Chapter 11
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
AN1: Thank you for the support. Please leave a review. DOUBLE UPDATE TODAY. I'll post the second chapter in about an hour.
AN2: TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR DOMESTIC ABUSE/UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS AND IMPLIED/REFRENCES TO FORCED SEXUAL ACTS.
"Where should I start?" Mike asks as he walks over to his couch.
"The beginning is always a good place." Harvey says as Mike sits down.
"Trevor has been my friend since I was seven." Mike reveals, "With my memory, how smart I am, it's never been easy for me to make friends." Mike admits, "When I was a kid, growing up I only had two friends, Trevor and Tess." Mike explains, "They were kind to me, didn't treat me like a freak, stood up to bullies for me." Mike reveals, remembering all the times that Trevor stood up to bullies for him, dealt with bullies for him.
"And in return you gave them your loyalty." Harvey realises and Mike nods.
"I was fifteen when I realised I was gay." Mike reveals, answering one question that Harvey had, "One day Trevor, Tess and I were hanging out and Trevor had pot. He and Tess, who were both sixteen, convinced me to give it a try." Mike reveals, "I kissed Trevor that day. He reacted badly, pushed me away." He explains to Harvey, "It was the first time Trevor broke my heart."
"I'm sorry." Harvey says, having no idea what else to say, though judging by the way Mike said first time he guesses that it wasn't the last.
"For over two weeks Trevor and I avoided each other, but then one day he sat next to me in class like everything was normal. Turns out he wanted to cheat off me because he didn't study for a test." Mike explains and Harvey can't help but frown, "I moved so that he couldn't cheat off me and after class Trevor and I talked and he said that he needed time to figure things out, and that until then he wanted us to go back to how we used to be." Mike explains.
"While that happened did he continue to cheat off you?" Harvey asks, honestly understanding by that little amount of information why Jessica would suspect that Trevor was involved in his own abduction.
"Yeah." Mike confirms, "For months when we would get high Trevor and I would fool around, but then Trevor would refuse to talk about it, or even acknowledge it when he was sober." Mike explains, "A year later Trevor, Tess and I were arrested for possession. I had to call Mom from the police station in the middle of the night."
"That would have gone down well." Harvey comments, being sure that Jessica would have been beyond pissed at that.
"It really didn't." Mike confirms, "It was only a small amount so it didn't go on my record, but Mom was furious as soon as we got home she told me that I wasn't allowed to see Trevor anymore."
"What changed?" Harvey asks curious.
"I told Mom that I loved him, and asked for a chance to prove that I could make good choices, that I wouldn't let Trevor drag me down." Mike explains to Harvey, "I told her that if she forced me to cut Trevor out of my life then I'd never forgive her." Mike explains, "Mom had strict conditions, but she gave me a chance to prove that I wouldn't let Trevor drag me down, and I agreed to them, and I promised that I wouldn't get high again."
"How long that last?" Harvey asks curious as he knows, thanks to the conversation they had after Louis took Mike to the club, that Mike has broken that promise.
"A while. Even though I was around Tess and Trevor when they were high I didn't get high myself, I didn't want to let Mom down again, and I didn't want to have to cut Trevor out." Mike admits, "I didn't see it back then but Trevor would use my feelings for him, to get me to do things for him and then treat me like crap most of the time."
"Why the hell do you keep giving him second chances?" Harvey asks angrily, not understanding why.
"Because he was the first person I ever loved, he was my best friend, and I always remember the person he once was." Mike admits, "He has a hold on me, and I can't break it, and there are times where I honestly don't want to."
"What else has he done to you?" Harvey asks, trying to push down the anger he is feeling down as he is pretty sure that he's not going to like what Mike is going to say.
"That's a complicated answer." Mike admits, as he avoids looking at Harvey, "When college application time came around I only applied to NYU because that's where Trevor was going, even though I really wanted to go to Harvard." Mike reveals.
"Your idea or his?" Harvey asks, already being able to suspect the answer.
"His."
"He had that much of a hold on you?" Harvey asks, sounding less than happy as while he doesn't think there is anything wrong with NYU, he went there after all, he knows that for someone like Mike to have only applied to NYU then Trevor was even more controlling than he thought.
"Yeah." Mike says with a nod, "Mom told me I would regret that, and unsurprisingly she was right." Mike says, reaching over to the bottle of Vodka to take a drink.
