I woke up. 'Leo.' I had to go see him. My head pounded, but I didn't care. I wanted to see Leo. In a daze, I got up. The room around me seemed to spin. I somehow managed to get dressed.
My mind in a haze, I went downstairs to announce my departure.
"Mari, you look ill. Stay home, today. It's rainy, and you look like you have a fever," commented my father. Millicent nodded.
"Yes, child, stay inside," she agreed. I shook my head slowly.
"No, I like being outside," I answered. My father frowned.
"Very well, Mari, but do be careful. I don't want you getting deathly ill," he remarked. I nodded.
"Thank you, Father. Farewell." I slowly walked to the gardens, trying to walk off whatever ailed me. I wanted to see Leo. I think I loved Leo.
Sure enough, Leo was standing there, quiet and pensive, adorable as ever. What was I thinking? I wasn't normally this bad when it came to thinking of Leo like that. Did I really love Leo, or was it the stupid spinning room?
"Hello Leo," I said. His brow wrinkled as I walked into the gardens.
"Mari, are you okay? You look like you don't feel well," he stated. I shook my head.
"I'm fine, Leo. Honestly, you and my father both think that I'm sick or something. I'm perfectly healthy," I answered. The flowers weren't supposed to move, were they? Leo caught me as I stumbled. He put his hand to my forehead.
"Mari, you're burning up! We've got to get you to a physician!" he exclaimed. I crossed my arms.
"Leo, I'm fine! If you don't stop insisting that I am sick, then I will simply leave you to your delusions," I stated, walking away.
I didn't get very far. My world spun, and I collapsed onto the cobblestone path. That couldn't be good.
"Mari! Mari!" shouted Leo. Leo…he was so kind. A small groan escaped my lips, although it didn't sound like me. I looked up into Leo's green eyes as the world around me blurred into oblivion.
I was vaguely conscious of someone carrying me to a house.
"Prince Leopold? What are you doing here?" asked Allodia, shocked at the royal, unannounced visitor. She gasped as she realized that I was sick.
"She came to the gardens and insisted she wasn't sick. She looked so pale, so fragile that I knew something was wrong. And then she fell to the ground right in front of me. She needs help! Please, I'd rather take her to the castle, but I can't. Will you keep her here?" he asked, worry filling his voice. I became aware of being carried up the stairs and set onto the bed. I shivered, chilled to the bone. Time passed, although in my feverish state, it could have been anywhere from a minute to a day. I was awake, more or less, when my father and Lady Millicent arrived. Father was incredibly worried about me, and Lady Millicent stood there silently.
My eyes widened as I gazed into Lady Millicent's silver eyes. I saw a flash of light. Then darkness…
I am a child. I am always searching for my mother's approval. She ignores me, even when I show her my potential for using magic. She just sits there, telling me to be the prettiest girl, the girl with the most power. Mommy, why don't you love me?
I grew up. I was not sorry when my mother died. I did not feel sorry that I had a part in it. She deserved to die. She was cruel and cold to me. She never loved me. I married Alexander. I loved him. I loved him so much. He was a strong, incredible man. Perhaps he was the only man I ever loved.
More darkness, a deeper, thicker darkness. I longed for the peaceful release of sleep, but the images and thoughts kept bombarding my mind.
Alexander is dead. What will my daughters do? Evangeline is not taking this well. She is intelligent. She reminds me of myself when I was a child. She always looks for opportunities to use her power. Some of her desire for power scares me. Bridget takes after her father. She is kind and innocent, but rather thickheaded. I love them both so much, if only I could find a way to communicate that. I may never love a human man again.
In my desperation, I have turned to my magic. Here in Hetar, I have tried to raise Alexander from the dead. I am not strong enough in my magic. It has gone so awry! No, not the mob! I'm innocent! Please, I only want my husband back! I never wanted anyone to get hurt! I just want my husband.
All my life, I have been misunderstood and unloved. No longer. They call me a witch. They tried to kill me. I only wanted love. Someday, I will return and kill them. They helped me, at first. The poor old widow with two young daughters, take pity on her. She has magic? She tries to raise the dead? She must be evil. Imprison her. Kill her! Now they will pay for their betrayal. The King…he is cruel. He thinks he is good and just, but he is not. They will all pay. Someday…someday…
Hugo is such a kind, trusting man. I hate to use him like this. But I must get back into Hetar. The time has come. I have seen it. My time of vengeance has come.
