"Give sorrow words: the grief that does not speak
Whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break."
- Macbeth

x

Chapter 11: Give Sorrow Words

"How did the lunch go?"

Baron smiled. "Well. The princess didn't turn up, but everyone was very sociable. I could ask you the same question. Did Yuki accept lunch?"

Lune grinned. "It took a bit of persuading on my part, but in the end, yes. We sat down together here and talked."

"Find anything interesting?"

"Once she relaxed she talked about her own life in the castle, but there's something that might interest you. It's about the princess."

"Really?"

"Yes. Apparently, on the same day that she was cursed, her father died."

"And Yuki just told you that?"

"Well, not exactly. She kind of let it slip out, when she was talking about her, saying how hard it was for the princess having been cursed and all, but her father died on the same day. She didn't say anything else."

"Did she say he'd died or had been killed?"

"She refused to tell me anything else."

Baron frowned. "I hadn't really asked about Haru's father. I don't know whether I just assumed that he was alive, but I just hadn't seen him yet, or if I thought he was dead."

"I think the same goes for me. No one had mentioned him, so I just didn't think about it."

"Blissful ignorance," noted Baron with a grim smile. "We're all guilty of it."

"She's not had an easy life, has she?"

"You can say that again."

"Perhaps... perhaps I judged her too quickly..."

Baron had to stop himself from laughing at Lune's understatement, and replied calmly, "Perhaps you did." He walked over to the window, and leant on the ledge, gazing down at the intricate gardens below him that could've easily served as a maze. "She's lost a lot."

"I know." Lune paused for a moment, and then added, "Yuki has the most delightful laugh. It's so delicate. And she's modest, unlike all those women my father brings into the court and calls ladies. She's more of a lady than any of them."

Baron smiled. The word 'infatuated' came to mind. He let Lune babble on about the maid, knowing that he'd happily talk about her for hours if he was allowed to, if he really did like Yuki. In the same way that he'd talk about Haru, if he could find a willing ear.

No, he couldn't let himself fall for the princess. She was still trying to get over Machida.

Movement below caught his eye and he leant further out of the window to spot a head of brown hair. Haru, it had to be.

"Are you even listening?" Lune demanded.

Baron had just made a decision. "Nope," he said, walking over to the door.

"I was talking to you. Hey, where are you going?"

He grinned. "I'm going for a stroll in the gardens. Carry on talking; just pretend that I'm still standing by the window, if you want." He walked through the door, leaving the prince stunned by his frankness. He ran through the corridors, navigating by the limited map in his mind to the front doors, knowing that if he hesitated then he'd stand no chance of finding the princess in the gardens. He arrived, and took the path that he'd seen the princess take.

After he'd taken two rights and a left, he began to realise his hasty decision had maybe been the wrong one. The gardens looked the same, and Rei had clearly said that Haru knew the gardens 'like the back of her hand', which meant he had little – if any – chance of catching up with her. He took another turning, and then stopped. In the late winter season, the bushes were bare and empty, except for a few remaining enchanted roses that were withering away. He remembered looking at the gardens from his room and marvelling at how maze-like it was, but now he was in the clutches of the gardens, it was even more so.

He leant with his back against a hedge, resigning himself to the fact that if he wanted to talk to Haru, he'd have to find her in the castle, where at least he had a vague idea where he was going. He closed his eyes and the memory of the view from his window came to mind. He had spent enough time gazing down at the gardens for the image to be ingrained into his mind. He opened his eyes. Surely he could navigate by that map he'd acquired. He ran back over his route... If he was correct, if he took another left, he'd come to a small, hidden alcove surrounded by pine trees and with a wooden bench to the side. He decided to test it and turned left.

He came to the small garden, but it wasn't empty. On the grass was the princess, kneeling down in all her finery, ignoring the fact that her expensive dress had attained several green grass stains. She had her head hung low, but at hearing Baron's approach her head shot up. Her chocolate eyes were red with crying, but seeing it was him, they turned angry.

"What are you doing here?" she snapped.

"I wanted to check on you." He crouched down in front of her so that his eyes were level with hers. "I was worried for you after everything that's happened." He moved a hand to wipe away a tear that was rolling down her cheek.

She flinched away. "Don't touch me."

Baron dutifully withdrew his hand, but also stepped away. "I'm sorry."

"You don't belong here. Not you, and not the prince. When you can, you should go."

He was shocked by the venom in her voice, but didn't take another step back. "Why?"

"Because you don't belong here!" she repeated crossly. "You should stop pretending that you do."

"Where do you belong then? You've missed a hundred years; the world has passed you by. The world you once knew is gone."

"Here. I belong here," she said firmly.

"You cannot hide here forever," Baron told her gently, refusing to be fazed by the princess's short responses. "One day you will have to face what's happened. Face the world."