"What happened?" Harvey asks, once Mike takes a drink.
"I started to see the side of Trevor Mom always saw." Mike admits, "I applied for a transfer to Harvard and the day I found out it got approved, the day before I ran into you at the elevators, Trevor and I went to a party to celebrate." Mike explains, "There was a poker game. I knew I was going to win, but then the people I was playing against bet more money than I had so Trevor lent me the money, and the people I was playing against cheated, and I lost." Mike reveals, "What I didn't know, because if I did I wouldn't have taken the money, is that the money wasn't Trevor's he borrowed it from a drug dealer he was selling for." Mike explains, causing Harvey to once more frown, "What I didn't tell Mom, though I pretty sure could guess, is that Trevor tried to get me to use my memory to cheat so that he could sell answers to tests to get the money back. I went to Mom instead." Mike explains.
"Which is where you were coming from when we ran into each other." Harvey realises.
"Yeah." Mike confirms, "Her condition for giving the money was having me move back home, I had been living with Trevor in the dorms, and I had to spend all summer working in the firm. She gave me to my eighteenth birthday, five days later, to move home or she'd do it by force." Mike says and Harvey looks slightly amused at that because he knows that Jessica would have done that, "I didn't tell Trevor about the condition, I just went with him to pay back the money." Mike explains, "Two days later I arrived back at the dorms and found Trevor making out with a guy, and the worst part was that he was completely sober." Mike says and Harvey can hear the pain in his voice, "He had never been with me when he wasn't high, and when he was sober he always pretended like we weren't together." Mike explains, causing Harvey to frown as he might not know Mike that well, but even he knows that Mike deserves a hell of a lot better, "It was like a veil had been lifted and I saw everything differently, finally saw how he was really treating me. I moved out of the dorm within the hour and spent the rest of the school year avoiding him." Mike explains.
"If you cut him out, when you let him back in?"
"The end of the summer I decided to meet with him before leaving for Harvard." Mike explains, "He tried to tell me that he wanted us to be together, but I told him that I could never believe him when he was high, but that I was always just a call away, that I would never turn my back." Mike explains to Harvey.
"That was a mistake." Harvey tells Mike, "You should have just walked away and never looked back."
"I've heard that before." Mike admits, and Harvey is sure that Jessica would have told him that, at least once, "Over the next few years I would only see Trevor when I was home for the holidays, and well, the best way to put it is that he'd use me, for my mind, or my body, or use my feelings to get me to do things for him, but I didn't see it because he made me feel special, made me feel loved."
"And you didn't see the red flags there?" Harvey asks, sounding less than happy and not being able to believe that Mike didn't see that, though he now understands why Jessica hates Trevor so much.
"You heard Mom, I have a blind spot when it comes to Trevor." Mike explains, "He gets me to believe that things are going to be different, that he's different, and because that's what I've always wanted I believe him. I let him back in, give him another chance and for a few days' things are amazing."
"But they don't stay that way." Harvey assumes.
"No." Mike confirms, "One of those times, right after I started at the DA's office, ended with Mom needed to come to Atlantic City to get me out of the trouble that Trevor had gotten me into, and that's not even the worst thing." Mike admits, the vodka starting to affect him more so he doesn't even realise what he said.
"What was?" Harvey asks, needing to know so that he can figure out a way to keep Trevor away from Mike.
"It doesn't matter." Mike says with a shrug, really not wanting to get into it.
"It clearly does." Harvey says, already not liking the sound of that.
"No, It doesn't. It's something I didn't tell Mom, or my best friend." Mike says standing up, "It happened the last time we saw each other, before now, and it's why I was such an idiot for believing him when he said he wanted to give us a real chance this time." Mike says, sounding frustrated with himself.
"Mike, what happened?" Harvey asks, standing up too, his voice full of concern, and honestly it is a tone of voice that Mike never thought he would hear coming out of Harvey's mouth.
"I don't want to talk about it." Mike admits as he has never talked about it out loud, and really doesn't want to.
"Maybe you should, if you haven't told anyone then you clearly need to." Harvey argues, stepping towards Mike, as he remembers his training from the DA's office, "But if you don't want to tell me, which I get, then tell your mom, or you best friend….." Harvey starts to say, trailing off as he doesn't know who Mike's best friend is.