The girl…she is young and beautiful, much like my own daughters. It takes all of me not to care. She is feisty, clever, and very lovely. Hugo told me all about her. He loves her so much. I can understand why. I feel awful for summoning the Yethid. It was only meant to have Hugo defend me and keep the others out of the way. Evangeline had seen something about it earlier, and she said it was the best way to achieve my goal. I fear that something bad will happen to them. But I cannot care. No, I refuse to. Caring brings me back to my days with Alexander. I cannot go back there. That place is so dark, so alone. I cannot let those memories resurface. I must not love again.
I hate to be so cold to the girl. After all, she has been without a mother for so long. My existence is a cruel joke. I want to love, I want to care, but all that brings me is pain. But I am in pain without it.
I have read the girl's letters. She does not like me. I cannot be hurt by her comments. Everyone in this kingdom despises me. The only reason Hugo loves me is because of the spell. He will certainly propose to me soon. What will I find here, back in Hetar? Revenge? Redemption? Rejection?
The girl does, however, care for a boy. I have a hunch on his identity, but nothing can be for certain.
My hunch has been confirmed. The Prince cares equally for her. I must use this relationship to take my revenge. The dark spell to make her ill worked perfectly. Evangeline was right to do this; her help is unequaled. Although I did not intend for the spell to be strong, to make her so sick, this seems to fit excellently. I shall have to monitor her progress. She must not die…yet she cannot get in my way.
A tear dripped down Lady Millicent's face. A tear dripped down my cheek as well. What was that? The room spun once more, and then went black. Sleep was hopefully my sweet relief.
I slept for a time. How much, I have no clue. But I was vaguely aware of visitors in my room, including Father, Lady Millicent, Allodia, and Leo.
It was late. Everyone was gone. Leo entered my room. I would have smiled, had I been awake. He probably saved my life when he brought me here.
"Hello Mari. I know you're sleeping and you can't hear me, and you're probably delusional anyway, but I have to say this sometime. I care for you. A lot. Of any person I know, I trust you the most. I can tell you anything. I wish I could sneak out more often, especially now that you're here in this condition. If I could, I'd stay by your bedside every day and wait for you to get better. That's actually what I think about doing when I'm back home. You're amazing. True, you frustrate me sometimes. You're the most stubborn and…infuriating girl I've ever known! But when I think back on all that we do and say together, I realize how much fun you are to be with, and how much you influence me," he said gently, kneeling next to my bedside.
"People care for you, Mari. I care for you. Don't die on me, Mari. Please don't die," he whispered. Almost inaudibly, he said, "I'd hate to live without my best friend by my side."
Leo has told me about his small speech here. If I had been awake, I probably would have been so shocked and delighted at his confession. I probably would have burst into tears of joy and love. At the time, it would have been the sweetest thing I'd ever heard, let alone from a boy that I cared so much about. Leo was incredible. I was sick and asleep.
I knew I was delirious. I had to get better…for Leo…for Allodia…for Father…even for Lady Millicent. I no longer loathed her. But I was frightened of her, no doubt about it. She could hurt everyone. She could abandon us. My father could not handle it. I could not handle it if Father was hurt. I did love him so. I would protect my family, even if it meant getting hurt myself.
At one point, my eyes opened, and I was conscious for a few moments. My father stood, gazing out the window, the sunlight shining warmly upon his face. Half of his face was covered in the sunlight, the other half in the dark shadows of the room.
"Oh my sweet Joanna, whatever shall I do?" he wondered aloud. Joanna…that was my mother's name. I wish I had known her. Father sighed.
"She is so sick. I don't think I could stand it if she died. I might even die of heartache if she leaves us. Oh Joanna, Millicent is fine, but you have and always will be my first and only love. All I want is for my little girl to be happy. But if she's dead…no. I mustn't think about that. Please, let my little girl live," he said. Father was so good…so…very…kind.
The fever took over my whole body. My breath was shallow and jagged. I would sweat from the fever; yet feel so cold at the same time. Yes, I was cold…so very cold. Darkness all around me…