Authors Note: So someone left an anonymous review (which I really wished they hadn't, because I totally respect anyone that actually has the nerve to say something negative about a story. I'm usually that person anyway, so it would be stupid for me to get mad at someone for saying something bad) saying I should make Max tougher and less pathetic. Which I totally get. It's hard trying to keep Max in character though, while having her feel these things. She can't just be stoic about it all. Then there really wouldn't be a story.
It's made a point though, I believe in the past, and definitely in future chapters I know for sure, that she recognizes that she's changed. That's what time and having a stable household can do for you. So I'm sorry if you feel that way, but it can't really change, or else there really isn't a story.
Love and War
Chapter Eleven
I pressed my eyes tightly together, vainly believing if I did so I could consequentially block out reality as well. It had a way of creeping up on you regardless though, no matter what ends you went to to evade it. Groaning I burrowed deeper into my pillow, yanking the blanket over my head. The darkness there seemed so much more whole, soft cotton filling my mouth and ears. I longed for the fuzzy feeling of sleep to take over.
I could only take so much of nothing, though, and soon found myself rolling out of bed; my feet colliding with the plush carpet. I rubbed my eyes tiredly, feeling a weight on my shoulders that was only half of the pressure in my chest, moaning for release. My eyes felt swollen and irritated, no doubt due to my excessive crying from the night before. Not to mention my dreams; haunted by his apologies that meant nothing. They were just empty promises, made on a whim he probably never intended on keeping.
That didn't make it hurt any less.
Shuffling lazily to the door I hesitated, the cool touch of the knob under my hand sparking a thought in my mind. I calculated the odds of him being there, somewhere just around the corner. I couldn't face him. Not now. Emotionally I couldn't stand the blow just seeing him would deliver.
Quietly I eased the door open, poking my head into the hallway. Glancing reflexively towards his domain I saw a film of light coming from under his door, while it itself was shut up tight. Breathing a sigh of relief I crept to the stairs, sliding down them with ease. I was safe for the time being.
When I passed by the living room the TV was off, not a whisper coming from inside. This was odd, considering at least Gazzy was usually up, watching cartoons with a fascination I would never understand, as Angel battled for the remote just for the sake of starting an argument. Padding further down the hall I detected faint murmurs coming from the kitchen, the hardwood cool on my bare feet. Not realizing my actions, I had unconsciously began trailing my fingers along the wall beside me; a habit I had picked up from Iggy, though it didn't have much of a purpose for me.
Upon entering I was dismayed to find no food cooking just yet, a rumbling in my stomach justifying my motivation. With my brow furrowed I stared over at the table, where Iggy and Nudge were seated; detachedly speaking in quiet undertones.
"Morning," I said by way of greeting, nodding in their direction. Iggy lifted a negligent hand, not looking my way; whereas Nudge perked up instantly, shooting me a blazing smile, her brilliant white teeth sparkling. I raised an eyebrow, immediately pausing. Something was obviously up. Sighing, I addressed the overly-attentive fifteen year old.
"What do you want?"
She gave me an innocently humble look, her eyes wide and her mouth slack in surprise. "What do you mean? Can't a girl smile every once in awhile without wanting something?"
"Yes, girls can. You, on the other hand, not so much." I folded my arms across my chest, taking up a defiant stance. I had a feeling this was going to be a good one.
"I don't know what you're talking about," she scoffed, tossing her curls haughtily over her shoulder. She sniffed disdainfully, placing her hands in her lap; interlocking her fingers. She squared her shoulders, facing me full on.
"Look, just ask whatever you want to ask," I said crossly, rolling my eyes. "I'm not in the mood."
Nudge was awfully silent for a few moments, the intolerable ticking of the clock in the background gauging out the time in quick succession. She seemed to be deep in though, assessing her chances.
"I was thinking-" she began finally, giving me another demure smile, before Iggy interrupted her.
"Well that's a first," he crowed, grinning impishly, a devilish look in his cloudy eyes. Nudge shot him a hair raising glare, which was a wasted effort on the blind pyro, seeing as he just kept smiling and smiling.
"Iggy," I reprimanded him, biting my lip to hold in my own laugh at his immaturity, as well as Nudge's reaction. I fought to keep my composure, focusing on using a stern tone.
"As I was saying," Nudge said emphatically. "I was thinking that, if it's alright with you, because of course I would ask you first, because not asking would be wrong and untrustworthy and all, and I think I've proved I can be trusted; that maybe I could, possibly, go to the movies. A bunch of my friends from school are going, and they invited me, so really it would be rude not to go. Just saying. Plus, I would be back in time to see Fang off too. I would never miss that. I swear!"
