Damon POV:

"Hello!" It was May.

"May? What are you doing here?" Stefan asked, incredulous. Damon smirked. His brother hadn't been home the other time May had come to visit. Apparently, his brilliant "babysitters" hadn't told him.

"I'm here to visit my ex, of course!" May replied.

"What now, May?" Asked Damon. At this point, he was done with her games. He just wanted to be able to wear his leather jacket again.

"Just seeing what all the fuss is about. Damon's sucking his thumb!" She laughed. Then, she pulled out something shiny; there was a flash. Damon realized it was a camera. She'd taken a picture of him!

"Hey! Delete that!" He shouted. It was bad enough that they had all seen, but May would probably post it on the internet. Damon didn't have one, but he'd heard all about Facebook.

"Oh, relax. Remember our deal? We're friends. But, if you really want me to, I'll delete it." She pressed a few buttons on the camera. Damon watched as the picture blew up on the screen. He laughed. Why were explosions suddenly funny?

"Alright, then. If you're all okay, Elena and I should get going. Have fun!" Stefan took Elena and left. Damon heard the car start, then nothing. He was stuck.

"Come on, we're going to McDonald's." Jackie announced.

"What? The disgusting fast-food place? Why are we going there?" Damon asked. He didn't want to eat that stuff. He'd heard rumors about the food there. People said they made the chicken nuggets from mentally retarded chickens!

"It's really not that bad! I've eaten there before. Don't believe everything you hear, Damon." May argued. She picked him up and headed in the direction of the car. Damon sighed. Would the lifting never end? He couldn't wait to be himself again. Then, he could lift them.

May put him in the car seat (Stefan had left it behind), then walked to the passenger's side. Jackie came out and got into the car. Once they were on the road, May began to give Jackie directions. Damon sulked. He was bored and he wasn't hungry. He had just eaten! Why were they taking him to get more food? The car stopped. They had arrived.

Jackie came around the car to help Damon out. She picked him up and walked into the restaurant. As soon as they were inside, Damon's nose was assaulted with strange smells. They were good smells, mostly, but strange. Then, he spotted it. A large jungle gym was located in the back of the restaurant. Damon looked at it longingly. Jackie, following his gaze, looked at him, then put him down.

"Go play. You just ate. May and I will have some lunch." At this, Damon walked toward the jungle gym. Like other things, he wasn't sure why he was so eager to play on a jungle gym. He just was.

Removing his shoes, he climbed onto the first platform. It was difficult with his sore muscles, but he managed. Suddenly, he felt a tap on the shoulder.

"Hi! My name is Katy. What's your name?" A little girl was standing behind him. Damon frowned. He did not know this girl and she seemed irksome.

"I'm Damon…" He replied, unsure of what to say. Suddenly, it dawned on him. This little girl thought he was just another little boy to play with. He couldn't let her know that he was actually an intelligent being. Oh, this was going to be hell.

"My mommy's over there. Where's your mommy? Do you wanna play?" Damon was confused. Why was she asking so many questions? He flinched every time she said "mommy". He didn't have a "mommy".

"I don't have a mommy. And, no, I don't wanna play." He replied. The girl was getting on his nerves. He noticed Jackie and May watching him from a table. The little girl began to cry. Immediately, a mousy young woman came over to comfort her, giving Damon a dirty look. May, seeing that there was a problem, came quickly. She pulled Damon aside.

"What are you doing?" She asked angrily.

"I don't know. She was bothering me so I said I didn't wanna play…" Damon replied. What was with little kids and crying? It wasn't his fault. The girl had just spontaneously burst into tears!

"Ugh, you can't tell little kids that! Just be nice and play with her. We'll only be here for about another half hour. And don't blow your cover!"

"What cover? It's not as if I'm some secret agent on a mission! This was your fault!"

"That may be true, but you'll be fine soon. Tomorrow if you please me."

"Really?! Yes! Oh, thank god!" This pleased him. Okay, he would play with the annoying girl because, tomorrow, he would be normal again.

"Yes, but only if you're going to be nice to that little girl. Besides, what else are you going to do?" Damon saw the sense in this and wandered back over. It hit him that he should apologize. Damon Salvatore never apologized. Knowing this, May came over and apologized for him. Damon smiled. She knew him too well.

"Wanna play now?" Annoying Katy asked.

