Give You Back
Gater101
She couldn't breathe. The stifling heat from the planet was affecting her respiratory system and she gulped deep breaths down to try and cool her burning lungs, but the dry hot air only made them worse.
She turned to Jonas who seemed to be having the same problem.
"Do not worry, Major Carter, it is much cooler inside the cave where we first encountered Colonel O'Neill." The first Tok'ra said and she nodded and walked quicker in the hope that the Tok'ra she passed would take her hint and take back over the lead and guide her quickly to coolness and to Jack.
Jack. She still found it strange to say his name and not his title. She closed her eyes for only a moment and tried to rid the vivid image she had of him, tortured and beaten and starving. She licked her chapped lips then opened her eyes again to find that the Tok'ra had passed her again and was guiding them to a large, gaping black hole in the rock face before them.
He halted and Sam all but rammed straight into him so intent on the gateway that she hadn't noticed his stalled motions.
"If it is the same as the previous occasion that we were here, then there are two guards standing directly past the entrance – one on the right, one on the left. I do not wish them to be killed, so use the Zats and fire only once-"
"We know how the Zats work," Jonas interrupted an exasperated look on his face.
The Tok'ra smiled tightly, annoyed that his speech had been interrupted. "Of course, my apologies. From there the tunnel leads down to the main cave where there are numerous Jaffa. However, there is an adjoining tunnel that leads up the way to a balcony: this area is not governed by Jaffa. It is up on this balcony that the room where Colonel O'Neill is being held is. Please, be silent as we make our way through, we do not wish the Jaffa to be alerted to our presence."
Sam was beginning to regret her decision to let the Tok'ra come on the mission. Now she remembered why Jack was adversely 'allergic' to them: they were smug, haughty and downright pains-in-the-asses. Instead of clubbing the man with her P-90, she followed him into the cave mouth and had her Zat ready to take action.
As soon as they entered the cave, a Jaffa stepped in front of them and pointed his staff at them.
Before he could engage his staff, Teal'c had blasted him with a shot from his own Zat and then copied his action on the second Jaffa who was still hiding in the dark.
"Good shot," Jonas said, still surprised by Teal'c's efficiency.
Teal'c bowed and then moved forward to where the wall was slightly darker than the rest of the face and motioned for them all to follow him.
"I do not recall informing you that you could take the lead, Jaffa." The smug Tok'ra stated.
"Rel'ar, that's enough." The second Tok'ra warned.
These two were not the ones who had come through the 'Gate the first time and Sam felt a little uneasy around them, but put it down to the fact that she was in such a rush to see Jack that she didn't trust anyone.
Climbing up the dark tunnel was not as easy as the Tok'ra had made it seem. There was water running down the main path and slimy algae was covering the walls making their progress that much more difficult.
As they got closer to the balcony, light seemed to fill the dark tunnel and Sam's heart began to beat faster and faster with the fear and adrenaline it always felt whenever she was on a rescue mission that included Jack O'Neill.
She climbed out into the light after Teal'c and stumbled, causing some loose rubble to trickle down over the edge of the 'balcony'.
It was more of a rock ledge, cut out by thousands of hands not long ago. The wall to the left still had jagged rocks jutting from it; the floor was dusty with what looked like shards of granite. The vast open space below seemed to radiate a red light; spurts of molten rock would erupt from holes in the ground; the floor was covered with bodies, some moving, some not and there was the occasional scream of a man tortured and Sam could only hope that it wasn't Jack.
When she snapped out of her reverie she noticed that the others were beginning to move away and Jonas was looking at her with a pitying look in hi eyes.
"Don't pity me, Jonas. I don't need it," she said quietly and he nodded.
"Come on, Sam. Let's go get him back." He turned and walked away but Sam stayed still.
She still wasn't sure she wanted to see him. Did she want to see what she had done to him? Did she really want to see the torn Jack O'Neill? Could she possibly deal with it? She wasn't sure she had the answers to any of these questions but she knew that she had to follow the others and not be caught.
She would do it for Angela.
Angela. The name left a bitter taste in her mind, as though a shot of salt water had been injected into it.
She quickly got her mind together and followed the others. She stayed at the back behind Jonas with her P-90 pointed over the edge in case any of the people below saw her. She stared, sometimes, at the back of Jonas' head remembering times when she had did that with Jack and knowing that he did it to her when she was in front of him. She smiled slightly but it was only fleeting and then suddenly tears filled her eyes. She wiped them away and tried not to sniff.
Another few minutes of silent walking passed and then she heard Teal'c's hushed words.
"I see him."
Sam pushed past Jonas and the two Tok'ra to stand at Teal'c's side. What she saw ripped her heart from her chest and threw it against the wall.
He was leaning against the wall; his face bloodied, his top missing, his pants torn. His hair was matted, both on his head and on his face. His beard had grown rather long and all Sam could think was that she had to get to him. As she continued forward, she heard his grating voice and she stalled.