I gritted my teeth, my jaw clenched tightly.
"Yeah, whatever. You can go," I muttered, turning to face the window; my back to them. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, forbidden tears burning behind the lids at her no so subtle reminder of the very event I was dreading the most.
"Oh thank you, thank you, thank you! You're the best EVER Max! I'll love you for the rest of eternity," Nudge squealed in delight, hugging me around the waist. I patted her hand, smiling despite myself. Teenagers. Jeez.
She was just flouncing out of the room when she suddenly turned, remembering something. "Oh, and you owe me twenty bucks Ig!"
Iggy grumbled under his breath; something that suspiciously sounded like 'dammit', though I'm sure I must have heard wrong, because Iggy was the perfect gentleman, and would never say such things. He angrily ran a hand through his hair, glaring at me forcefully.
"Thanks a lot Max!"
"I do what I can," I replied with a mockingly indifferent shrug, though he couldn't see the gesture. He seemed to sense it well enough though, because his eyes narrowed further.
"Anyway," I said, changing the subject. "When's breakfast?"
"Whenever the prince decides to get his butt down here to tell me what he wants. Apparently since he's leaving, we have to treat him like he's God. It hasn't even started and I'm already sick of it," Iggy complained, lounging back in his chair.
I had to clamp down on the inside of my cheek to refrain from saying something horrible about Fang, the knowledge that he was leaving later burning a hole in my heart.
"I'm going out for awhile," I said suddenly, already reaching for my jacket. "Don't wait around for me. I don't know when I'll be back."
Iggy gave me a peculiar look. "Wait a minute, where are you-?"
"Bye!" I shouted as I exited as quickly as I could, dodging his inquiries. I slipped my shoes on at the door, allowing the screen to bang shut behind me, listening to it clatter and rattle back into place.
Then I was off, running to the edge of the porch. I stretched my wings out behind my back, feeling a slight tickling sensation as the air rustled the feathers; lifting me into the sky. I spiraled above the treetops, not once looking down. Closing my eyes I breathed in the crisp morning air, letting the weightlessness of flying take over all my other senses. It was easier to block out unwanted emotions that way.
Not paying any attention to direction I drifted through the vast sea of sky, joined by birds curious as to what sort of creature I was exactly every once in awhile. Apparently my thought process was connected to my stomach, though, because I found myself steering towards town. With a rumbling that resounded in my abdomen I landed in a copse of trees just on the outskirts of the small strip mall, shoving my hands deep in my pockets as I slipped unobtrusively onto the sidewalk.
The few people about so early in the morning ignored me for the most part, and each other. Those I was more acquainted with smiled and waved, and I returned the gesture halfheartedly. Despite the cool weather and brilliant sunshine, I couldn't help the pang of sorrow reverberating in my chest. Today wasn't a good day. Not at all. It almost seemed like nature was mocking my despair.
I browsed the few shop windows as I walked along, my destination clear as my feet unconsciously followed the path. It wasn't until I had slowed considerably at the delicious smell, did I realize what my subconscious intent had been all along. Pushing through the door a puff of warm air wafted over me, the scent of pancakes, eggs and sizzling bacon smothering my senses.
Heaven.
My feet scuffed on the polished, streaked checkered tile as I wandered to the back of the restaurant, sliding into a corner booth; the worn leather smooth and crackling beneath my fingertips. The familiarity of the diner was refreshing to my battered emotions, considering the damage they had recently taken. Ignoring the menu placed between the bright yellow and red bottles of ketchup and mustard I spun the salt shaker between my fingers, waiting for someone to approach.
"Well if I ain't ever seen such a long face," crowed a voice heavy with a thick Southern drawl. A smile passed my lips; immediate and instinctively. I glanced up at the robust waitress, whose grinning eyes and tactful smile made even the most depressed person feel on top of the world.
"Dina!" I exclaimed. The soft folds of her weathered face creased further as her teeth flashed bright; her thin, course gray hair tied into a bun on her head.
"If it isn't that Miss Maximum Ride," she said heartily, pronouncing my name Max-ee-mum. "S'been a long time coming darling. Tell me, what's been keeping you afoot?"
"I'm sorry," I apologized instantly, feeling ashamed. "Some things have come up and . . . It's just . . . Not good." My mind instantly flashed to Fang, a frown pulling the corners of my mouth down.
"If that's got anything to do with that mighty frown of yours, I'd be bettin' the same," she said sympathetically, her blue eyes shining. "Now tell me darling, what's eatin' ya?"
I swallowed thickly, my eyes burning at her kindness. If anyone, I trusted her not to judge me too harshly.
