Title: Feels like Tonight

Author: D Sollers

Subjet: Season 5 BL fic- Minor spoilers. "I always saw us in Tree hill. We had a big house and an even bigger family and nothing else would matter because we'd be together."

Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with OTH. Thank God :-) And sadly, "Feels like Tonight," is a song off of Chris Daughtry's album. So I don't own that either.

Author's Notes: Umm, in case anyone was wondering this is a BL fic. There is Leyton involved, as well as Lucas/Lindsay but for the most part this is a BL fic. The flashbacks are BL and there will be BL in the present just as soon as I am ready. This will be a 20 Chapter story so we are more than half way done with it. There will be a few more flashbacks although the majority of the story will be placed in their present day (2011). After much thought, I decided not to include any more Naley than necessary because honestly, I don't want to take away from writing the BL. And! As many of my stories go, I always try to include Jake because I love him so. Jake is not in this story. Mainly because Peyton has never and will NEVER deserve him. ALSO! I know that Lindsay was supposed to have dyed her hair blonde (Peyton blonde) because of her insecurities. But I am not doing that because I kind of like my version of Lindsay, she's upset and scared and she has a right to be. Mark could have handled this triangle (even the LLP one) a hell of a lot better than what he has planned. So this is me... liking Lindsay. Not liking Lindsay & Lucas but simply liking Lindsay.

BPDavis: I agree with you! Brooke is selfless in this just as she is on the show. I don't mind Peyton normally but I think her carelessness with Brooke's heart and now what seems to be Lindsay's (ie: don't marry her lucas from the spoilers) is uncalled for. Regardless of the "love" she feels for Lucas, it's not her place to tell him that. It's dumb and childish and something that Brooke would never do. I really wanted to like Lindsay on OTH, when I read about her I mean. I thought quite possibly, Mark would have a new character that I could like. Having her threatened doesn't make her a bad character but having her dye her hair is flat out dumb. I really like the "friendship" I've established between Lindsay and Brooke because in reality, Brooke knows how Lindsay feels better than anyone.

Chapter Eleven

Like we Never loved at all

Tree Hill, 2011

"Hey Hales," Brooke said as she walked into Haley's living room. The girl smiled at her friend and moved over so that Haley could join her on the coach.

"Do you need any help?" Brooke asked, glancing down at the spiral notepad in her hands.

Haley shook her head no and looked up from the list. "I don't know how to plan this," Haley admitted with a laugh. "This is you're thing."

"Yeah but I don't think Peyton would appreciate it," Brooke laughed. With a nod of her head, Brooke knew that Haley agreed with her. Brooke looked down at the guest list that her friend had been coming up with and she sighed. "I always pictured we'd be planning Lucas and Peyton's party."

Haley shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know I always thought that Nathan and I would be planning yours," Haley said as she turned towards her friend and smiled. "How are you doing?"

"I'm good mostly," Brooke admitted. "It's just... My biggest fear was that Peyton and Lucas were meant to be together and now that he's marrying Lindsay, I can't help but think... Was I wrong? Maybe they weren't meant to be together this whole time."

Haley leaned her head against her friends shoulder. "Can I tell you something?" Haley asked quietly. Brooke nodded her head and she smiled slightly.

"Remember in senior year? Where Lucas and I made the list of things we would accomplish?"

"Yeah," Brooke smiled.

Haley looked down at the notepad and laughed. "One of mine was that Lucas wouldn't give up on you," she explained. "The thing is you and Lucas are a lot like Nathan and me, so I always thought you two would work things out."

Brooke laughed at her friend and shrugged her shoulders. "Lucas and I are nothing like the two of you! You got married in high school, you've got a kid..."

"You were so much like Nathan in high school, it was only natural that my best friend fell in love with you too."

Brooke sighed, knowing that there was nothing she could say to argue with Haley. "Yeah but now here we are planning Lindsay and his party," Brooke reminded her friend. "You want to know something that makes this all worse?"

"What?"

Brooke smile fell. "I really like Lindsay," she whispered. "She's smart and beautiful and she seems to really love Lucas."

