First things first, Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer and only Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story.

Now buckle up because its going to be a bumpy ride.

Chapter 11

A Mile High With No Place To Go But Down

BPOV

When I woke up in the morning the first thing Alice warned me of was that she would be changing her seating assignment on the plane back home.

Her reason?

She had predicted that Edward and I would be spewing "rainbow fairytale goo" with our eyes and wanted nothing to do with it.

I couldn't help but laugh at her, though I knew deep down she was actually very concerned and I was secretly thankful that she wouldn't be giving us her pity looks during our five-hour flight. She hadn't even asked me about my night with Edward. That was a huge red flag. Alice always asked questions.

It was obvious that she was preparing me for reality, my "RL", and I was more than ready to build another wall; only this time it would be around the right person and not the people who cared about me.

I was going to make my future about me now. Edward had given me the confidence to do just that, but I knew Alice still had her doubts on whether or not I would actually be able to follow through. She seemed genuinely thrilled to see me happy for the most part, but her silence this morning was louder than her words had been during most of the week. It was her own way of reminding me that something would be waiting for me back home.

Something that could ultimately knock me on my ass again.

I gave myself no other choice but to ignore those silent warnings. I wanted to live in the moment and be happy by merely feeling again, I wasn't ready to let the darkness back in. Not when I still had a few hours left in my fairy tale.

My last night with Edward had come and gone too soon and in a few short hours I would be forced to face it all, regardless of whether or not I was ready.

I knew there was something different about Edward. He somehow always knew what I was thinking or simply feeling. It was almost as if he could see right through my charade and into my soul.

I wasn't sure how it was possible but in six days he had learned my every compensation for dealing with a broken self and in some ways that scared the hell out of me.

I had become accustomed to being the complicated girl that no one got so they would just move on. That girl wasn't me, but I'd gotten used to her and her quirky avoidance behaviors. However, in less than a week, Edward made me hate that girl and crave the return of my former self.

I didn't want to be the broken girl anymore. It was time for the old Bella to come back. The Bella that would laugh in your face if you had the nerve to say hello to her at a club without a proper introduction. The witty girl that had made a subtle appearance a few nights ago on the subway.

My thoughts were sadly interrupted with a single text from the very person who had caused me to loose myself in the first place.

Bells, babe… I'm home. I'm sort of freaking out. Where's all my stuff? -Jake

Shit. I'd completely forgotten.

When Jacob had left I'd decided, during one of my drunken rages, to take everything of his that was in our bedroom and throw it all into a box. I had tossed it into the storage closet by the front door, out of sight out of mind. I didn't want any reminders and that seemed like the easiest way to get rid of them. Our bedroom was sacred, and to have those things staring back at me every night was the worst kind of torture.

I didn't think you would get home before me. I moved it to a box in the closet by the door where we keep the camping stuff. -B

I sighed after hitting the send button and continued brushing my hair as I sat on the edge of my bed, staring out the window and wishing I hadn't made such a mindless mistake. This would just bring on more questions and I didn't want to think about him until it was absolutely necessary.

Does that mean something..? -J

And so it began.

It means that I couldn't stand seeing your shit all over our bedroom. I'll see you in a few hours. I don't want to talk about this now. -B

I was not in the mood. Not when Edward would be here any minute to take me with him so that we could say goodbye to Bree.

My phone buzzed beside me again and if I hadn't been waiting for my stalker to let me know he was here I would have avoided looking at it all together.

I know it's not mutual, but I can't wait to see you Bells. -J

I groaned and fell back on the bed, above and beyond annoyed now. Fuck him.

Edward would be here any minute and I would be able to forget the entire texting incident. All I needed were those lips and gorgeous eyes. I could live off of that for the rest of my life. I was almost sure of it.

The next text I got was much more satisfying and once again, goose bumps appeared on my arms as I read it.

I'm here beautiful. Come grace me with your presence. -Stalker

Like that, everything unpleasant that had thrown itself in my face was quickly trampled and I felt alive again. My stalker was here. He was the best and only medicine for the current mood that had been brought on by my miserable past.

After a long day, we had finally gotten back to the hotel to pick up Alice. We had spent the morning and early afternoon with Bree saying goodbye; an unbelievably emotional departure.

I'd done a little bit of research during my free time away from Edward and everything I'd read about on Autism had told me that Bree was not your typical child diagnosed with the disorder. She seemed to fully connect the fact that we were leaving today and it took both Jane and Tanya to pull her off of Edward when it was time for us to go. It had been an upsetting goodbye to say the least. I could still see the heart break in his eyes.

"Are you ready to get back to the city?" he asked as we sat by the pool, me laying against his chest on a lounge chair, with his arms wrapped around me tightly.

I smiled at his mind-reading gift and let out a sigh, sinking deeper into him.

"No. Not really," I told him bluntly, pulling his arms around me tighter.

I wanted to believe I was ready, but something told me I wasn't. Part of me felt strong enough to face what was coming while the other part feared for her life.

"Can I ask you something?" he questioned after a few minutes of silence, sounding slightly serious.

"Of course. Anything."

I knew what was coming. He had promised we wouldn't have to talk about it last night, but that was last night and today was today. Today was our awful tomorrow, the one we had both been dreading, but I knew he could ask me anything in the world and I would answer him with the truth.

"What will happen once we get home?" he asked worriedly.

I looked up and gazed at him, unsure of how to respond.

How could I answer a question I didn't know the answer to?

