Gaston's arrival had unfortunately done nothing to slow Bobby and Bae leaving for their new apartment and leaving Belle alone. Well, she wasn't really alone, because there were still the other residents and the staff and everyone, but they had been her only friends and she missed them. She could still text or call, but it was different having someone there with you every evening than needing to call them constantly.

Belle was still debating moving in with her dad when they had moved out. It was lonely to still be trapped at the shelter afterward, Bobby had been the only one she ever really talked to there and now she was sort of bereft. She'd talked to the shelter coordinators, and they told her they would call around and let her know when there was a place available nearer to her father but that she wasn't exactly going to be a high priority since she was safe. So she was stuck doing nothing and never leaving the compound except to go to the library on some random afternoon each week. She was going stir crazy, and that's always when she was most prone to making rash decisions.

Can we go out? she texted Bobby in the middle of the week when she was absolutely sure she was going to scream if things didn't change. It doesn't matter when.

He didn't answer right away, but she didn't have much to do besides wait for a reply.

Will it be safe? he sent back.

I'll figure something out, but I've gotta get away from this place for a little while.

Then okay, he sent back.

She was pretty free to plan her escape for the rest of the week, and she was also completely sure she knew what she wanted to do. There was just the simple matter of how to talk him into it.

Gaston wouldn't know to look for Bobby or his car (as far as Belle could tell, anyway) so she'd had him pick her up behind the shelter and she sat in the back and ducked down until they were far enough away that it wasn't a huge risk to join him in the front. From there, it was almost a real date. They went to a really small, mid-range restaurant (the kind she was sure Gaston wouldn't ever go to) and then the drive-in again. It was nice, and she had a nice time, but she'd already decided she wanted more.

She was watching Bobby watch the movie, and he turned to look at her and smiled. She was safe here and she liked that, and she wanted to like it. Dangerous men had gotten her into this situation, and she didn't want to be like this again once it was over.

"I think we should have sex," she said and he went completely pale. She hadn't meant to blurt it out like that, but it needed to be on the the table.

"I – what?"

"We should have sex," she said again, trying to sound as confident as she could. "I mean it."

He swallowed hard and looked back to the screen and then back to her face.

"I don't think that's a good idea," he said at last.

"Why not?"

"It's just – it's not a good idea."

"I think it is," she said, sliding closer to him slowly. "When was the last time someone was gentle with you?"

He was staring straight ahead now and she could see his heartbeat in his throat. He looked like a spooked horse, and she was going to need to be slow if she wanted this. And she did want it. She wanted to do it just this once with a man who would be kind.

"Because I don't remember the last time anyone was with me," she continued when he didn't reply. "I'm not asking you for anything more than that. I just don't want the last time I was with someone to be with him. I want to know what it's supposed to feel like."

She took his hand in hers and traced his fingers gently. At last, he tightened his hand around hers and looked back into her eyes.

"I can't, Belle," he said in a rush. "I want to, I do – but I can't."

"I won't make you," she said, leaning her head onto his shoulder and pulling his hand into her lap so she could keep tracing the lines of his palm and his fingers. "Can I ask why not?"

She felt him shake his head and she just relaxed into him. If he was going to tell her, he'd tell her and if he wasn't then she was still here with him. She just wanted to feel this for just a little bit longer either way, and if he wasn't comfortable with sex then this would have to do. She didn't know if he loved her or not, and she certainly didn't know if she loved him, but she has come to realize that he made her feel loved, and that was worth clinging to if anything was. She just didn't want to walk away from him and leave the state without this one last piece of normalcy.

"My wife gave me something," he said suddenly and it took her a second to figure out what he was talking about.

"You mean...an STD?"

She didn't look at him, she didn't want him to feel like she was judging him but she also didn't want him to think she hated him. So she squeezed his hand and waited for him to talk again.

"Yeah," he said at last. "I just found out a couple weeks ago. I finished my medication, but I don't know if it's still...the doctor can't tell me if it was effective for another few months."

"Is that the only reason you said no?"

"It's not," he admitted. "I just...I'm a disappointment in everything else I do, you know. You've said that you enjoyed sex with your ex, well my wife never enjoyed me. Like that."

She regretted telling him all that now. It was the truth, but it also wasn't. She had enjoyed it. Physically, it had been good. But at the same time, she'd never felt safe. She'd never felt cherished or really loved. She'd never felt any of the things you were supposed to feel with a man, and she wanted to feel them now. She was almost thirty years old and she'd never had a man actually love her enough to want her to enjoy sex for her own sake and not as a sign of his virility. But how was she supposed to tell him that while she was trying to seduce him? That she wanted it to be him simply because he cared enough to fear disappointing her?

"You wouldn't hurt me," she said. "Or do anything I didn't want, would you?"

