11. Warm Hands, Cold Feet
"Bella are you suuure you're not just enjoying this a little bit?" I teased as I peeked into the bathroom to see Alice rummaging through a make-up bag to add more product to Bella's features. She narrowed her eyes at me through the reflection in the mirror, "You know, I think I'm just about finished so it can be your turn!" She smirked and then grabbed something off the desk. It didn't take me long to see what she was holding up- Alice's evil eyelash device. I smacked it out of her hand in pure instinct. "Hey hey hey! I'm trying to work here!" Alice interrupted, her voice slightly muffled from a bobby pin hanging slightly from her mouth. "That's enough, Alice, I want to go back to La Push." Bella begged, her mood quickly disintegrating again. "Jacob's still unconscious," Alice answered. "Carlisle or Edward will call when he's awake. Anyway, you need to go see Charlie. He was there at Billy's house, he saw that Carlisle and Edward are back in from their trip, and he's bound to be suspicious when you get home." Bella rubbed her temples in frustration.
"Is Seth doing better?" I cautiously asked. Alice perked up "Awake and almost fully recovered, just like Jacob will be in a few days," she said while squeezing Bella's shoulders. Bella was looking down at her hands but it almost appeared like she was pouting.
"C'mon Purple! It's time to test out this vampire diabetus shot!" Emmett yelled for the whole house to hear, laughing at his own joke. I grumbled and slowly made my way into Carlisle's office where Emmett and Jasper were still laughing and joking at my expense.
Since we had realized that venom was the answer to keeping my health levels up, the new running joke was that I had vampire diabetes. My own body couldn't make enough venom to sustain itself so Carlisle came up with the idea to make vials of venom from family members and turn them into shots for me to take weekly, or at least periodically- we wouldn't know how frequent the schedule would be until Carlisle could do more trial and error tests. I didn't really think about the extraction process of the venom for too long, it grossed me out too much to think that, in a way, it was my family members spit in those vials. Or maybe they extracted it like you would the venom from a snake- I really had no idea.
Carlisle had created the first shot in the middle of the night the day we came back from the battle we had with Victoria's newborns. Carlisle was mostly in and out of the house, helping Jacob Black recover as well as monitor Seth. No one else had gotten injured that day, thankfully.
"I thought we were gonna wait for Carlisle to come home before we tried it?" I asked, leaning on the door frame. They just smiled and crossed their arms. Before I could say anything else, I heard the rumble of a nearby car and a garage door opening outside. I sighed and held out my arms wrist side up. "The lab rat is ready. Shackle me up so I don't escape," I half heartedly joked. I really didn't enjoy these tests whatsoever. The constant attention to my abnormal state just made me feel uncomfortable. "Oh come now, today won't be so bad," Carlisle said, suddenly behind me with his hand on my back. "Yeah, Purple, it'll be fine. If you explode in a newborn rage Jasper and I will be right here to save your ass again," Emmett smirked. Jasper sent a wave of calm my way, still stepping on eggshells around me since the training night incident. Even with the rush of relaxation, I stuck my tongue out at them both.
I made my way to the hospital bed Carlisle set up in here for our routine check-ups and hopped on the step, plopping my butt on the very edge of the bed to make a point that I didn't want to be here for too long. "Okay, let me just write down your vitals before we give you the injection," Carlisle said while opening his briefcase and grabbing his regular tools. He started with my blood pressure and heartbeat and continued to work around me while I just sat and followed his instructions.
"Penny for your thoughts?" Jasper said after a few minutes went by of extreme silence. I realized I had drifted deep into my head, just reliving the last few days. Still trying to grasp at everything that had occurred. "You and Emmett are just gonna tease me," I mumbled, a little more pouty than I meant to appear. Emmett raised his right hand, "I'm on my best behavior." I couldn't help but smirk and roll my eyes. He smiled back and winked.
"Well, honestly, I was kinda thinking that… well since we still don't have any information about me, and you already call me purple," I raised my hand motioning towards Emmett but then looked down at my knees, suddenly shy. "I was thinking that we could call me Violet? Or at least just tell people that's what my name is until we find a better one or something…" I drifted off to a mumble.
Carlisle took his knuckle and raised my chin so I was looking him in the eyes. "I think Violet is perfect." I smiled and lovingly pushed his hand away. "Absolutely," Jasper added. Small beads of tears formed in the corners of my eyes and I quickly blinked them away. "I still have permission to call you purple though, right?" Emmett joked and I laughed deep from my belly, like a weight was lifted from my shoulders.
Suddenly Rose, Alice, and Esme were at the doorway walking in. "We heard the celebration!" Alice chimed, almost skipping as she walked to give me a hug. We were all smiling from ear to ear when I noticed someone was missing. "Where did Bella go?" I asked. "She just left to go play up the facade with Charlie. I'm sure she's headed to the reservation soon after though." If Alice had any negative feelings about the situation, she was great at masking them. I pursed my lips, thinking about asking another question but I held my tongue. It was none of my concern how I felt about Bella's ridiculous love triangle with Edward and Jacob Black.
