Special thanks to Miss Bliss03 for giving me this awesome idea! You rock, along with the others who support me!
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, although I do own The Host. It was twenty five dollars at Dymocks.
TDIB: Well hi again! Yes, as you can see, the glass wall is still there, and no, the tomatoes and eggs are not making a comeback until further notice –grumbles from the fans-. Now onto our next guest today, whose brain is made of per cent work, 19 per cent Emily, and 1 per cent disciplining the pack. Please welcome: Serious Sam!
-Fans go hysterical and wave 'Sam and Emily 4ever' as Sam walks on stage only in khaki shorts-
TDIB: -mutters to herself- Maybe I should have less shirtless guys on next time…
SS: -mumbles to himself- This better be good. Quil is on watch today and I need to make sure that he is not being distracted by Claire and miss something…
TDIB: Hello Sam! Take a seat!
SS: No thanks. I need to be alert for any suspicious activity around Forks and La Push. You never know, there might be another Victoria, Laurent, or a police officer with a gun trying to shoot you down.
TDIB: Don't worry; I'm sure it's okay. Besides, I'm confident the pack and the Cullens -swooning from the audience- could handle it without you for five minutes.
SS: Yeah well, it's still best to be on the lookout anyway.
TDIB: -shrugs- Fine then. So anyway, as the leader of the werewolf pack, why are you so dedicated to your job, considering the fact that you don't actually want to be a werewolf?
SS: Well, since Paul got anger management issues, Quil and Jared only think about their imprints, and the rest of them are trying to prank each other, I believe that I should be the one asserting discipline into the pack, whether they like it or not.
TDIB: -nods- Uh huh. But don't you ever stop to think that you might be a teeny bit too involved in your work? Don't you make time to spend with your imprint Emily?
SS: Yeah, about five minutes per day, an-
-Splash-
SS: -Yelling- WHAT THE –beep- IS THAT?! AND WHY AM I DRIPPING WET?!
TDIB: -picks up a piece of wet rubber and holds it up- I think that might be the answer. –Crinkles nose- Ew, you stink like a wet dog…Oh wait, never mind…
-Embry and Quil both walk on stage laughing in nothing but shorts-
Fan girls: -sighs and claws at face- Pleasure overload, pleasure overload…
Embry: -grinning- That was AWESOME, Quil! The water bomb hit the back of his head!
Quil: -high fives Embry- Thanks al-
SS: -points at the two guys- YOU –beep-ING BASTARDS!! WHAT THE –beep- WAS THAT FOR?!
Embry: Awww come on boss, we just want to have a little fun!
Quil: Yeah Captain! Can't you take a joke? You got to admit, that was a great aim! Besides, it was Embry who threw it!
Embry: WHAT?! LIAR! IT WAS QUIL, I SWEAR IT WAS QUIL!
SS: ENOUGH! Quil, aren't you suppose to be on your watch?
Quil: -shuffling- Uh, yeah chief, but Jacob replaced me so I can do this…RUN, EMBRY, RUN!!
-The two guys runs off stage as SS starts chasing them-
TDIB: …Now, what did I say about not completing my interviews…
Whew! One chapter down, several more to go! Keep the ideas coming, people, if you want the story to keep going!
Next guest -cough- casualty -cough-: Paul!