"No, of course not."

He sounded almost offended by her question, and that was why she wanted him.

"See? I've never really had that before and I just want to know how it feels. I won't hate you and I won't judge you. All I want is to feel good about myself for a few minutes, and I want you to feel good, too."

"And the...my problem?"

"We'll use a condom," she said. "We'd have needed to use one anyway. And I'll know to get tested later."

He still looked unsure, but she had said all she knew to say so instead she learned forward and kissed him gently. He was so gentle when he kissed her back, surely this had to be the right choice.

"Alright," he said once they had broken the kiss. "If you're sure you really want to."

They left the movie early, before either could lose their nerve, and went to a gas station to buy a small pack of condoms. Bae was home with a babysitter, and neither one wanted any potential witnesses to what they were doing, so they returned to the clearing where they had kissed for the first time and spent hours holding each other in the car.

It had been a long time since Bobby had tried to have sex in the backseat of a car, and he wasn't entirely sure how they would even manage it without high school eagerness and flexibility on their side. The location was just adding to his nerves about the whole damn thing. He hadn't even been positive if they were really dating dating or just been going out as friends until that moment and quite frankly he still wasn't sure just exactly what this was all about. She wanted to have sex with him, but she had also said it was a one time thing. If he was sensible at all, he'd ask her what she really hoped to get, but there was a part of him that was so desperate for her acceptance in this that he didn't dare question her and risk her changing her mind.

He parked under the shadow of some trees, further away from the other cars than he usually would have. Now that they were there with the three pack of condoms sitting next to her feet, they both seemed to have lost their nerve. They were both staring straight ahead and not even touching each other – Bobby couldn't even take his hands off the steering wheel. This had been a mistake, and he just knew that she was going to ask him to take her back to the shelter and he thought he might actually be relieved when she did.

"You okay?" she said softly, and he realized now that she was looking at him.

"Yeah. You?"

"I'm a little nervous, but I'm okay."

"We don't have to do this."

"But I want to. With you. I like the idea of it." She was blushing a little bit, and for a long moment he couldn't quite remember how to breathe before she spoke again. "Should we get in the backseat?"

He nodded and they both quietly got out before settling on the spacious backseat. Thank God he'd gotten a bigger car because it would be safer, he couldn't imagine trying to do this in a sedan.

There was a small part of him that felt like he was going to a firing squad, but that all evaporated when she put her head on his shoulder again. He really did like her, and as scared as he was, she was right – it had been so long since anyone actually wanted him that he could barely remember what it felt like to not be a burden.

Bobby had never been the type to have sex just because the opportunity presented itself, but she had said she wanted a sexual encounter that wasn't with someone who would hurt her, and that was an impulse he more than understood. He was tired of sex feeling wrong – tired of feeling judged, or used or - worse - tolerated. If he could make Belle happy, then it would be proof that the problem didn't lie with him. It would be his own personal redemption.

Belle had her hand on his thigh, and that shouldn't feel as shocking as it did considering what they were about to do, but he felt like his skin was tightening around his skeleton until she turned slightly and leaned in to kiss him on the lips. This part they had done before, and she had liked it enough that now she wanted more and that was an encouraging thought.

He pulled her into his lap, and was rewarded with Belle shifting so that she was straddling him with one knee on either side of his thighs and her skirt hitched up to her hips. Her panties were tiny – baby pink see-through mesh and lace that dipped down in front – and nothing at all like he would imagine she would choose for herself. He couldn't follow that train of thought to its conclusion or this wasn't going to work, but the sooner those came off the happier he was going to be.

Bobby drew his eyes back to her face and contented himself with nuzzling into her neck while he drew little circles up and down her thighs with his fingers. Mercifully, she seemed to like that and started running her fingers through his hair slowly as he touched her legs. She really had beautiful legs, and this was the first (and possibly last) time he had ever been invited to admire them, and that was an opportunity he didn't plan to waste.

"You're beautiful," he whispered. "You really are."

She froze for a split second, but then he felt her relax into him and she tugged his hair just enough to tilt his head back far enough to kiss him again. This time was slower than before but deeper, and he felt himself begin to stir beneath her as she pressed herself into him. He hadn't realized how worried he was about being able to perform for nervousness until then and it was such a relief that he was responding to her that he almost forgot himself and leaned her back.

If they'd been in a bed, he would have wanted to undress her slowly and spend hours worshipping her body until he was sure he'd done well by her, but the car didn't lend itself well to such things and all he could do was maneuver one of his hands beneath her so he could touch her through her panties. The position was awkward, but she was making all the right sounds and he had to trust that she wouldn't fake it.

