direction.
Self destructing in Zero is clean in comparison. It's a button here, a bit of waiting, and then shock. Watching bloody great teeth come towards one's neck in slow motion is nothing at all like self destructing. Duo slammed into the bigger wolf and those teeth scraped across Heero's shoulder, ripping his hoodie. They were tides of fur and muscle and the great beast rolled Duo under him. Those jaws closed on Duo's shoulder and broke bone. Duo screamed, a howl that blended into a man's scream.
Heero threw himself on the big wolf's back, slammed his fist into the back of its skull, into it's spine, hitting with everything he had, harder than he'd ever hit anything in his whole life. His fist disintegrated under the impact, but the big wolf collapsed on Duo. Enraged, Heero ripped dark fur out of the great beast. He slipped to the side and kicked it with all his will, shifting it just enough off of Duo, that Heero could pull him free with his still good hand.
A few feet from what Heero hoped was the body of the other wolf, he knelt down by Duo's unconscious body. Nervously, he checked for a pulse and found his breath when he found the pulse. It was awkward, but he got the hoodie off and used it to apply pressure to the vicious bite in Duo's shoulder. He leaned close and whispered in Duo's ear. "I'm almost here. We'll be okay. Just hold on a little longer."
Then the big wolf shifted, rolling back onto its belly. For a moment, those dark eyes locked eyes with Heero. Heero stared back as menacingly as he could, threatening with resources he didn't have. When the huge thing pushed to its feet, snarled, but then turned away and limped off down the creek, Heero started to cry from relief. He wrapped his good arm around Duo and pulled him close, holding him in his lap, while applying pressure to the bite. "Just a little longer Duo, just a little longer, please.