Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

"You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don't try to forget the mistakes, but you don't dwell on it. You don't let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space."
-Johnny Cash

Lullaby

I tried to grab on Mike's jacket but I couldn't get my fingers around the fabric quick enough. I fell onto my butt as I stared at the familiar silver Volvo in front of me. Mike raised an eyebrow and was about to ask one of his ridiculous questions when I put my finger to my lip and let out a low 'sh.' I pulled my finger from my lips and held out my hands for Mike to grab and pull me to my feet. I flinched when I stepped on my sore ankle. Running was not an option right now, so the next best thing, walk away quickly.

I turned on my heel and limped away as fast as I could. Wherever Edward was Emmett would be to and I don't think that I could out run Emmett. Heck! I don't think a Cheetah could out run Emmett. I started to limp faster. Mike following close behind me – confused. He moved his mouth to say something again but I pressed my finger to my lip. He pouted but didn't say anything else. I grabbed onto his shoulder and tried to pull myself up so I wasn't putting too much pressure on my swollen ankle.

"What's going on?" Mike finally asked when he was sure that I wouldn't hit him.

"Ex-boyfriend," I informed him as I tried to limp faster from the strip club.

"Bella," Mike turned me around and made me stare at him. I flinched when I accidently put pressure on my swollen ankle. "You can't keep running away from your past." Mike repeated something he heard off of Dr. Phil. "I know that you're afraid that it might be awkward between you two but the past is the past."

"Mike you don't understand! I-" He held up his hand to stop me.

"I understand perfectly well Bella. You're afraid that things will be awkward between you two, but the past is the past." Mike smiled at me as he pushed me – awkwardly – towards the Amish Ankle Room.

"Mike you don't understand," I screamed at him as I tried not to fall and keep pressure off my ankle at the same time. "It's not that I'm afraid it's going to be awkward its –" Mike shook his head again before walking in front of me so he could pull me by my arm. I growled in frustration as I grabbed onto the side of the brick building with my free hand. My fingers were digging into the rough texture as Mike pulled my arm. "We can get my paycheck after he leaves." I screamed at him when he wouldn't let go of my arm.

Mike yanked on my arm and I lost my grip on the building. I stumbled forward flinching every time that I put pressure on my swollen ankle. "Ouch. Ouch." I screamed at him as I walked awkwardly behind him. He didn't slow down his pace or let go of my arm.

As we got closer to the Volvo I walked quickly so I was next to him. We walked together – he was on the side where the Volvo was park and I was manipulating my body so I could hide beside him. He was a skinny from all the cocaine – so it made it difficult for me hide my body behind (or in this case next to) his.

I looked at the tinted windows to see if I could maybe get a glimpse of him – but they were too dark. I was slightly grateful for the small miracle that was the tinted windows, even though I knew that if he decided to look out his passenger's window at anytime he could easily see me and my pathetic attempt to hide beside Mike.

Mike opened the door for me and I threw myself into the strip club – anxious to avoid Edward. Though I didn't understand why Edward would be parked outside of a strip club anyways. I stared at the door as Mike followed in after me. I started to limp further into the strip club, my eyes still on Mike and the closing door. I was about a foot into the club when I hit something hard. I pulled away and mumbled a loud apology – mentally praying that it wasn't a drunken horny man. When I was finally away from the hard object I looked up at it and fought the urge to cry.

"Hello Bella." Emmett smiled down at me. He was holding a cell phone in his hands, it was visibly vibrating and the light was shining on it. I read the caller ID – it read Edward.

"Fuck." I screamed loudly.

--

"Pick up the phone Emmett!" I yelled loudly into the receiver as I got out of my car. I was almost positive that Bella was in the strip club that he had just walked into. The phone continued to ring in my ear as I walked around the car to the passenger's side. I didn't want to walk in – incase Bella decided to run. The last thing I wanted or needed was to cause a scene.

The doors to the strip club opened and loud screams from both a male and female came from it. I flipped my cell phone shut and stared in horror as I saw Emmett carry a kicking and screaming Bella out of the strip club. They were accompanied by a tall boy that was screaming at Emmett to let Bella go. I ran towards them my heart beating loudly in my chest.

"Open the door to the Volvo Edward!" Emmett ordered me. I turned around and grabbed clumsily onto the door handle and pulled it open. The guy behind him was screaming at us about paying us back. Emmett threw Bella in the back seat and closed the door on her. Bella slammed her hands onto the window as she tried to open it. Emmett smiled at her and started to make faces. She audibly growled before crawling across the back seat to open the other door. "Damnit!" Emmett yelled as he ran to the other side of the car to make sure Bella didn't open the other door.