"Okay," Carlisle breathed deep, removing any wires and equipment that measured my vitals electronically. "Ready for the injection?" He asked. I just nodded, not really knowing what else to do. He got up and flew to his desk, grabbing one of the vials from a small cooler that read 'BIOHAZARD'. He flew back to my side and had a needle steadily ready in his hand.
"Now we don't know what kind of side effects this will have, if any, so you must be very vocal about anything you're feeling." He instructed, I nodded again. He carefully grabbed my left arm and inserted the needle in the protruding vein inside my elbow. Slowly pushing the plastic until it was empty.
Burning. The same toxic acid feeling inside my blood as the night of my attack. The feeling took my breath away, hurting worse than it had on the mountainside or in the clearing before the members of the Volturi made their appearance.
I found myself holding my breath, eyes shut, for what felt like minutes, just rolling by. I could feel the poison traveling up my arm, into my chest, down my other arm, into my stomach, thighs, legs… I wanted to start running, no, bolting, just to pathetically try and run from this pain, though I knew it would do nothing. I dug my fingernails into my palms, being able to do nothing else physically to control my sudden rush of antsy.
After what felt like forever, I could release my breath and inhale. Every one of my senses were heightened like I had just been reborn again. Smell, sight, touch, taste, sound...
I opened my eyes and looked up into the faces of my wary family members.
"How do you feel?" Rosalie asked, calmly.
I took a deep breath again as the burning was slowly subsiding and I found myself smiling.
"Thirsty."
I looked up at the full moon and found myself feeling extremely cliche and vulnerable. It was still partly cloudy and giving off a slight mist in the air, the usual Washington weather, but I didn't mind it. I just tightened my hood and breathed in the humid forest scent.
I don't know what possessed me to leave home and start walking this way but it just felt like it had been so long since I'd seen him. Carlisle and Alice had given me updates in the beginning but after the first few days, there really wasn't much more to update on. Seth had healed much faster than Jacob since his injuries weren't as harsh and Carlisle was only given permission to give his doctoral expertise for a brief period- due to the treaty.
I had worded questions in a non-suspicious way enough to figure out where the border of the treaty line was and I just couldn't get it out of my head. I found myself walking out the front door and just following the road. Carlisle was at work for the night shift, Edward was with Bella, Alice has been nose-deep in wedding planning ever since Bella gave her full reign a few weeks ago, and everyone else just didn't mind I guess...They always vocalized that my staying with them should be a choice. That I shouldn't feel trapped to be a Cullen. I could leave whenever I wanted. But when I thought about where else I would go- I just couldn't imagine being alone. If I thought of Europe, Alice was right there next to me showing the best shops and hidden paradises. If I thought of Africa, Emmett and Rose were hunting by my side, racing and laughing in the heat.
Suddenly I felt guilty for leaving, hoping that they wouldn't get the wrong impression. Surely Alice would've seen my intentions...but maybe not because I was hoping to see Seth on my small adventure.
I was only a few more minutes from the treaty line when the slight buzzing of a motorcycle was in the distance, headed into La Push. I could tell that they were going way faster than any speed limit allowed. Were they a resident of the reservation or just a ballsy tourist driving through, I wondered.
I just stared at the bright light as the buzzing increased until soon it was a roar, and just as quickly- the bike was suddenly flying past me. It was my own fault for walking almost in the center of the road but when the motorcycle passed, a rush of wind kicked back and released the all familiar scent. Werewolf.
But not the wolf that I was hoping for.
The bike's brakes suddenly glowed red and they skidded to a halt but due to their speed, stopped about thirty yards in front of me. The driver didn't hesitate to turn around quickly and drive up next to me, almost running over my feet-but I didn't move. I was frozen, already anticipating his reaction.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" Jacob Black spat at me. My blood started to boil. "Do you know how close you are to the line?" He added. The boil came to a halt. For the first time with him, I was at a loss for words. His first remark sparked a fire in my belly but then after looking around I realized that I was dangerously close to the treaty border. I could see the large pine tree maybe 50 feet away that marked the imaginary line. "I-I'm sorry, I was gonna stop sooner." I managed to choke out, kicking myself for not paying closer attention. I was shocked at myself. I could've destroyed everything my family worked for.
"Whatever, dude, what do you want?" Jacob, still furious, asked.
I didn't even know how to word it. What was I even thinking, showing up here unannounced. I suddenly felt ashamed and small. "I'm...sorry, I'll just-" I pointed in the opposite direction of La Push and turned my heels to leave.
"Jake?" Someone yelled, another man. I shoved my hands in my pockets and clutched the cell phone Alice gave me, debating if I should call someone to pick me up or not. I could try and just run but I didn't want to risk it if the sudden guest was a normal resident of the reservation.
"Oh, perfect timing. Your vampire decided to show up in the middle of the night." Jacob sneered. I quickened my pace. "Hey! Wait up!" The second man shouted. I suddenly recognized his voice- Seth. I didn't stop but I did manage to tell my feet to slow down.
