Author's Note: Scene-setting and build-up and we're so nearly there…

Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight. I'm just taking liberties with it.

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Edward

I'm tired Monday, dragging myself through a shower, chewing mechanically on cereal and driving more slowly than usual over to collect Bella. I can feel my reactions are off.

I didn't sleep well last night. I'd hoped after the day with Bella that maybe I would, but my fucking brain would not shut down.

I so nearly trashed everything again when it was just damn perfect. The meadow's my favorite place to come and lie about and think. I've never taken a girl there before but it felt right, being there with her.

And she was so sweet and funny, all huffy about walking no distance at all, and in those boots and the skirt, I was battling from the moment she opened her door not to throw her down and just plunge into her. But she schooled me with that asswipe preacher moaning on about abstinence on the radio and got me to cool it, which was just as well because I was getting very damn out of control.

Then she had to raise goddam Jake. Man, I panicked, I was sure she must know we were seeing each other - why else would she be asking me about him? And I couldn't help but push her to see if she'd be honest with me and tell me she'd seen him Saturday, and kissed him. She didn't of course so that kind of got me pissed, but mostly my brain was just grinding on and on about should I tell her. About me. And Jake. That we were fucking.

I didn't of course. Too chickenshit, too afraid she'd be grossed out and furious and that would be that. And then I'd drown in all the crap that's trying to suck me down like quicksand. So I shut down and did what I always do - tried to escape from the fact that I was lying to her and fucking both of them by getting stoned. Even on a perfect afternoon with my girl, I wasn't brave enough to leave the weed alone.

I didn't really want her to get stoned as well, not at first. Just wanted to be a shit and hate myself and make her hate me too, like she should. I'm fucking bad news, she should steer well clear. But she joined me, and the buzz and the sun on her skin…I just couldn't keep the moody shit going, I had to touch her.

So good, loving Bella. Her skin was soft and warm from the sun and she smelled so fantastic it made me moan and just bury my nose in her, licking her sweet round ass cheeks and ah fuck the taste of her cunt and to have her moving on my face, coming in my mouth. I was ecstatic, just burning all over and my cock was so hard, so fucking hard.

Then she had a front-opening bra and I thought I was in heaven when her tits were in my mouth. Fuck do I love Bella's tits, I'm rock hard now just remembering how they felt and tasted. Damn, I have to calm down and stop perving about her, I'll be at her place in five minutes. I can't let myself dream about being inside her…oh God, how it felt when I thrust up inside her, I have to pull over and beat off or I'm going to jizz my pants. No, fuck no, get a fucking grip dickhead you can't beat off at the side of the road in fucking Forks. Not cool. Shit. Fuck.

OK, remember the bad stuff, that'll cockblock me for sure. Having to fess up to whoring around, although she doesn't seem bothered that I've been with guys. Would she handle the Jake thing? Yeah but I'm still fucking him. And her. That's not gonna go down well. No.

And the stuff she told me about that terminal asshole in Phoenix and what he did. Hardest thing I've ever done, holding her and just listening and looking after her. Because I wanted to lose it so bad, I wanted to smash things and tear branches off the trees and just fucking let rip. I wanted to kill him.

But she needed me to hold her and comfort her so I did. And afterwards she needed me to love her again so I showed her that it didn't matter, that whatever she'd been through didn't change how I felt. I showed her with my mouth and my hands and my cock inside her just loving her…and ah fuck I'm hard again. Jesus I want her.

I want her and I'm so fucked. Because I have to tell her about Jake, and then what?

"Hey Bella, just thought I'd mention that while we've been having this really intense relationship with sex that literally makes me see God, I've also been screwing your old friend Jake."

Yeah, that's going to be such a fun chat.

So that's what's keeping me up at night, pacing, terrified. I mean she finally told me she kissed him, in the car when she was all loose and open from the dope and sharing and mindblowing sex. And then I have to say "he's definitely hot" which he is, but what's she going to make of that? Has she guessed?