"Is this okay?" he asked her, hoping it wasn't too pitiful a question as he teased her with his fingers. He never should have agreed to doing this in the car. Even a motel would have been better where they could properly attempt it, in here he was already at a disadvantage against literally every man she'd ever slept with.

"It is," she said. "I like it."

She moved her hips on top of him and he was absolutely sure he was going to come just from watching her do that. He wanted to see so much more of her, though.

"Can you...do you mind if I take your shirt off?"

She smiled in response and pulled it off over her head quickly. She was wearing a bra that matched the panties in pink sheer with lace appliques accentuating her nipples and a series of straps outlining her breasts. It was sexy, but it wasn't her and it wasn't good enough for her. Bobby glanced around for something to cover her with and thankfully there was a blanket back here that Bae had left. He grabbed it off the seat and draped it over her shoulders before reaching his hands behind her back to unfasten the bra and pull it away. Once it was gone, she looked so much more like herself that he couldn't help but feel relieved even though her fingers were now working the buttons of his shirt open. It was only fair, and he cast the shirt off as soon as she'd finished unbuttoning it. She was teasing his skin with her fingernails, raking them just hard enough down his chest that he wanted to shiver at the sensation but not enough to hurt, never enough to hurt.

Emboldened, Bobby slid his hand down the front of her panties. Somehow, she was wet from anticipation in spite of his clumsy backseat fumblings and he could have cried from relief. He didn't want to disappoint, and he didn't want to put her off him by being worse than she was used to.

"What do you want me to do?" he asked. He hated needing to ask her what she liked, but he knew he was bad at this, and he liked her too much to want to risk it.

"Isn't it obvious?" she teased and he flinched. He knew she didn't mean anything by it, but he couldn't help the reaction. He was so, so bad at this and it was a mistake to even try.

He could see the moment Belle recognized the source of his distress, because her smile changed from happy to something else. It wasn't cruel or mocking, but she almost looked sad and like she pitied him and that was worse. Mocking he could have handled, he'd certainly done it before – but pity was so very different and he suddenly felt smaller and weaker than usual.

"I like this," she said quietly. "Please don't stop."

Bobby began stroking her folds tentatively again, wishing he were anyone else right now.

"Like before," she prompted him gently, stroking his hair and down to his chin. "It was so, so good."

He wasn't even sure what he'd been doing before, but she kissed him softly and started moving her hips against his hand again. He knew enough to stay relatively still when she did that and to let her just use him to find her own pleasure. It was possible she could be content with that, and he wouldn't have to embarrass himself any further.

"Could you put your fingers inside me?" she asked and he readily complied, curling two fingers into her and stroking her softly.

"Like that?"

"Perfect," she gasped, moving her hips again and tilting her head back so that her breasts were thrust towards his face. "Can you put your thumb a little bit to the left?"

He did as she asked and she sighed happily before she began moving at a slow and steady pace. She was still wet, so he hadn't ruined that by getting upset at least – he just wanted her to like him. He was sure he could stand anything else as long as she didn't stop liking him. He recognized it as a silly worry, and that she wouldn't have asked him to do this if she didn't, but he couldn't shake the fear that he would do something to ruin her opinion of him.

Her breasts were in his eyeline and bouncing softly as she rode his fingers. He wanted to be able to lean forward and take one into his mouth, but he wasn't sure how to ask for that and he wasn't sure if she'd like it or not. They were beautiful though, small and perky and pale topped with rosy pink nipples that were just begging to be touched. He leaned forward enough to kiss her collarbone and her neck, and she responded by making a series of soft noises of pleasure that emboldened him enough to kiss down to the tops of her breasts.

"Oh, yes!" she gasped suddenly. "That's nice. I like that."

His heart did a little flip at the spontaneous praise, and he sucked the flesh of one of her breasts into his mouth softly only to be rewarded by another little pleased murmur so he repeated it on the other side for the same results. When he moved down to her nipples, she bucked her hips harder against his thumb and he felt his erection come roaring back to life at the noises she was making. He rested his free hand against the small of his back while he nipped and sucked his way across her breasts from top to bottom, revelling in the purrs of pleasure that she made when he drew his tongue across the undersides of them and the way she cooed her approval when he suckled at her pretty pink nipples. She was enjoying him, and he couldn't be more relieved.

After far too little time exploring her chest and curling his fingers inside her, she suddenly yelped and tilted forward and he could feel her muscles tightening around his fingers. He petted her hair and sent up a silent prayer of thanks that he'd done this much at least right. She was happy and content, and he was safe. He just wished he could have done it with her.

"That was so good," she said once she had calmed down. "I'm having so much fun."

There was a thin sheen of sweat on her face, and he suddenly realized the windows were fogged up. If it weren't so cold outside it would be unbearably hot, and even with the cool autumn air the inside of the car was uncomfortably warm.