"I mean, I know you've got a lot of loose ends and I don't want to get in the way of anything, but… I want you to know that I don't want to go away. I hope I made that perfectly clear last night," he finished delicately, yet still very serious.

"I don't want you to. Not ever," I replied instantly, meaning every word.

"And what exactly does that mean?" he asked pushing my hair back behind my ears gently.

I could feel myself begin to panic, thinking about what was coming next. I pinched my arm to keep myself from releasing any tears, a trick I had picked up for hiding emotions, feelings, and my lack of control. I smiled when Edward's hands suddenly appeared to remove mine from my arm, tenderly holding them in my lap now.

I knew the conversation would eventually arise, I just didn't know what to say. I had thought about it for hours after getting home from our date, but nothing I'd rehearsed sounded right now.

He needed to know that things would change but that those changes wouldn't last forever. I needed to make him feel comfortable about the situation we were going into, even if I wasn't.

"I want to see us through," I assured him while squeezing his hands, hoping he didn't hear the quiver in my voice.

"But?" he asked, seemingly sensing my tone.

He knew me so well already. There was no pretending with him. No hiding. He somehow just knew. If I hadn't been having a minor panic attack I would have grinned at him.

I took my time to come up with the best way to answer the both of us.

I hadn't given myself the chance to really think things through, not in a reasonable way… truthfully, every time I thought of Jacob returning to my life I would panic, so any thoughts that involved him were usually ended just as quickly as they would start.

The time I had spent with Edward was unlike anything I could've expected. A few days with him felt like months. I would've been lying if I said my situation didn't do a complete turn around after meeting him. After he showed me we genuinely did have a bizarre connection. The thought of letting that go was unbearable, but at the same time I couldn't help but wonder if those feelings would remain once I saw Jacob and I hated myself for that.

Reality really was a bitch.

I didn't want to sugar coat things for Edward. He deserved to know the truth and I knew he would do the same for me so I continued, "But things aren't settled yet. There are a few things I need to take care of once I get back. I want you to know that. This is going to be a huge shock for a lot of people," I tried to explain delicately.

"And by people you mean Jacob," he stated more than asked, looking both disappointed and annoyed.

I was surprised that he remembered his name since I'd only ever mentioned it once in passing.

"Yes. Mostly him," I finally answered after taking another deep breath. I had already promised myself that when it came to the dramatic mess that was currently my life, I was going to be honest with Edward at all costs.

"But you do want to be with me?" he asked, sounding so vulnerable it hurt me.

I didn't need to think about his question. I already knew the answer to that. It was the only thing I had allowed myself to think about as I laid in bed the past couple of nights.

"I do," I replied quietly, hoping he believed that I was telling the truth.

"Ok. That's all I needed to hear," he finished, kissing the top of my head lovingly; a simple gesture, immensely sweet and innocent, yet so personal, full of passion and warmth. I realized in that moment that he was my only hope for the future and tomorrow was already looking just as bright as the last six days had been.

Over the last two days Jacob had suddenly become very persistent; texting me at least three times a day, giving me random updates on the tour and their whereabouts, a few emails, even calling Alice on several occasions. Up until this morning I never responded, figuring it was better that way, and Alice never answered her phone for anyone except Jasper or her agent.

It still baffled me that he had the nerve to even try. I didn't hear from him for weeks when it was I who was trying to reach out to him.

I wasn't about to give into his lame attempts to re-enter my life. Not at this stage of the game. I thought ignoring him would be difficult but it seemed much easier than I had originally feared.

Taking Jacob out of my thoughts had made falling for Edward that much simpler.

At the beginning of the week I had found comfort in telling myself that he'd had his fun and so I deserved to have mine, but my fun had turned out to be so much more than just… fun.

I had somehow managed to loose myself entirely to a man I'd know for less than a week. If someone had told me seven days ago that I would meet a handsome stranger on the subway and end up traveling the across the country with him, spending every day with him, only to find myself absolutely absorbed in less that a week by him… I would have asked them what they were smoking.

I didn't know why I was still lying to myself but I certainly was.

The butterflies in my stomach were alive again. Not dead. I could breathe without the feelings of being pulled under water, but when I got back to everything… When Jacob was standing in front of me, holding his hand out to me… would I still feel the same? I couldn't imagine that I wouldn't. When I looked at Edward it was like nothing else in the world mattered. I needed to be with him. I belonged with him.

As if noticing my discomfort, Edward gently took a hold of my face in his hands and kissed me, sending my body into a minor shock, and making my heart race once more.

His lips… his touch… they sparked and awakened something strange inside of me. Something no one had ever come close to doing.

Not even Jacob. Not ever. So why was I still even questioning things?

Never in my life had I felt so exhilarated. Never had I wanted someone so badly. And never had I ever experienced such a god-like orgasm. Edward Cullen was undoubtedly a god in my eyes for doing all of those things.

I smiled against his lips, realizing that maybe things wouldn't be as hard as I'd thought. Maybe it could be just as easy as the last six days had been. I was hopeful again and ready to get everything out of the way. Ready to set my life back in order.

"I'm going to go check on Alice. We're going to miss our plane if she doesn't hurry her ass up," I said just above a whisper, not really wanting to leave his arms.

"Would that be such a bad thing? Missing our plane, I mean," he toyed making me smile and sink deeper into his arms. God, I wished we were still on that blanket surrounded by candles.