"She does," Haley agreed.

Brooke shrugged her shoulders and thought about the last words Peyton had said to her, explaining how she was going to fight for Lucas' affection.

"And she has no idea what she's getting into."

Tree Hill, 2006

"There are eighty two letters in here and they are all addressed to you," Brooke explained as she handed Lucas the box filled with her deepest feelings. She smiled. "I wrote them all this summer, one a day but I never sent them because I was afraid."

Lucas looked down at the box in his hands and back at the girl who he was trying to forget. "Brooke..." He said quietly.

"I was afraid of getting my heart broken again like before..." She shrugged her shoulders. "Cause you hurt me so bad. I was afraid to be vulnerable and I was afraid of you and the way you make me feel."

Brooke looked up from the box and he saw the tears in her eyes. "I know that it doesn't matter now after what I did but I just thought that you should know," she cried. "This is how I spent my summer Luke, wanting you. I was just too scared to admit it."

She turned to walk away and he called out to her. "Brooke," he yelled as he walked down the steps and onto the sidewalk. "I'm sorry," he said as he threw his hands up in defeat. "What you did with Chris, it's okay."

Brooke shook her head, visibly upset by his words. "It's not," she whispered. "It can't be, it's too much to forgive."

"That's too bad," Lucas said staring down at her. "Because I forgive you."

Brooke shook her head again and cried. "You can't."

"I just did and you're just going to have to deal with it."

He smiled at her as she struggled with what to say. "I'm the guy for you Brooke Davis and I know that I..."

"I love you," Brooke said as she cut him off.

Lucas nodded his head.

"I love you too, pretty girl."

Tree Hill, 2011

"What are these?"

Lindsay threw a box down onto Lucas' bed and crossed her arms over her chest. Lucas looked up from his book and glanced at the box in front of him. Even without glancing inside the box, he knew what they were. Brooke's letters were something that he had never been able to part with, not even when he had been dating Peyton.

"Those were written a long time ago," Lucas explained as he placed the book down on the night stand. She looked down at him, her eyes piercing his with demands that he wasn't sure he could meet.

Lindsay picked the box up and glanced inside. "There's like a hundred in here," she said in exasperation.

"82," Lucas whispered.

Lindsay ran her hand over the envelopes, the same loopy handwriting across all of the white envelopes. "What?" She asked, annoyed that he didn't understand why she was so upset.

"There's 82 letters in there," he explained. Lindsay shot him a dirty look and he grabbed a hold of her hand, pulling her towards him. "Brooke wrote one letter a day during our summer vacation, they're all from her."

Lindsay nodded her head, tears entering her eyes as she dropped the box onto the bed. She didn't know what she wanted more, to burn the letters that Lucas had kept for so long or to read them, to understand the connection that he and Brooke had shared.

"I can tell you that because it was years ago Linds," Lucas said with a laugh. "Brooke hasn't been in love with me in a really long time."

She glanced towards the gift that Brooke had stopped by, one that neither Lucas or Lindsay had bothered to open. "Are you sure?" She asked turning towards her fiancee. "Because honestly, I think she still does."

"Aren't you the same person that's convinced Peyton is after me too?"

Lucas laughed as he got off his bed, walking towards the gift and handing it to her. He bent down so that he was eye level with her and he pushed her to open the gift. She pulled apart the tissue paper and glanced down at the beautiful sterling silver picture frame.

Beginning of Always.

Lindsay ran her fingers over the engraved words and smiled slightly. "Brooke is amazing," Lindsay laughed as she handed the frame to Lucas. Even as he read the words, he couldn't quite believe them.

"Yeah," Lucas said as he held the frame. "Amazing," he whispered.

Tree Hill, 2011

Peyton crossed the room and stood in the doorway to Brooke's closet. "Are you seriously going to this thing?" Peyton said as she put her hand on her hip. Brooke looked up from the pile of shoes that she was going through and stared at her friend who was in sweats even though the engagement party was in less than an hour.

"Yeah," Brooke sighed. She grabbed a hold of the black heels and stood up. "And I think you should too," she said as she slipped them on. "How do I look?"