"Do you think it's selfish for someone to object fully to another's decision, even though they had good intentions?" I inquired, squirming restlessly as my fingers thrummed on the tabletop.
"Could this all be pertaining to a certain almost-soldier?" Dina asked, smiling sadly at me now.
I nodded, not questioning how she knew. That was just Dina. There wasn't a thing you could hide.
"Now darling, I'm gonna give you my one philosophy when it comes to love, because if by golly there's ever been a' two more so than you and that dark young man of yours I'll be damned if I've ever seen 'em. And that's simply; love and war can blind us. It can tear us apart and put us through hell or high water. No doubt we're gonna cry, and scream, and put up a fuss. In the end though, it's only the truest of true love that can overcome that war, and unite the separated once more. Does that make any inkling a' sense?"
I vaguely recall nodding my assent, while my mind was still caught up on her words. Never in them was there mentioned the betrayal I felt at Fang's decision, or the full depth of my pain. What about the constant ache in my chest? What about how stupid I felt for believing in him . . . in the promises he had made?
What about all that?
Third Person POV
The louder chatter and noise, along with the oppressing amount of people, was really starting to ride on Fang's nerves, which were already so frazzled he thought he might snap. The people pressed in from all sides, bumping and jostling one another as they shared their last goodbyes.
"Dude, I can't say I'm going to miss you busting all my plans . . . but I'm going to miss you. Indirectly, of course," Iggy chortled, slapping Fang on the back as he grinned.
"I can't say I'm going to miss your obnoxiousness either," Fang said dryly, returning the gesture as he thumped Iggy on the back with enough force to make him stumble slightly. He righted himself quickly, mock-glaring in Fang's general direction.
"I'm going to miss every part of you," Angel mumbled, staring at her shoes as she spoke. Her hands were clasped in front of her, her fingers intertwined. She refused to meet anyone's eyes, a tell-tale sniffle escaping her every once in awhile.
Fang suppressed a weary sigh, crouching down in front of the ten year old. "It's going to be okay, Angel. I promise," he said soothingly, wiping away a dirty tear.
"How do you know?" Her lower lip quivered as she turned her ashen blue eyes on him.
"Have I ever lied to you?" he retorted, raising an eyebrow. She shook her head slowly after a pause, her teeth wearing a hole in her lip as she gnawed at the flesh there.
"I'm going to miss you, too!" Gazzy piped up, returning his gaze to Fang; whom he looked up to so much now. He thought it would be epic to be a real live solider. Not just playing one in a video game. Obviously, he now realized it wasn't the same. Of course it would be close to the past, but with weapons this time. Glorious, glorious weapons, which was so much cooler than hand-to-hand combat, in his opinion.
A corner of Fang's mouth quirked up as he ruffled the Gasman's hair; Gazzy ducking out of his reach with an exuberant laugh. It wasn't long before his attention had roamed elsewhere, though; examining the others in their uniforms.
Nudge turned to him next, smiling weakly. Her eyes were watery, and when she opened her mouth -for once- nothing came out. She seemed incapable of speech. She stood there, like a gaping fish, for another moment before finally snapping her mouth shut and shrugging meekly. She had nothing to add.
"Is Max here yet?" Iggy asked after a long stretch of silence, voicing the one thing they had all been wondering.
"No," Nudge replied miserably, then added on quickly with a brief look at Fang; "But I'm sure she will be soon."
Another aching silence overtook them, no one offering any more consolations. They didn't know what else to say. Nothing could make the situation any better. Yet still time commenced, as the crowd dispersed; becoming thinner and thinner.
"Maybe I should call her?" Nudge offered, already reaching for her cell phone. Fang nodded, watching intently as she dialed Max's familiar number. He suddenly found the investment in such technology brilliant.
After what seemed like forever Max finally answered, Nudge perking up instantly.
"Max, where are you? You're like super late, and Fang has to go soon, and you're not here yet. Well, obviously. But still, where are you?" Nudge demanded, the words flying from her mouth in one jumble.
Nudge's brow furrowed as Max spoke, and then; "What do you mean you're-! . . . But Max-! . . . You can't honestly do thi- . . . Max? Helloooo? Max!"
"What's going on?" Fang inquired, his voice carefully devoid of emotion. "Where is she?"
With jerky movements Nudge disconnected the call, pocketing the phone. When she met Fang's eyes the remorse there was enough for him. He knew. But he needed to hear her confirm it anyway.
"I'm so sorry, Fang . . ." she murmured, sounding crushed.
"Where is she?" he repeated, this time with more force, as the truth hit him square in the chest.
"She's not coming."
Authors Note: And I'm pretty positive you'll have something to say about all that . . . in a review. Please?