After another few seconds of listening to his breathing against my ear, I felt him loosen his grasp from around me as he kissed my neck gently before helping me up out of his lap, where his obvious hard on saluted me.

"Edward Cullen, put that thing away or we will definitely miss our plane," I teased back before blowing him a kiss and hurrying off to find my best friend.

I found myself daydreaming about last night as I rode the elevator up to our floor, my face turning an embarrassing shade of red while I remembered what it was like to have his hands explore every inch of my body underneath the stars. I licked my lips remembering the taste of him on my mouth and suddenly wanted to rush back down stairs, pull him into a cabana by the pool and show him just how much I enjoyed savoring every drop of him just a few hours ago.

The lust filled thoughts that he brought on were another thing I was still getting used to dealing with when it came to my stalker.

"What in the world is taking you so long woman? We need to go," I told Alice when I walked into the room, finding her jumping up and down on one of her suitcases. Frustration so evident on her face it made me giggle.

"Bella, I bought too many clothes!" she whined.

"I have room in my bag here, give me a few things," I told her rolling my eyes and quickly unzipping my one lonely suitcase that was only half way full as it was. She looked beyond relieved and I was happy to make my friend relax a little. She seemed just as stressed about today as I was.

"What the hell happened to your dress?" she blurted out after seeing my torn outfit from last night folded on top of the rest of my clothes… button-less.

Crap. Detective Alice is back.

"Um… I… we… you see…"

"Bella Swan! I wasn't going to ask because I didn't think there was a chance, but did you sleep with Edward last night?" she squealed while jumping up and pulling me over to the bed to sit with her.

"No, Alice. I mean… no we didn't actually have sex."

"In Bill Clinton terms or…? What are you saying Swan?" she asked looking as though I had just told her I was pregnant with triplets.

"What did you expect after giving me those panties to wear?" I asked her, feeling slightly embarrassed that she didn't think I had it in me.

"So you… he didn't… what the hell? Details woman, enough with this cryptic shit!"

I was grinning, thinking about it all over again made me want to scream from the roof tops that I had experienced the most tantalizing orgasm of my life. I settled on telling her just that.

"I had the most amazing orgasm of my life. The end," I told her bluntly with a huge smirk on my face as I stood back up to put her things into my suitcase.

We really didn't have time for the conversation, as entertaining as it was.

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I quickly took it out to see if it would be from the only person who mattered to me now.

I was thankful when it was.

It's normal for me to be sitting here tapping my foot in anticipation for you to get back to me right? Dammit woman, how am I going to survive being away from you for days?- E

I smiled and bit my lip innocently just as my friend whacked me with a pillow across the head.

"I can't believe this. What kind of orgasm? No intercourse? Just fingers or mouth?"

"Both," I replied grinning again while I ducked from the next pillow she sent back my way.

"Oh, God. And it was that amazing? I mean, I had a feeling he would be good, something about him screams bedroom dream finger bang."

"We weren't in a bedroom, we were outside… at a park… with lots of candles."

I slowly looked up, seeing her mouth drop open and laughing as she begged me for more details.

I filled her in, telling her about the fence jumping, the talk on the bench, the talk on the blanket, the peacock feather Edward had given me, and ended it by telling her that no man had ever given me more satisfaction with his hands and tongue, just before whispering that I had repaid the favor in full.

She looked like she needed a cold shower when I was finished and I couldn't help but feel slightly proud of myself. I really was alive again and it felt unbelievably amazing.

"Well at least you got to taste the berry before going home. Now you'll know what your options are. Just imagine what he's like in bed if he's that good with everything else," she concluded.

"It's more than that Alice. Edward makes me feel…"

"Yeah, yeah, happy I know. We've had this conversation before. I can't believe you went down on him in a public place, though. Where has this Bella been hiding?" She teased and I shrugged my shoulders just as my phone buzzed again.

No, seriously. I need you back in my arms. Do you think Alice would mind driving the car to the airport? -E

I laughed and felt my cheeks burn as I replied to his question without even asking Alice.

She doesn't know it yet but she will. I'll be back where I belong in five long minutes. -B

"Come on short stuff. Let's go. Oh, and since I agreed to harbor your new clothes in my suitcase you get to drive us to the airport," I informed her as I lifted my bag up off the ground to toss onto the luggage dolly with the rest of hers.

She didn't argue and I was thankful. When I did look at her though that sad concerned look was back on her face, and that I was not happy about.

"Please, Alice. I need you to be supportive. Tell me I'm justified in being happy. That it's ok that I am going home happier than I've ever been in my entire adult life," I found myself begging her.

"Hun, you are. You know I love you. I'm trying to stay positive. Really, I am. I just know you and Jake too well. I know this isn't going to be easy for you. Why don't you stay with me and Jazz tonight?" she suggested, obviously worried that I would fall right back into bed with my ex.

"Thanks, but I'm a big girl. I can handle it. If it does get bad I will, but I need to try and face this," I told her just before she pulled me into a tight hug after firmly kissing me on the cheek.

"I love you Bells. I know you can do this. Alright, let's get you back to your orgasm king," she finished, while guiding me out of the room.

The first hour of the plane ride was quiet and I almost wished Alice hadn't given up her seat next to us because at least then I could have used her as a conversation starter. At the moment I felt like child waiting to go home to be scolded by their parents for getting into trouble at summer camp.

Edward sat next to me brushing my arm with his finger in slow circular motions. Occasionally playing connect the dots with the few freckles that lined my forearm.