So now I'm at her house, all fucked up and desperate. My cock's aching for her and my heart's beating out of my chest and my brain hurts. And it's Monday morning before school and this shit cannot go on, I'm not going to make it, I'll burst a blood vessel or something.

Then she opens the door and smiles at me and I just feel right. Something clicks into place and I stop spinning out. Nothing's solved but for now it's alright, for now I can cope.

Bella's with me and I'm home.

So I take her bag and hold her hand and we go to school.

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Bella

I opened the door and he looked so lost and desperate. Drawn and tired, dark circles under his eyes like bruises. Then he smiled and some of the tension left his face. Still beautiful, how can he look so shattered and so beautiful all at once, his green eyes dark and haunted. Totally unfair.

How can I get him to talk to me? Something's eating at him, something that frightens me if it makes him look like that. Is it what he was hinting at earlier, this thing in his past that he feels so guilty about? But why is it so much worse today when he was mostly OK on Sunday?

Well, not entirely OK I guess, he did go weird on me when he shut off and pulled out the weed. It was after I asked about Jake, and I had to tell him in the end, in the car. I had to tell him I went out with Jake and kissed him. Is that it? He seemed to take it calmly at the time but maybe it's eaten away at him since. Ah crap, that must be it - he's jealous and he hates me because I went with Jake. But he doesn't seem angry with me - wouldn't he be angry? He seems to want to touch me and he's sticking to me like we're joined at the hip. I can't fucking figure him out.

We get through the day, quiet at lunchtime, just holding hands and he doesn't eat anything. And then after school he drives me home but when we get inside all he wants to do is just lie on my bed and hold me. I stroke his hair and he curls into me and goes to sleep for an hour. I have to wake him up in the end so I can make Charlie's dinner. So hard to wake him, I just want to hold him and keep him safe and let him sleep.

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Tuesday at lunch and Alice is all aquiver. Their parents are off at some reunion in Portland for the weekend, away from Friday through until Monday. Emmett's in charge and they're planning a party.

"Saturday night Bella, going to be such fun. Come and stay over, go on, I'll talk Charlie around. He doesn't need to know about the party, we'll call it a sleepover. Now, we need a theme."

"Please Alice, not costumes. I hate costume parties."

I'm not mad keen on parties of any sort really. Noise and drunk groping guys and not knowing anyone. Trying to make inane shouted conversation or wandering from room to room desperate to find a corner to hide in. Stupid costumes are an extra irritation. And I don't dance. But it's at Edward's and he'll be there with me so of course I want to go.

I glance at Edward and his face is hard to read. There's a spark of something - excitement? Hope? But he's still preoccupied.

He leans in and whispers: "Sleepover with me Bella, please."

A shudder runs through me from his lips and hot breath on my ear.

"Yes OK Alice, I'd love to come."

Edward chuckles into my neck and I elbow him. Coming? You will be… Smug bastard, I'll show him.

"Leather and Lace," Alice announces. "That's the theme. Leather and Lace. You have to wear one or the other."

Edward grins at me, batting his lashes. "You wear the leather Bella, I'll wear the lace."

"Edward!" Alice cuffs him. "OK, I'm off to spread the word. Partytime, yay!"

She bounces off, dragging an eye-rolling Jasper in tow.

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Other than the minor excitement of the looming party and parent-free weekend, the week goes by quietly. Edward's still a bit brooding on Wednesday and he still just wants to hold me and kiss after school. I walk him down to the front door when Charlie's due back for dinner. We kiss on the step then he pushes my hair back behind my ear, pulling me to him to nuzzle my neck.

"Looking forward to the party?"

"Not really Edward. I am looking forward to being with you though. To…sleeping over."

I grin at him and run my tongue around my lips suggestively.

He smirks and pulls me tighter against him. "Mmmm, me too. Hey, I was thinking, why don't you invite Jake? He'd probably enjoy the party don't you think?"

"Jake?" I'm surprised. I mean, I'd like to and yes, he loves parties and having a good time. But I thought Edward…maybe he's not jealous and it's something else he's been upset about? Huh.