"Katrina." Mike explains, "She's like a sister to me." Mike admits and honestly Harvey really hopes that she is a better person than Trevor, "We meet at Law School when I went into the wrong class, and we worked at the DA's office together." Mike reveals, "She's the first friend I've ever had that hasn't used me in some way, even Tess did once or twice. Katrina never has." Mike explains, as he does he looks over to his bookshelf where there is a picture of him and Katrina from his first birthday when he was at the DA's office, "Mom thinks that Trevor only called again to try manipulate me into paying off his debts." Mike admits, looking pained.
"What do you think?" Harvey asks, walking over to Mike.
"My heart wants to say no way. I want to believe that he meant what he said, that he was telling the truth when he apologised for what he did last time." Mike says and those words cause Harvey to frown and make him feel even angrier at Trevor, "But my head says that that is naive that I have to at least consider that there's a chance." Mike admits, a tear coming to his eye as he doesn't want to believe that.
"I'm sorry, Mike." Harvey says putting a hand on Mike's shoulder.
"Yeah, me too." Mike says, hurriedly wiping the tears away from his eyes as he doesn't want Harvey to see.
For a little while Harvey and Mike just stand in silence, Harvey still holding Mike's shoulder in comfort, neither knowing what to say, but then there is a knock on the door.
"You expecting someone?" Harvey asks, really hoping that it's not Trevor as if it is Harvey isn't overly sure he can be responsible for his actions, as he lets go of Mike's shoulder.
"Yeah, pizza." Mike admits, heading over to the door.
"Guess I better leave you to it then." Harvey comments, about a minute later when Mike has collected and paid for his pizza, though honestly after everything that Mike has told him, and how much he has clearly drunk Harvey isn't entirely sure that it's a good idea to leave Mike alone.
"You can stay if you want. I brought more than enough." Mike admits, the words out of his mouth before he can comprehend the implications.
"Sure, I haven't eaten yet." Harvey comments as Mike carries everything over to the kitchen area.
"My movie collections in the cabinet next to the TV. We can watch something if you want." Mike suggests.
"You have anything good?" Harvey asks curious, as he takes off his jacket, figuring that he might as well make himself comfortable.
"Of course I do." Mike says and while Mike gets plates and glasses out of the cupboard and drinks out of the fridge he looks through Mike's DVD collection and picks a movie. Once he does Harvey walks over to Mike and starts to collect some food and five minutes later Mike and Harvey are sitting side by side on Mike's couch as they watch a movie, both eating while Harvey drinks beer and Mike having switched the straight vodka he was drinking for soda.
Even though he should feel odd about eating pizza and watching movies with his boss Mike realises that it doesn't feel awkward at all. On the other side of the couch Harvey is thinking similar thoughts, that he should feel awkward about sitting in his associates, who happens to be his mentor's son, apartment Harvey doesn't. In fact, it actually feels normal, not unusual at all.
A couple of hours later all the food that Mike has ordered has been eaten, several beers have been drunk and the movie that Harvey picked out, that he and Mike ended up quoting along with, is just ending.
"I better get going." Harvey comments as the credits start to roll.
"Yeah. It is getting late." Mike realises, "I'll see you tomorrow."
"And you better not even think about being hung over." Harvey tells Mike, it being the only thing he can think to say to try and get Mike not to finish the bottle of Vodka.
"I won't be." Mike comments, as he knows he has to drink a hell of a lot more than he has to get a bad hangover.
"Good." Harvey says, standing up and heading to the door, picking up his jacket as he goes.
"Harvey." Mike says when his boss gets to the door, causing Harvey to turn around, "Thanks." Mike says, not overly sure whether he is thanking Harvey for the company, or listening to him about Trevor, or not forcing him to talk about what Trevor did last time, or even all of the above.
"Don't mention it." Harvey says with a nod before heading out of the apartment.
After Harvey leaves Mike cleans up the mess that he and Harvey made before he turns everything off and heads over to his bed and basically just falls onto it, and because of the lack of sleep he has gotten over the last few days it isn't long at all before Mike falls asleep.
After the first restful sleep he has had in days Mike gets up and heads into the firm, as he does he stops and picks up something as he realised that he has only talked to two of the three people that he needs to talk to about his actions of the last few days.