"Bella… how is this going to work? Can I call you? Text you?" he finally asked after about an hour and a half into the flight, looking more concerned than he had before.

I took hold of his hand instantly, trying to sooth him. Not wanting him to worry.

"Of course you can," I whispered looking into his emerald green eyes. I couldn't begin to imagine what it would be like not to see him for more than twenty-four hours, let alone not hear from him at all.

The little time on the plane had given me the chance to think. To really look at the situation and force myself to come up with a plan before getting to the apartment. I was sure things with Jacob wouldn't and couldn't just go back to normal. We were way too damaged; I was way too damaged because of him. What he'd done to me… to us…it wasn't something I could forget.

I'd be able to forgive him someday, but never forget.

And Edward… he had not only helped me realize that things were over with Jake, but also showed me what something real, something serious and extraordinary, could feel like. What we could be. There was no more doubt in my mind of what I wanted, and I couldn't believe it had taken me all that time to come to a final conclusion.

"I'm going to tell Jacob about us as soon as I can," I told him deliberately, "he deserves to know."

"I don't think he deserves anything, but I'm glad you feel sure enough about us that you want to tell him," Edward replied with a slight smirk.

I owed Jacob the truth. He'd at least had the decency to end things with us before he left. Sure, he had been a jackass for it, but he was honest with me.

He needed to know what was going on, even if it meant telling him there wasn't any possibility for us to pick things up. Not after everything that had taken place in his absence.

I knew Jacob. I knew that if he thought there was a chance, that there was nothing standing in the way, he wouldn't give up. When he felt passionate about something he didn't quit. Failure wasn't a word in his vocabulary. It only meant he needed to try harder and make it his goal, his main mission, until he succeeded. That was one of the things that made me fall for him in the first place. His determination.

"Here. Bree wanted me to give you this," Edward said suddenly, breaking my train of thought and taking his hand from my arm to get something from his bag under the seats in front of us.

I looked down at the pink piece of construction paper he handed me and couldn't hold back the huge grin that appeared on my face.

On it were three poorly drawn stick people holding hands by a swing and I knew before Edward had to tell me that the larger one was him, the little one in the middle was Bree and the one on the end myself. All with big smiles on our faces. So big that they actually extended off the wobbly circles that made up our heads.

"She wanted me to ask you to come back. She promises to push you on the swing next time," he said smirking at me while squeezing the back of my neck gently.

"Make sure you tell her I can't wait," I whispered, turning to give him a quick kiss to let him know I meant it.

That quick kiss turned into something much more passionate though. It was as if the flood gates had been released and we both realized that soon we would be back to reality. Back where it all started but where things would now be so very different.

He pulled me into him and began caressing my face, his lips massaged my own. I whimpered and let my own hands find their way into his hair, not caring that we were in public, and on a very full plane. All that mattered was that I was kissing this beautiful man and that he had told me he wanted me on more than one occasion over the last six days.

His hand moved to my thigh as I moaned into his mouth, causing his own mouth to start moving more eagerly as our tongues collided.

"Bella," he whispered into my ear after pulling away from my lips briskly. You couldn't miss the passion in his voice and I could already feel my pink cotton underwear moisten at the sound of it as his hand traced the side of my face gently. "How would you feel about taking this some place more, private?" he asked still whispering, his words sending good bumps down my body again.

Was he… suggesting we…?

"What are you thinking Stalker?" I asked grinning as the realization hit me.

"I'll meet you in the back bathroom, the one to the left, in five minutes." he said softly while his fingers fell down the center of my dress longingly.

Holy shit.

Did I really have it in me? I would have to pass by Alice and she would surly notice. I would never hear the end of it. Fuck it. I quickly nodded my head yes and took his lips into mine once more, letting him know that I meant it.

And God help me if he didn't slap my ass as I stood up from my seat to go wait for him in the back of the plane. I prayed that Alice would be sleeping with her head phones on but, of course, I would never be so lucky.

I'm not sure what came over me but I winked at her. She looked slightly confused but went back to turning the pages of her fashion magazine, unaware of what she would witness next walking down the isle past her.

I couldn't help but grin wider as I reached out for the door and opened it up in order to wait for Edward to join me. Not the most romantic venue but we would make it work.

I impulsively practiced sitting on the little counter space while I waited eagerly, smiling to myself as I looked into the mirror. The reflection looking back at me was truly one of a changed girl and I loved everything about the smirk on her face.

There was a quiet knock on the door and I slowly pushed it open, feeling my heart begin to speed up instantly. I was already breathing heavy at the anticipation of being in his arms again without watchful eyes.

He grinned, locked the door behind him and stepped closer to me in a predator-like manner.

"Did Alice see you?" I asked trying not to laugh.

He smiled and nodded his head yes as his hand made its way into my hair, massaging gently while he pulled my body into his with his free arm.

"I don't know if I told you already, but you look fucking sexy in that dress."

"Oh, is that so? Would you say I look, maybe, fucking edible?" I asked wickedly, unsure of what had come over me.

His eyes flashed suddenly and I could feel just how wild my words had driven him as he took my hips into his hands to swiftly lift me up onto the sink, just as I had practiced.

He swiftly spread my legs so that I could feel his hard cock against my panties while he whispered in my ear that I couldn't scream as loud as I had last night, but that we weren't leaving the bathroom until he heard me say his name at least two times.