Brooke twirled around and smiled at her friend, who was not impressed. Brooke rolled her eyes and pushed past her friend, angry at how immature her friend was acting. "You know this kind of reminds me of prom, without psycho Derek I mean."

"How do you figure?" Peyton asked, crossing her arms over her chest as she leaned against the door.

Brooke shrugged her shoulders as she grabbed a hold of her purse. "You're going to regret not coming, maybe not today and probably not tomorrow but years from now...You're going to regret not being there."

"He's going to regret marrying her," Peyton added.

Brooke sighed. "The only way to find out is if you actually show up." When she saw that her friend was not budging, Brooke nodded her head sadly. She walked towards Peyton and kissed her friend on the cheek. "I'll see you tonight," she said before she walked out of the bedroom.

"Later."

Tree Hill, 2006

"Oh it's beautiful," Brooke said as the two walked into the reception room. "Thank you for bringing me." She ran her finger over the ice sculpture and smiled at Lucas.

He nodded his head. "You're welcome."

"So, how are things with Felix?"

Brooke shrugged her shoulders. "Good, great. He helped me with my campaign and he threw me a party," she explained.

"So you guys are good?" He asked.

Brooke nodded her head. "I don't know. He's been really sweet but lately I've just been feeling... Independent." She laughed. "Amazingly, I don't even know if I want a boyfriend right now."

He smiled at her. "I guess we're both finding a new way for ourselves, huh?"

She tilted her head to the side. "I guess we are."

Tree Hill, 2011

Brooke made her way through Nathan and Haley's house until she arrived at the sliding glass doors. Her mind drifted to Peyton as she looked outside at the party that had just started. The place looked beautiful, Haley had done an amazing job on such short notice.

"Are you going to step outside?"

His voice sent chills through her but she didn't look up at him only nodded her head. "Yeah, I was just thinking what a shame it was. Such a pretty girl," Brooke laughed.

"And here, I thought that was you..."

Brooke turned around to face him and he smiled down at her. "I'm glad you came." He brought her into a brief hug before pulling away. "I guess Peyton decided not to come."

"It's hitting Peyton a little different," Brooke explained.

Lucas nodded his head as the smile fell from his face. "Where's your date?" He asked, trying to change the subject. He knew that whatever chance of working things out with Brooke was gone, just as he knew that Peyton didn't want him to go through with a wedding to Lindsay because she was still in love with him. "I heard Haley say she invited Owen."

"Owen's just a friend," Brooke explained.

Lucas had heard those words before and although it seemed like ages ago, he remembered it as if it was yesterday. "I'm happy for you Lucas," Brooke said as looked up at him. He turned to face her and she smiled. "Finding someone that you can spend forever with, that's what we all wish for."

I'll guess we'll just have to wait and see.

"I'm going to go and say hello to Mouth," Brooke finished saying as she opened the sliding glass door and walked outside. Lucas stared out after her and shook his head.

"I'm doing the right thing," Lucas said out loud to himself.

He repeated it again this time his words seemed more of a question than a statement. "Second thoughts?" Peyton said as she walked towards him.

Lucas turned around in shock. "Peyton," he mumbled.

She was wearing a red dress, he took note that it looked a lot like the one she had worn to Haley and Nathan's wedding. "You showed," he smiled at her.

"Lucas, I love you..."

Four simple words that changed everything.

Lucas stood stunned, as the sliding glass door opened and both Mouth and Brooke stood. It wasn't until a champagne glass hit the floor that Lucas realized that Lindsay was in the room, also.

"What's going on?" Lindsay questioned, as she turned towards Lucas. "I don't understand Lucas..."

Lucas didn't look up from Peyton as he struggled with what she had just said. "What did you say?" He questioned, not caring who was in the room.

"I said I love you and if there's a chance that you love me too, then you can't marry Lindsay."

Mouth groaned, turning from Peyton to Lindsay who looked as if she had seen a ghost. "What is she thinking?" Mouth asked as he looked at Brooke.

"Lucas!" Lindsay said, angry that he had yet to say anything. "I can't believe this is happening." She walked towards Lucas and grabbed a hold of his hand.