Having made sure to get to work before most people do Mike walks straight up to Donna's desk and places her favourite coffee in on the edge of her cubical.
"What do you need?" Donna asks, seeing the coffee.
"Nothing." Mike tells her, "This is an apology, for the fact that you had to witness the fight between me and Mom." Mike says, handing the coffee over.
"Things okay now?" Donna asks as she takes the coffee.
"Yeah." Mike says, with a nod, "It's won't happen again because there is only one thing, one person, that Mom and I fight like that about, and he's gone. At least for a while." Mike explains, knowing that he doesn't have to watch what he says around Donna because she heard the fight and was probably able to put the pieces together from what she heard, and what she knows.
"Good." Donna says, meaning that.
"Yeah, I better get to work." Mike says, knowing that he has grunt work to do, "I'll see you later, Donna." Mike stays, starting to walk away.
"Mike." Donna says, standing up before he can walk more than a few steps, "If you need someone to talk to, I'm here." She offers, doing so because she has seen how far from okay Mike has been in the past few days, and she wants to help.
"Thanks Donna." Mike says gratefully, and Donna just gives him a smile in response before Mike walks away.
"Donna, you seen Mike this morning?" Harvey asks a few hours later when he's been working for a little while and due to the fact that he saw how Mike was the night before, and the fact that he hasn't seen Mike yet, he can't help but feeling a little bit worried about his associate, not that he'd admit that.
"Yeah. He was here earlier. Said he was getting to work, probably in the file room." Donna responds as she knows for a fact that Mike works in the file room because it's where he won't be interrupted, as well as it being a place where he can hide from the other associates.
"Yeah, probably." Harvey responds, pulling out his phone, and sending a message saying, 'get up here' to Mike.
For a few minutes Harvey waits before Mike walks in as he does Harvey looks the younger man up and down, checking to see whether seems okay, and honestly if he didn't know what he knew Harvey would be sure that Mike is completely fine.
"What do you need?" Mike asks as he walks in.
"Client meeting this afternoon, you're coming." Harvey tells him, "I want you completely familiar with the client and their history." Harvey says, handing the files over.
"Got it." Mike responds as he takes them.
"Good, we leave at two." Harvey tells him, "Don't be late."
"I won't be." Mile says before heading out of the office without another word.
If someone were to tell Harvey a few days earlier that he would miss Mike's constant talking he would tell them that they were completely wrong, but as he sits in the back of Ray's car with Mike, the two of them on their way back from meeting with the client, he realises that he actually misses Mike's chattering as ever since they left the office Mike has only been speaking when spoken to.
"You know the doors not going anywhere." Harvey comments, doing the only thing he can think to break the silence, commenting on the fact that Mike is clearly uncomfortable with being in a car.
"Trust me, you want me holding on the door." Mike responds, doing things he's learnt over the years to attempt to push down his memories of the accident.
"Oh? Why's that?" Harvey asks curious.
"Because if I don't do what I'm doing to keep down some memories of mine then I'm gonna react in a way that you'd really not want to see." Mike explains, knowing that his mother told Harvey about the fact that he was in the car with his parents, and so he doesn't have to explain the big reason behind why he is reacting the way he is.
"You really don't like being in cars, do you?" Harvey asks, wondering just how much of a struggle it is for Mike every time he gets into a car.
"No." Mike answers without hesitation, "Most of the time I can deal, but after the accident the other day…" Mike starts to say before trailing off.
"It's even harder for you." Harvey realises and Mike nods.
"I'm be able to deal better again in a few days, maybe a couple of weeks." Mike says, deciding not to mention that he would once use pot to try and push down the memories, as he is determine not to do that this time.
"Okay." Harvey says, "We'll be back at the firm soon." Harvey says, knowing that they are only a few blocks away.
"Not a second too soon." Mike mutters.
"When we get back I want you to draw up the new contracts. Get them to me first thing in the morning." Harvey tells him, trying to distract Mike from his fear.
"Okay." Mike says with a nods.
"I'm also going to need you to summaries the companies and all assets."
"Will do." Mike says with a nod and as he does Ray has to slam on the break and as he does Mike starts to shake and all colour drains from his face as he once more has a flashback of the accident.
"Mike, it's okay." Harvey tells him, "You're okay. You're not back there." Harvey says, having remembered what Jessica told him about Mike's flashbacks, "Mike." Harvey says concerned, putting his hand on Mike's leg, which causes Mike to jump.