"Are you alright?" he asked, almost dreading the answer. She seemed happy, but still. "Do you want me to take you home?"

She looked confused for a split second but then there was that kind smile again and she shook her head.

"I'm not ready to go yet," she said. "I'm having a really good time."

She kissed his forehead before climbing off of him and grabbing the pack of condoms from the front seat. She'd discarded the blanket he'd cast over her for modesty, and wriggled out of her panties leaving her sweaty and mussed in just a skirt and a little diamond pendant. It was like high school come true.

"Lay down," she said, pulling his arm gently and arranging him so he was half propped up by the door at his back with one leg on the seat and one on the floor to hold himself up.

He had known that she planned to have sex with him, and he'd even bought the condoms, but somehow in the bliss of watching her come undone his mind had decided that this was enough for her and that she had gotten what she wanted now. He was completely frozen at the prospect of what was coming next, and couldn't even help her as she unzipped his trousers and worked them down his hips enough for his erection to spring free. He was completely useless.

"What do you like?" she asked him from her seat across his thighs. "It's your turn now."

"You – you really don't have to do that."

"I want to," she said calmly, rubbing his chest down to his belly and teasing the smattering of hair with her fingers. "I'm really good at using my mouth if you want that. Or whatever else. Tell me what you like."

His mouth had gone completely dry at the mental image she'd conjured, and maybe someday he would take her up on it, but the way she'd said it so nonchalantly brought up more questions he was sure he didn't want answers to and besides, he enjoyed her.

"I like you," he said at last. "And if you want to know what I like, then that's my answer."

"I like you, too," she said, leaning over him and brushing the hair back from his face. "But I want to know how you'd like to be touched. I want it to be good for us both, not just me."

Holy shit, it was good for her? He knew she'd had an orgasm, but that didn't mean a whole lot in his experience. An orgasm was like having an itch scratched, it was good but it didn't always mean good. And now she was asking what he wanted her to do, when really all he wanted was to hear in exquisite detail that she'd enjoyed the last part of their encounter. She could do nothing but tell him all about it for the next hour and he'd be content. Nobody had ever asked him what he wanted them to do before, and he couldn't think of anything to ask for except for that.

"Talk to me?" he asked her. His face was burning even making the request, but her face lit up as soon as he said it, so it must have been the right choice. "Tell me what you're thinking."

"You were so good before," she said, teasing his chest hair a little bit and dragging her fingers down to rub his thighs. "You have really nice hands and your fingers felt so, so good inside me."

He couldn't breathe, and he could barely nod in encouragement. He didn't dare take his eyes off of her as she fished out a foil packet from the box and ripped it open to reveal the condom which she worked down his length before she began stroking his cock with a gentle grip.

"You have a really nice cock," she said and his kneejerk reaction was to tell her she was wrong or lying, but she was blushing a little bit and almost looked shy having said it. She wasn't a practiced seductress – or if she was, she wasn't being one with him. He'd never been so happy.

"What were you thinking about earlier?" he asked her. "When you came. If you don't mind telling me."

It was a risky question, but even if it wasn't him he wanted to know what had brought her off when she couldn't bear to look at him.

"I was thinking about you," she replied as she stroked him again and again. "I wasn't thinking of anything in particular. I was just remembering that it was your hand inside me and your mouth on my breasts and how good it all felt. You made me feel so, so good."

He was sure he was undone, but then she was suddenly moving to straddle him again and guiding him inside of her and oh God it was so, so perfect. It was like his entire life had been leading to this one stolen moment and he had to hold it together because once he came it would be over and who knew if he would ever have another one like it?

"Oh, Bobby," she gasped. "You feel so good! Oh my...I would have asked for this first if I'd known! You're perfect – you're absolutely flawless."

Every word out of her mouth was like water in the desert and he didn't dare speak for fear of missing one, but she kept up a constant stream as she began to ride him slowly. She was telling him how much she enjoyed him and how nice his hands felt on her breasts and how good it felt to be full of him. She told him that she wanted more of him, that she didn't want to stop and that he was perfect inside of her. She gasped and moaned things like faster and I want you when words started to fail her, and by the time he couldn't resist thrusting up into her harder and faster, pulling her hips down onto his in his frantic desire for her, she screamed and shuddered and fell apart with him crying out his name before collapsing panting on his chest.

And then afterward, when they were both spent and overheated, she brushed the hair off of his face and kissed away the tears that he couldn't stop from coming. It should have been embarrassing to cry like that, but he didn't have the words to tell her that it hadn't ever felt like that for him before. It had been so long since he'd even felt good after sex, and he'd never had someone make him feel so wanted and desired, and it hurt so badly to know that their time together was limited. He loved her so much. He didn't want to let her go.