Jacob's motorcycle revved a few times before gliding off and Seth was jogging to catch up to me. "I know you heard me," he said, smiling from ear to ear. I suddenly had a lump in my throat, feeling like an unwelcomed guest trudging through someone's front yard.
"Hey, whoa, what's wrong?" Genuinely concerned, he grabbed my arm to stop me from walking any further. I released a breath I didn't know I was holding in and lowered my hood, making him let go of my arm. "Seth, I'm so sorry, I didn't know that I was so close to the line and Jacob is just a fucking jerk and- god why am I such an idiot- I just wanted to see you and I didn't know how else to do it and," I was downright just rambling at this point, borderline hyperventilating and looking anywhere but his eyes, knowing then I would really lose it.
He grabbed my arms again and suddenly we were in an airtight hug. It was the closest I'd been to him in his human form. The last time we were this close were those bone-chilling days on the mountain side, the warmth from his wolf state probably being the reason I survived the night.
"I'm just so glad you're okay," I mumbled, breathing in his scent. I held back a shiver as memories flooded of Riley and Victoria, planning all of our deaths.
"Glad that I'm okay? I'm so glad that you're okay! I was supposed to be the one protecting you, I should be the one apologizing." He laughed and moved his right arm from my back to my head, still wrapped around me. I slowly moved my arms to coil around him as well, placing my hands in the small of his back. He must've been over six feet tall as he easily engulfed my 5'3" frame.
"How did you do it?" He asked, pushing off me to look me in the eye. I didn't want to move my hands.
"You were so sick before." His eyebrows started to scrunch, studying my reaction. I hesitantly pushed back even further so our arms were no longer touching and ran my fingers through my hair to try and clear my head. I didn't know how much I could, or should, tell him. "We know you're different from the others," he added with a smirk while I was still struggling for words. We, meaning the pack and others meaning my family...or just other vampires in general. I wondered how they felt about us all now, after working together.
"It's too weird. You'll make fun of me," I finally spoke, biting my lip.
"Awe c'mon, you gotta give me more credit than that!" He jokingly punched my arm, lightly, but the gesture almost made me cringe. Like I was just his sporting buddy he was trying to get gossip from. "Ya know, I witnessed a lot of smells those two days on the mountain. Lots of puke- I mean you were spitting chunks- and I never made fun of you once." I stared at him mortified and humiliated. I'm sure that if it had been daylight my face would be pink from the sudden mood change. I clamped my mouth shut and quickly turned on my heels to face the road leading south, whipping my hair with more effect than I had intended.
"Bye," I said through gritted teeth and started walking home again. What the hell was wrong with these Quileute guys?
"Shit, okay, not funny-" he had no trouble keeping up with my pace. He tried to grab my arm again but I pulled free quickly and kept walking. He knew better than to try and grab me again.
"I almost died." I spat at him, trying to make the words sting. I heard him wince next to me, trying to come up with his next sentence carefully. Perhaps I was being dramatic but I had seen Carlisle's papers of the details of my condition.
"I know, I'm sorry. I shouldn't make light of a situation I don't know anything about." Seth sounded genuinely apologetic but I stayed silent and continued walking. His quick apology took me by surprise and made me feel remorseful about getting so worked up. It was hard to be too mad at him for long, since he really was in the dark about my body's sci-fi novel-esque state and he had been such a big help during the newborn chaos.
I wondered if eventually he would stop following but he continued to just walk along with me, matching my stride. I looked at him from the corner of my eye and noticed he was looking into the forest, deep in his own thoughts. Feeling my stare, he looked back at me and held my gaze.
I was still silently annoyed but managed to take a deep breath and force a smile. "You really wanna hear my horror story?" His expression instantly perked up, knowing he had been forgiven. "I don't get scared easily," he smiled and his teeth gleamed even in the dark of the road.
"Will your boyfriends miss you?" I teased, pointing back to the reservation that was quickly shrinking behind us. "Nah, I told them I needed a break. I could use a breath of fresh air." He leaned in close to my ear and breathed deep. A laugh escaped deep from my belly while I clutched my ear and returned a playful punch to his own arm but not quite as soft as he had earlier. It was hard to pretend I was still annoyed.
"Well where should I start?" I asked, feeling surprisingly open. He pursed his lips and thought for a second but it didn't take him long to reply. "Well I still don't even know your name." He said almost matter of factly, and slightly raised his left eyebrow. I bit my lip again, startled by the sudden butterflies in my chest, as I mentally prepared myself to relive and unleash all of my secrets to this shapeshifter- who was quite literally created to destroy my kind. Yet when I looked in his kind eyes, I felt no sign of fear or threat whatsoever...just compassion…and something stronger…
The scariest realization hitting me then, that the butterflies I felt in my chest weren't due to the anxiety of speaking up-but because of the man I was speaking to.
And I stupidly told him everything.