I moaned at his words as he began kissing my neck softly yet hungrily, my hands latched on to his beautiful hair and pulling him in deeper against me. I wanted to feel every part of him but he seemed to have other plans as his lips made their way down my neck and his hands made their way up my legs from under my dress.

"I was so glad you wore a dress today, Bella," he growled, his right hand fervently grasping my breast from the outside of my dress and massaging gently before he began unfastening the buttons at the center.

"Were you? So this was something you'd already planned?" I teased just before letting out a gasp from his fingers tracing the outside of my so very damp plain looking panties. Nothing too sexy today. Way to go Swan.

"Don't you know by now that I think about making you scream my name in just about every situation we find ourselves in, every place you can imagine? I have big plans for us, baby," he warned, sending another moan through my lips as his index finger made its way to my already swollen clit.

"Fuck, I want you inside me so bad," I groaned, feeling his other hand as it began pulling the bottom of my dress up around my waist while his mouth bit my neck gently.

"All in due time, baby. Our first time together will not be in an airplane bathroom, but for now I'm going to do other things in order to make sure you remember me and our fuckhot moments."

"You've already solidified your existence in my brain after last night's performance, but please do," I said breathlessly as I slowly moved his head away from my neck so that I could look him in the eyes.

"It's nice to hear you say that," he grinned sinfully just before kneeling down in front of me, his eyes staring at my virgin-like cotton underwear.

"Should I admit that it makes me happy to see you wearing these when you know you're going home to him?" he teased making me roll my eyes.

"I had no idea you were going to need an in-flight snack, Stalker."

And with that that he swiftly pulled the underwear from my legs and stuffed them into his back pocket while tracing my lady parts with his fingertips mere inches from his face.

"Fuck, Bella you have the most beautiful pussy I've ever seen. And the taste," he growled just before licking his lips to lean in and take me into his mouth.

"Delicious," he moaned against me before brushing his tongue up and down once more, sending a loud growl through my clenched teeth.

He stopped and looked up at me smiling as my hands held him firmly in place by his hair.

"You need to keep it down if I'm going to continue, baby," he warned with a wicked smirk. I smiled back and nodded my head obediently before forcing his face back between my legs. He began licking and sucking, nibbling with his teeth in all the right places while slowing down every once in awhile to grin up at me like a little kid on Christmas morning.

And fuck! The things it did to me to watch him as he worked. It was the most erotic experience and I quickly felt everything coming undone. My eyes suddenly closed and I wasn't sure I'd be able to stay quiet.

"Oh fuck, fuck, Edward!" I moaned, trying to keep it down but it seeming impossible, "Shit Edward. I'm going to cum, please don't stop!" I yelped, biting down on my own finger as he began pumping his fingers inside me beside his magical tongue, brushing in and out, and then making tiny swirls with his tongue between my throbbing lips as I felt my body arch against the mirror above the sink.

He continued licking vigorously as I came like I never had before. Something about knowing there were strangers a few feet away from us making it all the more thrilling. I didn't think it possible but he had just outdone himself from last nights performance and I found myself moaning his name over and over again as he slowed down, slowly pulling away to lean himself on the wall across from me looking more than satisfied with himself.

"I think that's something I'd like to do everyday for the rest of my life. Taste you and feel you like that," he told me diabolically as his eyes continued to gaze at my exposed vag that was still in full display in front of him.

"I think you'll make me a very happy woman if that's the case, Stalker," I told him while slowly bringing my legs together and rubbing my tingling pussy with my hand in total ecstasy wishing we could do it all over again.

I needed more of him… It was my turn to hear my name leave his lips.

"Batters up," I teased as I let myself slide off the counter, instantly falling to my knees in front of him. He looked down at me with lust in his eyes and I smiled as I began slowly unbuttoning his dark jeans.

"I've been thinking about doing this again since the moment I got into my bed last night Mr. Cullen."

He grinned wider and I felt his hands make their way to the back of my head. I secretly loved it when he pulled my hair. Had he picked that up last night? I was hopeful just as he gave me a little tug to look back up at him while I worked his zipper.

We looked into each others eyes intensely as my right hand pulled his pants down to his ankles and my left hand dug into his blue boxer shorts to remove its delicious prize.

I was once again almost shaking at the anticipation of tasting him. Of consuming him.

"You, Mr. Cullen, have the most beautiful cock I have ever seen. And the taste…" I teased, repeating his previous words just before bringing his mouth watering rod between my lips in one slick movement. He groaned in delight and increased his grip on the back of my head, pressing me deeper into him and causing me to moan loudly before pulling away to find his eyes again.

"Fucking delicious," I whispered, after removing my lips from around his firm shaft to grin up at him just before absolutely blowing his mind.

My left hand quickly made its way to his perfect ass so that it could pull him that much deeper into my hungry mouth. I felt him pull on my hair gently in a rhythmic motion and found myself growling with every thrust he made. I wanted all of him and didn't think it was possible to ever truly get enough as I hummed my lips over his slippery wet skin.

"Oh fuck baby," he moaned as I glanced up at him, his eyes wide from watching me take his entire cock into my mouth.

"That's not my name Edward," I said slyly, releasing him from my mouth momentarily with a smirk while my hand kept pumping his dick between my fingers.

He groaned desperately and increased his grip on the back of my head before guiding my mouth back to his throbbing dick. I gladly returned it between my lips licking it recklessly with my tongue after getting a little pre-taste of him.

"Mmm," I moaned, hearing his breathing hitch and feeling his body begin to tense.