"Fine." Damon sighed. He let her lead him through the maze of platforms until they reached a slide.

"Okay. Now you sit and I'll sit on top of you and we can slide down together!" She told him. Damon blinked at her. She wanted to sit on him…

"Can't we just go down by ourselves?" He asked. The girl wasn't even good looking! She was, like, four!

"No! I need to sit on you."

"Why?"

"Because." And, with that, she sat on his lap. Damon was confused. No one just sat on him! What was up with this girl? He sighed. Jackie and May would have a field day with this.

He slid down the slide. They went slowly and Damon was disappointed. It probably would have been much more fun without a small girl on his lap. He looked over at Jackie and May, hoping they hadn't been watching. Of course, they had. May was slapping the table, laughing. Damon frowned. It wasn't his fault! The girl had sat on him! He was only so big… What was he supposed to do? If he pushed her off, she would cry again. Suddenly, Damon realized he was completely in this young girl's power. He almost cried himself.

"Let's play house!" Katy said enthusiastically.

"What? What's that?" Damon asked. House, the doctor show? That would be fun. Damon could be House and insult Katy. Yes, he would like that.

"We live in a house. I'll be the mommy and you'll be the daddy!" Katy told him. Damon cringed. This was exactly what he'd been hoping to avoid. Maybe, if he suggested a different game…

"How about cops and robbers?"

"No! That game is stupid. We're playing house or I'm going to tell on you." Damon laughed. She was going to tell on him. How scary. Then, he thought about it. If she told May, there might be problems. May had said he would be better tomorrow, but what if she changed her mind? Damon wasn't going to do anything to cause that. He sighed.

"Fine. What do I do?" He asked glumly. He really didn't want to play a stupid game like house. God, he had to pretend to be married to this girl! It's just pretend…

"Hold my hand. Now we can go into the house!" Katy said. Damon took her hand, wincing. Oh, how this would look to someone on the outside. Katy led him under one of the platforms. It was slightly darker than the rest of the jungle gym. He supposed this was the "house".

"We sit here and pretend." Katy said. How does one "pretend"? Damon, evidently, was going to find out because Katy was speaking again.

"Darling, how was work today?" She asked. Damon had no idea what to say. Maybe he could corrupt their house…

"Oh, I quit my job. It wasn't working out for me. I think you might need to take a job now, darling." His voice was dripping with sarcasm, but the child didn't understand. She seemed to think he was seriously calling her "darling". She leaned in closer to him. Damon's eyes widened. What do I do? She's gonna kiss me! That's like rape! Then, she did. Just a small peck on the lips, but Damon went into panic mode. His cheeks grew hot and his eyes began to water. He scrunched up his face, trying not to cry. Soon after, he realized he couldn't hold it in any longer. He wailed. Immediately, Jackie rushed over.

"Damon? What's wrong?" He just pointed at Katy and wept.

"I have no idea what that means? You have to talk to me…" She said.

"She, hic, kissed, hic…" He couldn't bear to say it. Jackie laughed.

"She kissed you? Looks like you're a stud with the kids, too, Damon!" He stopped crying and glared at her, then at Katy.

"Stop, hic, laughing! It's not, hic, funny!" He yelled. He put his thumb in his mouth and sucked angrily. That is, until he realized he was doing it. Then, he got angrier and pulled it back out.

"Okay, relax. May and I just finished. I was about to come get you. We're leaving." She gathered him in her arms and walked back towards May. Damon rubbed at his eyes furiously, trying to rid them of tear-stains.

"Aw, what happened? Did ickle Damon fall down and go boom?" May asked, laughing. Damon glared, furious. He realized he was losing control…fast. He couldn't hold in his tears, he couldn't stop sucking his thumb. What was happening?!

"No, a little girl kissed him and he freaked out. No offense, Damon, but that just made my day!" Jackie replied.

"That's nawt vewy nice!" Damon yelled, then clapped his hand over his mouth. What just happened? He tried something else.

"The wain in Spain-" He put his hand back over his mouth, horrified. He couldn't even talk!

"Aw! He can't pronounce his 'r's!" Jackie squealed. Then, she realized the seriousness of the situation. "We need to get you home and see what else is wrong…" May simply stood in the background, giggling. Damon didn't understand what was funny. He was losing it.

AN: Poor Damon! But, he'll be better soon. And, what's with May?

Thanks, DarkFayry 0612 for the great idea!