"Well yes, if that's OK. He'd love to come."

Edward's eyes are mischievous - now what's he smirking about? "He'll have no problem with Alice's theme, anyway…"

"Yeah," I grin. "What with the bike." Jake must wear the leathers all the damn time, I guess Edward saw him in them at the concert in Seattle.

Edward presses his lips to mine again. "See you in the morning Bella."

He seems less moody the rest of the week. Maybe he's looking forward to the party?

I call Jake and he's keen of course. We chat for a while and he makes me laugh with stories about Quil and Embry's dating dramas. So I'll see him Saturday. I clamshell my phone and sit there, wondering how that's going to go - Jake and me and Edward in the same place. It's beginning to dawn on me that it might be a little tricky. Surely they'll be civilised with each other? Edward suggested I invite Jake after all. Hmmm.

I still think we need to talk, or at least he needs to tell me what's eating him, but there's never a good moment. Maybe he's avoiding the issue, steering me away whenever he senses me gearing up to ask him. And I'm easily distracted around him with his lips in my hair and on my neck, his hands holding me close to him and stroking me.

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By the time Saturday arrives I'm so worked up by his touches and kisses I feel like a volcano that's making the seismologists shake their heads and pore over tracings.

I take some time in the afternoon figuring out my outfit, for Alice's damn theme.

Lacy bra and boyshorts, check.
A tight white blouse with lace at the collar and cuffs, check. The buttons undone down to my cleavage of course.
My tan leather mini-skirt from Phoenix, check. It's shorter than I'm really comfortable with but hell, this is a party after all.
A wide black leather belt with studs for around my hips, check.
And my black leather boots to the knee, check.

Some dark gray eye shadow and strawberry lip gloss and I'm pleased with the end result. It's a lot edgier than I usually wear to school and I'm happy to bust out of the mold for a change. I smirk at myself in the mirror: this is going to bring Edward to his knees. Hopefully literally.

Alice asked me to head over to the Cullen residence about six o'clock to help her with the last arrangements, so I pile my overnight bag and my leather and laced up self into the old rust-heap, trying not to rip my skirt to shreds on the edge of the damn door. Fucking truck's a death-trap.

I help Alice string some lights and set out snacks. Edward's out picking up even more lights and putting them up by the turn-off to the Cullen driveway. Alice can never get enough sparkly lights it seems. He gets back while I'm in Alice's room helping her to dress, and knocks on the door, but we send him packing. Alice is stunning in a low-cut red lace top, skin-tight black leather pants and spike-heel boots.

Finally we emerge and head downstairs. Jasper and Edward are in the kitchen having a beer as we make our entrance. Both their jaws drop as we pose dramatically in the doorway.

I have to admit, the guys look pretty good themselves. Jazz is wearing black leather pants as well, and a thin leather tie loosely knotted over an old Judas Priest Hell Bent for Leather T-shirt. Nice one, Jazz.

Edward has his black skinny jeans on and a moss green button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled. He's got a black leather waistcoat on over the shirt which is open so that I can see his throat and a delicious glimpse of chest. His hair's mussed up as usual, and he's got the guyliner on again. As I walk across to him I realise that he hasn't worn it for a while. Mostly I don't miss it, but for special occasions, I have to admit it's hot.

He's leaning back against the counter smirking, his long legs spread out in front of him. I walk into the crook of his legs and he parks the beer, his hands coming down to my waist to pull me in closer.

"Damn you're looking good Bella, I'm going to have my work cut out keeping all the horndog guys from hitting on you." He kisses my neck, careful not to mess up my lip-glossed mouth. Well trained by Alice no doubt.

I grab the edges of his waistcoat and pull him down to me, rubbing my nose along his jaw line.

"Looking pretty dazzling yourself Cullen," I murmur, tilting my head back to look at his face, the clear green eyes, the strong planes and sweet mouth. "And I'm gonna have to fend off the guys and the girls both with you in that outfit."