I took the time to find his eyes once more, sensing that he was about to release himself. I wanted him to remember this moment the same way I would. This moment needed to last us at least twenty four hours. I wanted him to be able to use this to help him get through the next couple of hellish days because I knew I would be using it for the same very reasons.

I swiftly took his cock back into my mouth and began swirling my tongue once again while sucking slowly, wanting to feel every single inch of him.

"Ah fuck, Bella! Look at me, baby. I'm about to cum," he ordered while screaming out my name and yanking my hair back firmly to make eye contact with me.

Success.

I watched him with our eyes locked as I took every ounce of him once again into my mouth and gave two final pumps before removing my lips from his pleasantly pleased dick.

"Heavenly," I whispered, licking my mouth one last time before slowly stepping up to face him, feeling more than slightly light headed.

"You are fucking amazing with that mouth of yours," he complimented after pulling me up against him. I giggled and felt my hands get lost under his shirt as I tried to pull him in closer to me.

"As are you," I assured him, sending a light laugh and quick kiss my way.

He ran his hands through my hair one last time before letting out a sigh.

"We should get back to our seats."

"I know," I whispered closing my eyes, not wanting to leave this goddamn bathroom.

"It's going to be ok Bella. We're going to be okay. I promise. Nothing could ever keep me from you. Not now. Fucking nothing," he told me while smoothing my hair back just before kissing the top of my head.

I looked up and nodded at him solemnly.

"You should go first. I'll be a few minutes behind you," he suggested and again, all I could do was nod.

"Hey, wait."

I stopped and turned back around to look at him before opening the door, and I was thankful when he pulled me back into his arms, holding me firmly once again against his chest. It was something totally innocent but it assured me that he really did care about me for me, and not necessarily just for the amazing BJ he had just received.

"As far as I'm concerned, you're my girl now," he stated just above a whisper, tilting my chin up to kiss my lips.

"That's exactly who I want to be," I whispered back, surprising even myself that I had managed to get the words out in a properly structured sentence.

I could feel him smiling without even opening my eyes to see it.

The butterflies were definitely not dead in my stomach. My butterflies were alive and well.

As I made my way out of the bathroom I felt my bottom lip quiver, feeling the sudden need to cry.

Fucking RL.

I sped up as I approached Alice's row and I was thankful she didn't yank my arm back, out of its socket when I passed her. I did, however, hear her snicker from under her breath and for a split second that brought a grin to my face.

I sat back down in my seat and took a deep breath before biting on my lip as a stewardess passed by giving me the stink eye.

I grinned again realizing our bathroom trip had not gone totally unnoticed, and loving the pulse of excitement that went through my body at the thought of people actually hearing us.

Edward was back two minutes later, scooting his way past me to take his seat.

"Your friend almost tripped me," he muttered from under his breath as he quickly wrapped his arm around my shoulder to bring me back up against his chest.

"She's probably dying right now," I replied giggling as I wrapped his other arm around me wishing we could pause this moment forever.

Before I knew it, the pilot was announcing to prepare for landing and warning us that the temperature had dropped and there was a forecast for snow later in the city.

"Welcome home my Bella," Edward whispered in my ear after the wheels touched the ground with a loud thud. I gave him a crooked smile and tried to tell myself everything was going to be fine. That it wasn't going to be easy, but it was going to be ok.

I knew Jacob would be home waiting for me, probably with some grand romantic gesture of apology, and that just made me feel all the more uncomfortable.

We were on our way up the terminal, Edward and I holding hands, when Alice dropped her phone after checking it.

"Guys, wait!" she yelped with a frantic look in her eyes.

"What? What's wrong?" Edward asked concerned as he picked up her cell and handed it to her.

I'd never seen my friend so panicked. It wasn't a flattering look for her but I couldn't manage to shake my shared concern in order to smile at the first flaw I'd ever seen in her.

"Um… I… you probably shouldn't," she stuttered out all the while staring at our hands locked together tightly between us.

I looked at her trying to read the expression on her face, and quickly released Edward's hand, understanding.

"Please tell me he's not here," I yelled.

She shook her head sadly, showing me her phone.

There was a text from her fiancé saying that both he and Jacob were waiting at the baggage claim.

I froze. Confused, frightened, and pissed all at the same time.

I looked over to Edward, unsure of what to do, and looking for answers in his eyes. He gave me an understanding look before slowly sticking his hands in his pocket, making me feel worse than I already did.

I had no idea how to handle this. This I had not anticipated. I definitely wasn't ready to have this conversation with Jacob. Not in a public place and not with Edward here.

"I guess we'll just have to go our separate ways from here. I'll call you tonight," he told me plainly but looking completely devastated and breaking my heart in the process.

The emotions that were pouring over me were too much to bare. I suddenly felt like I would never see him again, the thought causing tears to quickly appear in my eyes.

"It's ok Bella, really," he said, pulling me into his arms. Making me feel secure again.

"I'll go down and find them," Alice said softly from behind us.

She wanted to give us privacy and I was grateful for that.

Edward led me over to a secluded spot inside the terminal and wrapped me in another tight hug. One I never wanted to end. I just couldn't find the strength to let him go.

"I'll call you tonight. Maybe we can go get some coffee at the café you told me about," he said, trying to help me feel better about the situation.

I nodded my head and stood on my toes to kiss him, my whole body relaxing as soon as our lips met.

