Author's Note: Someone asked me that if Naruto starts liking Sasuke back is this an indication that he's gay? Here's my response: of course it is! He's in love, so why shouldn't he be trilled and overjoyed? j/k. j/k. I couldn't resist the pun!
Here's my real answer: Naruto's mind has taken on a more feminine persona, as you may have noticed by his sudden interest in kittens and teddy bears. Eventually he will find himself no longer attracted to females. However, prior to this, I would have made him quite fond of a certain stoic avenger. I just thought I would compensate the yaoi-lovers out there, considering I've already made Sasuke straight. So in conclusion: Naruto is gay!

To the question concerning Naruto's looks: YES, Naruto is very, very beautiful and as for the question asking if Naruto will get his 'thingymajiggy' back // I won't answer that. You'll have to read and find out!!!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

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Chapter 9: Not a Bad Deal

Sasuke would never forget the next couple of hours following that abrasive declaration. Naruto had refused to listen to his comforting words, had cried and yelled and, yes, had even bitten him when he tried to drag him out of the washroom.

Then several nurses had arrived and Sasuke had to explain away his girlfriend's distress, attributing it to severe premenstrual symptoms (PMS). Naruto had slapped him for that and cried all the harder, which only served to convince the nurses of Sasuke's claim. They had attempted to sedate Naruto after that, but in the end it had taken all the nurses on their floor and several security guards to pin the blonde down and give him the necessary injection. In other words, it had been pure hell.

Sasuke groaned softly into his hands before he slowly sat down. Naruto had managed to kick him before the drug had worked its magic, and now his stomach was throbbing painfully.

Who would have thought that someone initially so weak could become so strong simply after realizing he'd lost his 'manhood'? Then again, it must have been a traumatizing experience for the poor moron. That was something every ninja had the right to fume over.

Extending his hand to the baka's face, Sasuke brushed away a stray hair.

"You idiot," he mused thoughtfully. "Why couldn't you have seen it in a positive light? A penis in exchange for a set of breast isn't such a bad deal, is it?"

Sasuke could only be thankful that Naruto was asleep. Somehow he didn't think the fool would have appreciated the humor behind that advice.

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Naruto woke up with a severe headache and the lingering memories of an insanely odd dream. He had dreamt of being surrounded and straddled by dozens of creatures draped in white coats. One of them had jabbed a sharp needle into his arm and immediately his entire body had gone slack. Then Sasuke's floating face with its familiar leer had emerged shortly after, taunting him for being so weak. The dream had ended with him sinking a foot deep into Sasuke's abdomen and the dark-haired boy doubling over in pain.

Now that Naruto thought about it, it wasn't such a bad dream. At least he had managed to get rid of that hateful smirk Sasuke was always sporting. Speaking of the asshole, where was he? Wait a minute? Why should he even care whether the jerk was here or not?

Just then the door of his bedroom opened, revealing a pink-haired gennin cradling a water jug in her hands. Sakura smiled when she saw that Naruto was awake.

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Meanwhile at the Hokage's house (What is his place called? I really don't want to refer to it as the Hokage's house all the time), the leader of the Hidden Leaf Village was having an equally difficult time trying to absorb the news the silver-haired jounin had just dropped on his lap. So it seemed that the obnoxious, loud-mouthed, trouble-making brat, Naruto, had turned into a girl. And if that weren't bad enough, the threat of the demon fox was also resurfacing, obviously as a result of this very change.

The Hokage sighed and placed his hands thoughtfully under his chin. Konoha would never be the same again. At the very least he would never be the same again. There was no denying that he was terribly vulnerable when it came to Naruto's Sexy No Jutsu. And it hadn't helped his ego one bit to hear that Naruto hadn't just transform into any ordinary girl // he just had to be a very attractive one at that.

Looking down at his spotless floor the Hokage wondered how long its cleanliness would last. He could already envision blood splattering on its shiny surface, blood that, no doubt, would come spewing from his nose. Finally drawing himself away from his musing, the Hokage looked up and stared at the standing man by his side.

"Bring Naruto to me," he said in length with some difficulty. "We must handle this matter as quickly and quietly as possible."

Kakashi nodded and bowed before he vanished. The Hokage stared yearningly at his clean floor one last time before he rose wearily to his feet and went to retrieve some cotton swabs. Something told him he would be needing them soon.