His eyes widen, then he grins wickedly. "Dazzling huh? Do I dazzle you, baby?"

"Frequently."

I run my fingers through his hair and he leans into it and shivers a little, his eyes closing. I want to drag him upstairs right now but no, we have to stay and socialise. Mentally calculating when I can reasonably kidnap him and lock us in his room, I take his hand and we wander off to meet and greet the guests as they arrive.

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Edward

The party's well underway and Emmett's running the rap playlist I made for him, dancing hard with Rosalie who's in full dominatrix mode. The living room's full of mostly middle-class white kids grinding and sticking their booties out and doing bad attempts at jazz hands. Actually it's kind of amusing and I hear Bella give a soft snort beside me.

I pull her into my lap on the couch and she giggles and snuggles into my neck. She's a little tipsy from the whiskey sours that I made with some JD. They go down easy and pack quite a punch. I like how she feels with the whiskey on board - all soft and loose and wanting. Some of that's the effect of the whiskey on me as well, but I'm not drunk, I can soak it up better than she can. She's so small and I feel protective. I push my nose into her hair: smells so good.

Then Bella squeals and wriggles off my lap. What the fuck? Oh, it's Jake, Jake's arrived. He's in his bike leathers of course, the jacket open and a black wifebeater showing. Damn he's hot as he grins down at us, his head tilted to one side.

Bella flings herself at him for a hug. The drinks have made her pretty loose with Jake as well I guess and he makes the most of it, the bastard, wrapping her up in his big arms and kissing her neck. The fucker winks at me over her shoulder and I'm pissed but I'm excited too. I don't mind seeing her in Jake's arms as much as I should. I know what he's telling me with that wink, what he's reminding me about. My mouth goes dry and my breathing quickens.

When I told Bella to invite him I wasn't thinking about it - it just came out. Then I realised that some part of me wanted to get all three of us together to sort this mess out somehow. I couldn't simply tell Bella, couldn't sit her down and lay it all out for her then watch her freeze over and walk away disgusted with me. But maybe if something just happened?

Hell. I run my hands through my hair. This is fucking risky. Probably going to be a complete fucking disaster. I need a drink.

"Hey Jake, good to see you again." I eye him meaningfully. Do not fuck this up Jake, no touchie-feelies to freak her out. Not yet…I step forward and do the guy shoulder punch thing. Casual, keep it light. Acquaintances, concert buddies, that's all.

Jake grins and gives me a small mocking salute. "Hey Edward, ditto. How you been?"

"Pretty good man - let's get you a drink, c'mon."

I put my arm around Bella's shoulders and steer Jake towards the kitchen, my other hand on his back. Is that too close? Do guys touch each other like that if they hardly know each other? I take my hand away. Shit. In the kitchen I get Jake a beer and make another round of whiskey sours for me and Bella. They lean on the counter chatting away while I bustle about with lemons and cracked ice, acutely aware of both of them.

"So are you gonna show us around the mansion Eds?"

Bella looks at me sideways - no-one ever calls me anything but Edward. I pretend I haven't noticed.

"Bella's already seen most of it but yeah, if you like."

I check with Bella, raising an eyebrow, and she smiles.

"It's not a mansion, anyway."

Jake does a stage whisper to Bella. "Not a mansion Bells, just like something off Cribs."

I ignore him and lead them out and down the hallway, into the dining room. Out of the corner of my eye I see that Jake's taken Bella's hand.

"Oops."

A couple from school are making out on the dining room table.

"Mind the fucking French polish" I snarl, backing out again.

"Occupied" I say and Jake smirks.

Bella giggles and elbows him then teeters a little, slightly unsteady. Jake slips an arm around her waist.

"Whoopsie sweetheart, Eds been hitting you with too many of those naughty little drinks then?"

"Has not. M'not drunk."

She pushes his arm away, sniffing hautily and running her hands down herself trying to straighten her clothes. She's aiming at dignified but only manages to look half-cut and fucking hot, with her flushed cheeks and slightly glazed eyes. Jake and I are both staring at her with our mouths open, hell, we're almost fucking panting.