"I'm need to get out of here." Mike hurriedly says, "I'll walk the rest of the way." Mike says before getting out of the car.
"MIKE." Harvey calls after him, but Mike doesn't respond he just gets out of the car.
A few minutes later, having debated what to do Harvey is standing in front of Pearson Hardman waiting where Ray dropped him, when he notices Mike, who has taken off his jacket, and who looks like he is about to have a panic attack, walking up.
"You seriously waited for me?" Mike asks surprised, "I'd be careful Harvey, it's starting to seem like you care about me."
"I just wanted to make sure you made it back in one piece. You're no good to me if you can't work." Harvey explains, trying to play down the fact that he does actually care.
"Right." Mike says, as the two of them start to make their way to the building, "Well, there is nothing for you to worry about. I'll work better than usual right now." Mike reveals.
"Why exactly is that?" Harvey asks, suspecting the answer.
"Because work's the second best distraction there is." Mike inform Harvey.
"What's the first?"
"You don't want to know." Mike responds, which leaves Harvey to have a pretty good idea of what Mike isn't saying, and the two of them walk to the elevators in silence and when they get to them Mike gets out at the floor for the file room while Harvey gets out at his floor.
Hours later Mike has finished all the work that Harvey asked him to do and is just heading out.
"Hey." Rachel says, seeing Mike as he walks through the bullpen, "I haven't seen you all day." She comments.
"I was working in the file room." Mike explains.
"You work in there a lot." Rachel notes as they walk.
"That's because it's quiet, and no one bothers me." Mike explains.
"You know you can't avoid the other associates forever. If you do they'll just get worse." Rachel informs Mike trying to help him.
"Avoiding the other associates is last on my list of reasons why I work in the file room." Mike explains.
"Sure, it is." Rachel says disbelieving.
"It is." Mike stresses.
"You want to go get a drink?" Rachel asks curious.
"No, but thanks." Mike says as he heads to the elevators while Rachel continues on to where she was going when she ran into Mike.
As he leaves the office Mike is more tempted than he has been in a while to go to one of the places where he knows he can get pot, just so he can make the memories stop, but instead he gets on his bike and just rids, not to his apartment, or to his mothers, but to another place where he is completely comfortable.
Not that long after he left the firm Mike is knocking at an apartment door. A few seconds later the door opens to reveal Katrina, in sweats pants and a tank top, and a Harvard hoddie.
"Mike, what are you doing here?" Katrina asks, surprised to see him.
"I… I just really need my best friend tonight." Mike says, his voice sounding lost, and as much as she wishes she never has, it is a tone that Katrina has heard before, more than once, and so without a word Katrina hugs her best friend then lets him into the apartment.
"You were in the car with Harvey when he had his accident, weren't you?" Katrina asks as she read about the accident in the paper, and thought that Mike may have been in the car, though she hoped he wasn't.
"Yeah." Mike confirms as the two of them make their way over Katrina's couch, "But that's not the only reason I'm need you." He admits.
"Trevor." Katrina guesses, knowing what he can do to her best friend.
"Yeah." Mike confirms as they sit down, "He called a few days ago, from jail."
"Please tell me you didn't." Katrina says, though she knows how useless the hope that he didn't bail out Trevor is as there is no way he wouldn't have.
"Of course I did." Mike says as he leans back on the couch, "He said he was different this time, and he wasn't high when he said so. I thought he was telling the truth." He admits.
"What happened?" Katrina asks, knowing that something did because its Trevor something always happens, there is always another shoe to drop, as she leans back against the couch too, but unlike Mike who's backs is against the couch her side is.
"He got abducted by people he owed money too." Mike explains, "He owed them sixty grand and they called me giving me an hour to hand it over or they'd hurt him." Mike reveals and Katrina has to bite her tongue to keep herself from commenting as she will once Mike has explained the whole story, "I was going to use my trust and give them what they wanted, but Harvey came up with another idea."
"Harvey got involved?" Katrina asks surprised, not being able to stop herself.
"Yeah." Mike confirms, "We didn't end up paying a cent and Trevor was freed. He's on a bus to Montana right now."
"Good." Katrina says as in her opinion the further away Trevor is from her best friend the better.