"I'll pay for whatever she owes." The guy that was screaming at Emmett was now screaming at me. "Just give us some time! I promise we'll have whatever amount of money you need in less than a week."

I chose to ignore the rest of his screaming and walked to the driver side of my Volvo – ignoring Emmett's ring around the Volvo game he was playing with Bella. I was slightly embarrassed that we just publically kidnapped a stripper, but it was the red-light district, sadly this type of thing happened all the time. I opened the driver's door and jumped into the car. The keys were still in the ignition and so all I had to do was turn it and wait for the engine to start up. It started up quickly – purring softly – I pushed it into drive and pressed my right food on the accelerator – leaving Emmett behind.

"Are you ok Bella?" I asked ignoring Emmett's screaming as he kicked the concrete under his feet.

"Can I go home?" Bella asked – her voice was choked.

"You are going home." I tried to smile at her.

"Is this some kind of sick joke," she looked at me through the mirror. Tears were falling down her eyes smearing her mascara. "You kick me out only to bring me back a week later." Her voice was high and shaking after every word. "What the fuck is your problem." Her nostrils were visibly flaring.

"I'm sorry," I apologized.

"For what?" Her voice was sharp.

"For everything that I've done that has ever hurt you." I whispered.

"You sound like an old romance novel." Bella snapped at me as she climbed into the front seat. I could feel a string being pulled on my heart, it was almost like old times, I would say something corny and she would make a negative comment about it.

"Does this mean you forgive me?" I asked turning to her.

She shook her head. "There's nothing to be forgiven for," she whispered her anger slowly fading. "I'm the one who should be sorry. I shouldn't have lied."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked taking a right hand turn – mentally reminding myself to call Rose to pick up Emmett.

"I don't know." She lied before leaning down in the front seat. "I spent all my life disappointing people and for once in my life I wanted someone to be proud of me." She whispered. "I didn't want to hurt your feelings."

"I am proud of you Bella." I made sure to look at her as I said it. "I'm proud that you're still here even after going through so much. I'm proud that you can make cheesy jokes about things that I know bother you. And I'm proud that you can out smart Emmett." I made sure to chuckle after the last line so she could see the humor in it.

Bella smiled shyly to herself. "I missed you," she looked up at me. "I know I probably sound like some cheesy seventies movie, but it was scary being on my own again – even if it was only for a week."

"It was scary for me to." I reached to grab one of her hands – she gave it to me. I smiled to myself as I wrapped my fingers around her warm flesh. "I didn't know if you were still alive, dead, or using. I was terrified." I admitted.

Bella frowned at me. "Why do you have to be so perfect?" She asked removing her hand from mine. "Why do you have to say the right thing at the right time? Why can't you be angry at me and tell me to get out of your life?"

I frowned at her – confused by her reaction.

"I spent the whole week convincing myself that I was better off without you. That the reason I was using is because I was happy with the way that my life was going and that drugs only made me happier." Her voice started to choke as she neared the end of her sentence – she was crying. "But now as I sit her in your Volvo I feel happy Edward. I've never been so happy before in my life." She was starting to sob.

"If you're so happy than why are you crying?" I asked frantically still confused by her reaction.

"I don't know!" She sobbed out as she hid her face behind her hands. She was giggling to herself.

It was one of those contagious giggles that once someone starts everyone has to join in and finish. I smiled down at her before chuckling to myself. Soon we were both laughing, her through her tears, and me through my awkwardness of her tears. There was much more crying, talking, and arguing that would happen later on but right now the relief of having each other back was overwhelming and the only thing that could cure it was a good, genuine laugh.

--

I stared silently at the wall in front of me. The withdrawals were already starting to kick in. My hands were shaking, my head hurt, nauseous was making it difficult for me to sleep – though I was very tired. In a matter of hours I would be hunched over a trash can crying as I vomited whatever Edward would push down my throat. I begged and pleaded with him not to let any of his family members over for a couple of days. I was still embarrassed and ashamed of being caught doing drugs and stripping – though I did tell him the embarrassing story of how I twisted my ankle as I tried to spin around the pole – he laughed at me…a lot.

I turned around and smiled to myself. Edward was lying next to me, his eyes still closed and breathing lightly. He promised to stay with me tonight – mostly because I was an emotional wreck and didn't want to be alone. I felt guilty for bullying him into it, but I was still grateful that he stayed with me through the whole night. I closed my eyes and let out a low huff, my headache was slowly and very painfully turning into a migraine.

