"All students please evacuate because Voldy's a comin'," McGonagall said.

"Dur," Pansy said.

"Please follow your fellow Prefects who will lead you to safety," McGonagall said.

"All eyes on me in the center of the ring just like a circus-hey wait a second! Ah. Okay. This is Lord Voldemort, requesting you bring Harry Potter is brought to me because he got my McDonald's order wrong," Voldy's voice called out to the Great Hall.

Several people laughed.

"No you insolent fools! Is that honestly what you thought I wanted Harry Potter for? I want to kill him!" Voldy said, "So just Fed Ex him to me in the Shrieking Shack."
"Hey, there's Harry!" Colin called out, pointing to Harry.

"Well who did you think I was, Moaning Myrtle?!" Harry said.

"Start the evacuation…now!" McGonagall shouted, and everyone fled from the room.

Harry plopped down next to the Weasleys.

"Any sign of Ron and Hermione?" Harry asked.

"Uh, not yet-"
"Okay here's the battle plan: we're gonna totally wing it! Just kidding, we'll place a whole bunch of Fed Ex boxes all of over the Grounds and Voldy will think you're in them! Meanwhile we'll be leading people out to fight on the grounds, and then we'll fight people, and Fred and George will seal all the passages, and we'll see what happens!" Kingsley said.

"Okay!" everyone said.

"Oh! I gotta go look!" Harry said.

Everyone gave Harry a puzzled look as he dashed off.

"Lovely weather we're having today, aren't we Harry?" Nearly Headless Nick said.

"Who's the ghost for Ravenclaw?" Harry asked.

"Oh, there she is!" Nick said, pointing to another ghost.

"Where's the diadem?" Harry screamed at the ghost.

She then launched into a lecture about how it won't do anything for him and blah blah blah, and then Harry screamed, "I just need it for defeating Voldy, okay?!"
"I just remembered, I lost it at a slumber party, sorry," she said.

Harry screamed and ran around Hogwarts like a mad man til he found Ron and Hermione after he turned a corner.

"Where the heck have you been?!" Harry screamed, "I've been running around like a mad man-"
"You usually are, Harry," Hermione interrupted.

"Oh come on!" Harry said, "That's not important now, where were you?!"
"We went to the Chamber of Secrets," Ron said.

"What the heck were you doing there?! At least I did something useful," Harry said, "Wait a second, I didn't do anything useful…"
"Well Hermione always wondered what a basilisk looked like…" Ron said.

"That's what you did there?!"
"Is that honestly what you thought we did there?! We got rid of the cup, stupid!" Ron said.

"Sorry, I think I have too much adrenaline in my system right now…but you did?! I know where the diadem is now! So we both did something sort of useful!" Harry said.

"Well don't you know how we did it?" Ron said.

"Of course!"
So Ron launched into a long explanation, and he and Hermione admired each other's work, and then he mentioned something about the house elves leaving and blah blah blah, and then Hermione jumped out and kissed him.

Then Ron lifted her up and it was very romantic etc. and Harry, who had just processed what happened, shrieked, "Hey!"
"HEY!" he tried again.

"THERE'S STILL A WAR GOING ON!"

"Well fine, if it's make out time, then gosh darn it, it's make out time!" Harry yelled, storming off.

He rounded the corner then said, "Ginny!"
"Harry!"
"It's make out time!"
"It is?" Ginny said, a little puzzled.

Harry dashed over and began to make out with her.

"Hey!" Neville shouted, "I thought this was a war, not make out time!"
*grins proudly* Very long chapter there, that should keep you readers satisfied! :D