Thank you everyone for being so patient with me. I'm officially done with high school and hope to dedicate a lot more time to this story throughout the summer. I'm sorry this chapter is short but I needed to end this one that was in progress and regain my thoughts. Thank you everyone for your continuing support.

Chapter 11: Save Me, I Don't Wanna Go

"Okay ladies, that's it for today," Brooke said setting her poms down. "Obviously were a little too distracted to continue." Peyton sighed in relief and walked quickly to the bleachers where she hastily threw her stuff in her bag. Grabbing her keys, she rushed out the door.

On the way to Lucas's house, Peyton could not stop the thoughts from swirling through her head. The image of Lucas lying lifeless on the gym floor was stamped in her memory. She remembers the terror, the moment of sheer horror as she watched the one person she loved fall to the ground with a sickening thud.

Reaching over she turns on the radio to try and block the thoughts. The Fray's, "How to Save a Life" fills her car and she wishes she could change the station, but she is mesmerized by the lyrics. Getting a sinking filling in her gut, the kind they say people get when someone they love is hurt, she pushes harder on the gas pedal.

After five agonizing minutes, Peyton pulls abruptly into Lucas's driveway. Leaping out of the car, she raced to Lucas's side door and began knocking. She hardly waits ten seconds before trying the doorknob. Finding it unlocked, she opens it and steps inside. The bed is unmade and clothes are strewn about the floor. She thinks for a moment that he must not be home, but then she sees his backpack on the floor. She takes a step back and does another survey of the room. She notices his closet door open, but the door on the right closed. Then she remembers that before his mom died she had a bathroom added on for him. At first she sees nothing alarming, but then something catches her eye. In the gap between the door and the floor is a shadow of what looks like a hand.

Peyton felt as though her heart stopped in her chest, as she raced toward the door. Trying the knob she finds it locked. Hands shaking with nerves, she grabs a bobby pin from her hair and begins to jimmy the lock. Finally she hears a click and pushes open the door.

A sob chokes from her mouth at the sight in front of her. Lucas lies on the floor, his body completely limp. By his arm there sits a puddle of blood that is still growing from a gash on his arm. A bloody razor blade lies on the ground a couple feet away.

Peyton falls to her knees beside him, unsure if he's even still alive. She finds a pulse, though somewhat weak. Looking around she spots a towel which she grabs and wraps around his arm to stop the bleeding.

"Come on Lucas," Peyton pleads. "You need to wake up for me sweetie." Blood was quickly staining the towel. Desperately looking around, Peyton spots the bottle of Aspirin on the sink. "Shit!" Now she remembers Lucas mentioning at lunch that he had a headache, and when she offered him Tylenol, he'd turned it down saying he'd taken some of what was his mom's Aspirin because Keith hadn't bought more Ibuprofen. "Damnit Lucas! Aspirin thins the blood."

Racing to grab her purse in his room, she dumps out its contents in a frantic search for her phone. Punching in

9-1-1, she races back into the bathroom and continues to try and slow the bleeding. "Pick up, pick up."

"9-1-1, what is your emergency?"

"Yes my friend," she says choking back a sob, "he's cut his arm and I can't stop the bleeding."

"Okay, just stay calm. Can I get the address?"

"Um…2211 Parkridge. Please hurry!"

"An ambulance is on its way." Peyton hung up and squeezed the towel with both hands.

"Come on Lucas," she cried, tears streaming down her face. "I almost lost you once; don't do this to me again." Peyton heard sirens and ran to open the door. Seeing her, the ambulance stopped and three paramedics quickly got out, grabbing a gurney. "He's in the bathroom," she shouted pointing to the opening door.

Immediately the paramedics swarmed around Lucas, checking his pulse and surveying the wound. "Pulse is weak and thready," one said. The youngest looking of the three turned to Peyton, who was hovering just outside the door, and asked her something, but she couldn't make it out.

"What?"

"Do you know if he took anything?"

"Yea, Aspirin for a headache."

"Did he take anything else?"

No was right on the tip of her tongue, but as she was about to reply she realized, she didn't know anymore. He'd become so distant. "I…don't know," she said starting a fresh set of tears. The paramedic accepted that answer and went back to helping the others work on Lucas. They had his arm wrapped in heavy gauze now and a breathing mask on him.

"Okay, move him on three." They got him on the gurney. "Are you riding with him?" one of them asked Peyton.

"Yes." As they moved him, Peyton looked over her shoulder and saw Keith passed out in a chair in the family room. She turned away with a look of disgust.

In the ambulance, she sat in the corner out of the way while the paramedics continued their work on Lucas. The driver called the hospital over the radio. "17 year old male. Significant blood loss. Make sure a trauma room is clear and prepare for transfusions." Peyton couldn't believe this was happening. Lucas was such a good guy.

The next minutes became a blur for Peyton as she sat in an ambulance watching the love of her life hanging on the balance between life and death. He looked so pale and lifeless lying there on the stretcher. She wanted nothing more than to just hold him and make everything better, but she knew that this time she couldn't.

Now it was time to play the waiting game. Peyton had watched as Lucas was wheeled behind the double doors of the emergency room and she was shown to the waiting room, where several other people sat waiting, looking troubled. Picking up her cell phone she began to dial Nathan's number.

"Ma'am, I'm afraid you'll have to either use the payphone or call outside. No cell phones in the hospital," a nurse called to her from the desk.

"Right, sorry," Peyton said and quickly walked through the automatic doors and into the warm evening.

"Hello?" Nathan answered. Haley sat cuddled up beside him on the couch. The two had just gotten back from shopping and were now relaxing in front of the television.

"Nate, it's Lucas, he's…" Peyton broke off choking back sobs.

"Peyton?" Nathan said removing his arm from around Haley and sitting up straighter showing his worry. Haley next to him sat up wondering anxiously to know who it was. She had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach that something had happened.

"Yea, I found Lucas this afternoon. Nate, he…he tried to kill himself."

"What?" Nathan now stood up. "You must be wrong; I mean it had to have been an accident."

"It was no accident Nate. I found him in the bathroom; he cut his wrist. Please just come to the hospital." With that she hung up.

"Who was it?" Haley asked desperate for an answer, "What happened?"

"It was Peyton," Nathan said staring down at his phone. "Lucas is in the hospital. He cut his wrist. He tried to kill himself Haley."

"Oh my god," Haley said covering her mouth. Nathan went and wrapped his arms around his wife.

"We should get to the hospital. Peyton probably needs the support."

Back at the hospital, Peyton hung up her phone and leaned back against the cold concrete wall of the hospital building. It was early evening and a storm was on its way. Dark clouds rolled in, covering the sun, and lightening flashed in the distance followed by the occasional rumble of thunder.

It seemed fitting to her. That outside was so dark, like something bad was approaching. It suited her mood. Everything was falling apart and she couldn't figure out for the life of her how to put things back together. Things she could fix, but people were a mystery to her. The cool wind blew fiercely whipping her curls around her face. The rain started to fall, but she didn't go inside. She stood there as the pellets of rain increased in quantity and speed and let them fall about her, wetting her clothes and hair.

Peyton loved the rain because no one can tell that you're crying. Sitting there in the growing cold, Peyton slumped to the asphalt and let her tears fall mixing with the rain.