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Sakura could see the question dancing in Naruto's eyes before he even opened his mouth. She sighed and sat down beside his bedside. How she dreaded this moment. But it was inevitable. She knew the blonde would question her. He may not be the brightest ninja, but he wasn't a complete moron. He must have suspected something by now.

Sakura poured Naruto a cup of water, fluffed his pillow and even smoothed down the wrinkles on his blanket. She did everything imaginable to delay her execution as long as possible. An impatient Naruto finally halted her when she reached out to fluff his pillow for the third consecutive time.

"Sakura // " he began.

Sakura swallowed heavily and resumed her seat. She did not speak, knowing that Naruto would voice his question soon.

"Sakura // what // do you know what happened to me?"

Sakura bit her lips. Oh how she wanted to play the role of the innocent in front of his eyes as she did before Kakashi and Sasuke. But she knew she couldn't. Naruto had suffered as a result of her selfishness and would continue to suffer for the rest of his life, now a boy forever trapped in the body of a girl. She owed him too much to be denying him this. He deserved to know the truth.

"It was // it was my fault, Naruto."

Naruto appeared confused and began to shake his head. Sakura cringed in pain. Naruto, innocent, kind-hearted Naruto had and was always the only fool to believe the best and only the best of her. How could he be so naïve?

"I did this to you," she finally whispered. "I didn't mean to, but I did."

Naruto frowned and began to pat her hand comfortingly, his action speaking volumes. Sakura found it difficult to see, her vision blurred by tears. The baka was comforting her, as he always did whenever she was upset or hurt, as if it were second nature to him. And she, in response, had always found his presence a nuisance, his obnoxious but sincere effort to please her annoying.

"Don't do this!" she cried, suddenly disgusted with herself. "Don't make me hate myself even more than I already do!"

Naruto opened his mouth to speak, but clamped it shut when Sakura raised a tear-streaked face to him. With the utmost gentleness, Naruto wiped at her smeared cheeks with the sleeve of his gown, once again his action speaking volumes. Sakura released a choked sob and lowered her head in defeat.

"Sakura-chan," Naruto said softly, "Don't cry. I don't need to know anymore. It's okay. I'm okay. You needn't worry. I forgive you."

Sakura could not suppress a little wail as she threw herself into Naruto's arms and hugged him. She was so grateful for his unconditional forgiveness, so happy to live with only her own self-condemning thoughts and not his as well. I promise, Naruto, I'll make it up to you // somehow.

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Sasuke made his way slowly to the hospital. The thought of spending another tantrum-filled evening with Naruto left a sour taste in his mouth, but he knew he had to go. The baka needed him and Sakura was probably dying to get him off her hands.

Tonight, however, he wasn't going to let Naruto get the better of him. The idiot was getting his medicine the very second Sasuke arrived. There was absolutely no way in hell he was going to endure another kick to the stomach. He still had yet to recover from the last one Naruto gave him.

Thinking this he walked lazily into the hospital and climbed the stairs to Naruto's floor. Once in front of Naruto's door, he braced himself before entering the room, only to find it empty. A sense of panic welled up within him and Sasuke had to support himself against the doorframe. (Aawww!!! See, see! I told you he cares!!!)

Halting a passing nurse he questioned her on Naruto's whereabouts. Relief flooded his entire body when he heard that a silver-haired jounin had arrived earlier that evening and taken the patient away. Sasuke quickly demanded if a pink-haired girl had left with them. The nurse replied: no, the jounin had ordered her home.

Hearing this, Sasuke found his relief transcending into fear. Naruto alone with that perverted sensei? The thought left an even sourer taste in his mouth. He had to find them and find them quick.

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Some has also requested that I add a Kakashi-Neji-Sasuke rivalry over the to-be-much-adored Naruto. Initially, I planned to have Kakashi in the love triangle because he's such a perv and would give great comic relief. I also planned to have the entire male population (this includes the young, the old, the feeble and, yes, even the criminally insane) trailing behind Naruto like love-sick puppies, because // well, simply because I'm the author and can do so. (~_*) But, if you guys really want to see some serious courtship rivalry going on, I'm sure I can make room for it somewhere in the mad scheme of things.

Serious Note: I may feel like posting again in a few days, but the odds of this happening is slim and none, not to mention that slim's away on Holidays. (~_*) Hope you guys have the patience to wait out my hectic schedule. Until then, take care and floss daily!