"He's not Eds he's Edward, anyways."

She walks across the hallway to me, only swaying a little. "My Edward," she says emphatically, kissing me on the lips.

"Yeah baby, your Edward." I so fucking am. She's warm and soft against me and she owns me. I groan a little as she presses her hips into my aching swollen cock. God she's sexy when she's lit up. Her mouth's hot on mine again and I can't say no.

Jake's come up close behind her. He runs his hand down her back and cups her ass and she shudders and moans into my mouth. I'm not sure she even realises who touched her. Damn, she really is quite drunk, I've blown it.

I look across at Jake past Bella's hair and shake my head slightly. He frowns at me, pissed that I let her get like this.

"Come on Bells" he says, "you're practically falling down there. You need to lie down or get some coffee or something."

I tip her chin up and push her away from me a little, but I don't let go of her. I'm not sure that she'd stay upright if I did.

"M'OK Eds." She grins at me, knowing I don't like nicknames, teasing . "Coffee, need coffee."

I'm not sure that's going to do it but I take her back to the kitchen and get a brew on. Jake settles Bella into one of the kitchen chairs and sits beside her. She leans over and rests her head on his chest and he puts an arm around her, rubbing her upper arm where he's holding her and whispering in her ear.

I lean back against the counter by the cook top opposite them, trying to figure out how I feel, seeing him so close to her. Jealous, excited, confused, but I mind it less than I'd expected. Jake looks up then, meeting my eyes, his gaze dark. He gives me a stare that's full of desire and I feel my cock twitch. He bends his head and kisses her hair, giving me that hot stare all the while. Fuck. I'm so hard, breathing heavily, gripping the counter with white knuckles.

The door bangs open and a group of revellers half falls into the room, talking and laughing loudly. I recognise them - Jessica Stanley and Mike Newton and that prick Tyler as well - I'm sure he tried hitting on Bella. I turn and take the coffee off the heat, pulling out mugs from the cupboard and cream and sugar for the table.

"Hey Ed-ward" Jessica slurs drunkenly, sashaying around the table and rubbing herself against me in a revolting manner. My hands are full with the coffee pot and mugs so I can't fend her off. I try to edge away but she's like a soused fucking limpet. She smells of beer, sweat and cheap scent.

"Hands off, skank!" Bella's pushed herself away from Jake and half-risen, hands on the table, glaring at Jessica. "Get your fucking claws off him Stanley," Bella growls. Jessica giggles and Newton and Tyler leer and start calling for a catfight.

"Mud wrestling!"

"Throwdown, bitches!"

I slam the things down on the table and peel Jessica off of me, pushing her roughly back at Newton who catches her and reels back though the open kitchen door. They stagger off again, Tyler following, laughing and jeering. I slam the door.

"Jesus!" I pour Bella a coffee, fixing it how she likes with cream and two sugars.

"Coffee, Jake?" He nods so I make us all one. He takes his black, sipping at it as he teases Bella about her spat with Jessica.

Bella's more alert after the excitement, and she sucks down the coffee and pushes her mug across the table at me. I make her a refill.

Emmett's moved on to an R&B playlist now and I hear it filtering through the walls, the volume's up so loud. No neighbours to come stomping over threatening to get the cops to shut us down out here in the forest, thank Christ. None to tell Carlisle and Esme we've been bad in their absence.

Quite how bad, I hope they'll never know.

"We should have a dance," Jake says, "burn off some of that alcohol."

"Don't dance," Bella says firmly, shaking her head. She stops shaking it and looks a little sick. "Oops, don't do that," she mutters to herself.

"Come and watch us then," Jake says cheerfully, pulling her up.

She knocks back the last of the coffee then he takes her hand and drags her away. I follow, unsure what to do. He can't make her dance, I know she won't go for that. I'd love to dance with her but she never lets me.