"Why do you care? You're just another spoilt brat from a rich background." Her eyes were blazing. "I've met people like you before. Wealthy, pampered, pompous, proud, arrogant idiots who think they know it all. You've probably got servants for every chore, have such a cosy life and have never done a spot of hard work in your life! What do you know about the world, baron?" She spat out the last word, not as a name, but as a reference to his rank. She said it with hatred. "You're all show and no brain. I expect you're used to girls just falling over you, begging for your attention."

Baron waited for Haru to finish, quite used to Louise ranting when she got fed up of his dreams, patiently letting the girl shout at him. She needed to let it all out. At least now he knew part of the reason why she hated him.

"Feel better now?" he asked lightly.

Haru glared.

'If looks could kill...' Baron thought idly to himself, but didn't let the thought show. Now she had fully expressed herself, he supposed he could make his own point now.

"Actually, I care because your family seems genuinely worried about you, and they've been so kind to me and my companion that I can't help sharing their worry."

She snorted in a very un-princess-like manner. "Pull the other one; it's got bells on," she said bluntly. "As if you care about anything beyond your own problems."

"Why can't I? I'm perfectly capable of worrying for others. I'm very good at it in fact. Louise's always telling me to think about myself for once." He smiled at the memory of his favourite friend back home.

"Who's Louise? Your girlfriend? Anyway, you can't, because I know your sort."

Baron didn't try to correct her about Louise, caught up in Haru's last statement. "What is my sort then?" he asked, as if playing with her, smiling again.

The brunette's eyes narrowed. "Like I said, wealthy, pampered, pompous, arrogant–"

"You missed out 'proud'," he added helpfully.

"Proud, pompous," she corrected frigidly, "arrogant idiots who think they know it all."

"And you just slide me into that category? Before you've even talked to me properly or anything?"

She stood up frostily. "I believe this conversation is over."

Baron stood up with her, lightly taking hold of her wrist. "You haven't told me why you were crying yet."

"Why do you care?" she snarled again. "It's not your problem."

"Oh, I have a habit of sticking my nose in other people's problems. And you know how hard habits are to kick."

She gave him another cold glare. "Was that an attempt at humour?"

He shrugged. "A pretty poor attempt, I'll give you that," he admitted. "But at least I'm trying."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that at least I'm trying to get along. All you ever do is run whenever anyone gets too close. Like you're doing now." He knew he was being blunt, but he was beginning to realise that only the frank truth would have any chance of making an impression on her. She had created too many walls around her for anything else to be able to pierce through. "Why won't you let anyone help you?"

"Maybe I don't want to be helped," she said shortly, but she didn't bolt just yet.

"Then what do you want?"

She regarded him as he wondered whether stepping nearer would startle her into fleeing. He decided it would.

"I want," she answered, "to be left alone."

He allowed a chuckle at this. "No, no one really wants that, no matter what they say. It's just an escape clause. What do you really want?" he repeated.

"I want to be left alone."

Baron looked at her. "Why are you lying? Or have you deceived yourself into actually believing that line? Why do you so desperately want to believe it?"He waited, then sighed when he got no response. "Okay, ignore me. But one day you'll have to answer those questions." He turned to go.

Haru finally spoke up, but didn't turn around to face him. "Self-deception," she murmured. "We all do it. Believe in something that isn't there. Disbelieve in something that is. No one is immune to it; it's just a matter of if we see past it ourselves or if we're so deep into it that the truth is hard to separate from the fiction we create. I've heard about you, and I wonder, Baron, what yours is." She slipped between two pine trees, into another section of the garden before Baron could react to her words.

He didn't know what had stunned him most – her insight, or the proper use of his nickname for the first time. But he wasn't deceiving himself... was he?

He started out of his thoughts, and followed the princess, managing to pull himself through after her, but even before he fully made his way past the trees, he knew he stood no chance. Even with his amateur mental map, he couldn't compete with Haru's knowledge of the gardens, not without getting utterly lost anyway.

He heard her running feet, and instantly forgot that thought, entertaining the idea that he could maybe follow her if he could hear her still. He had almost got her to talk properly to him; he couldn't give this chance up. Two lefts, a right, another left... His mental map began to dissolve into chaos as it failed to keep up with his fast-paced, snap decisions based on where the sound of running feet seemed to be coming from. Sometimes it faded, other times it was as if she was only metres in front of him and occasionally he lost it completely so that he was running blind.

Eventually his mind comprehended that this was a hopeless case, and forced him to a standstill. She probably knew he was following and had led him deeper into the maze of hedges and bushes, to the point where finding his way back would be near impossible without assistance. He slid down and leant his back against the hedge, ignoring the prickly leaves digging into him.

"Alright, you win," he called. He didn't even know if she could hear him, but it was worth a try. "I give up. I don't know what I was thinking anyway," he added to himself. "We're going back tomorrow evening, so even if I did manage to get you to talk to me, it wouldn't make any difference."