With every blink, Beth's eyes felt like were rubbing over sandpaper. The baby in her arms lay looking up at her, Lori's eyes. Beth rocked her gently as she walked, heading towards the common room in which her father was, in search of baby formula. She had not slept a wink, what with Judith and the fear for her sister. They had still not got back, and her stomach had been tied in nauseating knots all night.
Carl opened up the door for her.
She entered the room, her eyes on the baby, aware of the four brand new, strange pairs of eyes on her.
'How old is the baby?' the woman asked, getting up from where she had been sitting.
'Couple'a months.' Hershel told her.
'To be honest, we never thought we'd see another baby,' The woman said, walking over to Beth, 'beautiful,' she said, looking down at Judith.
'Thanks,' Beth smiled shyly.
'How're you feeling?' the woman asked, concerned.
Beth looked at her, then across at her father.
'She's not mine,' she said.
'Where's her mother?' the woman asked, looking around at the now quiet room. 'I'm sorry.' she said quietly, understanding their silence.
'Man, you people have been through the mill,' the man said as Beth headed back out with Judith. She didn't feel much like hanging around all of these new people, their prying eyes and questions. She wanted to help them, but the baby in her arms was heavy and her eyelids were heavier.
. . .
Beth was lying on her bed with the baby tucked up beside her, exhaustion finally giving way to sleep, when she heard the commotion begin. Jolting awake, she found enough time to leave Judith with someone before running out to the front gates, in time to see her sister climbing out of a car.
She ran to her, throwing her arms around her, tears spilling down her face. Maggie held her back as their father stood beside them. He gently caressed Maggie's arm, which was covered in angry red welts and bruises. Beth let go of her sister and went to Rick, throwing her arms around his neck, grateful he had returned her sister to him. She stepped back, looking around. Looking for Daryl.
'Where's Daryl?' she asked.
Rick looked at her through tired and defeated eyes. Her smile fading, she turned to her father.
'Take your sister inside,' Hershel said to Beth.
Beth slowly walked towards her sister, but a sickening feeling had crawled its way in to her stomach. She took her sister's hand and led her indoors, trying to push away the feeling of dread with the much stronger feelings of relief and gratitude that the sight of her alive and well sister brought.
Maggie did not speak as they walked, hand in hand, to the cell blocks. Her eyes were dark, her skin was pale and sallow. Beth was frightened.
'What happened?' she asked, sitting Maggie down on her bed.
When she didn't answer, she sat beside her, putting one arm around her shoulders.
'He-' Maggie started, but her voice caught in her throat. She cleared her throat, frowning. 'He took off my-' she gestured to her shirt, 'he threatened me. To rape me.'
Beth stared at her sister in horror, mouth agape.
'He didn't.' Maggie said, tears beginning to emerge in her eyes. 'But I was so frightened, Beth.'
'Oh, Maggie,' Beth sighed, pulling her sister into a deep hug. She held her there for a long time, stroking her older sister's dark hair, soothing her as best she could.
'You're safe now,' she whispered to her, 'you and Glen.'
Maggie nodded, then looked up at her sister's face, so young yet so wise.
'Thank you,' she whispered.
Beth shook her head, frowning. Maggie didn't need to thank her. She was just grateful she was home safe.
'Daryl didn't come back with us,' Maggie said softly, her eyes searching Beth's.
'What?' Beth asked, confused.
'We found his brother.'
'Merle?'
'Mm,' Maggie nodded, removing herself from Beth's arms and pushing her hair back from her face, 'he kept us locked up, beat us, threw a walker at Glen.'
'Merle did?' Beth asked, shocked. Merle was alive?
'But Daryl still went with him.' Maggie said, her dark eyes staring down at the floor.
'What?' Beth didn't understand, 'went where with him? What's he doing? What's going on?'
'He left with him. He's gone.' Maggie said.
'When is he coming back?' Beth asked, still frowning. 'Maggie, is he coming back?'
Maggie turned to look at Beth, holding her gaze for what felt to Beth like an age. She shook her head.
Beth turned to look at the wall. Her mouth had gone dry.
'He's not coming back.' She said flatly.
