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England's Question
America's Answers
Survey
By waterrain
What do you recall back when you use to be a colony?
America closed his blue eyes for a moment, deciding what to write, and then he opened those eyes.
I do not remember nor do I wish to remember.
"I remember when I picked you instead of France and became your colony. I recall feeling lonely in that big house without you being there with me. Heh, I was pretty dependent on you." America commented and he closed his eyes. "That big house always felt so cold, lifeless, and empty without you. I felt incredibly alone."
"I recall being afraid that you might not come back because you thought I wouldn't be worth the trouble or that you had forgotten me or that something would bad happened to you, England." America stated calmly and his eyes remained closed as he thought for a moment before speaking. "I didn't stray back into the woods. I didn't leave the house area a lot since I was not sure when you would be back and I did not want to miss seeing you. I didn't want you thinking that I had left you. I wanted you to always know I was waiting for you and that I would always be there. You promised me that you would be back, but I was not sure when or what time you would be back."
'I use to play inside with those soldiers you had handmade for me and I had known that they would not leave me. I was extra careful with them since I didn't want them to break. After all even back then I was strong physically and I could have have broke them if I had been careless.' America briefly thought and his heart ached as the memories came to surface. He could always recall the sad, lonely, and depressing memories of when he was England's Colony.
"Of course you said don't worry, that you would be back, and I recall you telling me that you know what it was like being alone." America said to himself and he sighed. "I didn't understand why you couldn't take me along with you to Europe and stuff. Of course after a lot of time to myself at the time I figured you were just ashamed of me and didn't want anyone seeing me or thought I was not strong enough that I was weak and needed to protected. I decided that I would become stronger so that maybe I could go with you."
'There were good memories too, but it always seemed to me at the time that England always kept on leaving me behind. No matter what I did or say he always left me.' America mentally thought. 'I use to wonder and ask myself questions back when I was a colony. Why does he always leave me? Was it something I did? Why can't I go with him?'
"I didn't want you to leave me, England. I tried to go with you, but you never allowed me. I recall begging and pleading you not to leave me alone, but you always left me in the end. I recall saying I Won't Let You Go Back since I really wanted you to stay with me, but I didn't use my strength and force you to stay after all I didn't want you to be sad. It really did hurt like hell and felt like you ripped my heart out whenever you left. You had broke my heart each time. I loved you and I cared about you a lot. I didn't want you to leave and I just wanted to have you to myself. You were like a brother to me even though you didn't want me to think of you as a brother for some reason. Not like I'll tell or write that to you, England. I was not emotionally or mentally strong at the time, but then I grew up. I became mentally and emotionally strong where I didn't cry anymore about you leaving me behind." America said out loud to himself, he pinched his cheeks, and forced himself to smile brightly. "The past is best to be left in the past. After all thinking about the past does nothing at all."
'I was pitiful caring and missing him so deeply in the past when I was just a mere colony. I use to shed tears daily when he was not there and I use to be really dependent on England. I recall wishing he was there with me and when I needed him the most..He was not there.' America thought to himself and he opened his blue eyes. 'I recall how I grew taller, he was not there to witness it, and I no longer cried over him. I became stronger mentally and emotionally when I grew taller. I was already pretty strong physically ever since I was a child since I could spin a buffalo around with ease.'
"Heh, I'm happy that I became a Nation. I'm glad that I became Independent and I'm a hero." America commented cheerfully and he swiftly wiped his wet cheeks. His eyes were slightly puffy, but he ignored it and refused to admit to himself that he had shed some tears over the memories. Sad memories are at times remembered more than the happy memories. Just like how at times one remembers at certain times the negative memories more than the positive ones.
"The present and future is important. The past can't be changed unlike the present and future. I always look forward towards a hopeful happy and bright future. I can do anything I put my heart and mind to. I'm America The Beautiful, The Land Of The Free, and The Home To The Brave. I'm Independent and I can anything that I set out to do. Shedding tears does nothing expect hurt my eyes, make them look puffy, and make them feel as if they are going to fall out. No one is worth crying over, but the only one I'll cry over is myself like when all of my flaws are pointed out to me. I can handle anything and everything." America said happily, a bright smile on his lips, and hands on his hips. "Now I'll look at the next question on this Survey."
The blue eyed Nation did not know that England had been listening to every single word he had spoken.
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