I reached up and placed my hands against his face, kissing him more roughly and urgently now. Afraid of losing everything we'd discovered in each other. He probably sensed my need for him because he quickly returned the kiss, pulling my whole body to him and wrapping his arms around my waist firmly as my knees began to shake from the emotions that were pouring over me.

I was amazed at how easily I could forget about my surroundings when I was in his arms. It was as though we were the only two people in the world.

I could feel his heart racing against my chest, and it made it that much harder to let him go.

"Go first," he told me after pulling away, using his index fingers to force the corners of my mouth into a smile.

I gave him one more quick kiss before walking away, feeling more like a zombie than anything else. I knew if I didn't do it fast I would never be able to walk away at all. I depended on him far too much now.

Just before getting onto the escalator, I turned to get one last look at him but he was already gone.

I already felt alone.

Just like that.

I spotted Alice as soon as I reached the luggage claim, Jasper and Jacob by her side. The sight of him making my heart ache immediately.

He was leaning against a wall, one knee bent as his foot rested firmly in its place, arms crossed in front of him and his eyes lighting up at the sight of me.

My knees were trembling for a different reason now as the escalator brought me closer and closer to the bottom.

He was definitely something to look at. I'd forgotten just how gorgeous he was. I suddenly found myself remembering how I'd spend mornings looking at him while he slept peacefully on our bed. He was thrilling to look at even then. Even though he was the last person I wanted to see, it melted my heart to see his face again and I instantly hated him for it.

I walked over hesitantly, staring at my feet most of the way there.

He should have known better than to ambush me like this. He should have waited at home instead of coming here, making things worse.

Alice gave me a look of pity then winked to try and make me smile.

Just then my phone buzzed sending a grin to my lips. I stopped a few feet away and took a look, unable to hide my smile as soon as I saw who it was from.

I miss you already, ~my~ Bella. This picture on my phone just doesn't compare. -Stalker

I shut my phone, quickly returning it to my bag, before looking up to find Jacob's questioning expression, hating the guilt that came over me.

"Welcome home Bells," he said with forced enthusiasm once I had joined the group.

He opened his arms for a hug and I returned the gesture only with much less fervor, letting go soon after to hug Jasper.

"How long have you guys been home?" I asked trying to make conversation while my eyes remained on the ground or on my best friend who looked as though she were about to have her own anxiety attack.

"We got back last night," Jacob said, pausing to look at me before continuing, "It's been awful being home without you."

I heard Alice fake-laugh under her breathe then mumbled, "Oh please," causing Jasper to shoot her a dirty look.

Jacob chuckled nervously and draped his arm over my shoulder, just as I saw Edward stepping off the escalator looking right at us.

I stopped breathing, unable to do anything to make it all go away.

Alice must have noticed too because she grabbed my arm, pulling me out from under Jacobs arm while frantically stating that she needed me to come to the bathroom with her.

"Thank you. So, so much," I whispered, completely dazed out, as we both speed walked into the ladies room.

I caught a glance of Edward and he gave me a fast encouraging wink, melting my heart again just as I felt my own panic attack coming on.

"What am I going to do? How could he do this, Alice?" I asked my friend frantically.

"You know what you want, Bella. Be honest with him. It's obvious he thinks there's a chance to work things out. Jasper said Jacob always claimed you weren't really broken up. He said you were taking a break."

I was beyond irritated at that point. He was acting as if what he'd done was no big deal. As if he didn't completely screw everything up. As if he hadn't crushed me entirely.

"Did Jasper also tell you about all the groupies Jacob hooked up with while on tour?" I asked getting angry behind my tears.

"Actually… he said he didn't. Not once," Alice replied pointedly.

"Right. Like I'm supposed to believe that."

How could I trust him after everything he had done?

"I don't think Jasper would lie to me Bella," she said defensively and I immediately felt bad for even insinuating it.

We stood there in silence, me trying to wrap my head around what she was telling me. Maybe he really did just need some time to think and consider things… maybe it was just an innocent break to him.

But that didn't really change things. Not for me. I had been the one to suffer for it. But also the one who had found something so much more in the process.

"Do you have feelings for Edward?" Alice asked seriously, catching me by surprise and forcing me to look her in the eyes. "I mean real, true feelings, Bella. Not just, 'he gave me the most amazing head ever while we were a mile high in the sky' feelings," she snickered just as an older woman squeezed past us to wash her hands looking more than embarrassed by the current conversation taking place.

"I do," I said at once before biting my lip impulsively.

"Do you have feelings for Jacob?" she asked forcefully.

I stood for a moment, trying to think of the best way to answer, because the truth was... I didn't know the answer. Not anymore.

All the nights lying in bed thinking about what I would tell Edward when he asked me what our future held, all those moments when I would ask my self if the feelings I felt for Edward were real, and analyzed what they meant… I hadn't even considered what my feelings were for Jacob still. Was it possible to feel so strongly about two very different people? To still have some amount of love in my heart for the person who had broken it so severely, but also have love for the person who had put it back together?

"Oh, Bella. What am I going to do with you? See, this is why that was supposed to be a fun rebound fling," she said accusingly while shaking her finger at me like a mother scolding her child.

"I couldn't help falling for him, Alice," I muttered, shocking my self with the sudden revelation as it left my lips.

Holy crow. I had fallen in love with Stalker.

"Falling for him? As in falling in love? Bella Swan, you've known the guy for a week! And although I hate Jacob with every bone in my body right now, I believe Jasper. Maybe we were wrong about him."