"Get her out of here Lucas or I will."

Brooke stopped herself from laughing as she pushed past Lucas and went to Peyton. "Come on Peyt, lets just go home..." She offered. She sent a sympathetic smile towards both Lindsay and Lucas and then turned her attention back to Peyton. "It's over Peyt."

"No, not until Lucas says."

Her eyes never left his and he knew he had to say something. The whole thing had gone on far longer than he had wanted but he turned his attention towards Lindsay. "Can I have a minute alone with Peyton?" He asked quietly.

"Unbelievable," she said as she threw her hands up in the air and headed out of the living room and towards the front door. Brooke looked at Lucas and followed after Lindsay, a move that surprised both Peyton and Lucas.

When Brooke walked outside, she expected to see Lindsay getting into a car but found her sitting on the porch swing. "This seat taken?" Brooke asked with a small smile on her lips. Lindsay didn't say anything as she patted the seat beside her.

"What was I thinking?" Lindsay asked bitterly. She didn't look at Brooke as she continued. "I read the book! I mean I was his editor for God's sake and I'm surprised?"

Brooke didn't know what to say. She knew what it was like to come in second best for Lucas' heart and she remembered the pain she felt everyday for letting him go. "Lucas wouldn't have asked you to marry him if he didn't love you. He's not that guy."

"I wanted to slap her," Lindsay admitted.

Brooke laughed quietly as she nodded her head. "It feels good, when you're in that moment. For one split second you're able to make her feel an ounce of what you're feeling. But once that moments gone... it just makes you feel worse."

"But it would feel good."

Lindsay smiled at Brooke and leaned her head against the swing. "How did you do it?" Lindsay asked as she turned towards Brooke. "I mean even after everything Lucas put you through the first time, you still took a chance on him again. Why?"

Brooke remembered all the empty promises Lucas had made to her, all the ones that he had broken. She sighed as she thought of Peyton and the betrayal that had almost caused their friendship to be over.

"I loved him, in my heart I thought that it was enough."

Her words hit home for Lindsay and even though she didn't say anything, Brooke knew she understood. "Do you want to go back inside?" Brooke asked, motioning to the door.

"I'm going to stay here for a while."

Brooke nodded her head as she leaned against the swing. "I'm going to stay too," she whispered quietly. The two stared out into Nathan and Haley's front yard, both trying to understand the new found bond between them.

Tree Hill, 2011

"We should talk," Lucas said finally.

Peyton nodded her head as she smiled up at him, hoping that she wasn't too late and that the two of them could work things out. He glanced outside the window at Nathan and Haley who were playing with James and he smiled slightly.

"Looks like Nathan's finally come around.

Peyton watched Nathan's smile grow as the little boy danced with his mother. "They really love each other," Peyton smiled. Lucas didn't say anything as he watched the young family, surrounded by friends and relatives but were focused solely on each other.

"Listen Peyton, I've got to find Lindsay."

Peyton nodded her head as she turned to face Lucas. "I never meant to hurt anyone," Peyton admitted. "You know that, I just don't want you to make a mistake.

"Neither do I," he whispered.

Peyton went to reach for her hand but Lucas stepped away. "I'll stop by Brooke's tonight, okay? After I talk to Lindsay." Peyton nodded her head as she watched Nathan and Haley begin to walk towards them.

"I'll see you tonight."

She was hopeful, for the first time in years. Perhaps a chance with Lucas wasn't so far out of grasp. Haley opened the sliding glass door and smiled at Peyton. "Hey, I'm glad you decided to come!" She said as she leaned over to give Peyton a hug.

Peyton shook her head as she backed away, sending a small smile to Lucas. "I actually have to go but give my love to James."

Haley and Lucas watched as Peyton left the living room, heading towards the front door. "What was that about?" Haley asked as she turned to face her brother in law.

"You don't want to know."

TBC...

Okay so what are you guys thinking? Let me know. Up next is the repercussions of Peyton's confession between Luke/Linds, Peyton/Luke and Brooke/Peyton