The living room's not quite as crowded as it was when Emmett had the rap on. Several couples are slow-dancing in the dim light to a Mary J Blige track. Jake tries to get Bella to dance with him but she pulls back and slumps onto the couch, her legs sprawled. He shrugs and starts moving anyway.

I slip in beside her and draw her towards me, putting my arm around her thighs and pulling them together as I do. "Legs together now Bella," I warn her. Fucking mini-skirt, letting any horny bastard see what's mine. I kiss her and settle her into the corner with her legs demurely together.

Bella chuckles. "Sorry Eds, did I show off the goodies too much for your liking?" She ruffles my hair, grinning.

"Minx. Keep yourself decent while I have a dance too." She snorts and I kiss her nose then join Jake.

Family Affair ends and the slower rhythms of Don't Waste Your Time drift across the room as I join the dancers. Jake's swaying, his hips grinding, dark eyes on me. I shoot a warning look at him: not in public. I dance well away from him but it's hard with the others on the floor all couples locked together. It makes us dance with each other, even if we're across the room.

My spins and turns unconsciously echo his and he steps and dips in tandem. Without meaning to we move closer until we're only two feet away, moving in a tight gyration, intensely aware of each other.

I look across at the couch and Bella's watching us, her mouth slightly open, eyes wide. I'm turned on anyway with the dancing and Jake, and it pushes me over the edge. I move in and put my arms around his neck, pulling him against me as we move. He raises an eyebrow and grins, then his hands cup my ass and he starts grinding against me.

Jesus. My eyes almost roll back in my head as he presses against my cock which is straining in my tight jeans. I growl and then moan as he pushes his leg between my thighs and rotates his hips in a frank dirty dancing move, squeezing my ass all the while. Fuck I want to kiss him and I'm staring at him, panting, one hand gripping his shoulder and the other knotted in his hair, tipping his head back as he gives me that hot stare under his half-closed eyelids and fucks me with his muscular thigh.

Then he turns me and pulls me back against him, hands on my hips as we move together. I feel his hard cock pressing on my ass and his hair brushes my neck as he puts his lips to my ear and whispers.

"Open your eyes Edward."

Our hips are gyrating, Jake's hands on my waist and mine on his as I sway and bend. I drag my eyes open. We're facing Bella on the couch and she's completely transfixed. Her mouth's open and she's biting her lip. She's unconsciously moving with the music, with our movements, making small thrusts with her pelvis as her hands clench and unclench on the couch beside her.

I groan and my head falls back onto Jake's shoulder as he presses his leg between mine again and dips us into a half-crouch then spins me back to grind with him again.

"Time to take it upstairs baby before I fucking lose it." He bites my neck and I shudder.

"Yes, upstairs." My voice is hoarse.

We separate, still swaying to the beat as we move over to the couch and I put my hand out to Bella. She takes it and stands, staring at me, her eyes hooded. She seems steadier now, hopefully the coffee's kicking in. I pull her against me and head for the door. Jake's vanished, probably gone on ahead.

I brush past various gawpers on the way to the stairs. Well, that's cemented our reputations at Forks High then. Fuck them all, I just want to get upstairs and have them both to myself.

As soon as we get away from the party and up to the third floor I push Bella against the wall and press myself against her, my hand on her ass, my other hand kneading her breast. Her mouth opens against mine and she's kissing me desperately, her tongue in my mouth all hot and excited, her arms tight around my chest. I'm so turned on by Jake I can hardly stand it, I want to ravage her there on the landing.

"Come on kiddies, don't start without me."

Jake's deep voice is amused and a little ragged as he watches us, leaning against my bedroom door. Oh yeah, I locked it to keep randy teenagers out. Time to change that.

I pull Bella along impatiently, dropping her hand to find the key and open the door.

"Why not Jake, you two started without me…" I hear her murmur behind me.

I reach back for her hand and draw her into the room as she hooks a finger in Jake's leather belt and pulls him after us.

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Endnote:

Yeah, it's a cliffie - couldn't be helped, but it's all on next chapter.
Reviews are great, keep them coming.