I knew she was right but I couldn't lie to myself. I was positive I had fallen for Edward and deep down I felt an enormous amount of guilt for it.

This wasn't fair. None of it was.

Life's not fair Bella. I reminded myself as tears swelled up in my eyes.

Alice stared at me and shook her head, letting out a long sigh.

"Bella, Bella, Bella… please pull yourself together. Let's get you guys home so you can figure out what you're going to do," she took a moment to grab my hand, "I feel for you. I really do. Just make sure you make the right choice and not an impulsive decision. Do it for yourself, not anyone else."

I wiped my eyes with the paper towel she handed me and let her guide me back to the guys, this time with her own arm around my shoulder acting as my makeshift protector.

As soon as we were out of the bathroom my eyes were drawn to Edward. He was standing about twenty feet away and looked concerned. I couldn't help but flash him a half smile, regretting it soon after realizing Jacob had noticed our exchange. I also couldn't help but notice the lack of enthusiasm from Jacob once we joined them again by the carousel.

Again, and again I felt guilt sweep over me.

"So, my future wife is going to be a TV star?" Jasper asked breaking the silence.

"Yep. You're looking at the next big thing boys," she joked back as we walked out to the parking lot and the cold New York air.

I was home again, exactly where I didn't want to be.

I didn't say much during the ride home while sitting in the back of the cab between Alice and Jacob. I saw him start to reach for my hand a few times only to redirect it back to his lap and continue looking out his window.

I could read the anxiety on his face and it was killing me.

Alice was right. I couldn't make an impulsive decision. Jacob and I had been through too much together. He had been my best friend at the time when I had lost my parents and I wasn't sure I would have survived that without him.

He was my rock, my shelter in the storm during the darkest time of my life.

But he was also the one person who constantly chose other things over me when his band was involved. I understood his music was his passion but leaving me wasn't part of the deal.

We dropped Alice and Jasper off outside their apartment building uptown and I automatically wished I could think of an excuse to go with them. I wasn't ready to be alone with Jacob, not yet.

Alice gave me a tiny wink and squeezed my hand firmly ignoring my current panic attack, obviously trying to make me feel better.

"Call me later, and please, please don't hesitate to come stay with us," she reminded me quietly in my ear before kissing my cheek and disappearing amongst the hustle and bustle of the busy city sidewalk.

We rode in silence the rest of the way; a silence that continued all the way up to the apartment.

I wasn't surprised by the dozens of flowers that were waiting for me as I came in the front door. I didn't blink twice. This was Jacob. He was on a mission.

"I'm going to shower. I, uh… need to shake this jet lag," I told him without looking in his direction after setting my bag next to the couch and smelling one of the apricot colored roses in the center of a bouquet on the coffee table. Those were my favorite and he knew that.

"Sure. I was going to make dinner tonight. I mean if that's ok?" The hesitation in his voice made me sigh.

"Sounds good," I replied inanimately as I quickly grabbed a towel from the closet.

It felt somewhat good to be home, surrounded by my familiar things and welcoming walls, but it still wasn't what I wanted. It only made me feel worse, being back here.

I found myself touching my lips as I remembered my last kiss with Edward. They were still tingling and I could feel my face turning red as I continued to remember where else his lips had kissed just an hour ago. And like that I was smiling again.

I was just about to close the bathroom door when I heard my phone chime, letting me know I had a new text message. I wasn't fast enough though and Jacob was suddenly reaching his hand into my bag causing me to panic.

"I'll get it," I said a little too loudly. Alarm palpable in my voice.

He handed me my phone, studying my face carefully.

"It's only Alice," he replied, making me feel a wave of relief and then utter and total guilt.

I tried to play it cool by casually taking the phone from him but I could read the suspicion on his face. I was never good at acting casual under stressful situations. Just another one of my many flaws.

New information. Call me when you can. -Alice

"Guess she got news about the TV show," I told him before making my way back to the bathroom. Looking at his distraught face was killing me. I could feel the tension pouring from him and it was almost debilitating.

Once I closed the door behind me I dialed my best friend's number, turning the water on at the same time to drown out my whispering.

"What's up?" I asked quietly, glancing at the threshold under the door for any sign of shadows from eaves droppers.

"There was someone. One night in Miami. Jasper said it was just a fling and Jacob didn't talk to her again. I'm sorry, Bells. I thought you should know… but you can't let him know you know about it or Jazz will kill me."

I felt a flood of emotions roll over me, first relief but then anger mixed with pressure on my chest as if someone was sucking the life out of me. It was absolutely paralyzing.

"What kind of a fling?" I must have been some sort of masochist because I already knew the answer to this question.

"The bad kind. The kind you and Edward haven't had. Well, at least I don't think you would have fucked him for the first time in a airplane port-a-potty, but it was only one night and Jasper said Jacob was wasted."

I thanked my friend for the information, not wanting to hear anymore, then hit the end button on my phone before letting it slide from my hand into the bathroom sink where it rocked back and forth several times till coming to a complete stop. All I could do was hide my face in my hands to muffle my crying.

This was my reality being forced in front of me and I couldn't look away.

I knew it. I expected it. It was inevitable.

But for some reason I still wasn't fully prepared to deal with it.

Poor Bella… we all knew this was coming though right… EPOV up next… its been a busy week for me in my own shitty RL, pft.

*Sigh*

Will things get easier for Bella or will she continue to ride this roller coaster?