'No,' Maggie murmured.
'He promised.' Beth said, running her hands down her face. She suddenly felt sick. 'He promised me.'
Beth could feel Maggie watching her, but she was overcome with emotion. Her sister was alive and safe, that was all that should matter, but Daryl had left.
Had left her.
Merle was alive, and Daryl had gone with Merle. Merle, who he hated, surely he hated. Merle had beaten her sister, had beaten Glen. And Daryl had gone with him.
'He's coming back, though,' she said.
'Beth,' Maggie said softly, 'I don't think he is.'
Beth stood up, her hands rubbing at her face as if trying to wake herself up.
'I'm sorry-' she said, shaking her head, 'I have to-' she didn't know what she was doing. What she was saying.
She left Maggie sitting on the bed, spotting her father heading their way, which she was grateful for – Maggie wouldn't be alone. But she couldn't just sit around.
She passed her father without an explanation, heading out of the prison. Her feet seemed to make their own way down to the gates, where the cars they had arrived back in still were.
He'll be there Beth told herself as she walked, he's coming back.
She reached the gates, looking out to the stray walkers who were ambling around aimlessly outside. There was no Daryl. Anger welled up inside of her. She had grown to trust Daryl Dixon, was beginning to see him as a friend, a companion. Wasn't there a connection between them? He had saved her life. She shook her head, trying to clear it. Maybe she had imagined all of it, maybe he had no particular feelings towards her either way.
She yelled aloud, kicking out at the fence. Still angry, she picked up a heavy rock and threw it as far as could, grunting with the effort. She wanted to scream, to tear her hair out. There had been too many emotions coursing through her small body the last couple of weeks.
'Hey, hey,' a voice called.
Beth turned around to see Carol, and a new burst of anger erupted in her.
'No no no,' she yelled, 'not you!'
'Beth!' Carol gasped, 'what's the matter? Is Maggie okay?'
'Maggie's fine,' Beth spat, kicking out at another heavy rock.
Carol stared at her until Beth's anger began to ebb. If anyone would understand her frustration, she realised, it was Carol. Carol actually was Daryl's friend.
'He's gone,' she said, turning to face Carol.
Carol swallowed.
'He is.' She said.
Beth turned away again, anger welling back up inside of her.
'Why!' she cried, looking out to the wooded area beyond the perimeters, 'why did he go?'
'He couldn't leave his brother. Not again,' Carol said softly.
Beth turned to look at her again.
'What about us?' she cried. What about me.
'You like him,' Carol said, 'so do I.'
'We're weak without him,' Beth said, hearing the desperation in her own voice.
'We'll get through this,' Carol told her, coming towards her, 'Tyreese and his friends seem capable.'
'I'm pissed at him for leaving,' Beth said honestly, looking up into Carol's grey eyes.
'Don't be.' Carol said, 'Daryl has his code. This world needs men like that.'
Beth shook herself free from Carol's grip.
'We need men like that.' She said, feeling the tears appear in her eyes - the tears she had furiously been fighting back. 'We need Daryl.'
'Hey,' Carol said seriously, 'we don't need anyone.'
'But I want him,' Beth cried, the tears spilling out and down her face. She shook her head, trying to make them go away, but the pain in her chest had burst. The sickness she had felt at the loss of her sister had come back tenfold at the thought of never seeing Daryl again. She never realised how much she had grown to like him, how much she relied on him. He was something special in this goddamn world, refreshing. Beth liked him. She liked him a lot. She was an outsider, useless to the rest of the group; Daryl had been starting to make her feel differently about that. He had offered to teach her to hunt, to fight, to go on runs. Without him everything suddenly felt pointless – pointless and empty.
'He was my friend,' she sobbed.
Carol brought Beth into a firm hug.
'Mine too,' she said.
'Let's go get him!' Beth said suddenly, pulling away, 'we'll find him! He taught you to track and – and he was teaching me, too. We'll find him!'
'He isn't lost, Beth,' Carol said softly, 'he chose to go.'
Beth looked up at Carol. She finally saw the sorrow that was in her face, too. Daryl was loved here, he was wanted. But he had left. She crumbled.