"He's talking to someone," she hissed and pulled her P-90 closer to her body, her trained finger pressed firmly against the trigger.
Teal'c passed her again and paused only a few feet away from the entrance to the room.
"Indeed you are correct Major Carter, he does appear to be talking," he confirmed as the rest walked up behind him. "However, there does not seem to be an answering voice, though O'Neill is speaking: both asking questions and answering them."
This caused Sam's heart to sink.
"He's clearly delusional," she let her mouth make the words that her ears didn't want to hear.
"I believe, again, Major Carter, that you are correct."
Teal'c moved away and entered the room and Sam quickly followed.
"Hey, T." She heard as she slid into the room behind Teal'c. "Long time no see. How've ya been?"
"We are here to rescue you O'Neill."
Sam rolled her eyes; Teal'c was forever stating the obvious and making it sound so clichéd.
"I know. I heard that you were coming." His voice was hoarse, the way it would be if he had the cold or a parched throat.
Sam took it to be the latter and stepped out from behind Teal'c. When she did, she stopped and stared at the man who was staring back at her.
His eyes were wide, his face expressionless. His cheeks looked bruised, his nose definitely broken. She could cry. His eyes clouded over for a moment then he glanced away.
"Carter…" he said quietly not looking at her as she moved closer to him and uncapped the drink container at her side and held it out for him to take. When he lifted his hands she noticed they were bound with thick cords. She pulled her knife from her belt and began sawing at it careful not to touch his hands or wrists.
She could feel his breath at her ear, ruffling the hairs at the side of her head and she could only imagine the longing look on his face. After a few minutes, she had cut the ropes and leaned back on her heels.
She offered him the canister again and he took it swallowing greedily then handed it back to her. When she reached out to take it, he cupped a hand around hers and looked deep into her eyes.
"Thank you," he whispered and she knew he was thanking her for more than just the water. She stared at him for a moment longer than pulled her hands away.
"We have to get you out of here," Jonas stated as he came over with a clean shirt.
"Thank you," Jack replied as he took it form him.
As he stood up Sam noticed that he had scars covering his chest and back, and when he tried to lift his arm up to put it through the sleeve he winced and dropped it back down.
Quickly, she moved over to him.
"Here, let me help." She moved over to him and slid his arm into the sleeve, holding onto his biceps and then doing the same with the left arm.
"How did you know we were coming?" Jonas asked the question that Sam had forgotten to ask, too shocked to think beyond helping him.
There was a quiet pause then he looked up and shook his head.
"I just knew," he finally replied and glanced fleetingly at Sam.
Sam looked at Jonas who stared back at her with a sceptical look on his face. "Jonas, go tell the Tok'ra to get the ship ready, we'll be there in thirty." Jonas left and Sam turned back to Jack, whose eyebrows were raised in question. "The Tok'ra told us we could find you here. They're waiting for us outside, there's a ship on the surface of the planet about a twenty minute walk from here, think you can make it?" Sam informed him and asked the question hoping that he would say yes.
"Sure, I don't see why not."
Sam noticed that he was far too perky for someone who had lived through weeks of torture and beatings and she shared a look with Teal'c. Things had gone too smoothly. However, on closer inspection – she was standing supporting his weight on her left side as he looked about the room – she could see the pinched lines of pain on his forehead that showed that merely standing was a chore. And she could not forget the delusional state they had heard from in the corridor, which seemed quickly revoked as they entered.
"Teal'c, support him, I'm going to take point."
Sam dropped her arm from around his waist and walked away and she could feel his confusion and sense his eyes watching her back, which burned as well as her eyes. She had done this to him. She was the reason he was trying to be so strong but failing miserably. She was the reason that he was there in the first place. She was the one that made him promise to bring her dad back, no matter what. She hated herself.
There had been no other indication that he had missed her, other than him clasping her hands and thanking her, but that was it. She felt so ashamed. Did he blame her too?
All she knew was that she had to get him back to the SGC and to Janet so she could fix him up.
She was going to give him back to Angela. She was going to him back to the one person that she hated on Earth.
She didn't like Angela, not at all. There was something about her that caused her skin to crawl and her blood run chill in her veins.
"What you thinking about, Carter?" Jack interrupted her thoughts and she turned to him, tears running down her face and she made no attempt to hide them.
"Giving you back."
I need to know if you were real
'Cause I've been known to get it wrong
When the memory comes
I'll say I'm always in the dark
You got me now
I want to give you back
I want to give you back
Somewhere out of here
I want to give you
I want to give you
I want to give you back
I can't remember how it went
You looked like everything I wanted
And as you came along
Slowly everything began to change
I got you now
That's enough
Just talking about it
I don't mind
I don't mind no I
Laugh enough
Just dreaming about it
I need to know if you were real
I'd hate to think that I'd been fooled again
And as the vision fades
I'll say I was blinded by your eyes
I felt them burn
TBC – The truth behind Angela will finally come out…