"Mom thinks that he knew those guys were going to come so he reached out to me in hopes that I'd pay off his debts." Mike admits, and as he does he turns to look at Katrina, and the second he does he knows what she is thinking, "You think she's right."
"After everything he's done I wouldn't put it past him." Katrina admits, and as she does she takes a deep breath, reaches out and takes her friends hand, "Mike I know how much Trevor means to you, and I know how much you want him to keep giving him chances, how much you want him to change, but I don't think he's going to."
"He said things were different." Mike tells Katrina, "I knew it was stupid to believe him, especially after what happened last time, but he was finally sober and saying what I always wanted to hear." Mike reveals, becoming upset, "I was such an idiot, I shouldn't have known better, especially after what he did."
"Mike what the hell happened last time?" Katrina asks worried.
"Katrina…." Mike starts to say.
"No, talk to me Mike. Don't push me away again." Katrina requests, "Last time Trevor came back into your life you almost got fired and then you took a weeks' vacation time off, something which you had never done before and haven't done since, and disappeared for that week." Katrina tells him, "You had both me and your Mom worried because we couldn't find you, and wouldn't explain where you were or what happened." Katrina explains as even Jessica's guy Carter couldn't find Mike, which made things even more worrying, and then when he got back Mike just told her and Jessica that he needed time away after seeing Trevor again.
"I was in a hotel in jersey." Mike reveals, deciding to take Harvey's advice and tell someone.
"With Trevor?"
"No." Mike answers, "I was trying to get away from him, which is why Carter couldn't find me." Mike admits as he knew how Carter works which is how he was able to hide from him.
"What the hell did he do, Mike?" Katrina asks, becoming even more worried.
"He crossed a line." Mike reveals, and Katrina tenses at that and squeezes Mike's hand, suspecting what Mike isn't saying.
"He hurt you, physically." Katrina realises, everything making a hell of a lot more sense, "How bad?" she asks worried, thinking back as she tries to remember if Mike showed any signs of being hurt.
"One punch, bruised my face." Mike admits, having had to use cover up to hide the healing bruise for a few days after he got back, "And…." Mike starts to say before trailing off, not being sure how to say what else happened.
"And what, Mike?" Katrina asks, trying to encourage him to talk to her.
"I told him to wait, that I wasn't prepared enough… he didn't." Mike reveals, admitting what happened for the first time, it being harder than he was expecting to do so.
"God Mike." Katrina says, having no idea what else to say before just hugging her best friend, "I'm sorry that happened to you."
"You're the first person I've told." Mike says as he Katrina holds him tightly, and honestly as hard as it was to admit he feels better having done so.
"Thank you for trusting me." Katrina tells her friend as they break apart, "If he comes back, if he even tries to contact you call me straight away." Katrina requests, being prepared to do whatever it takes to keep Trevor away from her best friend, the person she sees as a little brother, "Don't let him in again Mike, and let me get a restraining order." She suggests, being pretty sure she can guess the answer.
"I'll consider it if he comes back." Mike says, though honestly he wants to talk to Trevor, find out whether he did try and use him if he comes back, before making any decision.
"Okay." Katrina says as that is a better response than she was expecting.
"Can I stay here tonight?" Mike asks curious as he really doesn't want to go home alone.
"Of course. Couch is yours and your spare suit is still here." Katrina reveals as Mike keeps a spare suit at her apartment, while she keeps a spare work outfit at Mike's, for the times when they stay at each other's apartments.
"Thanks." Mike says gratefully, "I don't want anyone else to know, especially not Mom."
"I won't say anything, promise." Katrina assures her friend and Mike gives her a grateful look, "So, I think now is the perfect time for a Wire marathon." Katrina comments, knowing it always helps her friend.
"It definitely is." Mike confirms, being grateful for the fact that Katrina is going to make things as normal as possible for him, "I'll put it on."
"I'll get supplies." Katrina says heading to the kitchen.
Ten minutes later Katrina and Mike are once more sitting side by side on Katrina's couch, but this time they are surrounded by food and drinks and watching TV, both of them feeling completely relaxed and comfortable even with what Mike revealed. Mike feeling like a weight has now been lifted of his shoulders at his revaluation while Katrina is feeling hate at what Trevor did to Mike while also feeling determine to make sure he doesn't get anywhere near Mike again.