"How are you feeling?" Edward asked groggily next to me.

"What no good morning?" I tried to make a joke out of it but my headache was so painful that it was actually hurting my eyeballs.

"Are you ok?" Edward asked his voice frantic.

I nodded. "I just have a headache." And I feel nauseous – I added the later part to myself.

"Do you want me to get you anything?" The panic was evident in his voice.

"You act like I'm about to have a baby." My attempt at humor was over powered by the pounding in my head. "I'm fine," I tried to lie. "I just need a glass of water and some Tylenol."

"Do you want me to call Carlisle?" Edward asked as he got out of bed. I couldn't see him but I could feel and hear his frantic movements.

I shook my head. "No, it's just a migraine." I pulled the covers over my head and pushed my head into the pillow as I tried to focus on something else instead of the growing pain in my head. "And so it begins…"I whispered to myself as I let out a small moan of pain as the tears build up in my eyes.

--

"It's been a week." I yelled at Alice over the phone. Bella hadn't gotten out of bed, she barely slept, she refused to eat and when she did eat she would get really nauseous and sometimes throw it up. "She didn't last this long last time!" I continued to scream at her.

"Everybody reacts differently to withdrawals Edward." Alice said calmly. "There's no telling how long it will last. Her body is trying to get over the shock of not having substances in her system."

I growled in frustration before hanging up on her. She told me the same thing all the websites said. Withdrawals were different for everyone and there was no defiant answer how long it would last. I sighed to myself before I fell down onto the couch. Bella was asleep in my room – I slipped sleeping pills into her water when she wasn't looking. Carlisle was giving me medication to slip into Bella's food and drinks when she wasn't paying attention. I promised Bella that I wouldn't bother my family with her problems, but they were just as concerned as I was. Everyone liked Bella, well everyone besides Rosalie, she wasn't happy about the fact that I left her husband in the Red-light District so I could bring home a stripper. In my defense I promised Emmett that I would him back for the bail fee.

"What are you still doing up?" A low voice came from beside me. I looked up to see Bella walking towards me – she was wearing her favorite pair of basketball shorts and my wife beater. She was stiff and her face twisted every time she made a small movement.

"Shouldn't you be asleep?" I asked avoiding her question.

She shrugged before taking a seat next to me. "Sleeping pills only last so long." She smiled up at me.

"How did you know?" I asked shock clearly evident in my voice.

"You just told me." Bella smiled at me. I raised an eyebrow. "I had an idea that you were slipping pills into my drinks and you just confirmed it." I smiled at her. She was very sneaky. "Don't worry," she added quickly. "I'm not mad, I know you only did it because you care…and I'm sure my moaning was starting to get annoying."

I shook my head. "You don't annoy me, Bella." I grabbed her hand in mine. She smiled before laying her forehead on her shoulder. I stared at her arm – there was a small pink line on her arm from where she cut herself. It seemed like forever ago – I almost forgot about it. "Bella," I decided it was no or never.

"Hmm," she whispered not lifting up her head.

"How did you get that cut on your arm?" I asked. I looked at Bella as I waited for her reaction.

"Promise you won't freak." Bella whispered. I nodded knowing very well that I probably was going to freak if it was what I thought it was. "I was cutting up lines of coke." She whispered softly. "I got distracted and I accidently cut my arm."

I was quiet as I listened to her words. It was defiantly different than what I thought it was and for some reason I felt grateful that it wasn't what I was thinking. I was grateful that she wasn't in so much pain that she would intentionally put harm to herself. I removed my hand from hers and wrapped it around her shoulder bringing her closer to me. "I'm glad you didn't cut yourself," I whispered into her hair.

Bella shook her head against my shoulder. "I don't like blood," she admitted timidly. "I could never cut myself on purpose."

I ignored the fact that she said 'cut' instead of 'hurt.' I closed my eyes and listened to the soft rhythm of her breathing. I tried to follow along but I found it difficult, she was like a lamb, her breaths short and fast – I was more like a lion, my breaths large and slow. I smiled to myself I started to hyperventilate trying to keep up with Bella's breathing.

"Goodnight Bella." I whispered into her ear before humming the lullaby that my mom used to sing to me before she died. I ran my fingers into Bella's hair and started to hum the lullaby louder. I stopped trying to match her breath – afraid that I would pass out if I continued to force myself to breathe that slowly.

"I love you, Edward." Bella whispered quietly in her sleep.

My heart stopped along with my breath and my eyes shot open. There was no way that I was going to sleep anytime soon.

End Chapter.